Previously on Angel...oh good grief, we're back to explaining who Cary is, now? Cordelia suggested we imagine what might have happened if Angel had sex with Darla. If you imagined he'd break some more doors, you're right. Angel said he'd have to kill Darla the time he saw her. A shaman told Darla that "this is not meant to be," which just shows the kind of nasty bigotry some people have against unwed vampires having babies. And Darla decided to "visit Daddy," forcing thousands of viewers to rush headlong into denial.
It's 1771 in Rome. A rat scurries about in a sewer system that bears a startling resemblance to the one under Los Angeles. Angel runs past, and then stops as he sees robed figures carrying torches. He tries a different way, is trapped again, and finally pulls a grating open. His hair is pulled back tidily, instantly making this the best flashback ever. Once in the new tunnel, Angel neatly puts the grating back to discourage pursuit, and promptly trips and tumbles down the inclined tunnel, crashing out into a room of some kind. Ha! Definitely the best flashback ever. Several men aim crossbows at Angel, and he backs away. Then doors are opened and light blazes in, so I guess we're not underground at all. This is just a building that's been built with round hallways. And gratings instead of doors. Maybe it's in the side of a hill? Holtz gallops inside. Well, the horse he's riding gallops inside. It also rears dramatically to show the high ceiling, before Holtz dismounts. He's wearing tinted glasses, because he's cool like that. The horse is then led back outside, so Holtz really was just determined to make a dramatic entrance. Holtz walks over to the part of the room Angel and his captors are in, which has a much lower ceiling. Ancient Roman architects were clearly demented. That'll teach them to use lead cooking utensils. Holtz and a red-robed Monsignor have a subtitled chat for the purpose of reminding us that Darla and Angel murdered Holtz's family. Then Holtz reminds Angel of the same thing in English. Oh, fun trivia fact: Mrs. Holtz's first name was Caroline. Meanwhile, minions have wrapped a chain around Angel, binding his arms to his torso. And leaving his legs free, because it's not like he might run or kick. Holtz tells Angel that the Monsignor was excommunicated, adding, "the order he belongs to, Inquistori, adheres to the old beliefs." You know times are tough when they start laying off monks. Or is that laity-ing off? Sorry. Holtz cheerfully notes that the ex-monks still enjoy a good torturing, and says, "Let's get started, shall we?" He picks up a big poker-looking thing with a curved tip, and moves it toward Angel's neck. Angel screams as the camera discreetly turns away.
Time passes, Angel screams some more, and I decide that I really like Holtz. He tortured Angel! Plus, Keith Szarabajka is cool, and I love his delivery. He's kind of like Gunn that way, actually. And they get almost the same amount of screen time! Anyway, Angel gasps and moans off-screen while Holtz takes a break. The Monsignor is chanting in the background, which may or may not be the cause of Angel's screams. Holtz finishes his drink and says, "You lost me in North Africa. I knew you'd come back to Europe, but Rome, Angelus? Why in God's name would you come to the seat of all that's holy?" I'm not sure it's wise to take the lord's name like that when there are sadistic ex-monks around. Holtz walks over to Angel, whose hands are bound to something unseen on the ceiling. He's looking a bit scruffier. Actually, they both are. Angel explains that Darla came to see Botticelli's frescoes in the Sistine Chapel. He adds, "The Temptation of Christ is her favorite, probably because of the leper." Or maybe because of the idea that sin is cleansed with blood. If you'd like to see the leper, you can check the fresco out here, although be warned, it's kind of like playing the Reformation version of Where's Waldo?. Holtz picks up a new torture implement, and Angel asks what Holtz wants. Holtz says that he wants to find Darla, but wouldn't believe any information he got from Angel. He says, "The only thing I want to discover is if a thing such as yourself can be made to pay for its sins." He punctuates his words with a nasty off-screen jab, and continues, "You're a demon. It is your nature to maim and kill. But you were also once a man. If we beat and burn the demon out of your living flesh, will there be anything left?"
Holtz goes on like that, and is finally interrupted when a flaming arrow flies into one of the monks. Darla and a gang of hench-vamps are standing by one of the mysterious tunnels. Darla apologizes to Angel for taking so long, and for a nightmarish second I worry that she's going to explain, "Traffic was a bitch." Luckily, she just tells the hench-vamps to kill everyone. Holtz takes a flaming arrow to the chest, and the vamps make merry with the monks. In the beating and killing sense, mostly. There are even a couple of female vampires trading blows, which is nice. The Monsignor starts making with the Latin, and Darla casually tosses him into a wall as she goes to unchain Angel. The door is pulled open, and a horse-drawn cart is driven in by a vampire under a blanket. They toss Angel onto the cart as Holtz struggles toward a weapon. Just as he picks it up, Darla clubs him, and then hops into the cart herself. Angel asks whether maybe they should kill Holtz. Darla cheerfully explains, "It's just so much fun ruining his life. He's like family now." They kiss, and the hench-vamps mercifully throw a blanket over the pair as the cart is driven back outside. I'm not sure I like Darla coming to rescue Angel. Yeah, it's just so we get all of the relationships established at once, but six years earlier she did hit Angel over the head with a shovel rather than face Holtz with him. Oh well.
We travel by blipvert to modern L.A. A bus pulls up on a deserted street. I can't spot the "Baby from Hell on board" sign, but I'm sure it's there somewhere. Darla tells the driver to let her out, and thanks him for the ride. After she gets off the bus, we pan back and see that the bus contains at least three dead passengers, and a few frightened living ones cowering in the back. The driver pulls out his radio and announces a "code 12" as Darla calmly walks away down the street. I didn't know there was a special code for getting hijacked by a pregnant vampire. Really nice music during this bit, by the way. Plus, I appreciate the fact that we've just been given a nice reminder that Darla is...y'know, evil. Insert credits here.
Cordelia is arranging fake flowers in various spots of the basement. Or now, I guess, the "training room." She explains to Angel that she wanted to brighten the place up. Then she starts nattering about foregoing the two hundred-odd candles on his birthday cake. Meanwhile, Angel tells her, "I've been around a long time, and I've never met anyone like you." I can't describe his expression except to say that it reminds me of William Shatner for some reason. Bleah. Then there's innuendo, bleah again, and finally Angel starts giving Cordy a lesson in fisticuffs. They spar a bit, and Cordy accidentally whaps Angel in the nose when he's advising her on her footwork. Cordy apologizes, and Angel insists that she can't hurt him. Then he turns his back to her for a second and winces in pain. Not the funniest bit I've ever seen, but it wasn't misdirection, so I really can't complain. Cordy expositions that Angel is distracted because of the latest apocalyptic prophecy. No, you didn't miss an episode; we're just getting dropped into the story already in progress. And I'm not complaining about that, either. I like that. I don't like Cordy's t-shirt, but that's because I can't figure out what the logo on it is meant to be. Angel sums up the series by noting, "Someone is always uncovering some ancient scroll, and they're always saying that something terrible is coming." He assures her that there's nothing to worry about. Cordy asks why Gunn and Wesley have gone to commit burglary. Angel insists, "They're simply retrieving some missing pieces from the Nyazian Scroll, just to make sure --" "That the end is coming," Cordy finishes. Angel wonders, "Am I swelling?" and he means his nose, but I still shudder.
A richly appointed home contains various paintings that I'm sure are in museums. So the owner collects forgeries? Okay. Wesley and Gunn appear at a window. Wesley plays around with various James Bond gadgets to check the security system. Long after we've all guessed the punchline, Gunn walks over to a nearby door and opens it. It's still not misdirection. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts. They enter the house.
Wesley and Gunn step into a large room crammed with various arcane objects, including demon heads under glass. Gunn is startled by a one-eyed beastie's head, and comments, "It's like the eye follows you wherever you go." I figured that the heads are the security system, but that wasn't confirmed. Wesley goes over to a flask on a pedestal, opens it, and sniffs the contents. Opening bottles of magical substances and then inhaling the unidentified contents doesn't seem particularly smart to me, but then, it is Wesley we're talking about. Wesley wonders where the fragments of the Nyazian scroll might be, and Gunn guesses that they're in the small vault in the room's wall. Wesley isn't happy about trying to open a vault. Gunn says, "I've got a bad feeling about this." Wesley says they'll figure something out, and then Gunn clarifies that he's more concerned about the armed gentleman standing behind Wesley. The white-haired gent keeps his gun trained on them as he picks up a phone. Wesley asks whether he's calling the police. The homeowner says that he is, and Wesley says, "Good, you can explain to them why you keep so much GHB on hand. You know -- Rohypnol, the date-rape drug." He explains that the "Muselok trancing amalgam" in the flask is virtually indistinguishable from GHB. Maybe "trancing" is what the kids are calling it now. The homeowner hangs up the phone and agrees, "I won't call the police...until after I kill you." Wesley's plan isn't working out the way he hoped. Meanwhile, Gunn picks up some pretty red crystal balls that rest in a nearby bowl. Gunn asks whether the balls are expensive, and the homeowner gasps and nervously admits that they are. Gunn starts juggling the balls. I love Gunn. Gunn orders the homeowner to put his gun down, and lets one of the balls fall to the floor, where it shatters. The homeowner puts his fist to his mouth and bites his knuckle to express tension. He went to the school of acting clichés. Gunn resumes juggling, and explains that they just need to see the Nyazian scroll. The homeowner finally puts down his gun; Wesley grabs it, and then Gunn bounces one of the balls off his foot before catching all three remaining balls. "Always give 'em a big finish," he explains.
Angel and Cordy have an innuendo-ish conversation in the basement about unnatural kinds of bending as Fred sneaks down the stairs. Angel is, of course, just teaching Cordy another fighting move. He stands behind her, and she spins and kicks up at his head. Yowch. No matter what she says, she's pretty darn bendy. They decide to call it a day, and Cordy heads up the stairs. Fred greets her by saying, "Hey, kye-rumption." Cordy dismisses that and leaves. Angel asks what "kye-rumption" means, and Fred says it's the only nice Pylean word she remembers. "It's when two great heroes meet on a field of battle and recognize their mutual fate." She insists that watching Angel and Cordy spar makes her think of kye-rumption, despite the distinct lack of a battlefield. Angel is confused by that, for no particular reason. Except that he's Angel. Fred yammers about what a hero Cordy is, and says, "It's only natural that you and she would be drawn to one another." Then she spots the flowers and exclaims, "Oh, plastic flowers! My favorite!" Could we ease up on Fred's gratuitous weirdness, please? Angel chuckles and says there's nothing between him and Cordy. "Nothing but moira," Fred replies. You see, moira is "the gut physical attraction between two larger-than-life souls." I thought that Angel's response would be, "'Larger-than-life'? Are you saying I'm fat?" I'm batting zero here so far. But doesn't it seem as if Fred remembers at least two nice words from Pylea? She's a big liar. Angel insists that he and Cordelia are just friends, and Fred says he's being chivalrous because of the kye-rumption. Angel snaps, "Stop using that word!" Wesley intrudes to ask what's going on, and comments, "Fred's been through enough recently without people shouting at her." Shut up, Wesley. He explains that he and Gunn are looking at the Nyazian scroll, and they need Fred's help with the math. With the math? How many computers do these people have, and they need Fred to do calculations? Yeah, she's useful. Fred scampers upstairs, and Wesley asks Angel who gave him all the flowers. "Nobody!" Angel blurts.
Gunn practices throwing darts while Fred does math. On the Apple laptop. She talks about the number of days in various ancient calendars while Angel wanders in and eyes Cordy. His expressions go something like this: contemplative; curious; extremely dubious. Gunn asks whether the scroll is warning them about a bad event, or a bad guy. Wesley isn't sure: "It predicts the arrival, or arriving, of the Tro-clon -- the person or being that brings about the ruination of mankind." He adds that what he's translated as "ruination" may actually mean "purification." This leads to a little chat about that problem Wesley had translating "shanshu." Angel eavesdrops as Fred wonders what they'd do if Angel became human. Cordy says that she'd buy him plaid shirts and take him to the beach. "The boy needs some color," she explains, and Angel winces. I'm not sure whether he's mentally adding "She thinks I'm pale" to his list of Cordy-critiques, or if he's horrified by the thought of wearing plaid. Johanna suggests that Cordy wants Angel to dress like Xander. Eek. Fred finishes typing and nervously announces that "this bad thing should already be here. Well, I guess not right here, but here in L.A." She starts to recalculate the dates again.
Angel strolls up to the front desk and leans against it, pretending to read a book, but really just looking at Cordy. She asks why he's staring at her, and he says, "No reason." He keeps staring; she finally gets up and announces, "It's getting creepy now," and pours herself some coffee. Angel says he was thinking about how people relate. He notes the many differences between the two of them: "Human, vampire. Woman, man...pire." Cordy asks whether someone spiked his blood with vodka, and Angel fakes exuberant laughter at her quip. Finally, Cordy asks whether he's trying to tell her that he loves her. Angel freezes and asks, "What?" She sips her coffee and calmly announces that she loves him too. Angel stammers, "You do? When did this --" Cordy calls out to the others, "Angel loves me, and I love him." Angel gasps, "Oh, my God." Cordy looks at him, puzzled, and continues, "You guys love us and we love you." Off-screen, Gunn, Wesley, and Fred call out, "We love you, Angel!" Bwa! Again, I note that Gunn sure got over his contrived issues with Angel. Fine. Cordy explains, "They were all saying it earlier, just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die." Angel swallows his confusion. Cordy asks, "You're not gonna want a hug, are you?" Angel leans back uncomfortably and shakes his head. Cordy sits down, and they both declare that they've been through a lot together. They bond a bit, and Cordy finally says, "What are friends for?" From the doorway, Darla answers, "[If] you ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry." She drops her suitcase and greets Angel: "Hello, lover. Long time, no see." She has a suitcase? I wonder if it's full of knitting. Baby booties, sized for teeny little cloven hooves.
Everyone gapes at Darla. Except Fred, who asks who Darla is. Gunn explains that she's an ex-girlfriend of Angel's. "Not the one who died?" Fred wonders. Gunn answers, "Yeah. No. Not that one -- the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire." Fred asks whether there's a chart to help her follow all of this, and Gunn says, "In the files. I'll get it for you later." Heh. Cordy asks Angel whether he lied when he said he wouldn't have sex with Darla. Angel is too busy being boggled to answer. Cordy repeats her question, and Angel says that vampires can't have children. Wesley backs him up. Fred wonders whether this is the bad thing the scroll warned them about. Darla advances on Angel and asks, "What did you do to me?" Then she punches him. Cordy steps between the two of them, and when Angel insists he's okay, Cordy says, "You'll hurt her! Haven't you done enough?" Cordy helps Darla to the sofa and starts tending her while everyone wonders who stole Cordy's brain. She's hurt, she feels betrayed, she's embracing her "Billy"-induced girl-power, whatever. I must have missed the episode where she had a lobotomy. Cordy reminds Angel that he swore he would never sleep with Darla. Darla snarks, "Oh, he lied? What a surprise." Fred brings Darla some water, and I chant, "Kill her, Darla, bite her, she's just a tiny morsel, gobble her up!" She doesn't, though. Angel apologizes to Cordy and explains, "It was a very dark time." Cordy snaps, "Oh, you used her to make you feel better during your dark time. Well, that makes it all heroic." Angel justifies himself by saying that he didn't turn evil, and Cordy gripes, "You just went male." Maybe if Cordy had been dating in one of the interminable episodes earlier this season, and it hadn't worked out, her attitude here would at least be understandable. Darla explains that she's seen "every seer and shaman in the Western Hemisphere," and nobody can explain it. Angel says something dumb, then Cordy asks how they can help Darla. Cordy's gone 'round the bend, folks. Darla says, "You can get your little gang of supernatural detectives to find out what the hell's happening to me, and how to stop it." Cordy asks Angel whether he's going to take responsibility for the situation, and Angel blinks for a second and then asks Wesley to start researching. Wesley picks a random volume up from the desk, opens it, and says, "Here it is! It says, 'I have absolutely no idea what's going on.'" Join the club. The best part of that bit is that Angel hurries over to read over Wesley's shoulder, and looks very smug until Wesley's words penetrate his skull. Then Wesley suggests that they visit Cary.
Cary is in the midst of redecorating Caritas. So I guess he got over his doldrums from two weeks ago. I guess they've decided that character exploration is best left off-screen. Based on their recent attempts at it, I'm not sure they're wrong. The Transuding Furies float about, redoing their non-violence spell. Angel and the others enter, and the Furies "mmm" at him. Cordy notices them and says, "You girls are on the Pill, I hope?" They just "mmm." This gag wasn't all that fresh the first time, and now it's sour, and soggy, and smells bad, and I think it's time to throw out the pickle. Cary explains that this time the Furies are preventing both demon and human violence. So this confirms that there really was no reason he didn't do that in the first place. Swell. Cary turns to Darla and asks what happened. Cordy says, "Angel boned her." Cary's jaw drops. Angel insists, "Just once. Just the one night. Uh, just the two or three one-times that one night." Fred asks whether Angel is going to sing, and Wesley and Gunn get depressed at that idea. Cordy desperately insists, "[Darla's] the one having the baby!" Darla hauls herself to her feet, leans on Cary, sings, "Oh, Danny boy," and then demands to know what's inside her. Cary sits her back down and tells the various contractors and Furies to clear the room. Cary says, "This is way beyond my ken. And my Barbie, and all my action figures." Heh. He doesn't know what the child might be. But did he see anything at all? Does Darla's destiny feature a shotgun wedding? Cary ain't telling. Gunn suggests that the child could be "some kind of über-vamp." Shout out? Wesley mentions the Tro-clon. Angel worries, "Great, so we're saying that my child is the scourge of mankind?" Deep inside Angel, his demon side is glowing with pride. Darla moans in pain, and Cordy suggests that Darla should lie down. Cary agrees, and they help Darla into his bedroom.
Darla flops down on the bed, and Cordy offers to stay and tend to the pregnant vampire. Cary thinks that's perfectly sensible, and leaves.
Angel gripes about prophecies and interpretations and how it's impossible for Darla to be pregnant. Cary adds that it's "mystically unfair," since Angel's done so much to battle evil. Maybe, but Darla hasn't, so what's so unfair? Wesley brings up the shanshu prophecy again, and wonders whether the "pivotal figure" described in it isn't Angel, but his child. Wesley says, "Maybe your destiny is simply to help bring it to the world." Angel adds, "Or to stop it." Fred stands up and declares that she doesn't care about destiny, because "'destiny' is just another word for 'inevitable,' and nothing's inevitable unless we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" Angel asks, "Germans?" and Gunn mutters, "Forget it; she's rolling." Rats, I've gotten confused again. Fred just says that destiny is "evitable" or something like that. Belushi's inspirational speech is better. Angel says that he wants to see the prophecies, Fred's calculations, and any other information they have. Fred offers to go to the Hyperion and collect everything. Wouldn't it be easier if Cary went back to the hotel with everyone else? Angel asks Cary how Cordelia is. Cary says, "I sense she's hurt and pissed, what with the lying and deception, etceteras." Cary's got amazing psychic powers. Angel never would have figured that out on his own. Well, okay, he really might not have. Cary advises Angel to stay out of Cordy's way.
In the bedroom, Darla's getting melancholy. Cordy shares her own pregnancy story, to establish that she knows how uncomfortable Darla must be. Cordy gets into the food cravings, and asks, "Are you able to eat, or just..." Oops. Darla sits up and asks, "What? Drink?" Cordy says that's none of her business and, finally realizing that she's alone with a vampire, offers to leave so that Darla can rest. As she gets to the door, Darla vamps out and rushes over, slamming a hand against the door to hold it closed. Except that, when everyone entered the bedroom, it was quite clear that the door opens outward. So Cordy could just turn the knob, and Darla would fall on her face. Hee! Darla explains, "I'm hungry all the time. It's weird." Cordy says that's natural, and Darla explains, "What's weird is, no matter how much I feed, I can't seem to get full." Cordy punches Darla and then grabs a small cross from her bag, holding it out toward Darla. Darla knocks Cordy's arm away and tosses her across the room into a little bar. When Cordy turns around, Darla covers Cordy's mouth with one hand while biting into her neck. Whoops. If a set of kitchen furniture is a kitchenette, is a set of bar furniture a barrette? And does Cary realize that he lives in a bar? Does he really need a separate place to drink in his room?
As if being attacked by a vampire weren't enough, Cordy is also struck by a vision of blurry children in a blurry arcade. Cordy shoves Darla away so that she can focus on the blurry images. Darla lunges for Cordy again, but Angel pulls her back and throws her across the room. He carries Cordy to the bed and presses a cloth against her wound as he mutters, "You're gonna be all right. I'll kill her for this." Cordy whispers, "You're going to have to find her, first." Angel turns to see that Darla's vanished.
In the front room, Cary, Wesley, and Gunn are picking themselves up off the floor. Angel carries Cordy out as Gunn explains, "We tried to stop [Darla] by hitting her fists and feet with our faces, but --" Angel declares that they'll take Cordy somewhere safe and then deal with Darla.
Cordy, her neck bandaged, is snuggled in bed at her apartment as she tells Angel that he doesn't have to stay. Angel notes that Gunn is on guard. Angel says, "I'm not gonna keep telling you how sorry I am. I'm gonna tell you she'll never do it again." Cordy says it's her own fault: "I forgot what she really was." She mentions that she's "starting to feel the pills," and I'm not sure drugs are a good idea for someone suffering from blood loss, but what do I know? Angel quietly starts to leave, but Cordy calls him back because she's just remembered her vision. She claims, "It was like no vision I've ever had before," although she doesn't explain what made it so different. Maybe she just means that she's never had a vision of an arcade. Cordy says that Darla doesn't know how to sate her hunger, and adds, "I think I know where she's headed."
Angel pulls weapons out of the cabinet. Wesley doesn't think Angel should go alone. Angel thinks a vampire's gotta do what a vampire's gotta do. Wesley points out that Darla's strength seems to be enhanced by the baby. Angel snaps, "I know! I put it there!" Huh? Angel hurries out, and Fred tells Wesley, "I think he just can't bear to have us see him do it." Wesley doesn't see why killing Darla should be a big deal, and Fred clarifies that Darla is carrying Angel's child, "the one thing he can never have, even if he lives forever." I've said it before, and I'll say it again: he should just get a dog.
Munchkins gambol about at the arcade. Not for the first time, I wonder how long the nights are in Los Angeles. It was already dark when Darla arrived on the bus. Shouldn't these kids be in bed? A blond boy looks around for his mother. Instead, he finds Darla, who is seriously in need of a comb at this point. She offers to help the kid find his mommy. As she leads the kid away, another mother remarks, "You're a brave woman! About to have one, taking another out to play." I know people say peculiar things to pregnant women, but that's gotta score pretty high on the scale of bizarre conversation-starters. But it doesn't matter, because Darla is quite grateful for the opportunity to say, "I love children. I could just eat them up." Gee, who could have predicted she'd say that?
Cordy sees her vision mixed in with clips of Darla biting her, and startles awake. Gunn hurries in to reassure her, and Cordy insists that she has to talk to Wesley. So she picks up a phone and calls him.
Wait, no, so she and Gunn hurry over to the hotel, because...uh, I don't know. Cordy says that she had a dream/vision combo pack of what's inside Darla. Do you want fries with that? Fred dials the phone while Cordy asks whether the prophecy says that the Tro-clon will be born, or will arise. Wesley says that the exact translation is "to appear, to spring up." Maybe Fred should be a semantics expert instead of a physicist. Or a secretary, since she reports that Angel isn't answering his phone. Fred asks whether she should leave a message on Angel's voicemail. Cordy answers, "He doesn't know how to use his voicemail. Just try his pager." Why is it important that they find Angel right now? If Cordy wanted to talk to Angel, why'd she say that she needed to talk to Wesley? Did I miss the part where they agreed that he shouldn't kill Darla? Because if not, what's the urgency? So many questions. Fred dials another number, and we hear a pager beeping in the room. Gunn pulls the pager out of Angel's leather jacket. Wesley asks Cordy about the vision, and Cordy says, "I think they're trying to tell me why Darla is craving younger victims."
Darla and the kid are in a deserted part of the arcade. She suggests he look for his mom again. He walks away from her and looks around, and Darla vamps out. Darla, the master tactician, figured that the best time to attack was when the kid was a few yards away, instead of when he was inches from her. The kid sees her and squeals, and as Darla moves forward, Angel runs across the skee-ball games and stops her. As the kid runs away, Angel pulls out a stake and somehow manages to stake Darla's hand. The kid's mother spots him and sweeps him up in a hug. Darla tosses Angel out into the arcade and pulls the stake out of her hand. Everyone screams and runs away. Darla says, "You so wanna play the good guy, don't you? Yeah, you're the good guy who did this to me!" She bashes Angel again while complaining about the hunger and the pounding and so on. Angel offers to stop it, and punches her. Punching and kicking and only one bad-edit-fu. Angel's wearing his leather jacket, by the way. The one I think was back at the hotel. Maybe he has a dozen identical jackets, since they probably get worn out and torn pretty quickly with all the fighting. And then he could get wholesale rates. Angel finally slams Darla against a wall and grabs her neck. Darla shouts, "You put this in me! I hate you!" Angel keeps on choking her until Darla laughs and reminds him, "I don't breathe, you idiot. You can't strangle me!" Maybe he's just trying to get you to shut up, Darla. Angel pulls out a stake, and Darla urges him to kill her, stake her -- just don't throw her into the br'er patch! Angel hesitates and finally backs away, lowering the stake. Moron. Angel and Darla both de-vamp, and then she throws herself at him, crying. Angel holds her and says, "The child has a heartbeat. It has a soul." Darla screams and wails because now he's torturing her with nonsense. Angel goes on to explain, "That's why you've been craving purer and purer blood! It's been driving you out of your mind. It has a soul!" Darla keeps on crying, and Angel finally shuts up. I can't find any flaw in this logic, simply because I can't identify any particle of logic to start with.
Darla settles in on Angel's bed as he hands her a cup of blood. She sips it and asks whether it's pig's blood. Angel tells her, "You need to keep yourself nourished. You'll get used to it." Darla throws it across the room. Angel says that they'll get through this together. And then he'll kill her, because she's an evil vampire. Right? Darla sarcastically says, "Gosh, I'm the luckiest vampire girl in the whole world." She hasn't simpered at all, by the way. I like her when she's pissy. Angel gets up and tells Darla to get some sleep. Darla asks, "How's Cordy? She wanna come up and visit?" Angel walks out to where Gunn is vigilantly guarding Darla by keeping his back to her. Angel says, "She goes near Cordy or Fred --" Gunn says he knows, and raises the crossbow he's holding. Only Cordy and Fred need protecting? Not Wesley? Or, for that matter, Gunn? Okay, Gunn probably doesn't need protecting. I mean, look at how tall he is. Tall, tall Gunn.
Downstairs, Cordy and Wesley are at the front desk. Angel instructs Cordy and Fred to stay away from Darla. This is getting really tiresome. I hope Cordy and Darla team up and kick Angel's ass. Cordy tells Angel that he's going to be a father. Angel doesn't look too thrilled by the prospect. She adds, "I felt it in my dream -- the same thing you did when you found her. It has a soul." The captioning reads, "How's the soul?" which would be a funny way to greet Angel. Between this episode and "Billy," the stories this season seem to have some strange political implications. Is this all because of the post-7th Heaven time slot? Wesley insists, "Well, Angel has a soul. It makes sense, as much as any of this does." I guess I can agree with that last part. But I didn't realize that souls were part of the DNA package. Wesley adds that even if the child has a soul, it still could be the Tro-clon from the prophecy. Angel asks, "The thing that's come to kill and burn us all?" Or purify. Angel says he knows, adding, "I also know that child is mine." Cordy gets ready to suggest that they all have a drink, but Fred interrupts, "Uh oh." Fred babbles about the prophecy, dropping the fact that the word Wesley translated as "arrive" might also mean "to come to, as from a deep sleep." Then everyone says, "Fred!" to make her get to the point. Seriously. Fred says, "I believe [that], whatever this thing is, it's arrive right about..." She checks a watch and finishes, "Three, two...now."
The camera sinks past a food stand at a park. People walk by. Don't they ever go to bed in L.A.? We drop to a cavern underground. Fires blaze as a demon walks over to a statue. The demon talks about how all men must die, but dreamers dream, and sleepers sleep, and snorers snore, and recappers pray for mercy. He throws powder over the statue as he intones, "As pledged in Caladan by Cod-she, one shall awaken in the first year of the final century. That one who lived before and joined Cod-she in the great sleep. Arise!" Oh, man, that was a mistake. Now this show is going to be totally dated in 2101. Having finished his ritual, the demon wanders to one of the bowls o' fire and lights a cigarette. Heh. He smokes, and checks his watch. Then there's a rumbling and flashes of light, and the statue opens its eyes. The statue crumbles to bits, and the person within falls to the floor. The demon puts out his cigarette, walks over to the huddled figure, and says, "Welcome to the twenty-first century. Angelus is here; you'll see him soon." He says that the man's muscles have atrophied from disuse, whereupon the man hops to his feet. It's Holtz, of course. "Just tell me where he is," Holtz says.
time: Darla gets an ultrasound. Angel does some cool climbing stuff. People rappel into the Hyperion. Rappel? I was kidding about installing a skylight, gang. Darla wails in a car, and there's no boiling water handy.