Chel'd Up and Spit Out

Julie is a vision in ecru this evening as she goes on at length about all the intrigue that's been going on in the house this week. I already wrote about it once, so there's nothing really new to say here other than to take up an opportunity I missed yesterday to make fun of James's baggy old-man shorts.

After the Veto ceremony, Adam goes to try to smooth things over with his replacement nominee, Sharon. It doesn't work, though, because she's already smooth as glass. Adam's grateful to her for not being mad. Honestly, Sharon couldn't have asked for something in return from Joshuah or Adam? Safety from nomination? A future vote? Speech therapy sessions, either from Josh or for Adam? Something.

Chelsia DRs about how people are jealous of her bond with James, the only person in the house she can trust. The two of them mope on a bed while Chelsia regrets not playing the game and getting in a relationship instead. Meanwhile, as penance for vetoing himself and leaving her in the lurch, her partner in that relationship climbs all over her.

Montage of Natalie annoying everyone in the house, particularly Chelsia, who fiddles with her lip-stud as Natalie goes on about stupid stuff. Chelsia claims not to have been able to stand Natalie since day one (her current level of annoyance has nothing to do with Natalie pulling the strings to get her nominated, of course), and decides to go out with a "bang." So out of nowhere, she starts smashing the Easter eggs that Natalie has been coloring and painting. At first it's just one at a time, but then she reaches into the bowl and she squishes them with her hands. She basically starts putting on a whole show, acting like a complete asshole, while Sharon lies low and Natalie retreats into the bedroom to paint her toenails and whisper affirmations to herself. Later, Adam and Ryan hang in the HoH room watching her on the monitor and declaring Chelsia's done. It's this kind of masterful analysis that has brought them this far. Even James DRs that Chelsia has turned into a "raging bitch" -- that's a direct quote -- and after he little display, he plans to vote to evict her. Charming.

DR: Natalie wants Chelsia out because of her foul mouth, and also for "vengeance for Matty." Sheila also wants Chelsia out for being a "gossip-monger." And because everyone has to take their turn being hated by Sheila for some obscure reason, and right now it's Chelsia's shift.

After the ads, Julie talks to the houseguests on the viewscreen, and attempts a joke about Adam's liking for baby food that falls flat. Maybe Julie needs to start with easier jokes, and then work up to more advanced humor like making fun of a grown man who enjoys Gerber's. She then plays them a clip from Sunday of Sheila throwing herself into Evel Dick's arms, and Sheila readily explains that now that she's lived in the house, she's attracted to Dick. Damn, man, this house does worse things to you than alcohol. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first to speculate about a phenomenon called "Big Brother goggles," so I'm just not going to.

Natalie goes to the DR first, and happily votes to evict Chelsia. Joshuah unhappily makes the same vote. So does Ryan, in a relatively neutral way. So that's Chelsia out. Sheila also votes for Chelsia to leave, and so does James, making it unanimous. Should be a good moment when Julie announces the vote tally. After the ads, that is.

And we're back. Julie breaks the news, and Chelsia stands and tells everyone to stay where they are. But she's got some parting words first. "Adam, get a backbone in this game. You're playing like a baby. Sheila, you've been rode hard you will be put away wet. Natalie, educate yourself, you need one." Kind of undercut her last point at the end there. Joshuah goes in for a hug, and she says she loves him. She whispers some instructions to him. Surprisingly, she lets James hug her, although she tries to back away when he starts kissing all over her. But when she finally manages through a superhuman effort to break free, she goes back for another hug before leaving. On he way out, she says, "Blow this house up." Capital idea! "Real mature," Sheila says when the door closes behind Chelsia. Yeah, everyone needs to decompress a little after that exit.

Out on the Chenterview bench, Julie asks Chelsia what she whispered to Joshuah. She says it was just something about not psyching himself out before competitions. Well, that's disappointing. That's why I hope nobody ever tells me what Bill Murray whispers to ScarJo at the end of Lost in Translation. Julie then asks Chelsia about her "two live speeches," (read: bitchfests) and asks how she felt about not getting a sympathy vote from James. Chelsia claims she expected it; she didn't want James to make the same mistake she did. She says she played with her heart too much, including her vote to bring James back. Well, certainly nobody will accuse James of doing that. Now that he's voted against Chelsia, everyone in the house will like him again.

Goodbye messages. Joshuah promises to take out Natalie and Adam. Sharon wants to stay friends. Natalie tells Chelsia that she's been praying for God to open up her eyes and help her quit hating on people, causing Chelsia snickers. God's like, "Yeah, I'm all over that." James's farewell message to her is nowhere near as tearful as hers to him, and he says that being with her is worth more than $500,000 anyway. Which is why he Vetoed himself and not her. Oh, wait, except he did the opposite of that. After that's over, Chelsia is crying again. Julie asks her about the chances of a romance with James outside the house, and Chelsia isn't committing to anything yet. "We'll see," she says. She wants to watch this season with him first. So which do you think will be the deal-breaker: James's "raging bitch" comment in the DR, or his career in gay porn?

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But first, it's time for the HoH competition. Natalie, Joshuah, Sharon, Ryan, Sheila, and James (with outgoing HoH Adam sitting out) are going to be playing an election-themed challenge. They're standing at the head of a giant game board, wearing long red gloves on their right arms and long blue gloves on their left, and with whited-out swim goggles on their faces. Apparently people have been answering questions on CBS.com about each of the houseguests and what they would do if they were running for president. These people running for president? If I read that on the internet, I'd be off of CBS.com and onto the website for the New Zealand consulate so fast I'd leave skid marks on my browser. Anyway, every answer they get right allows them to take one step forward on the board, and the first one to finish is HoH.

Everyone but Sheila and James get the first one right, which is about whether Sheila or Joshuah would be more likely to replace Mount Rushmore with their own face. Seriously, James? Are you paying attention at all? I would also say Sheila should have known better, but she never does. This continues for a while, and it's even more boring than usual. Until you realize that six or seven questions in, Natalie is in the lead by two steps. No one is more surprised than her when she ends up winning. She goes into a full-on Miss Congeniality cry.

Everyone's back in the living room, and Natalie tells Julia via viewscreen how excited she is and mow much she's looking forward to seeing pictures of her friends and family and animals, and also her Yellowcard CD. I just realized I haven't said this for a while, so it's overdue: Oh, Natalie.

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Provenance
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http://www.brilliantbutcancelled.com:80/show/big-brother/cheld-up-and-spit-out-1/
Captured
2017-11-14
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recap (100%)
Wayback Machine
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