We start with a recap of the moments following the announcement of Chelsia's eviction. In response to Chelsia's bitchy advice to "educate yourself," Natalie DRs that she's got three years of college, and plays dumb really well. Indeed, she had me fooled. Sheila complains about Chelsia's immaturity. And thanks to the editors and sound engineers, we get to hear a bit more clearly what Chelsia whispered in Joshuah's ear when she hugged him goodbye. Just like she told Julie, it was advice to Joshuah not to psych himself out before competitions. Joshuah DRs that he feels like he's lost his sister in the house, which I'm sure Sharon would be grateful to hear. She's probably the only one who doesn't know she's Joshuah's therapist in the house. And James says he's now in the game alone. Oh, boo hoo. Tell it to the person who used the Veto to leave Chelsia on the block. As for Chelsia's instructions to Adam to "get a backbone," Adam DRs that he's got enough backbone to have gotten Chelsia out of the house. Advantage: A-Baller.
Josh DRs that his alliance with Sharon and James must now win HoH. The black-and-white flashback of the HoH contest includes colorized gloves, which doesn't make it any more interesting. Oh, and it looks like we (and by "we," I mean "Americans who voted on CBS.com," which is not technically "we" because it certainly doesn't "me" and probably not "you") offended Joshuah by thinking that Natalie could deliver a more inspirational speech than he could.
And after Natalie's HoH win, James DRs that he's going to have to figure out a new way of playing the game. What's wrong with the way he's been playing it? Winning PoV every week makes him pretty tough to boot. Joshuah, wearing a "TV Makes You Smarter" T-shirt, feels his defeat by Natalie in a mental competition like a knife in his heart. Maybe the knife should be in his brain in this metaphor.
Later, Ryan and Adam congratulate Natalie on winning a mental competition. "How did you win?" Ryan asks. "You're such an idiot!" Meanwhile, Josh and James figure that one of the two of them will be gone week. And they listen unhappily to the God-bothering gloating from the room, as Natalie goes on about asking the Almighty for signs and guidance and all of the other kinds of things that God has nothing but time for, especially where reality show contestants are concerned. In light of the obvious divine assist, Ryan and Natalie and Adam decide that their alliance will now be named "Team Christ." Which is a great name, as long as I can put an "Oh" in the middle of it. This is still going on later, as Natalie blathers about the signs from God, as well as all manner of bullshit around the number seven. Because God's into numerology, apparently.
"Natalie is crazy," Joshuah DRs, reminding us that Natalie's theories change at a whim. You'll recall that last week it was all about eights, and now it's all about sevens, and who knows what it's going to be week. Please, Joshuah, I'm just trying to get through this one week at a time.
While Natalie packs up to move into the HoH room, thanking God in a whisper the whole time, James comes in to ask if she plans to put him up. She says something about not being sure she can trust him (note to Natalie: you can't), and getting screwed again, and she acts like she doesn't know what she's going to do. Sure she doesn't.
Natalie shows everyone her new HoH room, which Josh makes a couple of quietly bitchy comments about. She reads the letter from her family, crying happily. This prompts Sheila to have her own weepfest in the DR about how much she misses her son. Did she think she would get to bring him along? Now Natalie is all inspired and shit.
As Head of Household, Natalie is allowed to make people do what she wants, and in this case it's making everyone play hide and seek with her. She hides in a tub of laundry, but is easily found because of her knee sticking out. Then she wants to play again, and scares the bejeezus (and a satisfying girly scream) out of Josh when he finds her crammed into a cabinet under the bathroom sink.
Sharon, Sheila, and Natalie all invite Joshuah to sit down with them and tell them his coming out to his parents story. It's not very movie-of-the week at all; basically Joshuah told his mom at age eighteen in what amounted to an argument about going to a party, and then his mom told his dad later, but they both seem pretty cool about it. Sheila approves, and says that she'll love her son unconditionally, including if he was born gay. Which I support her doing, and have no reason to doubt, at least until the time she gets pissed off about something.
Later that night, Sharon and Joshuah agree that James has to go, because he'll turn on Joshuah. Sharon seems to be in pretty good shape, but even so, Josh is kind of a big guy for her to be carrying in this game.
James pays Natalie a visit in the HoH room, warning her that if she puts him up, his alliance will come after her. That would be the alliance that is currently planning James's ouster outside at this very moment. Natalie buys it, though, and says she feels like the "outcast" in her own group. Natalie wants to trust James not to nominate her, but since he got rid of Matt, she's worried about it. James points out that Natalie got rid of Chelsia, so they're even. And so they agree to enter a secret alliance to go to the final two. After he leaves, Natalie sits in the empty HoH room and asks God and Big Brother what she should do. No answer appears to be forthcoming, from either one.
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It's another one of those increasingly sporadic food competitions. Natalie sends everyone to separate rooms to wait, and then they'll all have to go out to the yard one at a time to "play." Sharon goes out first, to find a barnyard theme, with "food" and "slop" tokens sitting on a podium. There are also six watermelons sitting on houseguest-specific posts with slots cut into them. The "game," such as it is, is kind of a combination between the prisoner's dilemma and the battle of wits from The Princess Bride. Everyone must put a "food" or "slop" token into their watermelon, but you don't necessarily get what you choose, depending on what the majority chooses. "How well do you know your houseguests?" is the hook. Sharon describes the rules to us twice, and it still doesn't make a lick of sense to me. Just know that she chooses slop. Adam doesn't seem to understand the instructions as well as she does, so he picks food. Sheila doesn't know what to do, and we don't see her choice. Joshuah also picks slop, partly because he knows that's what Sharon did. We don't see Ryan's vote, either, but he's figuring it'll go 3-3. James also chooses slop, figuring he'll get screwed somehow. Yes, the whole world is out to get James, who was evicted almost three weeks ago and is still here.
Time to reveal the votes, which is of course done by having the houseguests smash their watermelons. They suck at it; there's not a Gallagher among them. The slop choosers turn out to be James, Sharon, Joshuah, Ryan, and Sheila, so Adam and Natalie are the only ones on food. None of the slop people are looking forward to this week. I should mention that I'm not eating slop this week. I wish I could tell them what to do to avoid having to eat the stuff, if only I could think of what I'm doing differently from them.
James gets up in the middle of the night to play pool and chess and regrets with himself. "If I don't care about the money, why didn't I use the veto on Chelsia?" he muses. Asked and answered, dude.
day, Ryan and Adam run around in the pool to turn it into a whirlpool, and Adam tires himself out so much that he can't even get out. Fewer houseguests means more airtime spent on pointless activities!
At first it looks like Natalie's looking at the memory wall to choose her nominees, but she's really just communing with the black-and-white picture of Matt, staring at it and whispering to it and shit. Everyone out in the back yard peeks in and laughs at her, and Joshuah DRs that Matt should probably look into the witness protection program or a restraining order after the game is over. "It would not surprise me if I woke up and saw lipstick all over his picture," he says, to my total agreement.
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Ryan is presenting his plan for the week to Natalie in the HoH room: backdoor James by nominating Joshuah and Sharon. She reminds us in the DR that she and James may or may not have struck a deal, so she has to give Ryan's proposal some serious thought. You can totally see the gear turning in her head.
Natalie deliberates on her nominations. Ryan says he's not worried and would like to see James get backdoored. Joshuah is nervous, since couples have been getting targeted since the game split them up. James says he's seen as a threat, but is hoping he got through to Natalie. Sharon hollers in the DR that she's been aligned with Joshuah and James all along, which makes her vulnerable. And Natalie says she's going to do what's best for her.
Nomination ceremony. Natalie carries in the key box, which is almost as big as she is. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't fit in that bathroom cabinet. For sure. Here's who's safe: Adam, Sheila, Ryan, and...Sharon. So that's James and Joshuah on the block. Natalie says she feels threatened by Joshuah, and still doesn't trust James, plus she feels she has to break up the James-Joshuah axis.
Josh DRs about no longer being a "block virgin." James boasts that he's a big threat in the house, and vows to come after Natalie (if he doesn't get evicted, which he admits is possible). Natalie says she nominated James because she doesn't trust him, and then gives the real reason for her decision. "Matty will be ecstatic!" If this "breaking up couples" strategy is going to continue, someone needs to point out that evicting half of a couple doesn't quite accomplish that.
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