First off, I wanted to give the link to NeNe's charity, Atlanta Mission: My Sister's House, which I couldn't figure out last week. Thanks to astute reader Kathleen for sending it my way. Well, I'm awake now and not even miserable. Let's see how I feel in three hours. Honestly, I'm not sure what NBC's trying to do with a three-hour episode other than fill airtime. Maybe their master plan is to make people so sick of Trump that no one votes for him if he runs for president? Because I can't imagine three hours of this show would help him win.
Anyway, here we go. Previously: NeNe and Star battled, but Hope went home when the ladies lost. And the guys got a new teammate when Trump let La Toya come back. In the suite, everyone tells La Toya how much Trump thinks of her to bring her back. Marlee interviews that it's not fair that La Toya got to come back. NeNe and Star come back then, though. Star isn't in the mood to hang out, so she leaves while NeNe hangs out with everyone. Star interviews that she told NeNe she'd talk, but she has no intention of that. Back in the suite, Marlee asks NeNe what they're going to do now, and NeNe interviews that Star leaving shows just how weak she is. "Come on back and play with the big girls, honey." Ew. "Money, money, money." Remember David Cassidy? Yeah, me neither.
Lil Jon gets to present another check for $40,000 to United Methodist Children's Home, making him the only project manager to win twice. Which is somewhat impressive, actually.
The day, the teams line up in front of Trump. He says he was hoping Star and NeNe could work it out, but he doesn't think that can happen. NeNe doesn't agree, but Star does. So Trump switches NeNe and Meat Loaf. Star interviews that she'd never stoop to NeNe's level, but she worried if they stayed on the same team that NeNe would attempt to bring her there. She sure does talk a lot of nonsense, doesn't she? But now, on to the task: They're going to produce a comedy show. Each team will get three comedians and fifty tickets to sell, which they can sell for as much as they want. It's ultimately going to be about who gets the most total money. His advisers will be Ivanka and Jim Cramer. The newbies -- Meat Loaf and La Toya -- are going to be the project managers. John Rich thinks that with La Toya on their team, fundraising should be excellent, because she's a Jackson and is one phone call away from everyone. The winning team gets the money they all raise. Trump asks Star if she feels better, and she says she does. NeNe, however, does not. She interviews that she's not sure what she's going to do, but she needs some time.
Backbone war room. NeNe's disappeared without telling anyone where she went. They forget about her, though, and start calling in their big guns. La Toya calls Larry King. Lil Jon calls someone and is all, "Money, dollar bills, go, go, go." Then he interviews that the key to success in a fundraising task is raising the most damn money. So far, he has $7,500. Rich says he tapped out most of his big donors on the art show. The one ace left in his hole, he says, is Jimmy Fallon. So he calls him and Jimmy's in. He's happy to do a bit or a song with Rich or something for the comedy show. They are worried that NeNe's not around to call for donors, though, so Rich sings a "NeNe" song to try to conjure her up. "NeNe, NeNe, where the hell'd you go? Guess you don't want to work today with your new team Backbone."
ASAP. They're starting to make calls for money, too. Star Jones knows Tracy Morgan, though, and is going to call him and ask him to help out with their comedy show. Isn't it a coincidence that the comedy people who happen to be willing friends to the folks on this NBC reality show are comedians with NBC contracts? Hmmm. Marlee's also willing to do her own comedy bit, which she calls "Deaf Comedy." Meat Loaf starts making calls trying to get money, which he says is difficult for him because he's not used to asking people for things. It's making him crazy. Jim Cramer comes in then, immediately going all Mad Money on them. Star gets her call back from someone named Kenny, who says they can come over and film Tracy Morgan for a couple minutes. Jim Cramer interviews that ASAP was thinking too small by getting Tracy on a video instead of getting him live and in person. He says he certainly wouldn't have been satisfied with just a video.
Rich tells La Toya he may have a donor who will give $50,000. Lil Jon thinks that's good, but La Toya wants to get a $100,000 donation. She says it's important for her to win now that she's on a new team, because she wants to prove herself. She's counting on someone to give her a big donation. She gets a rejection from her biggest donor, who can't fly out because he's doing a seminar. Ivanka shows up and asks if there's a number they're trying to hit, and La Toya says she wants to get close to what Rich's team raised last time. They point out NeNe's nowhere to be seen, and Ivanka's pretty disappointed. She does think Backbone's working pretty harmoniously without her, however. Lil Jon: "NeNe, NeNe, wherefore art thou, NeNe?" I have to assume he knows what that means and is actually asking why NeNe is NeNe. Because it's a damn good question, really.
Star shows up to shoot a video of Tracy, who she says will be their special comedy guest. She videos him talking about when he used to make fun of her on Saturday Night Live. Tracy says Star's a good friend, so he's doing this to repay her for being a good sport about him portraying her on SNL.
NeNe gets in a cab somewhere in New York when Trump calls her. He tells her he's never called anybody, but he's calling her because he thinks she has great ability and should not quit. She tells him that he accommodated Star when he has seven people left. She's not going to stay and put up with that. He tells her that quitting would be stupid after making it this far. Back in their war room, they keep wondering where she is. Then La Toya gets a text that NeNe quit for good. They're not happy about it. She tells them she can't stay because of Star, and Rich points out to his team that she's let Star win by running her off. Lil Jon thinks it's "not a good look" to go from the losing team to the winning team, and then quit.
Both teams show up at Gotham Comedy Club to audition comedians for their show. Montage of really lame stand-up comedy. There doesn't seem to be any debating about who gets which comedians. They each choose three and take off. Back in the ASAP war room, Meat Loaf's donor calls are starting to come in: $20,000, $25,000, etc. Marlee congratulates him, but he says John Rich scares the hell out of him. Then it dawns on Meat Loaf that if his team loses, all this money he's raising will go to La Toya's charity, which he's sure is a great charity, but it's not his.
Backbone war room. La Toya's calling people, but not letting her team know how much money she's raised, so they don't know what to think. She keeps making calls and asking for money, even though she says it's hard for her. She settles for $1,000 from the Hilton family, which Rich thinks is ridiculous. He says the Jacksons are connected to every major entity on Earth, so she's going to have to call people she's not comfortable calling.
In the ASAP van the morning, Meat Loaf is sobbing beca
use his primary donors were giving money specifically to his charity, Painted Turtle. He says he can't gamble this money, so Star tells him to rely on her. She says she'll fight for them to keep their winnings even if they lose, like they did with the art show. Backbone arrives at their war room trailer the morning and starts collecting donations with their credit card machines. In the ASAP trailer, Star calls Trump and asks if they can keep the money for Meat Loaf's charity even if they lose. Trump tells them that takes away the incentive to win, which is what this show's about. He tells Meat Loaf to think about it this way: If his team wins, he gets even more money for his charity; and he needs to look at his money going to someone else's charity as a good thing too. But Meat Loaf cries some more and says he just won't gamble this money. Does this mean he's going to quit, too? Or at least not include those donations in his winnings?Backbone's trailer. The Jo(h)ns are hitting up their donors again to make sure their money comes in. La Toya's very disappointed with her donors, because she thought she'd bring in a million-dollar donor. Rich has another friend show up and give him $20,000 cash. Then Jimmy Fallon shows up to help out with the comedy show, but he also donates another $10,000. Then he picks up Rich's guitar and starts singing a song about Celebrity Apprentice. It's called, You're Fiyered, [sic] and is actually pretty cute. In ASAP's trailer, Meat Loaf is still crying and Marlee's trying to talk him through it. She tells him he has to change his attitude and try to win. Star tells him to start focusing on the comedy show. Meat Loaf credits Star and Marlee with keeping him going, and now he's starting to feel like he might win.
At the comedy club, Meat Loaf's trying to rehearse introducing the comedians, and it's not great. Marlee interviews that Meat Loaf really showed his weakness today, and there's just no time for that. Backbone's rehearsing their show, too. La Toya's super excited and thinks her team is going to do a fabulous job. People start showing up at the comedy club, including, weirdly, Kevin Kline and Phoebe Cates. Meat Loaf stops crying long enough to come out and introduce the show. Star says she's never seen anyone go from crying and worrying to taking command of the stage. He even throws around some f-bombs, so you know he's commanding it.
Comedy time. No one's funny, but the laughing montage would make you believe otherwise. At the end of their comedy show, Meat Loaf introduces the Tracy Morgan clip, which isn't funny at all. Even Marlee says so. Then it's Marlee's turn to do her bit. It's all about the crazy things that have happened to her because she's deaf, and it's sort of cute. Meat Loaf closes the show by saying his name's Meat Loaf, and it's a lot better than being called "Dick." Or, you know, Marvin. They celebrate themselves after the show, except Meat Loaf, who's still stressing out about losing that money for Painted Turtle.
Backbone's turn. La Toya introduces the show, which is also not funny but there is another laughing audience montage. Okay, there is one funny joke, in which an Italian comic says rappers stole the Italians' schtick, "Gangster" and big ugly gold jewelry. Then Rich introduces Jimmy Fallon. Lil Jon interviews that "it's on like popcorn" (whatever that means) after they introduced Jimmy. Fallon is, of course, funny. ("Have a mimosa, and call up Omarosa.") Although team Backbone stands awkwardly on the stage with him the whole time, and I'm not sure why. But they all sing along, as does the audience. Jimmy Fallon gives them the final thank-you. La Toya interviews that she feels so good about her team, which she hasn't felt before on this show, but she's still worried about whether they raised enough money.
Boardroom time. Only an hour in, which means we must have at least a second task going on. Trump asks Meat Loaf if he's recovered from his phone call, and Meat Loaf starts crying again and says he's not okay. Trump explains to everyone what happened. Jim Cramer's looking at Meat Loaf like he's a wimp. Meat Loaf explains how much he has an emotional attachment to his charity, which they'd all have if they'd been there and seen how it's run. Trump says he called Trump, not because he wanted to quit, and everyone agrees. Then Trump repeats what he told them on the phone: They're about charity, but even more about winning. Meat Loaf says he didn't quit, and he didn't give back any of the donations. He says these two ladies supported him tremendously. Trump asks if he's happy with the switch, and Meat Loaf says that he understands the reason people might not like Star: because they don't work like her. Trump asks Marlee what she thinks of Meat Loaf. She says he's a gem, and is so happy she got to know him, and that having him has changed the dynamic of their team.
Trump asks Jim Cramer what strengths he saw with Meat Loaf's team. Jim Cramer says Meat Loaf was in control, and wanted to make his team look good. Jim Cramer says he wanted to be part of that team. Uh-oh. Please don't put him on the season. Trump says it's time to talk about NeNe. He says the fact is she quit, gave in, gave up, which has happened a couple of times on the Apprentice franchise. He says those people have always called and told him it's their biggest mistake ever, because everyone calls them a loser and a quitter. So he says "You're fired" to NeNe, even though she's not there. He tells her that Star Jones kicked her ass, whether she likes it or not. Puppemaster Star nods approvingly. Ivanka says it's a shame that Hope lost the opportunity to be here because they saw something in NeNe. Trump says the word "potential" doesn't mean shit, because he's been hearing about it all his life and it usually means someone who isn't performing. But Trump thinks it's fine, and the way life is.
Trump asks La Toya how her team did. She says they did great, and both of the Jo(h)ns were stars. She says Lil Jon brought in money and performed. Trump asks who brought in Jimmy Fallon, and La Toya credits Rich. They all praise Jimmy Fallon. Trump asks Lil Jon how La Toya did as project manager. He says she did very well. She came in and delegated and led the team. Trump says that he didn't know much about her starting this show, but she's definitely earned respect from him. The Jo(h)ns agree that La Toya's awesome, and that the word "backbone" is appropriate for her because she's got a lot of fight. Trump says she's smart, like her brother, which a lot of people didn't realize about her brother, but which Trump knew "better than anybody." Better than anybody? Trump and his superlatives. Good God. Trump asks how it was without Meat Loaf. Rich says they missed him, since the three guys bonded so much working together all of these weeks. Trump says that if Backbone wins, they're going to devastate their friend, Meat Loaf. He asks Rich if he thinks they beat him. Rich says it was hard to say on the third fundraising challenge, but he thinks they have a competitive number. Trump agrees.
Then he asks Ivanka how La Toya did. She says La Toya was enthused and energetic to be back. He asks if she was impressed with the Jo(h)ns, and Ivanka says she always is. Trump agrees they're impressive, and Meat Loaf chimes in, in agreement. Trump teases Lil Jon they're going to ruin his reputation, then tells Cramer that Lil Jon's teeth are worth "a freaking fortune." John Rich then tells Meat Loaf that, as his friend, he promises he'll match whatever Meat Loaf raised, personally, if Meat Loaf loses so that his charity won't lose any of that money. That's how much he thinks of Meat Loaf, who -- of course -- starts crying as he and Rich grab hands across the table. I never thought I'd feel this way in my life, but how can a person not like a guy like John Rich? That is a sweet, sweet gesture, and not a s
mall one either. He has to know he might be paying close to what his team made if Meat Loaf's team lost, which he just said is a "competitive number." So it's certainly not nothing. Ivanka looks very touched, too, as does everyone else. Except Jim Cramer, who doesn't seem to have any facial expressions other than crazed and dazed. Meat Loaf thanks Trump for introducing him to people like John Rich and these ladies. Trump says the world is gonna love Meat Loaf. Apparently we hated him before.Time to find out who won the game. Meat Loaf's team raised $102,080. La Toya's team made $82,500. Meat Loaf bursts into tears, which Trump loves so much, apparently, he calls it "fantastic" twice. Meat Loaf thanks Trump, then apologizes to La Toya, who says it's okay. Trump says he doesn't root and is impersonal, but he was sort of pulling for Meat Loaf here, because of how much his heart was into it. He sends them back to the suite to watch the firing on television. So, Backbone's going to lose two people in one task, which is a little bit unfair. Basically, they didn't really get anyone back for losing Jose, like Trump said last week when he let La Toya come back.
Back in the suite, Meat Loaf calls his wife and cries to her about winning $190,000. He says this -- along with having his children -- was one of the three best moments in his life. Back in the boardroom, Trump says there are no losers, but what happened here? La Toya says she thinks people were just tapped out, and Trump agrees that Rich couldn't be expected to get many donors after raising $600,000 in one evening. Rich agrees, but points out he brought in more money than anyone else on the team. Trump asks about Lil Jon, and La Toya says he did well, too. So Trump asks who he should fire. She says, honestly, she can't say anything bad about either of these guys, who were wonderful and followed every instruction. Trump asks who was better? She says they were both equal and she can't choose. Trump asks Lil Jon who he would fire, and he says it has to fall on the project manager or the person who raised the least money. Trump tells La Toya he let her come back on and he knows she wants to stay. He blathers on about how great and smart and how much of a champion she is. He says she set one more record, though, in that she'll be fired twice. He fires her again. On the way out, the Jo(h)ns hug La Toya and tell her how great it was to work with her. She interviews after that being on the show was one of the best experiences and she loved it. She says she looks at it as only one firing because the other one didn't count. Then she dresses like Michael and leaves as the show plays vaguely Michael Jackson music.
In the suite, Star's preparing drinks for the boys when they return. They all toast to Painted Turtle. Rich says he's in the final five, but anyone who gets in the way of him raising money for St. Jude is the enemy. Lil Jon basically says the same thing. They all talk about how great Meat Loaf is. Star interviews that she believes you need to play with respect and politeness, "but do not mistake kindness for weakness." She says the game becomes more about individual competition now, which is when you go in for the kill.
The morning, I presume, Trump and some henchmen greet the lined-up contestants. Trump says two of these folks are Chris and Sam, the heads of OnStar. Chris, OnStar president, explains that OnStar's gold-plated safety and security -- previously available only on new vehicles -- will now be available to add to any vehicle through Best Buy. Their task is to create a video advertising this new product. Sam, OnStar marketing chief, says they'll judge the videos on creativity and originally, product integration, and brand messaging. Don and George will be Trump's advisers. Rich is going to be project manager again, because it will make him the only person to lead three times. Marlee volunteers to lead her team. Don points out that it's a rematch. Rich says he's raised more money than anyone in the history of this show other than Marlee, who he's up against now. The winning charity will get $20,000, plus another $20,000 from OnStar, for their charity. And someone will be fired, leaving the final four.
Backbone meets with Chris and Sam in the OnStar Mobile Command Center. Chris shows them their latest campaign, which uses words in front of the word "on." They tell them that 99.7 percent of calls are answered within one second. Rich tells them the new discovery about OnStar is that you can put it in your 1995 minivan, and they agree. ASAP's up . They show them a map of their interactions. Marlee says her husband's a police officer and wonders if they work with police. Chris says they're very tied to the first-responder community. Meat Loaf asks if you can install it to bicycles. Crickets. And... no, you cannot. Star asks what the message is, and they tell them it's that you can add it to vehicles you could not previously have it in.
Backbone arrives at their commercial studio, and Lil Jon notices a big white "cyc," which is a big white wall. He wants to use it like the Mac and PC commercials. Rich is working on a script as Lil Jon works on the lights and camera stuff, which Rich knows very little about. Rich is feeling dizzy from some sort of crazy sinus infection, like he has a knife in his head. He starts to read to Lil Jon what he has, but Lil Jon thinks it's too much information. Rich starts swearing because he can't even write with how bad he's feeling right now. Lil Jon's feeling the pressure right now, with his only teammate not feeling great. Rich wonders if he can find a quiet place instead of this noisy room, and takes off.
ASAP shows up and finds a similar white cyc. Meat Loaf's apparently the director of the commercial, which surprises Star. Meat Loaf's commercial is sort of convoluted and crazy, but Marlee decides to take the risk and go with it. The commercial director says this is pretty ambitious in the time they have, but Meat Loaf says he knows what he's doing. The guy says they'll do it.
Backbone. Rich is still feeling like hell with the pounding going on all around him. Rich powers through it for St. Jude. He comes up with something about discovering OnStar. Lil Jon thinks they should use "Discover On." They come up with the line: "Discover OnStar and upgrade your life. Discover On." Now it's time to shoot the commercial. Rich says they have a concept with three vignettes: soccer mom, college kid, and the star power of Lil Jon himself.
ASAP. Star's worried about the fact that there's no script. Meat Loaf says he plans to improv it. But Star wants the beats to the entire ninety seconds. Meat Loaf thinks she's procrastinating, since he's in charge of only the vignettes and she's in charge of brand messaging. So the script was supposed to come from her, not from him. Meat Loaf interviews that he started to wonder if Star's doing this on purpose, taking all this time. Star tells him he can interview if he wants, but she doesn't work like that and it won't work for her.
Backbone. Lil Jon wants to do some big special effect, so he wants the car to fall into the frame. He also wants the college kid to push the vignette away, but the director thinks that's not possible without a green screen.
ASAP. Star's still grilling Meat Loaf, who wants her to shut the hell up. Star says she wishes Marlee had taken the lead more, but she's totally acquiesced to Meat Loaf. The commercial director is ready to go, so Star says she's going to go along with it. Star giggles through the first take. Then calls OnStar "All Star" in the second one. Marlee asks if they want cue cards or something, and she does. Marlee says Star had a tough time memorizing her scenes, so it ended up taking forever. She screws up another take and stops again. Meat Loaf tells her just to keep going. He interviews that he started thinki
ng Star was going to lay this failure on him if they lose, but he's not going down without a fight. She tries again, but her brain is fried. She finally gets it, just as Don shows up. Marlee asks him if he wants to watch the monitor and he does. Don says he saw more tension than he thought this team had. But Meat Loaf and Marlee write it off as their different brains. Star finishes and then they shoot their vignettes, which include a police officer finding Marlee's stolen car, then the cop wanting to find a donut shop. They use OnStar for all of it, of course. Then they end up at a donut shop, where OnStar operator Star shows up, too.Marlee thinks maybe she let Meat Loaf have too much control. Star says this creative isn't her style, and Meat Loaf is vulnerable since he took on so much creative responsibility. Marlee wants a final shot of the product, but Star tells them they don't need it, since they have it on the disc. Star wants them to get going to the edit. The team takes the elevator, but Jack takes the stairs. Sort of weird.
Backbone. Lil Jon feels like they're the Men in Black as they walk toward their edit bay. Rich thinks the other team got too complicated and is falling behind. They're not even in their edit bay yet, with only two hours to finish editing. They're stuck in traffic, where there's a fire. They get out to walk to the edit bay, and Meat Loaf starts running.
Back at the edit bays, the Jo(h)ns are doing great. Lil Jon says they're going to have an extra hour to go to the strip club after this; they're not even going to need all their time. He feels really proud of their team. Until they get to the car dropping in, and they can't get the footage to line up. Rich thinks doing special effects like this is eating up too much time.
ASAP's in their editing bay now, too. Star sits back and lets Marlee and Meat Loaf put the commercial together. She says it if works, bravo for them; if it doesn't, it's on them because she doesn't know much about putting a video together. She says her strength is in brand messaging and product integration. She wants to take the shot of the product out at the end and put a voiceover on the end instead. Meat Loaf wants to argue, but he says the product stuff is Star's so he kept his mouth shut.
Backbone. They're still trying to drop down the car, so the editor is trying to come up with another way to make this work. Rich is worried about time, which is ticking away. He says if they don't get the edit done in time, they don't have a commercial. Rich tells the editor no pressure or anything, but hurry the hell up. Lil Jon says he's worried because creative is on him. They have three minutes to go, and still can't get the car to drop down other than dropping down right on top of the soccer mom. Uh-oh.
Best Buy. It's time for ASAP's presentation to Chris and Sam. Marlee acknowledges the commercial was a risk without a script. She thinks it's creative and original, and hopes they make the executives happy in the end. Star and Marlee simultaneously introduce the commercial. The executives don't seem to think the cop going to the donut shop is very funny. At the end, there's a faint smile, but it's hard to tell if they like it or are just smiling uncomfortably. Meat Loaf thinks they delivered creative and out-of-the-box thinking that the Jo(h)ns can't compete with.
I guess we'll see. It's Backbone's turn. Rich says they could have done it better with another two hours, but he thinks it's creative and original. Their introduction is all about how much they love this new product. Rich says his Granny Rich is going to definitely get one in her Cadillac. They tell them about the "Discover On" concept and then show the commercial. It's not as hokey as Meat Loaf as a donut-loving cop, so I think they've got this one. Rich says they delivered, but it depends on if this is what the executives want. He says he knows it comes back on him if they don't win.
Trump greets Chris and Sam, who say that ASAP had the most ambitious plan, but was a little soft on brand messaging. They also don't like that police are the butt of the joke. For the other team, they were happy about Lil Jon, although they think he might have been a little too over-the-top. They like that Backbone really sold the concept, but they had one big mistake, which was that the woman driving wasn't wearing a seat belt, which makes the commercial basically unusable for them. Trump agrees it's a big mistake. So, Trump asks, who's the winner? But you know they won't let us hear the answer yet.
Boardroom time, with about a half-hour to go in this marathon. Trump asks Rich how he did. Rich says his team did very well, and absolutely nailed the criteria they were going to be judged on. Lil Jon agrees. Trump asks who was the star of the team, and Lil Jon says both of them were. He says Rich did the pitch, and he did the commercial. Trump asks Rich how Lil Jon did, and Rich say she was incredible and invaluable, picking up the slack when Rich was sick and struggling. Trump asks, "So a hip-hop guy and a country guy get along?" Lil Jon says very well, and Rich says he wants to comment on one thing. He says that the stereotypical way he's looked at with a cowboy hat is similar to how Lil Jon's stereotyped. He says he appreciates that this show was able to bring them, and maybe their fan bases, together.
Trump moves on to tell Meat Loaf how great he looks -- rested, relaxed. Then he adds that he's not gay. "I think gayness is wonderful, frankly, but I'm not a gay man." Oh, dear Lord. "Gayness"? Trump asks Meat Loaf how he got so much better looking. Meat Loaf says that Celebrity Apprentice is a terrific exercise and weight-loss program. Trump asks what Meat Loaf did for the task, and he says he set up the vignettes. Trump wonders why Marlee didn't do that, so she jumps in and says she decided Star would do brand messaging and Meat Loaf would do creative. Trump asks if Meat Loaf is more creative than Star, and Marlee says Star's great in front of the camera, but behind it there's a different role for her. Trump shows their commercial. And we get to basically watch it for a third time. Because they had THREE HOURS to fill.
Trump asks Rich what he thought, and Rich points out they missed the main point, which is that OnStar is now available at your local electronics retailer. He says the objective of this task was to let people know they can buy it. Marlee says she heard it at the end of the commercial, but Rich says he would have put it in both places. Now it's time to watch the men's video. Again. The soccer mom's still not wearing a seat belt. Trump asks Meat Loaf what he thinks of their video. He likes it a lot. Marlee says it's for a different audience. She says she respects their work. He asks if she likes it more than theirs. She doesn't feel like it's as personal. They all enjoyed it, but not more than theirs. Trump says he thinks Rich likes his own video better, but everyone on ASAP sort of sees it as a tie.
Trump asks Don what the executives thought of ASAP's commercial. They liked the concept and characters, but not the donut shop plot. And they didn't like that they didn't talk about how you can get the product in all vehicles now. Trump asks George what they thought of Backbone's. He says their enthusiasm for the product showed through, and it was a good showcase of the OnStar box, unlike the other commercial. They thought Lil Jon's acting was a little over-the-top, though, and they hated seeing the woman not wearing a seat belt in a video about a safety product. Trump thinks it's interesting that ASAP loved Backbone's video and Backbone didn't like ASAP's. He says the executives agreed, and gave it to Backbone. So Rich gets another $40,000 for St. Jude, and his second win. Now both members of Backbone have won twice, and no one else has. A commercial teases that John Rich knew who had to have this new OnStar product, and you can find out on OnStar's Facebook page.
The Jo(h)ns head back to the suite, which they have labeled "The Jonz." Well, their spelling isn't as good as mine, but I still approve. They're both so happy the Jonz are in the final four. Rich says Meat Loaf is going to have to fight, fight, fight, and they tune in to watch. Trump asks Marlee what happened, and she says Meat Loaf has a different style than what she and Star were used to. Trump says to Meat Loaf that he wasn't the project manager, but it sounds like he took control of the team. He says he took control of some of the vignettes. Don asks about the negative stereotype of police in a donut shop, and Meat Loaf says he thought it was funny, not negative. Star jumps in and says she thought Meat Loaf was willing to take responsibility. Don interrupts and asks who did product integration, which sucked. He says the other team showed the mirror, the box, etc., but their team showed nothing. No one will say it was Star's responsibility. Star says it wasn't her responsibility to get a shot of the box.
Trump asks Marlee who she'd fire. She says she'd fire Meat Loaf, because his working style threw them a bit off-kilter. Trump says that she could have stopped the off-kilter. She agrees, and says they tried. Trump asks Star, who would also fire Meat Loaf, because the executives didn't like the vignettes. The Jo(h)ns cheer for Meat Loaf to start fighting. Trump asks Meat Loaf who he'd fire. Meat Loaf says he sort of took over, but he always deferred to Marlee. Meat Loaf says that he knows Trump likes Star, but she is the one who was supposed to do product placement and branding. She says it was her job to do that, but not to select the shots. She says she's absolutely shocked at that, but George says she was in charge of the script. And Don says she was in charge of branding. She says the only reason they had the scene at the end of the video was because she insisted on it. Marlee agrees. Meat Loaf says he's not arguing that point, but there should have been a shot of the box. Star tells him to tell the truth: that he actually had a shot of the box and chose not to include it. He says he's not going to say that because it's not what happened. She asks why he didn't use that shot. George asks why they didn't use the shot of the box early on. Meat Loaf says the ladies chose to open with Star. Trump sends them out.
In the lobby, Star keeps pushing on the shot. Meat Loaf calls her "sweetie," which pisses her off. Then he says that she's the one who insisted the shot of the box was on the disc. She tries to shut Meat Loaf up by saying "Case closed." He says it's not, but she says it is to her. She treats him like a child, telling him to bring his voice down or she won't talk to him. She walks away and pretends to ignore him as he tells the truth and she lies. He says he thought she was a lawyer and willing to debate with any person, but she says you have to come to her with her credentials to get to debate with her. Then she says "Enough!" twice, and he calls her "young woman" and says she can't cut him off. It's 'bout to get ugly, y'all. After a commercial, they're still arguing. She says she doesn't owe him an argument and declines to give him one. In the boardroom, Trump asks who he should fire. Don says he could find cause to fire each of them. George says he'd fire Star because she should have had the OnStar branding right at the beginning.
Trump calls them back in and glares at them. He asks Meat Loaf what was going on in the lobby. Meat Loaf says he was arguing with Star, and she says he was arguing but not with her because she wouldn't do it. Meat Loaf says that she did the logo at the end instead of the box, and Trump asks who did the script. She says there wasn't one, so George points out the voiceovers she did. Meat Loaf says Star did that, which is when Star says she must tell them something to make sure "we're all clear on the sequence of events." She says there was never a script, even though she begged Meat Loaf to lay down his ideas with her. Marlee says that Meat Loaf wanted to work improvisationally. Trump says she's the project manager. She says he didn't want a script, and Don says that's the creative process and Meat Loaf's creative. Plus, if she wanted to stop it, she could have. She says he told her to trust him.
Trump wants to get back to the argument in the lobby, and Star says Meat Loaf called her "dear" and "honey." Trump thinks this is politically correct crap. Marlee corrects that he called her "sweetie," and Meat Loaf says he was trying to be calm. Star says it diminishes a professional woman in an argument to be called that, and Marlee nods in agreement. Trump asks if, over the years, she hasn't been called worse than sweetie. She says yes, but not in the middle of a debate, where she needs to be treated as an equal. I think it's funny that she's insisting on being treated as an equal when she is the one who told him he needs to come to her with credentials such as hers to be allowed to debate with her. I think that's a little more condescending than his "Sweetie," which was said way before he got heated. George asks Star how she can say it's a debate when she didn't argue. She says she wouldn't argue with him because he got loud and angry. Trump gets fixated on the "Sweetie" thing and points out that she shouldn't be crazy about this, because everyone gets along with Meat Loaf, and no one's really been able to get along with her. She starts backing off. Trump asks if Meat Loaf thinks it was horrible to call her "Sweetie." Meat Loaf says it wasn't bad; he was trying to be nice and wasn't angry then. He says he even called Trump "Dear" once. Trump says he likes Meat Loaf's passion, and doesn't Star? She says she does.
Trump asks one more time: Who was in charge of branding? Trump says that was the problem. She says she couldn't tell Meat Loaf what to put in the video. She keeps talking over Don and Trump, but he finally tells her he fully understands what she's saying but the OnStar executives didn't like the branding, and so she's fired. Marlee gasps a couple seconds later, which is I guess when Jack translated the message. Star hugs everyone and says goodbye. In the boardroom, Trump says that wasn't easy but he thinks it was the right thing. NeNe's going to be so pissed she didn't stick around for this! Star exits the building in a different dress and different hairdo.
In her taxicab confession, she says no one likes to be fired and she's now been fired by two of her mentors (the other being Barbara Walters) from roles on television. She says she understands, though, and should have stepped in and said it's not going right. She says the first time she decided not to take control, she ended up on the chopping block. "Lesson learned." I guess the lesson is to be even more of a control freak? That can't be good for anyone who comes into contact with her again ever.
week: Before the task begins, Trump tells them he's going to fire two more people before the task. So it's time to bring in the past three winners to interview the four remaining folks and cut them down to two. That's right. That means Piers! Joan! Bret! And then Trump will fire two (my guess is Lil Jon and Meat Loaf will be fired, but I'd rather it be Marlee and Meat Loaf; I want an all Jo(h)ns finale) and the final task will begin.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, can't believe how quickly we're going from seven contestants to two. Not that I'm complaining. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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