Happy birthday to Johanna, and no love at all to Tim Minear and Jeffrey Bell. Tell the truth, guys: did Marti Noxon pay you to make "I Only Have Eyes for You" look good by comparison?
Previously on Angel, Fred didn't say that line for once, Lilah lost her personal brain trust, and Angel traded a barbecued bad boy for a creamy-complexioned Cordelia.
Angel stands right behind Cordy as he says, "Don't stiffen up." "You either," she replies as she raises a sword. Ugh. We're ten seconds in and already I feel ill. Angel's training Cordy to fight, you see. In the basement. The somewhat cramped, dark, rubble-filled basement. Not, say, the giant empty lobby. Angel coaches Cordy on how to "keep an attacker busy until..." Cordy stares at him and wonders, "Until he dies of old age? Or until you swoop in to save me?" She insists that she needs to know how to fight, and Angel sniffles because Cordy doesn't think he'd protect her. Cordy, bless her, has little patience with that, and says, "What if it turned out you were the guy I had to fight? It could happen." Angel doesn't have much response to that, and leads her through some of them sword-fighting moves. I like watching people wave swords around. Prettiness. Angel offers to go at half-speed until Cordy picks up the moves, but Cordy insists, "Three years of Varsity cheer squad -- I only ever had to be shown a move once." Angel claims this is different from "shaking a pompon." Cordy promptly calls out, "Ready? O! Kay!" and goes through the moves, ending by pinning Angel against the wall. "Go team," he chuckles nervously. Is training a novice with actual swords really wise?
At Wolfram & Hart, Lilah hurries along while berating a secretary: "You should have pulled me out of that meeting the minute you heard anything!" The secretary says that the family is on their way, and Lilah enters her office. Inside, she finds Gavin talking to the guy Angel freed from Skip's burning box. Gavin says he was keeping "young Billy" company. Lilah ignores him and starts yelling at Billy for his recent disappearance. As Gavin defends Billy, the discussion is interrupted by the entrance of Billy's uncle, Congressman Blim. I assume that "Blim" was selected as his name because it doesn't even have any of the same letters as "Kennedy." He thanks Lilah, saying, "This is the second time you've returned our nephew safely to us." As the Blims and their security team exit, Gavin smirks, "Our pleasure." Lilah makes a correction to the effect of, "'Our pleasure' in the sense that he had nothing to do with it." With their visitors gone, Gavin says that Billy's a nice boy. Lilah says, "He's great. Had his own private room in hell. Family connections." She adds, "Oh, by the way? Get out." Gavin says he isn't done, and Lilah tells him, "If you go sniffing around one of my clients again, I think we're gonna have a problem." Gavin asks, "Who told you [that] you could think? Why don't you try listening for a while instead of constantly flapping that fat mouth of yours?" Lilah giggles and makes fun of Gavin's debate skills. She turns away as she adds, "At least Lindsey knew how to --" She's interrupted when Gavin grabs her by the hair, throws her into some shelves, and proceeds to choke her.
Outside, Billy smirks his way down the hall and into the credits. So. Watching Lilah get her head smashed in? Whaddya think? Personally, I found it funny. Now I don't want to give anything away here, but in the course of this episode there's a certain implication that violence against women is sort of, well, not to be judgmental or anything, bad. As Shack ably noted, this is different from the show's normal message, which is that violence against women, particularly Cordelia, is a good story hook. And I find it a bit odd that the first such act of violence we see -- the most surprising one -- is directed against Lilah. What with her being evil and all. I mean, when Angel threatened to kill her recently, there were plenty of people shouting, "Don't threaten! Just kill her! She should be killed!" A clever writer might do this intentionally, in order to make us realize that in cheering for the death of a female character, we, the audience, are in fact victims of the same misogyny that affects the characters on the show. That is, if for "clever" you read "stoned." Because most of us are able to distinguish fiction from reality.
Wesley's. Huh. Guess they wanted to get some use out of the set. Fred watches while Gunn and Angel play a videogame, and Cordy helps Wesley pour coffee. Wesley compliments her on her "initiative" in training with Angel, and says they should all be "battle-ready." Out in the living room, Gunn shouts, "Dead! So dead! So very, very dead! Just how dead are you?" Angel grumps, "I'm tired of being the dead one." Heh. Wesley says he might train Fred to fight, and Cordy says, "If she can help you fight, why not?" Snerk. Cordy says she's kidding (but she's not!), and changes topics: "If you want to get to know Fred better, maybe the time you have her over for an intimate dinner for two, you won't ask the rest of us to come along." Wesley's embarrassed, and claims that Fred is extraordinary. He adds, "The last thing any of us should be doing is...coupling." He worries that office romances are a bad idea, but Cordy points out that the MoG will have a hard time finding someone who can deal with their hobbies. She wonders, "Maybe we are meant --" "For each other?" Wesley wonders, and then the audience wonders whether he meant himself and Cordy, or himself and Fred. And then there's the portion that thinks he means himself and Angel, but I digress. Cordy explains, "Actually, I was going to say, 'To be alone.'" Ouch. She encourages Wesley to "go right up to [Fred] and...hack her into little pieces." Foreshadowing. Got it. That's not actually Cordy's advice for Wesley: she's just getting a vision of a man plunging a big knife into a woman. Everyone rushes over and helps her up. Cordy says she saw a man attacking his wife at a convenience store. Angel wonders how many convenience stores there are on the West Side, and Fred starts to estimate the local population, which goes on way too long before Gunn answers, "A lot." Wesley suggests splitting into teams, but then Cordy says they shouldn't bother: "This murder happened a week ago. Why would [The Powers That Be] show this to me now?"
At the Hyperion, Wesley drops a big stack of paper on the front desk and tells Cordy that he's collected everything about the attack she saw. The pile includes the police reports, the husband's confession, crime scene photos, and images from the security cameras. Cordy starts to look at a photo of the victim, but Wesley suggests that she shouldn't, and Angel grabs the photo away. Cordy and I both point out that she saw the actual crime in a vision, so photos of the aftermath aren't likely to be more disturbing. She's roundly ignored, and so she goes on to ask how Wesley acquired all of the information. He says he bought it from a source (within the police department, one assumes) who sells information to the tabloids. So, those pesky money troubles are over with, then? Righty-o. Wesley reports that, according to the confession, the man killed his wife of thirty years because "he couldn't get her to stop talking." Angel stares at the security camera photos while Gunn wonders why Cordy had a vision of a crime that's been solved. Angel says he knows, and shows them a photo taken twenty minutes before the crime. Why is that in the file? Who cares about twenty minutes before the crime? Wesley looks at the photo and spots Billy in the store. Wesley passes the picture to Gunn, who says, "Oh boy." Cordy snatches the photo and asks who the guy is.
Cut to the rest of the MoG lurking in the lobby while Angel and Cordy chat in the office. Cordy sadly says, "Now we know why The Powers made me experience that woman's death. She died because of me." Angel points out that he's the one who freed Billy, but Cordy says that Angel did it for her. "And I'd do it again," he says quietly. In a scene not shown, Billy causes several more deaths while Angel and Cordy spend precious time discussing ethics while The Powers That Be consider putting out a "Help Wanted" sign. Angel insists that neither he nor Cordy is responsible for Billy's shenanigans, and adds, "But I know who is."
Blipvert. Lilah is sitting in her dark apartment, pouring herself a large drink. She must have just finished reading the script. Angel kicks her door in. From the shadows, Lilah observes, "That's a very dramatic entrance. Except for the part where you can't enter." Angel asks whether she knows what Billy is doing. By way of answering, Lilah stands up in the light so we can see that one eye is swollen shut, and the other side of her face is bruised and scraped. Ewie. She says, "You should see the other guy," which makes me eager for Gavin's appearance. Lilah tells Angel that it wasn't Billy who smashed her face up, and that Billy is "Congressman Nathan Blim's nephew. That family's the closest thing this country has to royalty." Angel isn't impressed. Lilah tells Angel to stay away from her client, and slams the door on a blipvert.
The Angelmobile pulls up outside the gates to the Blim estate, and Angel, Gunn, and Wesley hop out. They stare at the gates. In a scene we don't see, Angel tells them not to bother trying to crash the car through the gates, since that didn't work for Doyle back when Russell lived at this place. Gunn and Wesley discuss ways to sneak onto the grounds, and then Angel neatly hops up, swings over the gate, and drops down inside. Nice, even if I do want to make bionic sound effects when he does that. As Angel scampers off, Gunn turns to Wesley and asks, "Wanna go ?" Wesley proposes that they just wait for Angel.
Angel sneaks up to one of the lit windows and peers inside. Billy is holding a phone, and looking out toward Angel. Angel picks up a piece of patio furniture and smashes the window while Billy watches calmly. Angel enters, and says he isn't surprised that he doesn't need an invitation to enter the house. "You're not quite human," he observes. Billy replies, "Not quite. More than you." Angel asks whether Billy likes to hurt women. Billy smirks and explains, "I just like to watch." Angel threatens to take Billy "back," to his Skip-cage, I guess. Billy disagrees. This riveting discussion is abruptly ended when a woman calls, "Los Angeles Police Department!" Cops stand outside the window. Angel assumes they're upset at his breaking and entering, but Billy cheerfully says they're looking for him. He asks whether the body was where he said it would be. The detective says they're bringing him in for questioning, and Billy isn't at all unhappy about that. As a cop steps forward with handcuffs, Billy presses his hand on the cop's arm and says he'll come quietly. The cops accept that, and then we see Billy remove his hand and leave a glowy red imprint on the cop's skin, which quickly fades. As they escort Billy out, the detective asks who Angel is. Billy says, "He's nobody," which seems to be good enough for her. Angel watches helplessly, because what could he possibly do against three ordinary human beings armed with guns?
Billy sits in the back of a police car. Sanchez -- the cop he touched -- is in the passenger seat, and a female officer is driving. Sanchez starts criticizing his partner's route, and she tells him to relax. Sanchez doesn't care for that, and tells her to pull over while Billy grins happily. The woman asks, "What's your problem?" Sanchez says, "I'll tell you what my problem is: I got a woman here that don't listen." The camera pans past them into the back seat as we hear a struggle begin. The woman cries out, and the brakes screech.
Back at the Hyperion, Wesley explains that Billy was arrested after someone phoned in a tip. Fred is sitting at a desk, listening to something on headphones. Gunn wonders why Billy would confess to something that he didn't technically do. Angel explains that the police liberated Billy from the Blim compound, where he was presumably being kept. Gunn doesn't see the advantage in hanging out in a holding cell instead, but Angel says, "All he'll need to get out this time is his lawyer." He heads for the door, and Wesley asks where he's going. Angel says, "I took him out of one cell; I can take him out of this one, too." Cordy warns Angel not to "go all Terminator," which is a shame, because I'd kind of enjoy seeing Angel do that shtick. She asks, "What if he lays his whammy on you?" Angel says, "He won't be conscious long enough to try." Suddenly, Fred hurries over to tell them that the car carrying Billy didn't make it to the station: "There's been an accident." How does she know? She just heard it on the police scanner. Which they have. Now. How convenient.
An ambulance and several police cars are parked near the crashed car while detectives roam about. Wesley walks up to Gunn and tells him, "There was an altercation between the officers who were transporting Billy. One of them attacked his partner; she was forced to shoot him." Did he slip one of the cops some cash for that information? Or did one of his contacts tell him? Or maybe he heard it over the scanner? Whatever. Gunn wonders whether the woman could tell them how Billy worked his mojo. Wesley suggests that someone could be at the hospital visiting a sick relative and try to find out something. Gunn races off to be helpful in scenes that we'll never see, because that's Gunn's job. Wesley walks over to Angel, who reports that some of the blood in the crashed car is Billy's, and it isn't human blood. After a moment, Angel looks around, then turns to a nearby street and walks down it. He tells Wesley that Billy came this way. They see a bloody handprint on the wall. Those are some incredible super-powered nostrils Angel's got. Wesley picks up a piece of paper and presses it against the blood, saying, "I'll take a sample back to the hotel. See if I can determine just what sort of creature Billy is." Angel says he can't wait for Wesley's results, and dashes off to find Billy. And I mean dashes. He even hops over a short railing as he hurries to the door of a warehouse. Now he's just showing off. Wesley pulls the paper away and looks at the bloody prints.
Hyperion. Cordy puts the taser and a small crossbow in her purse. It's a big purse. Fred, wearing a little purple sundress, wanders in and asks what she's doing. Cordy says she's going to run a "normal, everyday errand." Very convincing. In a scene we don't see, we learn that Cordy wanted to join the Billy-hunt, and the boys wouldn't let her come for some very good reason. And they told her and Fred to stay at the Hyperion at all costs, and not to leave, and that's why Cordy needs to lie to Fred. Cordy also thanks Fred for taking over the "woman in peril" role, which she was getting pretty darn tired of. Shame they cut all that. Cordy heads for the door, and Fred says, "I don't think you should do this." Cordy stares at Fred and asks, "How can I not?" and then hurries out the door. As soon as Cordy leaves, Wesley enters from the other doors. He tells Fred that he was hoping she'd "assist" him, if you know what I mean and I think you do. They head into the office as Wesley explains that he got a sample of Billy Blim's blood, and wants to figure out how his power works. I'm betting that it involves magic. Fred hands Wesley a slide for the blood sample before he asks for it. Clearly, they are meant for each other.
Cordy knocks on Lilah's door. Lilah opens the door, looks her over, and asks whether she's come to gloat. Cordy says, "I can do that anywhere." Heh. Cordy notes that she doesn't need an invitation, and shoves her way inside. Man, Lilah's dumb. Cordy says that she wants to know everything Lilah didn't tell Angel about Billy. Lilah wonders why she'd want to stop to Billy. Cordy says, "There's your face, for starters." Lilah says she accepts the risks of her job, as she picks up her glass of booze. Cordy asks, "Then why were you crying five minutes ago? There's not a thing about badly reapplied mascara that I don't know." Why would Lilah pause in her drunken crying jag to redo the makeup on her swollen, blackened eyes? Not that I'm questioning the writers' insight into womanly ways. Lilah says, "I am not Lindsey McDonald. I don't switch sides whenever it gets tough." She asks why Cordy's doing Angel's job. Cordy explains that Angel feels responsible for liberating Billy, and that she feels responsible since Angel did it for her. Except Angel said he didn't feel responsible, and I kinda figured he was out to stop Billy because, hey, stopping mysterious evil is his gig. Cordy observes that, even though Lilah is really the one responsible, Lilah doesn't feel guilty because she's "a vicious bitch." Lilah smirks, "So, you know me." Cordy replies, "Please. I was you. With better shoes." Then they have a short rapid-fire discussion about shoes, and I don't know what the hell is going on. It ends when Cordy abruptly says, "Billy Blim makes people crazy." Maybe it's the alliteration. Now buckle up, because here's where things go to hell.
Lilah answers, "Not all people. Just men. He brings out a primordial misogyny in them. Turns 'em into killers." Cordy accepts that as a perfectly reasonable explanation, and asks why Billy didn't affect Angel. Lilah leans forward and wonderingly asks whether Angel's seen Billy. Lilah? Hi. Hate to interrupt, but remember how you had Angel rescue Billy? So yeah, Angel's seen him. But that's not what Lilah's talking about. Because if she hadn't blocked that out of her brain as soon as it happened, she would have probably expected Angel to start acting weird soon after that. And she wouldn't have recently gone to visit him at the Hyperion, and if she had, she wouldn't have been terribly surprised if he tried to kill her. So it's lucky she forgot all about that, or her behavior wouldn't make much sense. Cordy is suffering from the same blackout, so she explains that Angel saw Billy get hauled off by the police. Lilah thinks for a moment and says that Billy affects different men in different ways: "Some lose their mind in an instant, others can take hours. Gee, I sure hope Angel isn't starting to feel testy." Cordy says, "You better hope it," which scores a big zero on the snappy comebacks rating scale. Lilah says she's seen Angel's "dark side," and Cordy snaps, "You really haven't." Having exhausted the expositiony goodness from this scene, they're back to chewing the tasteless crust. This seems like a good time to mention that, in the interests of scientific accuracy, I asked my friend Zachary whether he felt any primordial misogyny. His response was, "Who's the little slut that told you about my primordial misogyny? I'll make that bitch pay." He was kidding. I'm not so sure about the writers. Cordy repeats that she has to find Billy. Lilah isn't inclined to help with that project. Cordy describes how, when Archie McPhee gave her the false visions, she was "cut, torn up, [her] face disfigured and burning with pain every second, not knowing if it was gonna end or just get worse till [she] died." She talks about feeling helpless, knowing that her life was at the mercy of someone else. And then things get freaky again, as Cordy adds, "He doesn't care. He'll beat you down till you stay down, 'cause he doesn't even think of you as alive." Is she talking about Archie still? Her big finish is, "No woman should ever have to go through that, and no woman strong enough to wear the mantle of 'vicious bitch' would ever put up with it." Men, of course, deserve what they get. Although I've known a few who could wear the "vicious bitch" mantle with pride. Lilah looks up as Cordy slowly asks, "Where is Billy going?"
I would like to pause here and offer some helpful commentary. Some might think that when Lilah uses the term "primordial misogyny," she is implying that all men, on some basic level, hate women. The fact that Cordelia (along with the other characters) accepts this explanation without blinking, and that it appears to be supported by a later scene, should not lead the careless viewer to jump to conclusions. Lilah has, after all, consistently lied to the good guys about her schemes, and this is exactly the sort of explanation she is likely to invent. Relentless literalists might note that no other theory is ever so much as suggested. But rest assured that there are, almost certainly, several scenes in which Angel and the MoG have a hearty chuckle over Lilah's simplistic explanation, and discuss the actual method to Billy's madness. Admittedly, these scenes didn't, technically, appear in the episode as aired, but it would be pedantic to complain about that. After all, Angel is famed as an interactive show, in which the viewers are given the opportunity to test their creativity by coming with explanations for story elements which appear to be, for instance, misguided Dworkin-esque idiocies. Think of the number of times the show has followed the first rule of good story-telling, which is to require that the audience make dazzling leaps of intuition in order to make sense of the events, and then you'll realize that this episode isn't all that unusual. This paragraph has been brought to you by an overflowing well of sarcasm. And a behind-the-scenes blipvert.
Angel strolls along the street, where he just happens to discover a bunch of people standing around a crime scene. Maybe he heard about it on the police scanner. Various onlookers...look on. We hear someone saying, "He seemed like such a level-headed guy, y'know?" Angel stands behind a couple of guys discussing the incident. One of them says, "Fourteen years driving a cab; I understand why he did it." Angel asks what happens, and learns that a cab driver beat up a passenger. Angel asks whether the victim was a woman, and the loudmouth says, "That surprise you? Probably sitting in the back, nagging, telling him how to drive. You know the type." In a scene we don't see, there's a flashback where we learn that the loudmouth is under Billy's nasty influence, and is therefore not articulating his own beliefs to support what might seem like a sexist and insulting story premise. Angel grabs the loudmouth and demands to know where the driver dropped off his last fare.
Suddenly Gorillaz blare on the soundtrack. Yikes. What is contemporary pop music doing on this show? That's disorienting. Various upper-class twenty-somethings are grooving to the beat at a party. A guy named Dylan is informed that his cousin has arrived. Upon learning that the cousin in question is named Billy, Dylan says, "That's not possible," and then turns around to see Billy. Finally, someone let him out of his cage. And we've certainly seen destruction and demise, corruption in disguise. So yeah: we get it. Billy looks around, spies a couple smooching on the couch, and says, "Somebody should talk to them about appropriate public behavior." Dylan looks worried.
Happy little blood cells frolic about, unaware that Wesley is looming over them, using a microscope to spy on their innocent antics. He invites Fred to take a look, and she says it looks as if "some of the red blood cells are kinda supercharged." They're carrying more oxygen than usual? Wesley guesses that's the result of Billy's "demon lineage." If Billy's part demon, then presumably so is Congressman Blim. Or the Congressman's in-laws are. They conclude that Billy's power stems from his blood. Sure. This is just a suggestion, but I think it would be best if the writers kept far, far away from any pseudoscience. Just say, "Billy is magic. And so is his blood!" Implying that Billy's "supercharged" blood has filled him so much hatred that it's literally oozing out of his pores is profoundly dopey. Fred adds, "It could also be in his sweat or his saliva, or even his touch." Wesley looks up and gets the best non sequitur ever as he asks, "Speaking of saliva, where is Cordelia?" Fred tries to follow that train of logic, but Wesley curtly repeats his question. Fred nervously says that she thinks Cordy went out. Wesley asks where, and Fred replies, "She said an errand." Wesley triumphantly observes that if Fred spoke to Cordy, than Fred knows that Cordy went out. Fred admits that Wesley's right, and he leans back over the microscope before saying, "Lie to me again and we're going to have a problem." Let's use this commercial break to try and figure out why Wesley's being such a jerk. More than usual, even.
Did you write your guess down on a piece of paper and get it notarized so that you can prove you were right? Excellent. Let's proceed. Fred quietly heads for the door, explaining that she's going to call Cordelia and find out where she is. Wesley says that's not necessary, and asks her to sit down. When she hesitates, he tells her a bit more forcefully. Fred apologizes for not telling Wesley that Cordy was gone, and Wesley dismisses the incident with a cheery wave. He stands to her as he says that there are going to be some changes. He flicks the strap of her dress off her shoulder and says, "Like, no more of these provocative little outfits you wear." The Fashion Nazi screams in rage and rushes toward the set until she's restrained by several crew members. Wesley leans over Fred and growls, "You can't be coming in here day after day, waving it in my face like this. You're practically daring me to take it." Fred jumps up and says that the conversation is making her uncomfortable. Wesley laughs and asks how she thinks he feels. He slowly advances on her as he talks about how she taunts him with her flirtatious ways and then laughs at him when his back is turned. Then he gets the line that had Johanna and I cracking up for days: "You think you can do anything you please because you're connected to life, because you bleed, is that it?" Aha! Bobby Bly, Billy Blim. Got it. When Fred denies feeling that her menstrual cycle gives her special privileges, Wesley slaps her across the face. Fred falls to the floor as Wesley says, "I'll show you blood." Fred runs for the door, but Wesley hurries up behind her and pushes it shut before she can get out. Wesley asks, "What do you tell a woman who's got two black eyes?" He grabs Fred and throws her onto the stairs before getting the punchline wrong: "Nothing you haven't already told her twice." No, no. It should go, "Nothing -- you already told the bitch twice." I always preferred the one about the barbecued nun myself, but hey. Fred runs up the stairs as Wesley pulls off his tie and eyes the weapons in the blipvert.
Dylan opens his door, but leaves the chain on, and sees Angel outside. Angel resists the primordial urge to break the door down, and instead explains that he's looking for Billy. Dylan asks whether Angel is a friend of Billy's, and Angel explains, "To be honest, I'm looking to kill the bastard." Gee, normally that doesn't seem likely to inspire trust, but luckily, that happens to be exactly the right thing to say in this case. Dylan opens the door and invites Angel inside. Dylan explains that Billy's been and gone, and Angel's surprised that there's no resulting carnage. Dylan says that there are rules to follow when hanging out with Billy: "You never leave him alone with your girlfriend, keep him away from your pets, and don't let him touch you." Pets? I guess many of Billy's interesting powers were reserved for other scenes not appearing in this episode. Apparently, Billy came by looking for money, which Dylan provided. Angel asks why Dylan let him in, and Dylan explains, "There was a chick here. She was cute -- brunette. She said that a melodramatic guy named Angel would eventually show up." Angel wonders, "Cordelia thinks I'm melodramatic?" Johanna wonders whether every episode will include a scene in which Angel worries over an offhand remark by Cordelia. And then in the season finale, he'll confront her with this long list and say, "You said I'm fat, and melodramatic, and nearsighted, and my accent sucks, and I have stupid hair, and poor taste in women." And then Cordy will buy him a new leather jacket or something, and all will be forgiven. Where was I? Dylan defends the "melodramatic" description by pointing out that Angel threatened to kill Billy. Angel grumps, "That's not melodrama --" He suddenly grabs Dylan and asks, "She was here?" Dylan rather charmingly says, "So, you're saying that melodrama is exaggerated emotion?" Angel growls, "This isn't a demo," and asks where Cordy went. Dylan says that Billy was headed for Santa Monica, and was planning to fly someplace on the Blim family's private plane.
Wesley, trusty axe in hand, wanders up the stairs, plaintively calling for Fred. He says she's forcing him to look for her. He sighs, "Oh, it's such a dog and pony show," and how's that for meta-commentary? As he pushes open doors, he says, "You beguile me with your girlish ways, I pursue you, but you never give over, do you?" He's not searching the hotel rooms very well; he's just opening the doors to darkened rooms and glancing inside. In a scene not appearing in this episode, he notes that there are no footprints on the dusty floors, or something, which is why he's so sure Fred's not in those rooms. He pushes the door to room 520, and the chain holds it shut. Wow. I was waiting for the part where we see that Fred fastened the chain from outside with a coat hanger, to lure Wesley into an empty room, but it turns out that no, Fred's just dumb. Without Angel around to help, Wesley is forced to kick the door open all by himself. He walks in and says, "You can't come out into the open, can you? No, you hide. You deceive. It's nothing new. It goes all the way back to Eve." He looks around in the spooky dark corners while he goes on nattering about apples and women and getting lured out of the garden and into the muck. He also smashes some stuff with the axe. Broken glass spills out across the floor, causing Fred to gasp from her hiding place under the bed. Given her ability to survive for five years in Pylea, I can't help wondering what happened to her survival skills. Wesley goes through the slasher-movie tradition of walking up to the victim's hiding place, walking away so that we think they're safe, and then suddenly pouncing on her. He throws the mattress off of the bed and pulls Fred out from under the bed frame. Wesley shoves Fred against the wall and kisses her, whereupon she stabs him with something, knees him in the groin, and runs away. In a scene we don't see, she runs down the stairs and out of the hotel while she has the chance.
Billy stands on the runway as a plane taxis up toward him. Cordelia pops out from behind a plane and calls to him. I guess she's paid a fortune in cab fares tonight. Billy turns around and asks who she is. She explains, "I'm the woman Wolfram & Hart tortured to get you out of your fire cell." Is she hoping this will make Billy feel bad? I'm thinking he's probably beyond guilting. Billy smirks and asks whether she's there to whine about the injustice of it all. Cordy says, "No, asswipe." She quickly zaps him with the taser and pulls out a crossbow as she says, "I'm here to send you back."
Oh dear. Sorry, I seem to have lied about that last scene we didn't see. It turns out that Fred thought the best plan was to hide in a different room. And not even to close the door this time. Wesley appears in the doorway and announces, "I don't run away like a girl. I see things through." Fred pops out the other door and...Hang on. The other door? I rewind the tape. Okay, maybe it's a suite or something. With multiple exits. Hm. Fred runs back into the hallway, and Wesley appears some distance down the hall. Like, two doors down. Yeah, I'm being petty. But seriously, these hotel rooms make no sense. Fred dashes away and goes up the stairs. I said "up." I'm starting to think she deserves to get killed. Fred runs down another hallway, trips, crabwalks backwards, jumps up, and for a triumphant conclusion to her record-breaking "woman being chased clichés" series, turns around and runs smack into Gunn. How'd he get in front of her if she was running up the stairs a second ago? Did he come into the hotel and think, "Maybe I'll just hang out on the sixth floor for a while, see if anyone wanders by?" Whatever. He claps a hand over her mouth before she can scream, shushes her, and pulls her down the hall.
Billy picks himself up while Cordy continues pointing the crossbow at him. Billy explains that he doesn't hate women, adding, "Sure, you're all whores who sell yourselves for money or prestige, but men are just as bad." I am forced to report that the plane has stopped at just the right angle so that the crew probably wouldn't be able to see the crossbow, which means I can't complain that nobody wanders over to find out what's going on. Damn and blast. Billy continues, "[Men are] willing to throw away careers, or families, or even lives for what's under your skirt." Cordy dryly notes that she's wearing pants, and is she just gonna let him ramble on all night? Apparently. Billy asks whether dressing like a man makes her feel superior. Cordy replies, "I feel superior because I have an arrow pointed at your jugular, and the irony of using a phallic-shaped [sic] weapon? Not lost on me." Are there many weapons that aren't phallic? Billy says she doesn't have the nerve; Cordy disputes that and steps even closer, so that it'll be even easier for Billy to grab the crossbow away from her. Which is pretty much what happens, except it's Angel who grabs the crossbow. He can't let her do it, you see. Because...uh...well, Billy's a demon, and he's done all sorts of horrible things, and so obviously Cordelia shouldn't kill him because...no, don't tell me. I'll get it. Well, apparently it's because Angel wants to kill Billy himself. Billy doesn't take advantage of this dispute, during which Angel and Cordy are ignoring him, to make any attempt at escaping. Cordy insists, "He can't hurt me!" Angel is so vexed that Cordy is using nasty headache-inducing logic on him that he turns away, allowing Billy to grab him. Billy holds Angel's face, squishing his cheeks up so that he resembles Elvis for a second. Billy says, "I won't hurt her at all!" Angel shoves Billy away, and we see the glowy red handprints on his face fade away.
Gunn and Fred run down the hall, trying doors, but they're all locked. How come they're locked on this floor? Gunn finds an opened door and they dash inside. He immediately locks it and begins barricading the door with various bits of furniture. Meanwhile, Fred explains that Wesley got "infected" while examining Billy's blood. Gunn asks, "You mean that fingerpainty-looking handprint downstairs is Billy's blood?" He explains that he picked it up and looked at it. Gunn begins pulling the furniture away from the door so he can get away from Fred before he goes all nuts. But of course, that's when Wesley starts hacking away at the door. Gunn suggests that they go to plan "B," which seems to involve Fred falling through a hole in the floor. In a scene we don't see, Fred and Gunn go out onto the balcony visible in the background to see whether there's a way Fred could climb up, or down, and thereby escape. It turns out that they can't, because exterior shots of the hotel have never shown any balconies and it's just a trompe l'oeil painting on the wall. Fred asks what they're going to do, and Gunn snaps, "Plan 'B' is the one where if you don't stop whining, I bash in your --" He catches himself, and gasps, "Oh, God."
Angel, looking perturbed, tells Cordy to leave. Cordy tells Angel, "You can fight this." Billy says that he can't, and comments, "I've actually never done this to a vampire. Should be pretty entertaining." Angel wants Cordy to go, but Cordy won't because it's her fault that all of this is happening. Angel gives Cordy a nasty look and asks, "You know what your real problem is?" Then he punches Billy and says, "Guys like him!" Billy reels, and Angel adds, "You got no power over me." Which, speaking of dumb girls, gives me a Labyrinth flashback. Angel punches Billy again while Cordy looks relieved. So, Angel briefly acted as if Billy's mojo was working in order to do...what? As best I can tell, it was just to distract Cordy so that he could beat Billy up for a while without her insisting that she should have a turn.
Gunn breaks off a chair leg, scaring Fred, and then hands it to her. He tells her to knock him unconscious with it. Fred doesn't want to, of course, until Gunn says, "Then give it back to me so I can smash your stupid head with it!" I don't know if that was the effects of Billy's blood, or just understandable frustration at dealing with Fred for thirty seconds. Fred finally wallops Gunn, and he grunts, "You're gonna pay for that." She clobbers him again, and he falls to the floor, unconscious. And that's when Wesley starts breaking through the door. Ever have one of those days?
Angel pounds Billy about some more, then throws him a dozen feet away. Which is impressive, but seems like a poor strategy. "I will pound your face in! And then throw you far away! Now come back here so I can pound you some more!" Plus, it's not even inflicting much damage. Billy rolls to a stop and then crouches on all fours. He slams his hands down, and waves of glowy light move along the ground away from his hands, then pack. Pulsing light moves up his arms, and his eyes glow. What was that all about? Is he trying to make the tarmac give in to its misogynistic impulses? That would make as much sense as anything else on this show. Oh, wait -- apparently that was Billy drawing on the power of the tarmac, because he starts punching Angel. At this point, I'm starting to wonder about the crew in the airplane again. Cordy picks up the crossbow and tries to aim, but wouldn't you know? Angel and Billy are spinning each other about so much that she can't get a clear shot. Pity she didn't go for the weapon a few seconds earlier, when Billy was making such a fine glowy target of himself. Angel flips Billy to the ground, and Billy looks up to see Cordy taking aim. Suddenly a shot rings out. A maid screams. The phones go dead. An owl hoots. Billy crumples to the ground. Cordy looks over and we see Lilah lower her pistol. Cordy and Angel stare at Lilah for a minute, and then Lilah turns and walks away. For just a second there, Lilah reminded me of Mona Demarkov, and I may like her for weeks as a result. Even longer if she'll continue the imitation by killing Juliette Lewis.
Wesley finally shoves the door open, and finds an unconscious Gunn, but no Fred. Wesley asks whether Fred would like to hear his theory about how stupid she is. You don't need to tell me, Wesley; I'm already convinced. He says, "I believe that after five years of living in a cave, you'll instinctively retreat to small, dark places, rather than run outside where you'll be safe." He walks over to a wardrobe and swings it open dramatically. Fred isn't inside, but she is visible reflected in a mirror on the door. Fred admits that he's right about her habit of hiding in dark places. Wesley raises the axe and advances. Fred adds, "But you forgot [that] I also like to build things." She pulls a rope; a fire extinguisher swings down, conks Wesley on the head, and knocks him into the hole in the floorboards. Wesley fell down de hole!
Cordy and Angel are back to their practice sessions. Cordy says that she doesn't get it. Angel replies, "I don't get it, either." That makes three of us. In a scene we don't see, they discuss how they each felt some responsibility for their part in releasing Billy, and they expected to have some meaningful resolution to their feelings of guilt, and perhaps to deepen their appreciation for the consequences their decisions have on other people. So, naturally, they were quite surprised when Lilah unexpectedly popped up and cleaned up their mess so that she could make sure that the audience would know that Lilah is bad and the good guys are still free from any pesky moral stains. Except for all of the other people who died or ruined their lives because of Billy. But screw them; they weren't recurring characters. Cordy also mentions how lucky it is that the effect of Billy's power is only temporary. Since nobody ever even asked about that. Back to the scenes we do see. Cordy asks why Billy's touch didn't affect Angel. Angel says, "Oh, but it did!" and runs his sword through Cordy. Not really, but that would have almost made everything else worthwhile. Angel guesses, "Maybe because I'm not human." Cordy scoffs. Angel tries again: "That thing Billy that brought out in others, that hatred and anger? That's something I lost a long time ago." Um, Angel? Hi. Remember just a few weeks ago, the thing that put this whole sorry mess in motion? Cordy was under psychic attack, Lilah was responsible, you were blackmailed into doing a Bad Thing, and then you called Lilah a vicious bitch and threatened to kill her. I got the impression you might have been a little miffed there. Perhaps I misinterpreted things. Where'd I put the aspirin? Cordy asks if Angel felt anger when he was evil. Angel insists, "I never hated my victims, I never killed out of anger; it was always about the pain and the pleasure." Never? Cordy goes on talking about something dumb, but I can't hear her over the incredible pounding of my brain desperately hammering on the inside of my skull, trying to break out so it can run away and find a less agonizing home.
Wesley sits at the table in his apartment, staring at nothing. Fred knocks on the door and calls to him. He slowly goes to open the door. Fred gasps at the puncture in his cheek she made when he assaulted her. They stand there silently for a minute before Fred says she left messages for him. Wesley apologizes for not returning her calls, and then looks up at her and coarsely whispers, "I'm so sorry." Geez, he looks really tortured in that shot. Good. Fred insists that Wesley has to come back to work, and says, "You're the boss! We need you." Fred's not very smart, but she's a good liar. Fred helpfully establishes that they've all taken a few days off, but now it's time to get back to work. She says that it wasn't really Wesley who tried to kill her. Wesley asks, "How can you know that? Something inside me was forced to the surface. Something primal..." Fred asks whether he still wants to kill her, and Wesley says that he doesn't. She insists, "It wasn't something in you, Wesley -- it was something that was done to you." In a scene we don't see, Angel rushes in and says, "Hey, great! Does that mean I'm not responsible for my hundred-year murderous rampage, or for killing Jenny Calendar, or anything I did as Angelus? After all, when I was turned into a vampire and when I lose my soul, those were things that were done to me. Man, I've spent all this time brooding over my past behavior unnecessarily!" Wesley says that he doesn't know what kind of a man he is, and it hurts my feelings a bit that he's ignored all the helpful adjectives I've used to describe him in these recaps. Fred says that Wesley's a good man, and asks whether he'll come back to the office. He nods and says he will, and Fred exits, audibly knocking into the doorframe in her attempt to squeeze past the camera they used for the close-ups of Wesley. Heh. Wesley closes the door and sniffles. Out in the hall, it appears that Fred turned around and came back to Wesley's door after they moved that damn camera out of the way. She leans in to listen to him cry. Then she turns and walks away, because she doesn't like sissies.
week: Darla shows up looking for child support.