Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Morality Takes A Holiday
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 6 | Aired on 08.05.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Sunday
The HoH competition comes down to Danielle, Howie, and Erika. Howie falls after securing promises of safety from the two women, and then Erika gives up, and just like that, Danielle is HoH. She knows she wants to get Janelle out, but she isn't sure whether to put up Kaysar or to put up James, who can then compete for the veto. Ultimately, Danielle decides to put Janelle up alongside her own alliance-mate, James, which makes him nervous but hopeful that they can get rid of Janelle. And James really, really hates Janelle. He hates her ugly and serious. Elsewhere, Marcellas takes yet another step toward sainthood when he gives George his "Slop Pass" so that George can eat real food for a while. Will throws his back out, and Kaysar's attempts to untwist it make them both think mildly uncomfortable "this isn't gay, right?" thoughts. It's not much of an episode, unless you really like watching James lose his marbles or you really like shots of people hanging from rope webs.
Tuesday
Danielle, having nominated Janelle and James, now wants to keep the nominations the same, so she's happy when she winds up playing with James, Will, Mike, and Marcellas to try to keep the veto away from Janelle. Even though the competition involves giving up things and not succumbing to temptation, most of Danielle's team flakes out on her, and Janelle walks away with the victory. Not only that, but Danielle has to spend twenty-four hours in "solitary confinement" because she agreed to it in order to get points in the competition. By the time she gets out, she's livid at all the people who didn't do their best to keep the veto away from Janelle (she doesn't realize that Mike and Will, in particular, don't care who wins the veto), so when her "Legion of Doom" alliance tries to talk her into nominating Marcellas, she's not up for it. Instead, Danielle sticks to her plan to break up S6, so she puts Kaysar on the block next to James. Janelle? Still sucks.
Thursday
Kaysar and James are on the block, and Kaysar is moping around the house like the unhappiest person ever. For a while, it looks like the vote might be close, but in the end, it's 5-1, with only Howie voting to keep Kaysar after James uses a prize he won in the spiderweb HoH competition to invalidate Janelle's vote. After his eviction, Kaysar spends some quality time with Julie Chen, during which he explains that he's just too good of a person for the show, because he wants it to be all about honor, and it sort of seems like it isn't. Julie tries to act surprised. The HoH competition crowns Erika, but Julie says that a new "coup d'état" twist will mean that for the most part, everything that happens during the week will be meaningless. Isn't that great? Because what this show needed was to lower the extraordinarily high importance of everything that happens. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
What I love about Big Brother is that it proves that even an automaton can become successful, marry a network executive, and tell internet yappers to go chew aluminum foil. That's what I love about Big Brother.
Sunday
As you know, this is usually the portion of the Big Brother recap where we share our despair over (1) the fact that we're all watching; and (2) the fact that we're being put through an agonizingly detailed reminder of what was happening when we were most recently together. Of course, the fact that we're all watching is as miserable a reality as ever, but for once, it actually does matter what was happening when we were all most recently together. Because what was happening was an endurance-based HoH competition that left those without internet access hanging for the week. You'll remember that everyone had climbed up onto a rope web, and then they were sprayed with silly string, which somehow was supposed to knock them off or something. And I must say, when silly string became a weapon, it suddenly appeared that perhaps Big Brother management had lost its bloodlust.
We see the blue-and-white launching of the HoH competition, and then we slide to color as the web is raised up off the ground and into the sky. Erika tells us that she was filled with "fire" after she spent a week on the block. Since she's made of kindling, that would be rather dangerous. Hotcha! Will turns the tables on Sexually Inappropriate Howie as they sit on the web, telling Howie that he seems nervous. And then we see them get sprayed again with whatever that stuff is. Marcellas complains in the DR that they ruined his belt. Marcellas apparently has not learned that you don't wear your Sunday best to an HoH competition, lest you get pelted with eggs or dropped into a vat of oil or something. Will asks Mike whether he's correct in calling himself "a thirty-three-year-old doctor on a big giant spider web." I'm sure the spider web feels the same way about you, smarty. Howie says that the competition was "tailor-made" for him, presumably because it involved lying motionless, but Danielle tells us that everyone looked very comfortable lying around on the spider web, which made her nervous about her chances. She adds that she really, really wanted to keep S6 from winning HoH again. Oh, me too, Danielle. Me too.
A remark from James that it seems like there aren't that many people left takes us to blue-and-white Diane being evicted again. James DRs that Diane represented no threat to him, so Janelle evicted her out of "pure stupidity." Oh, James. Sorry to point this out, pumpkin, but the fact that Diane was no threat to you is not a good demonstration of the stupidity of nominating her. Janelle is stupid, but not because she nominated someone who wasn't a threat to...someone who wasn't her. James goes on to insist that "the entire house is now gunning for Janelle." Danielle DRs that she just loves Diane (have you noticed the difference between Danielle's old DRs and her new DRs?), and that Diane "had every right to be upset, because she was back-doored." I guess "back-doored" now has no meaning, because it refers simply to nominating someone after a veto is used. I don't see, then, how it can be objectionable when the HoH has no choice but to do it. It's like tackling a guy and then getting pissed off that he got up. That selfish asshole! And then Danielle adds, "It is what it is." Which is always helpful. For his part, Marcellas claims that he "had to choke back tears" when Diane left, because he knows her so well. He goes on: "For someone like Janelle to selfishly put her on the block is a gross misuse of power." You know, I'm no Janelle fan, but that is the stupidest reason to be angry at someone that I have ever heard of. "Selfish"? Has Marcellas read the rules? He may mistakenly believe he is on the lesser-known reality show, Commune! And also: "Gross misuse of power"? She's not a superhero. She hasn't been given a great gift. With great power does not come great responsibility, when that great power is won with speedy button-pushing or trivia contests.
After Diane is gone, Will hugs Erika. "Hug it out, bitch," he says. Heh. It figures he would embrace the Piven. Erika says that she was "pretty sad" about Diane leaving, but then she giggles, "But I got to staaaayyyy!", and she kicks her feet in the air in the DR, which I can appreciate. At least she can admit that her sadness is overwhelmed by her self-interest, as we all should in situations such as this one.
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