Previously on Angel, Gunn reminded the audience that he used to be interesting and have friends like Rondell and George. Wesley got shot, and I'm glad they keep showing that scene because I wore out the old tape watching that over and over again. Angel realized that his employees were getting along, so he'd better nip their peaceful coexistence in the bud. Cordelia wished it would stop hurting, and maybe she meant the visions, but maybe she meant the bipolar plots.
Angel and the MoG are out at a fancy restaurant. Oh, we aren't supposed to know that Angel's there, because the shot starts by showing them in a mirror. But we do. Because we've seen this show before. They're celebrating because Cordy landed a role in a commercial. Cordy's hair has been attacked by a crazed blow dryer. It doesn't look bad, exactly; it just looks as if she's stolen some little old lady's wig. Cordy reminds us that she has visions, which cause her pain, which we know because we've seen this show before. She mentions feeling guilty, and Angel unconvincingly claims that she shouldn't feel guilty about ordering a $19 "sashimi-couscous appetizer." Cordy assures him that she doesn't feel at all guilty about her order, and off Wesley's questioning look, Angel insists, "I'm not cheap! I'm just old. I remember when a few bob got ya a good meal, a bottle, and a tavern wench." Yeah, and you remember when people in stagecoaches tried to run penny farthing bicycles off the road. Things change: now we run bicyclists over with our SUVs. It's called progress, okay? Angel does manage a passable lilt at the end of that line, incidentally. Cordy clarifies that she feels guilty about letting the rest of them work on a case while she shoots the commercial. It seems that Cordy saw a Haklar demon in a vision, so while she works, Angel will find out where it is. Then the boys will "kill it to death," to quote Wesley. Gunn and Wesley touch fists manfully. Angel spots this and puts his own fist out, forcing Gunn and Wesley to repeat their macho ritual. Gunn and Wesley start debating whether they should get a flame-thrower, while Angel goes on being awkward and cheap and so on. No one notices.
Forced to go to greater lengths to get attention, Angel spots a woman walking by. Woosh, he's up and at 'er. He grabs her shawl and describes it as a "Brahanian battle shroud, woven from the skin of dead children." As the MoG nervously approach, Angel hisses, "You don't think I know a Voctar witch when I see one? You don't think I can read the markings of a..." And about then he gets a better look at the shawl. Cordy arrives in time to complement the woman on her "beautiful, thousand-dollar Laura Mina original." She claims that Angel just can't control himself when he sees something pretty, "because he's, um...from France." I was pretty bored during this scene, but that got me. Jokes about the French are always funny. Hey, why are the avenues in Paris lined with trees? So the Germans don't have to march in the hot sun! See? Comedy gold. Plus then I pictured Angel as a Conehead, and maybe that's what the hair is hiding, and it all makes so much sense now, doesn't it? I was almost too amused by that to notice that Angel adds, "Pardon," as he backs away from the woman. I don't know why, but: heh.
But wait, there's more. Cordy and Angel retreat to the table. Gunn complains about attracting attention. Gunn. The guy who really enjoyed attracting a lot of attention at the Wolfram & Hart building back in "Blind Date." I understand context and all, but it still seems like Wesley's the one who wouldn't like people staring at him. Then Cordy starts muttering, "Oh god," and is it a vision? No, because the visions strike without warning. And have I mentioned that we've seen this show before? And they've done the sneezing joke, so it must be...ah yes. Sashimi backing up on her. When did this show become a Fox sitcom? Credits.
At the Hyperion, Wesley's on the phone. He says, "Yes, Mum, yes. Yes, well, put him on." We can't hear the other side of the conversation Wesley has with his father, so I'm gonna have to make a guess or two, but it seems to go something like this:
Wesley: Hello, Father. Happy birthday. How are you?
Wesley's Dad: Not bad, considering my game leg. I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow but they're threatening a tube strike so --
Wesley: Good.
Wesley's Dad: Uh...[weary sigh] But enough about me. How's your job going? You aren't still having doubts, are you?
Wesley: No, it's going quite well, actually.
Wesley's Dad: Well, that's wonderful! I kept telling you that you'd do fine if you just --
Wesley: I have news. I've been put in charge of our group.
Wesley's Dad: Congratulations! You're in charge, eh?
Wesley: Yes, as their leader.
Wesley's Dad: That's wonderful. There isn't a trial period, is there? I know you get nervous when you feel like you're on probation, and when you get nervous...well, you fall down a little more often than usual.
Wesley: No, it's a permanent position. Well, permanent as these things --
Wesley's Dad: Now, don't talk that way. Focus on the positive.
[...and so on and so forth...]
Wesley's Dad: You aren't still agonizing over that stupid Watcher's Council, are you? So they fired you! Biggest mistake they ever made. Can't you understand how we're all tired of trying to reassure you about this? You're the only one who brings it up. Get over it!
Wesley: No, no, you're right, I see how you...
Wesley's Dad: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.
Wesley: I just thought you'd be...I thought you'd want to know, that's all.
Wesley's Dad: I always want to know what's going on with you. I just...well, calling me on my birthday just so you can manipulate me into reassuring you for the five thousandth time that--
Wesley: Right. Well, again, happy birthday.
Wesley's Dad: Gee, thanks, Captain Passive-Aggressive. [click]
That's just a theory, of course. After Wesley hangs up, Gunn enters. Wesley mentions talking to his dad, and the forlorn flute of fatherly folderol keeps tooting away. We know: Bad Dad. We've seen, not only this show, but every other show currently in production.
Establishing shot of "Stage 6" at an unnamed studio. However did they get these daring shots of an actual production lot? Oh, right. Inside, things are getting meta as Angel wanders onto the set. Those darn sewer tunnels go everywhere, don't they? Maybe Angel earns his mad money by sneaking onto sets and then selling spoilers to crazed fans. Just a theory. There's a bikini-clad girl standing in front of a beach set. Angel gets an intent look, and strides toward her. The girl, for some unimaginable reason, looks pleased at his approach, until he passes right by her and steps onto the fake beach. He turns and stares directly up into the lights, singing his retinas, and, presumably, pretends he's on a real beach. Like he was just last year. Before he decided against keeping the Gem of Amarra. He's been to the beach more frequently of late than I have, is all I'm saying. While Angel blisses out like a cat in a sunbeam, Cordy strolls up and asks what he's doing. She's wearing a robe, and it looks as if trying to undo her latest hair tragedy has only made things worse. Angel gleefully says that he's "getting a tan! Not bursting into flames." Is Angel truly unaware of tanning lamps? I know they aren't the same as being out in the sun, but, in case you haven't noticed, standing in front of a backdrop and blinking at the gels is also different from your average day at the beach. Cordy repeats her question, and Angel says he needs some clarification about her vision. Cordy hushes him as "Seth the director" approaches. "Seth." You just know he's going to be trouble.
Cordy thanks Seth for casting her, and Seth says, "You're welcome, lose the bathrobe." Cordy hesitates. Seth bitchily says, "The wardrobe. I need to see it. Lose the robe, princess." Angel glares at Seth as Cordy unveils herself. She's wearing a bikini with what looks like a number of small shells attached to it. Or possibly cotton balls. She's barely wearing clothes at all, and they still stand out as bizarre. That's a talent. Angel briefly experiments with looking at her, and then resumes glaring at Seth. Ordered to turn around, Cordy does so. Lewd comments are made. Seth asks when she's going into makeup, and Cordy says she's already been to makeup, which is obvious because the eyeliner covers more of her skin than the bikini does. Seth says she needs to go back, and tells his assistant that she looks like "a refugee from an abused women's shelter." Cordy explains that she had food poisoning, and Seth snarks, "Yeah, right. You eat? Good one!" Seth makes more rude comments to his assistant until Angel's urge to protect pretty girls takes over. Angel orders Seth to apologize. Seth is not intimidated, and tells his assistant to call Security. Cordy is embarrassed. And (almost) bare-assed. Angel glares some more, or maybe he's still blinded from staring at the lights, and Cordy pulls him back as Seth oozes away.
Angel jabbers, "Do you want me to rip that guy's head off for you? Because, you know, I can, really. I can just actually rip his head right off his body! I can do that!" For some reason, the camera focuses on Cordy for this. Maybe it was hard for David Boreanaz to maintain a complex facial expression and say those lines at the same time. Pity. Anyway, Cordy orders him to leave before he ruins her "career." Angel finally remembers why he turned up in the first place, and asks whether the Haklar demon she saw was eating a person, or just a person's liver. He explains, "It's a funny story: according to my informant, liver-eating Haklars have different feeding grounds than people-eaters, and I have to know which kind it was so I can track it down. and kill it." Best joke in that whole scene was Angel introducing that as a funny story. Cordy sniffs, "I hate my whole life," and walks away. So, Angel getting all thuggish and protective of Cordelia was kind of funny for a minute, but wow. Long scene. No real payoff. Phew.
Back at the Hyperion, Wesley and Gunn are...uh. Doing nothing. We do get a new angle on the Hyperion lobby, though. Three sofas, Gunn, and Wesley. I haven't seen that much padding in one place in a long time. Consider it foreshadowing. While they wait, Gunn asks Wesley for information about the Haklar. Wesley starts describing the Haklar's size, origins, communication styles, mating patterns, until finally Gunn interrupts to ask, "I meant, how do we go about killin' it?" Wesley says, "Your standard slice and dice." Suddenly Rondell and George enter. Their backstory is efficiently provided. But we know it, because we've seen this show before. They explain that vamps have been attacking homeless people in MacKenzie Park. Gunn tries to resume his fearless-leader role, but the Found Boys have already set a trap. They just dropped in to borrow Gunn's truck, with stake-shooting attachments. Gunn says he'll join in for the kill, and tells Wesley to page him if Angel figures out where the Haklar is. He's almost out the door when Angel walks in and announces that he's located the Haklar near Lake Hollywood. He adds, "We'd better hurry, 'cause there's a 5K race starting there in a half an hour." Gunn unhappily tells Rondell and George, "I gotta take this," but insists he'll join them as soon as he's done. George sniffs, "Yeah, whatever, G," and they leave. Gunn doesn't even give offer them the keys to his truck, which is awfully petty. Hey, do you get how everyone feels alienated and lost? You do? Are you sure?
As Angel hands out weaponry, Wesley asks whether he's okay. Angel starts ranting that the acting business sucks, and Gunn and Wesley try to understand what he's going on about. He starts in on Seth, saying, "It's like she's his commodity, like she's a slave or something!" I hear the distant whistle of an anvil descending at high speed. Wow, it's far away, though. Might actually take a week to land. Angel continues ranting that Cordy put up with this treatment, and that she never takes crap from anyone. He adds, "He's also got her wearing this flimsy swimsuit that covers, like...nothing." As he says this, he begins wringing his hands around his axe handle and I simply refuse to spell this out. Wesley and Gunn join Angel in, uh, contemplation for a moment, before chiming in, "Appalling!" and "Disgusting!" And so they head off to channel their icky feelings into some constructive monster-slayage.
Cary sings "Superstition." In the audience is a demon wearing a nose-to-eyebrow chain. Someone had fun doing that. As Cary wails, a blurpy-Slider effect morphs into existence behind him. Please, not Jhiera again. The audience applauds, perhaps thinking this is part of the show. Cary keeps bopping away until the wormhole begins shooting Spielbergian blue crinkly light, and then starts yelling. And then a hobgoblin with crazy shoulders pops onto the stage to check out Cary's melody.
After a brief interruption for ads, the hobgoblin starts flipping tables and breaking stuff. The audience flees. The hobgoblin has really long arms, which don't look convincing, but points for trying something different. After some hobgoblin-esque hullabaloo, he scampers out the door. Cary nervously says, "Everything's fine. Nothin' to worry about. It's all part of the show." I don't think the audience is paying much attention to him at this point.
Back on the set, Cordy and the other bikini-girl smooth suntan lotion on a lummox. Seth calls cut and tells Cordy she needs to lean over more to get out of the lummox's light. Cordy moans, "If I bend over any more, I'm gonna fall out of my top." Seth sniffs, "And then you'll be out of his light." She hesitates, and Seth snaps, "Show the cleavage, say the line." Cordy looks sad. So do I, since this scene made me wonder if there might still be someone out in the audience who hasn't picked up on the alienation theme yet. I decide the answer is probably "yes," and then I weep for humanity. Again.
Angel and Wesley return to the Hyperion. Wesley dabs at a tiny cut on his eyebrow and asks, "Has it --" Angel says, "Stopped bleeding? Yeah." His tone suggests that this is the hundredth time Wesley has asked. Then they spot Cordelia, who's moping in the lobby. Angel hesitates before saying, "If I was out of line today..." Cordy replies, "'If you were out of line'? 'If'? You're comfortable with your use of the word 'if' here, are you?" Angel apologizes for acting like a dink (although he phrases it differently), and no one seems to realize that Cordy is depressed because someone has forced her to put on a denim jumpsuit. Like she's the Dixie Catwoman. And if she doesn't like showing off her cleavage, maybe she should do up another button on that thing. Cordy expresses regret and alienation regarding her career, and asks where Gunn is. Wesley explains that Gunn went to join his Found Boys. Then Angel and Wesley share Haklar-slaying stories. Apparently it was about to attack a group of power-walkers when they arrived. Angel says, "Horrible," and of course he's talking about the power-walkers. He says, "Walking I get, but power walking? Why not just run for a shorter time?" I giggle a little, because Angel looks as if he's genuinely trying to figure this out, which makes me want to say, "Look, it's trying to think." (TM Albert Rosenfelt) We also learn that Wesley's wound was the result of an attack by one of the power-walkers, not the Haklar. Wesley says, "Apparently, she felt that I disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it." Okay, amusing. Cordy notes that L.A. sucks, and Cary finally enters to jumpstart a little thing called plot.
Cary announces that he needs the MoG to kill something: "It's called a Drokken. You won't find it in your books. It's not from any world you ever heard of." He explains that it arrived at his club via a portal, and that it's probably getting hungry. Cut to the Drokken attacking some guys on a dark street. A woman interrupts as the Drokken starts feeding, and it turns around as she screams. Cut back to the hotel, where everyone wants some more information on how the Drokken got to L.A., where it would go, what it wants, and so on. I half-expect Galen to materialize and ask, "Who does it serve, and who does it trust?" He doesn't, and that's probably for the best, because this episode has more than enough materializations as it is. Cordy smiles at something we can't see, leading me to wonder whether she's watching a more interesting episode on a monitor off-screen. Cary doesn't have much information, but adds that the Drokken trashed his club and attacked his audience. Angel says, "I thought violence wasn't possible in Caritas. Isn't it supposed to be a sanctuary?" I thought it was just accepted as neutral territory. Cary doesn't clarify this either way, though he admits that the Drokken didn't actually kill anyone in his club. He assures them, "There were angry glances. I sensed some bad intentions. Not a nice fella." On review, I think Cary was just trying to avoid explaining how he knew the Drokken was a killer, but originally his "I'm hiding something" delivery made me think that the Drokken wasn't actually dangerous at all, and Cary wanted it killed for some other reason. Which made me think that the cut to the Drokken attacking people didn't happen, and I was, essentially, quite confused. Maybe the cut to the Drokken attack was added to try to make its nastiness a bit clearer, so we wouldn't think this was a rerun of "Judgement." And then I think that maybe I'm spending way too much time worrying about one scene, and I move on with my life. After some more questions, Cary finally asks, "Are you gonna help me or do I have to break out my champion Rolodex?" Angel reluctantly suggests that they search in a radial pattern with Caritas at the center, but Cordy wobbles her head meaningfully to remind him that Wesley's in charge. Now that's funny: Wesley's in charge. Angel apologizes, and Cary congratulates Wesley on his -- ha ha ha! -- new leadership position. Hee. After a moment, Wesley, of course, just repeats Angel's plan. Cordy starts rubbing her head as the others head for the weapons cabinet, and Cary asks what's wrong with her. Wesley explains about Cordy's bout with food poisoning, only of course it's a vision, which we knew. Why? Because we've seen this show before. Cordy sees a dark-haired "geeky for television" girl at a library. The girl pulls out a book, starts reading it, and then portal opens and she screams. Cordy gets as far as saying, "She was reading a book," before Cary interrupts to say, "As scary as that sounds, crazed Drokken on the loose here, kind of in first position." Cordy mentions the portal, and Wesley insists that they head for the library before it closes. Cary doesn't like this because he's alienated and questioning his -- oh, sorry. No, so far he's just holding up a big sign that says, "I'm hiding something!"
A blipvert takes us to Neverneverland, which has been transformed into a graffiti-riddled building where the Found Boys hang out. Gunn strolls up to a sentry, who seems a bit gloomy. Gunn walks into a room where his Found Boys have gathered. He soon discovers that they're staring at George's body. George was vamp-bit. Bummer. I bet this makes Gunn feel alienated and stuff. Gunn asks, "Did they make him drink?" Rondell says, "We don't know." Gunn swallows a big ball of guilt.
As they stroll into a library, Cary asks Angel, "How come every time you and me [sic] hit the big city, we end up in a library? Snoresville." He suggests that Angel join him at Elton John's concert for a change of pace. Cary mentions "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," and again, off in the distance, I hear something heavy approaching at high velocity. Maybe it'll burn up in the atmosphere. A librarian suddenly bumps right into Cary and is understandably startled by his appearance. A ruffly pink shirt and a red silk cravat -- I'd be scared, too. After a moment, the librarian divines that Cary must be part of the children's reading program. She tells him that it's tomorrow morning, and Cary explains that he likes to get a feel for the room before a performance. She goes on to compliment him on his costume, "except for the horns...but those are probably hard to fake." Cary says, "If you only knew." She points them to the reading room, and Cary claims he'll see her "and the munchkins" tomorrow. Damn, I think I hear another anvil plummeting. I'm glad I've got a week to shore up some beams under the roof. Cary wanders off, and Cordy tells the librarian that they're looking for someone. She describes the girl from her vision, and when she mentions a locket the girl was wearing, the librarian identifies the girl as Fred. Short for Winifred. Girls with boys' names. This just gets better and better. The librarian hands over a "Have you seen me?" flyer with a photo of Fred as she explains that Fred disappeared five years ago. Fred worked in the library, and was studying to be a physicist. But then one day, while cataloguing the foreign-language books, she vanished. How many people out there felt a thrill of horror when the librarian said "physicist"? It's not just me, right? Sometimes there's a reason to keep genres segregated. Like, when physicists turn up on shows with a fantasy premise. Trust me, please. This way technobabble lies.
The modified MoG enter a room marked "Foreign Language Books." As Wesley directs the team to fan out, he stops to wonder what they're actually looking for. Cordelia doesn't know either, but insists that this is the place she saw in her vision. Cary enters, enthuses about the reading room, and says, "I'm tempted to just show up tomorrow morning with Harry Potter." He also wonders whether they might like to go back to searching for the demon. They wouldn't. Cordy checks out the stacks and immediately finds the book she saw in her vision. The title page reads, "Scrsqwrn." Damn it, I hate cryptograms. Wesley doesn't recognize the language. They determine that the book was last returned on the day of Fred's disappearance. Cordy flips a few pages in and starts reading gibberish aloud. Props to the closed captioning people who attempted to spell this stuff. I'm not gonna bother. Just slap the keyboard at random you'll get the idea. She finishes reading, and then the earth shakes, wind blows, lightning crashes, Live drones, Cary screams, and a portal opens.
A green gladiator with long hair and a sword tumbles out of the portal, and he and Angel immediately start fighting. The gladiator is shoved up against a bookcase and turns his head, causing Cary to interject, "Landok? Is that you?" Angel stops and asks if Cary knows the gladiator. Cary says, "Yeah, but just because I know his name doesn't mean you can't knock him unconscious. Please, continue." And then, the moment we've all been waiting for: Landok asks Cary, "Can it really be you? Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan?" Cary says, "My name is not important," and takes Arthur to see Trillian's white mice. Wait, wrong anticlimax. Wow, we waited nineteen episodes for "Krevlornswath"? Cary says, "I prefer Lorne." He goes on to say, "I don't generally go by that because...green." Angel gets it, and is once again alienated because Wesley and Cordy claim never to have heard of Lorne Greene. It might have helped if he'd referenced Battlestar: Gallactica instead of Bonanza. But when we're talking about Cordy and Wesley, it probably wouldn't have helped much. I'm too busy trying to understand why Cary (I'm sticking with that name) claims that he prefers to be called "Lorne," when in the sentence he insist that he doesn't use that much, either. Why not call himself "Krev"? It was all for the Bonanza punchline, I know. That's really not a sufficient excuse. I'm overanalyzing again. I should think about something else for a minute. Hey, last week I dreamed that Colby and I went shopping for comic books. Seriously. I did. Isn't that the saddest thing you've ever heard? In so many ways? So, back on the show, Landok tries to sort things out. He starts to attack Angel again, thinking that Angel is holding Cary prisoner. Cary assures Landok that he's fine, and then introduces Landok to Angel and company as his cousin. Landok tells Cary, "It was hoped that you had sought atonement by forfeiting your life in the Sacrificial Canyons of Trelinsk." Cary laughs and tries to cut off that line of conversation, but finally admits that he did come to L.A. through a portal. Landok insists that they will return home together, but Cary isn't interested in a family reunion. Landok mentions Cary's mom, and Cary asks if she misses her "little green boo." Landok answers, "She rips your images into tiny pieces, feeds them to the swine, butchers the pigs and has their remains scattered for the dogs." This lady sounds like my kind of grudge-bearer. Cary insists that his pals aren't interested in his black-sheep status (although they are, naturally), and besides, they've got a Drokken to catch. Landok immediately signs himself up for the hunting party. Wesley is glad to have help, and asks how they can kill the Drokken. Landox explains that a weapon "dipped in Thromite" will dispatch the vicious beast. Oh, duh. Thromite. I knew that. Cary says they don't have Thromite handy in this dimension, and Landok worries that the Drokken will be hard to kill. But he can help track it, because "it leaves behind waves of hostility." Angel and the gang prepare to escort Landok to Caritas, so that he can pick up the Drokken's trail. Cary blusters a bit and trails behind them. I try to decide whether this is more boring than the parts with no plot at all. I'm not sure. I'd also like to mention what a pain it is to spellcheck something that has words like "Landok," "Drokken," and "Thromite" in it.
Gunn parks his truck in the middle of nowhere. Rondell is waiting for him. Gunn gets out and suddenly shoves Rondell up against the truck, hissing, "You shoulda waited for me!" Rondell says, "We've been waiting for you for months, bro." Gunn has no response to that, so they begin pulling broken furniture from Gunn's truck, and adding it to the pile of kindling in the open field. Gunn is sad. And alienated and...you know.
Landok kneels to a dead body and announces that the Drokken will be stronger now that it's had dinner. Landok stares into space and waves his hand, and Angel asks Cary what Landok is doing. Cary says that Landok is identifying the Drokken's "aura." He sniffs, "I use that sense to help people find their destinies, and I'm a freak. He uses it to hunt, and he's considered the golden spawn." Cary goes on to describe the "screwed-up values" of his home: "A world of only good and evil, black and white, no gray. No music, no art. Just champions roaming the countryside, fighting for justice. Boring." Angel starts looking wistful as Cary continues, "No one ever admits to having actual feelings and emotions, let alone talks about 'em. Can you imagine living in a place like that?" Angel says, "Not really," but you can tell he's trying. I have a feeling we don't need to imagine it, because we'll see it soon enough. Just a theory. Pardon me while I shore up the load-bearing walls in my living room. Wesley hangs up his cell phone and wonders why Gunn won't respond to their pages. Cordy points out that the last time they went looking for Gunn, Wesley got shot. Oh, good point! Go looking for Gunn, Wesley. He's in danger! Really! Hurry! Oh well, it was worth a try. Meanwhile, Cordy is idly flipping through the big book o' Pig Latin, and whines that they're missing something. Gee, that's hard to believe, given how very observant they are. Landok and Cary start snarking at each other again. It's boring. Cary insists that while the manly men were out hunting and gathering, he was "down at the waterhole, chatting up the señoritas, gathering a little love." Landok accuses Cary of refusing to joust, and Cary explains that he's not a coward; he just saw both sides of the joust, and he couldn't fight someone whose point of view he understood. Listen, all of these details had better turn out to be important in the few episodes, or I'm going to be very annoyed that I took the time to mention them. Landok decides that it's finally time to mention that the Drokken has taken a victim along as a to-go meal. Blipvert ahoy!
The Angelmobile pulls up in a lot containing giant stacks of pallets. Y'know, Gunn and Rondell had a lot of similar pallets in their streetwise pile o' kindling. What a set-dressing coincidence. Angel asks whether Landok is sure that the Drokken is there, and that's when the Drokken wanders past them, lugging a blonde under his arm. Landok's pretty sure, all right. Angel dutifully asks Wesley for instructions, and Wesley hems and haws about a distraction, and mentions that he brought along some flares. Landok is bored by the planning, or the lack thereof, and who can blame him, so he heads after the Drokken. Angel rushes after him, and Wesley grumps, "We don't have a plan!" This part goes pretty fast, thank goodness. Landok attacks the Drokken. The Drokken bites Landok. Angel attacks the Drokken. The blonde runs away -- deeper into the maze of pallets. Wesley and Cary find Landok, and Cary explains that the Drokken bite is poisonous. The only antidote is back in the home dimension. The Drokken knocks Angel down and scurries away. Wesley helps Angel up, and uses flare for some subtle mood lighting. The Drokken watches them from a post on top of the stacks. The Drokken is so much smarter than Angel and Wesley that I really have a hard time rooting against it. Of course, the pallets are smarter than Angel and Wesley. Sigh. Angel and Wesley split up. Much peering around dark corners ensues. Wesley finds the blonde, and then the Drokken finds them both. Wesley sticks his flare in the Drokken's mouth, but it doesn't seem to mind much. Angel rushes in, and there's more fighting. And then Angel neatly puts his sword through the Drokken's neck, earning the episode a "V" for violence. Those ratings codes are so misleading, because it's not gory at all. I'm so disappointed. Everyone heads back to the car. Landok tries to guilt Cary into performing the appropriate rituals in the event of Landok's death, but Cary's having none of that. Cordy excitedly insists that if Landok reads from the book in the right place, he'll be sent home and won't die of the Drokken-bite. Thank goodness, because I was all worried about Landok dying. I've developed such an emotional bond with him, over these past ten minutes.
Gunn, Rondell, and the other Found Boys watch George's body burn on the funeral pyre. Gunn is angst-ridden and alienated and other things that start with "A."
Angel and Cary lead Landok to the stage at Caritas, since that's where the portal is. Was. Whatever. Cordy passes the book over to Landok. Landok compliments Angel for being such a "great and powerful warrior." Angel pretends to think he doesn't deserve praise. Cary tells Landok, "Tell my mother I threw myself into the Sacrificial Canyons of Trelinsk." Landok says, "I feel we will meet again someday," and Cary says, "Oh, God, I hope not," and a couple more anvils begin their descent. I wonder whether I should call my insurance agent and up my coverage before Tuesday. Landok starts reading the magical gibberish. Earthquake, wind, portal, poof. Landok vanishes. Cary asks if they can all forget this ever happened. Why? It wasn't really that embarrassing. Angel and Wesley agree, and the camera pulls back to reveal a notable absence of Cordelia. And they are the ones who're left. Missing her.
Cut to Cordy, lying on the ground of a noisy forest. She stands, notices the two suns blazing down at her, and then spies some strange Blair-Witch mobiles hanging from the trees. She says, "Oh, crap!" I cannot entirely disagree. I just hope she's gone to a dimension where "character development" and "plot" are able to mix freely, instead of staying penned in separate twenty-minute segments.
week, Red Cross Workers help me rescue valuables from the crumbling remains of my home.