Ups and Downs

S15E09

Nighttime date. Jill's all gussied up in a simple little black outfit, slim pants and a tight tank, but it's not nearly as cute as anything she wore in Spain. They have a fancy dinner outdoors. Her favorite part of the day was when he talked her through the leap of faith. She says she's not as strong as she might always seem. She keeps referring to the telephone pole as a totem pole, but in my limited knowledge of totem polls, they typically have designs on them. This pole was just a big hunk of wood with footholds. I know I'm being nitpicky, but if you are going to fill two hours with inane chatter and her saying the word totem pole about 100 times, it's going to get under my skin. Now it's time to pester him with annoying questions. She wants to know if he has any flaws. He claims that he's impatient, and that he's never been fully committed to his previously relationships. Jillian tells him that she trusts him the most of anyone, but she's scared that their relationship might work out as terribly as all of his previously relationships. That's how most dating scenarios play out, Jill. He doesn't want to hurt her, and he feels that she's someone he could spend a lifetime with. She pulls out the Fantasy Suite card from her napkin, like magic. He's all for it, but it's up to her. She's said she didn't like leaving him in Madrid and she doesn't want to pass up another opportunity.

At the hotel, there's champagne and candles and the two of them making out all over the bed. Kiptyn does that coy thing where he closes the doors on the cameras, so they can have alone time. Like we think they are playing Scrabble in there? I don't want to see them doing anything, but they don't have to pretend to be all pure here. We get it. And it is gross. But I watch far worse on television, so I can't really judge.

Date two is Reid. Jill has a special romantic date planned, and it apparently involves a beach ball. She jokes that they are just going to hang out, so he doesn't get distracted, but he doesn't care, he just wants to make out. Aw. So smooth that Reid. He's a total cheeseball. Then a helicopter arrives. It's his first time in one and she's superpsyched about that. He compares their ride to being in heaven. The pilot jokes that he's an ordained minister and could marry them on the spot. Reid looks dumbstruck and then interviews that on the fly marriages are not his style.

They have a picnic near the ocean. She interviews that she could see him at the end of the aisle when she walks down. She bluntly then asks him if she freaked him out talking about marriage. He says that the time frame has been a little rushed for him, so he's out of his comfort zone. This is because he's a rational human being. He then says that he doesn't like her being with other guys. Again, totally makes sense. She wants to know if this was their last date and he had to decide tomorrow, what would he do? Would he profess his love? She expects an answer at dinner. She interviews that she wants to give him time, but she's also on this stupid reality show with time constraints built in, so she doesn't really have the luxury of exploring a lasting relationship with someone, she just needs someone attractive who can propose.