Okay, you guys need to know that I had my eyes checked today, and my pupils are still dilated. Everything is all distorted and out of focus for me. Yes, it makes it harder to type, but I'm hoping that seeing the world the way a Big Brother contestant sees it will actually be an advantage for this weecap.
So it's been a full two weeks since the last actual eviction, which means we've been watching the same nine idiots this whole time. I'm looking forward to having one less to deal with after tonight. You hear me, Julie? Don't go pulling any fast ones.
Wow, my eyes are still more screwed up than I thought -- no, wait, that's really Julie's outfit. She welcomes us to Day 42, and brings us up to speed on the basics of the current situation: basically, everyone is equally full of shit.
Natalie DRs angrily about what a hypocrite James is, and it's hard to disagree with her. After the Veto ceremony, Natalie slides over to comfort Matt, but he wants to be alone to sulk. Natalie's crying too, after hanging on the disco ball for five hours for nothing. Ah, who among us hasn't been there?
Matt goes out to the yard to confront James one-on-one, and James sticks to his story that his motivation was that Matt and Natalie are playing as an alliance, even though Matt insists that the alliance is one-way. Matt even turns on the waterworks, claiming to hate himself for letting his mom down. At the time, James seems sympathetic, but he's pretty bitchy about Matt's pathetic-ness in the privacy of the DR.
Matt goes back inside, and Natalie tries to latch onto him again, and he pushes her away again. So he can cry some more.
Ryan gets assurances from Joshuah and Sheila that they'll vote to keep him. "When I make a decision, it's a decision," Sheila boasts to Ryan. It's looking like a 5-1- vote to ditch Matt, with Natalie the one, obviously.
Out by the pool table, Matt talks to Adam, who not only promises to vote to keep Matt, but also encourages him to campaign for himself. So Matt gets the genius idea of going after pity votes from the women in the house. Because Matt knows women, and knows that playing on their sympathies is how you get them to do what you want.
Surprisingly, his first target is Chelsia, to whom he whines that he's going to have spend his birthday in sequester. Chelsia DRs that Matt's pathetic, and it was all she could do to not laugh in his face. It's a similar situation with Sharon, and with Sheila. Matt starts getting frustrated at not getting anywhere.
By way of introducing the bit where we catch up with Dick and Danielle, Julie flubs a line (the first of many she'll be stumbling over tonight) and asks us if things are still going well between the two of them. Well, based on the video clip of them, Dick is certainly happy, because the show has made him famous and brought his name-dropping to a whole new level. Plus people are dropping his name when they spot him, which is like a name-dropper's Holy Grail. With the money, he brought Danielle to Europe, and Danielle claims that their relationship is better. And Dick claims that they wouldn't be talking now if it hadn't been for Big Brother. Still sticking to their "estranged" story, I see. Oh, and Danielle and Nick aren't dating any more. In case you care. Which I don't.
The two of them sit and watch clips from the current season so they can dish about the current cast. They say James is playing the game, Sheila and Natalie talk too much, and Dick thinks this is the only season where Dick could have flown under the radar. I see his point, but even in this season, that radar would have to be on Venus. Whatever, can we be done with them now? No? No; Julie threatens that Dick will be returning week. Oh, goody.
More DR bits. Chelsia wants Matt out for being the self-styled puppet master. Sharon wants Ryan to stay, as the safer choice from her perspective. Sheila says that Matt has never done anything to her, and we all know that Sheila's primary measure of people's morality is how they treat Sheila. But then she says something interesting. She doesn't want to make the decision as to who goes home; she wants James to do it.
Back to the viewscreen. Julie tells Matt and Ryan that the houseguests will vote live in a few minutes, but the nominees have a chance to make their case first. Ryan admits that he's running out of material for these speeches, and says he wants to make up for what he's done wrong. Matt throws himself on the mercy of the house he claims to be "humbled," and admits he was "in on a crime," and basically begs for everyone's votes.
Time to vote, and the houseguests go into the DR one by one. Chelsia goes first, and votes to evict Matt. So does Joshuah. So does Sharon. Natalie obviously votes to evict Ryan. So does Adam. So it's down to Sheila as to whether it's going to be a tie, and when she votes to evict Ryan, it's 3-3. So James is on the spot to break the tie. After the ads, that is.
Julie tells James to stand up and make his choice. Without drama, he boots Matt. Matt says his goodbyes and heads out, leaving behind a subdued house as everyone hugs a softly crying Natalie. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in her. I thought she'd be putting on a display of grief that would shame a Mob funeral.
When everyone's back in the living room, Julie asks Adam how he's feeling. Aside from not looking forward to making nominations, Adam is excited about getting pictures and a letter from home. I wonder if that letter will inform him that he's been fired from his day job. See if that makes him step up his game.