Spoon-Fed

Natalie is predictably grief-stricken at Matt's departure, and blames herself for trusting James. And, you know, failing to hang onto that disco ball until she literally died. Adam is also sad to see Matt go, and is worried that Ryan will be pissed at him for voting to keep Matt. Sheila DRs that she's now out for vengeance for Matt -- who she decided to evict just last week. It's getting kind of hard to keep track of which Sheila we're watching at any given time. James is unrepentant in the DR, saying that he went back on his word and booted Matt, just like what was done to him two weeks ago. But James, what about the fact that they brought you back? Well, as he says, he's only back "because of their own stupidity." The editors helpfully insert a shot of Natalie, just to illustrate this concept. Aside from that, this is the guy who wants to bike around the world to promote peace: someone who can't get past the fact that he got beat on a game show. We get a closer look at Matt's departure, and see that he not only turned away from Natalie's kiss, he also pushed her away with a cold "See you later" before walking out. She cries in the DR room, and Sharon helpfully psychoanalyzes that Natalie now feels like she's lost the game and her soulmate. Natalie is half right. Adam runs down the alliances one more time: Joshuah/James/Chelsia/Sharon vs. Ryan/Sheila/Natalie (an alliance he feels railroaded into). Josh feels good about having voted to keep Ryan, since Ryan is staying and they can continue to have their secret alliance. And then, thanks to an overlong NCAA basketball game combined with a DVR glitch, I lose several minutes of video, but I feel confident that it consisted of little more than additional footage of Natalie being sad and everyone else talking about the new strategic landscape represented by Matt's departure and Adam's position as HoH.

Sharon drives Joshuah nuts talking to the guinea pigs in a high-pitched voice and calling them her "furr-einds," which is annoying enough for a little three-minute sequence, but I can't imagine living with it 24/7. The moral: even the least offensive person in the house can work the last nerve of the others. We see complaints about it in the DR from Josh, Adam, and -- get this -- the guinea pigs themselves, who sit on the DR couch squeaking, with the subtitles, "Sharon needs to go on the block this week for sure...'Furr-einds,' my tail." Oh, you funny, funny editors.

Let's check out Adam's HoH room. The main thing is that there is a real lot of baby food in there. The fuck? Everyone makes fun of Adam, who protests both to everyone else and the DR that he doesn't like it that much, aside from the bananas and vanilla custard. The only one not making fun of Adam is Natalie -- who hopes he shares his stash with her. I think I just figured out the reason she talks that way.

Joshuah and Sheila speculate about who they think Adam is going to nominate. Joshuah says it'll be the two of them, more to fuck with Sheila's head than because he thinks it's actually the case.

But just to be safe, Joshuah strikes a deal with Adam to help him in the future if Adam doesn't nominate or backdoor Joshuah. Then the two of them go in to ask Sheila how she'd feel if she and Josh go up. Sheila acts shocked that Adam would even think about it, and if he was kidding before, her pissy attitude and threats seem to have him thinking about seriously doing it, if only so we don't have to sit and listen to her entitled bullshit any more.

It's time for a "luxury challenge," which is going to determine which of them gets to see the upcoming movie 21, which just happens to be a Columbia Pictures release (yes, that's "Columbia" as in what the "C" in "CBS" stands for). As annoyed as I am by the blatant cross-promotion, I will freely recommend the book that the movie is based on, Bringing Down the House, about a bunch of card-counting math brainiacs who took Vegas for millions. I will draw the line at looking up the author or getting you an Amazon link, however. Anyway, they all sit and watch the trailer and get all excited, because normally the monitor doesn't show them anything more exciting than Julie Chen asking them inane questions and bossing them around. They then head out to the backyard, which has been transformed into an outdoor casino. It's mostly just set dressing, of course, and they won't get to play with most of it. As host of the competition, Adam explains that they'll be competing in a card-counting-themed challenge in which the winner will win four passes for themselves to a screening of 21, and also get to pick which of the other three houseguests get to join them, in a desperate bid to add a little drama to this naked product placement.

The competition begins, and it's fairly tricky. Cards flash up on a screen, one at a time, with houseguests' faces and a number. They have to then name the houseguests whose cards add up to twenty-one, which means they have to remember who showed up on what number card. I couldn't do it, I confess. Unless I tried really hard, which I have to admit I didn't while watching. Anyway, Ryan wins the first hand, and James tries to follow that, but screws up and gets eliminated. Adam wins the chip. Sheila is the to go out. Ryan gets his second chip, and then Josh gets eliminated by buzzing in before he's ready and having to make a wild guess. Well, at least he got to play. Natalie wins a chip, to everyone's frank amazement, and then Ryan gets his third chip and a commanding lead. He also wins the fourth chip, and that's it; he's won the luxury competition. Okay, that was impressive. Everyone claps happily for Ryan, all "Pick me! Pick me!" Ryan picks Adam, Natalie, and James to join him for the screening, the latter to further smooth things over about James's backdooring. Not that Mister Turn The Other Cheek is going to be bought off that easily. Sheila is disappointed not to get picked, but at least she doesn't bitch self-righteously about what type of person this makes Ryan.

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Adam stands before the memory wall, looking at it thoughtfully. James thinks Adam would be stupid to put him up, since James would get revenge "tenfold" if he does. Because that's how world peace happens. Sheila doesn't trust Adam to let go of the shitty way she's treated him. Joshuah is confident in th deal he's made with Adam, and everyone's going to be surprised.

Adam sits and plugs keys into the box, VOing that a time comes when you have to make enemies in the house. Unless you never win HoH. Or, better yet, don't play at all. That's worked pretty well for me so far. But Adam says he's made up his mind.

Everyone gathers around the new, smaller table, and Adam says that even though nobody has done him wrong (conveniently forgetting Sheila's week-one nonstop bitching about him), but he had to make a decision and, as he tells them it's "not so bad." Here's who's safe: Natalie, Sharon, Ryan ("That's rare," he murmurs), Joshuah, and Sheila. Adam explains that he's not planning to backdoor anyone, and that for the same reason James gave for nominating Matt (namely, breaking up the Nat/Matt alliance), Adam is breaking up James and Chelsia. Plus he figures this will even out votes in his favor when he's on the block in future. Meeting over!

Natalie gloats in the DR about how this is payback for James. "You don't mess with me, you don't mess with Matty," she says. I was all ready to make fun of her for taking credit, but then I remembered that Adam did exactly what she told him to do. Have I underestimated her, or is this more like that scene in True Lies where Jamie Lee Curtis kills a room full of terrorists by dropping a machine gun down the stairs? Joshuah takes his turn in the DR to boast about how Adam and Sheila are easy for him to manipulate. "They have no spine or backbone of their own." Sheila doesn't look as happy as you might think about being safe, by the way. She's probably pouting over Adam making her wait until the end.

Adam DRs that he's doing this for Matt, his homeboy, his Bible Buddy. Chelsia and James each angrily DR that only one of them will go, and the other one is going to come after Adam in revenge. I'm glad the two of them are learning so much about the cycle of vengeance, so that after the game they can go out and get on their respective cycles of peace and clean up that whole Middle East thing.

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Provenance
Original URL
http://www.brilliantbutcancelled.com:80/show/big-brother/spoonfed/
Captured
2017-11-14
Page Type
recap (100%)
Wayback Machine
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