We begin the episode with Tyra paying a visit to the Bali model house so she can get the models to talk about their feeeeeeeelings. The first target is Marvin, who has sequestered himself outside and is crying about his close call at elimination. He manages to find solace in Tyra's ample bosom, and then she moves on to the rest of the house. Chris is one of the most dramatic, of course, and says that he's jealous of everybody else's friendships. Nina, who honestly maybe is a little slow, whispers that Chris is her guy, but she's not getting feelings back from him. And then he says she's being too motherly and not a friend and that upsets her even more. Everyone is SO sick of him, and Jourdan goes so far as to call him a horrible human being. Renee sits Nina down to tell her that Chris is not her friend, and it slowly begins to sink in. Throughout the episode, though, her enormous eyes are constantly rimming with tears that could water a rice field.
And speaking of rice fields, they provide the setting for the week's photo shoot. The models wear clothing by Indonesian designers Oka and Rafi, who is an 11-year-old deaf fashion prodigy. Marvin wants to do Rafi proud, and is in fact fantastic in his photo shoot. Renee struggles, Cory nails his shot, and Jourdan falls into rice field water that is full of cobra feces. That has to be karma for the phone incident, right? Chris is a real pain in the ass, and complains about everything from being restrained by his wardrobe to his oversized prop for the shot. Perhaps affected by Chris's bad mood, Nina also struggles and there is a disconnect between what's happening in her face and her body.
There is no challenge this week, meaning that the photos are the sole component in scoring. Perhaps to distract from this scary thought, Tyra sends the models to Ubad for a "Bali chooses you" experience. There is a shaman healer (whom culturally competent Chris calls "an anime character that does spells on people") and an elephant safari park. There is a four day old elephant on site, which is designed to melt the heart of even the most veteran Top Model cynics out there, myself included. Elephant rides also happen, and after some initial resistance Renee kisses Marvin on top of the elephant. It turns out that these two are kind of developing feelings for one another and even earn the celebrity couple name of "Marnee." In the Ubad villa there is only one bed, two pullout couches, and a very short sofa. Nobody wants to sleep with Chris, and he gets weird about it, surprise. Nina finally acknowledges Chris's bad attitude and even says that he should go. Progress!
News of a double elimination rocks the contestants (okay, just Nina) and while Jourdan, Marvin, Cory and Renee all skate through the week, Chris, Nina and Jeremy end up in the bottom three. Nina has the very lowest score of all and so is eliminated first. She cries and cries and cries with her big giant red eyes. And then despite everyone's wild hopes, Jeremy is also eliminated. Now Chris can be the target of even more resentment and dislike, hooray!
We enter with the models post-elimination, heading back to their gorgeous villa, one room of which has been set up with pillows and candles on the floor. Is this going to be some sort of mating ritual featuring Marvin and Renee, the product of which is stolen by Tyra and raised to become the world's newest supermodel? If you see Tyra sporting a Beyoncé-style flattening bump in the few months, be very suspicious. Chris sees this setup and thinks it's time to relax and just meditate. Well, technically it IS time to meditate on what a jerk he is, but we'll get to that in a moment.
Jeremy reminds us that Don and Marvin were in the bottom two, and poor beautiful Don was sent home. Don was generally liked in the house and it's a shame to lose him, but the real crime -- according to Jeremy -- is that Chris got to stay. Meanwhile, while everyone else congregates by the candles, Marvin is by himself outside being very sad. Nina, however, feels good about her status as two-time consecutive best photo winner, and is hearing voices telling her that she needs to be America's Top Model. Those voices likely belong to a producer, whispering to her to say that on camera. Chris tells us that he doesn't think Jeremy is a threat, given his very limited array of poses. Last week, apparently, his peers thought he looked like he was boning his leopard co-star. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Renee pipes in to say, "At least you're not a virgin in photos." Boom! Oh! And thought: maybe Tyra needs the blood of a virgin for her baby-stealing mating ritual? This whole season is finally starting to make sense.
And then Tyra enters in a flowy dress signifying that she's relaxed and of-the-earth now that she's back in Bali. The models quickly tell her that Marvin is upset and by himself on the lanai. Indeed, he is doubled over and crying. Tyra comes up behind him and puts her arms on his back, asking what's wrong. Marvin is so distraught that it takes him a minute to realize that he's being comforted by Miss Tyra Banks, and perhaps there's a chance that she'll hold him like a baby against her bosom. Renee doesn't know what to do in this moment, not because a supermodel is giving her man some soothing touches, but because seeing a man cry is very alien to her. Marvin is having a crisis about why he's there in the first place, as a janitor's son and how he's not proving his worth to the world by killing it in the competition. He's been in the bottom a bunch of times, and feels like he's squandering his chance. Tyra tells him that the judges obviously believe in him, and he can't keep having this defeatist attitude and "poor me I'm a janitor's son" narrative. She wants him to say, "I'm a frigging janitor's son and I'm going to rock this," which is quite a mantra indeed. Tyra reminds Marvin that he's special, and Marvin tells us that talking to Tyra about his feelings was like a dream. He goes inside with her and has a big wet spot on his shirt, which is either tears or jizz.
And then it's time to talk about Bali. Tyra says that the place touched her life in the deepest way. She was stressed and very obsessive about work (some other kind of work, I guess, since she's clearly been phoning it in on this show since season four), and took two months off. She came to Bali and realized that you don't choose Bali -- Bali chooses you. Does Bali pay for your flight, too? Because in that case I'd like to put myself up for consideration. Tyra says that she has some great things planned for them while they're in Bali. Do you think she's counting this episode's double elimination among them?
Tyra then goes around the group so everyone can confess their deepest fears and anxieties. Renee is very frustrated with herself because she always looks more beautiful in person than in her photos. Jourdan really lays it on thick, saying that before this competition she had no self esteem because of her verbally abusive ex-husband and a mentality that she's not good enough. She cries as she talks about how horrible her ex-husband was, and how the opportunities provided by the show have shown her that she does have what it takes. Tyra asks Cory how it feels to be the only gay male. He says that he feels like the black sheep, and that this whole thing was a culture shock for him. People passed judgment on him before getting to know him, and Cory got conditioned to do the same thing to others. Then HE lays it on really thick, telling Tyra that she's been such an influence in his life and to his entire community. Did he really just speak on behalf of the gays? If this were Cher it would be one thing, but I am suspect about his presentation of these accolades.
Jeremy, of course, came back into the competition, and he says he feels like he's slowly getting better. He's trying to figure out how best to use his muscle-laden body in shoots, and Tyra tells him that he has to learn how to do fashion with his body given that his face is not strictly commercial. Tyra then encourages Nina to learn how to use her awkwardness before moving on to Chris. She asks how he's feeling and he says that he's jealous of the friendships that everyone else has. Tyra asks if the others know about this, and Marvin says that everyone is connected in a way, and Chris has been excluded from that. Except, of course, when it comes to Nina, who pipes up to say that Chris is her guy, and he kind of shrugs it off. Tyra asks why Chris doesn't feel that and he kind of ignores it, saying that he's tried reaching out (generally) and doesn't know what else to do at this point. But a tearful Nina says that she tries to reach out to Chris and feels like she's not getting it back. Chris says that he loves Nina and clicks with her the most out of anybody there. But he reached out to her as a friend, and when an incident happened (a flashback tells us he's talking about the time that he pissed her off when everyone was fighting in the kitchen), she said she couldn't watch out for him and was acting more like a mother. Nina seems really taken aback by this, and Renee is even more over Chris than she was before. She interviews that he's the selfish, insensitive person -- not Nina. Nina's eyes get wider than ever and she looks very elfin as she says she didn't know that Chris felt that way. Except that she's been talking about it for weeks now. Oy, those two.
After Tyra leaves, Renee, Cory and Jourdan talk on the porch about how Nina is awesome and Chris is a class A jagoff. He apparently said that Nina isn't there for him (or at least that's how Renee interpreted it), and Renee says that if she had the world's biggest piece of poop she'd shove it in Chris's mouth, given that all that comes out of his mouth is bullshit. And… that's one way to handle the situation. Jourdan adds that every time Chris opens his mouth it's a "poor me" sob story, and says he has two sides. There's the fake side that comes out in front of Tyra, and then the side that is a horrible human being when there's no one around that he cares to impress. Nina comes out and Renee wastes little time in telling her that Chris is not her friend. Apparently Nina consistently defends him to the others, but Renee thinks that Nina needs to defend herself to Chris. Overall, she wants Nina to grow some balls. Nina doesn't want to believe that Chris is that bad, and says that she tends to put faith in people who don't necessarily deserve it. And, I mean… Nina is maybe a little slow. She confessionalizes that she just wants Chris to know that she cares about him, and loves him… as a friend. Get a crush on somebody else! Even Jeremy! There's a point in week eleven where you just need to abandon your savoir complex and let the guy go pop his own zits, you know?
In happier romantic news, Marvin totally HAS FEELINGS for Renee. They snuggle in bed and even kiss in front of Jeremy. Marvin wonders why Renee doesn't like to kiss him as much as he likes to kiss her and she says that she does. You know, he's just a little embarrassing and she's trying to keep it on the low! But that's getting more and more difficult to do since they're now resorting to sharing a bed with Jeremy. The jury is still out on whether Marvin has actually gotten to use that expired condom yet, though. I'm guessing that maybe they've had a "just the tip" moment or two.
And then we are treated to Jeremy telling us in more detail why Chris annoys him. Newsflash: it's because Chris is annoying. Apparently there was some needling of each other based on their relative positions in a parallel line, and Chris also gave Jeremy shit about how he was going to be re-eliminated in the near future. Chris, meanwhile, thinks that Jeremy should be more humble about his status as the eliminated contestant who got to come back. I love how Chris takes pains to make enemies of the people in the house who actually were nice to and/or defended him at some point. Good strategy, bra. Renee comes out to the pool where this discussion is taking place and quizzically asks if they're fighting about who was standing in front of whom. Yes. Yes they are. Cory clutches his pearls and rolls his eyes and wishes he had some popcorn. He loves the lunkhead drama. Jeremy wants to pop Chris, and Chris hopes he does so that Jeremy gets eliminated. All of this makes me miss Phil, who would find a legal way to punch Chris in the nuts right now and then do a backflip.
The contestants head to insanely gorgeous rice paddy fields for their photo shoot. Tyra is there, and tells them that they'll be wearing beautiful green clothes that compliment the Technicolor green environment. The clothes are from two Indonesian designers -- Oka Diputra and Rafi Ridwan. Rafi is a fashion prodigy who put out his first collection at nine years old. He's now eleven, and Tyra tells the models that he's also deaf. Marvin is touched by Rafi's story, and tells us he's not going to let Rafi down.
Tyra does makeup for the shoot, I think because they were trying to cut budget costs for this trip. She tells Marvin that he looks good and glowy, and he says, "Renee helped a lot last night." Renee smiles, but looks like she wants to die underneath. Cory tells Tyra that they've given Marvin and Renee the celebrity couple moniker of "Marnee," since they're so canoodle-y and attached at the hip. Renee says that the Marnee name drives her crazy, because she doesn't want anybody to know that she likes Marvin. Well, maybe don't snuggle him in bed every night in a house with five other people, then? A part of me thinks that Renee schemed this whole romance up just to keep herself on the show, which seems a more enjoyable strategy than being model enemy number one.
Marvin is first to shoot with photographer Jez Smith. Johnny tells him to embrace the environment, and Marvin holds a basket of some sort atop of his head and poses strong. Marvin is feeling good, and says that something about this shoot really clicked for him. Tyra does Renee's makeup and asks for some examples of how she's going to pose. She loves what Renee's doing, and reminds her to be regal and elegant. While Renee poses for the cameras, Chris tells us that he's over Marnee, and this is not America's Top Dater. God, he's so dumb. Johnny says that Renee sometimes struggles with standing out, and becomes this vanilla beauty pageant girl. And you know, I'm surprised we haven't heard more about her pageant history this season given Tyra's love on harping on beauty queens. Jez commends her for experimenting with body shapes, but says that the eyes have to be a part of the picture too. Renee stands there with dead eyes while he says this, which is not a good sign.
The models hang around backstage, and nobody wants to sit to Chris. Marvin tells us that Chris isolates himself to get attention, which is not a particularly good way to go about surviving this competition. Tyra asks Cory to do some poses for her, and he tells us that he's going full-on fierce Cory for this one and not trying to be too masculine. Johnny says that Cory nailed the shoot within five seconds, and really shone. Jourdan then poses on set and falls into the rice paddy water, which is apparently full of cobra feces. Mmm… delicious. Jez says that Jourdan has long limbs and overall worked pretty well, but she's still inexperienced and some of her positions were too extreme. She needs to learn her angles.
The models get to a place called the Elephant Safari Park, which is where they'll be staying for the night. They walk out on to the back deck and an elephant is right there. Renee is freaking out, since she's had recurring elephant dreams of some sort. She tells us that she almost pooped. If she HAD, she would have put that poop in Chris's mouth, as we know. Ahhh, and then there's a baby elephant! All of this joyous news is trumped by the realization that there's only one bed in the house, along with two little pull-out couches. At dinner, Chris proposes that the girls share the big bed and the guys sleep on the pull-out couches. Marvin and Renee give each other looks, and Cory proposes that he sleeps with the ladies in the big bed as a swap-out for Renee. Marvin high fives him, then asks where Jeremy is sleeping. Jeremy points to one of the couches. Chris starts to get peeved because no one is mentioning his name in regard to sleeping arrangements. Nina proposes that Chris take the non-pull-out couch in the bedroom, and Chris gets pissy and walks out of the room. Cory doesn't understand what Chris's damage is, given that they're in freaking Bali and are being spoiled rotten. Chris lies on the couch in the bedroom and says that he doesn't fit on it. He proposes that Jeremy take the bedroom couch and he'll get the pull-out. Jeremy isn't down with that idea, so Chris says that he'll sleep on the floor. Nina offers the bed, and Renee wonders why this whole thing has to be so awkward. Well, because production set it up to be so. Eventually Jeremy agrees to take the short couch and Chris gets his own bed, I think because no one wants to deal with him. Nina says that Chris's bad attitude is at fault, because no one else wants the bad energy around them.
But forget bad energy, for now there is four-day-old baby elephant bliss! And grown elephant bliss! The models are all pretty happy, except of course for Chris, who wears a straw hat and grimaces constantly. Cory tells us that no matter what they do Chris is miserable and it's getting on his nerves. The models then get to go on elephant rides. Are the elephants actually okay with this? I'm not so sure about this place. In any case, each elephant can carry two passengers, and with an odd number that means that someone gets an elephant to him or herself. And you can guess who takes a solo ride. Chris swats at a bee, saying he's allergic. I'm sure someone is crossing their fingers that he forgot his EpiPen.
is Jourdan. Rob starts to say that the photo doesn't look real to him, and Kelly interrupts to sarcastically point out what's wrong -- Jourdan is modeling. But Rob says that Jourdan's pose doesn't match the scenery and is an example of overmodeling. Kelly, however, thinks that Jourdan looks like a beautiful goddess and calls it a supermodel shot. Tyra is loving the angles and the fact that Jourdan looks like a model who is modeling. The photo takes her back to when she was in European magazines, posing in rice paddies. The fans love it and Jourdan is number one in social media scores this week. Jourdan gets a 9 from Kelly, 10 from Tyra and 7 from Rob, who is clearly Team Renee.
Cory is , and Kelly calls his shot absolutely beautiful. She loves the fierce zigzag of his body. Rob isn't crazy about this one either, though, emphasizing again that your posing should match your surroundings and you don't always have to be super high-fashion. He gives an example of what he'd do with a basket on his head. Kelly says that what you cast a Rob Evans for and what you cast a Cory for are different jobs. Tyra agrees, saying that Cory's outfit is begging him to be androgynous, and he hit it outside of the park. Bryanboy is a personal fan, and it seems that the viewers at home like the photo too. Cory gets a 6 from Rob and 9s from Tyra and Kelly.
Then there's Nina, who already looks like she's been crying. Kelly thinks that she looks like a Russian nesting doll in her photo, and says that Nina's face is too crazy-ass carnival for her taste. Rob acknowledges that Nina's dress is hard to work, but he says she got lost in it. Tyra saw Nina work the dress in the styling and makeup room, and did beautiful high fashion shapes. But this photo doesn't capture them. Kelly pipes in again to call it "kooky kabuki." Social media still loves her though. Nina gets 6s from Kelly and Rob and an 8 from Tyra.
Chris is , and before even showing his photo Tyra notes that he looks scared and a hot mess. But he needn't worry quite so much. Rob likes his shot, saying that Chris isn't completely relaxed but isn't overdoing it. Kelly is not so kind, saying that Chris looks like a cross-dresser. Who stole clothes from his mom. Ouch. She doesn't think it's a great example of modeling. Tyra agrees with Rob, though, saying that Chris's photo is natural, but not TOO natural. The fans are also behind Chris, likely because they don't have to live with him. Chris gets a 7 from Kelly and 8s from Rob and Tyra.
Jeremy is , in a muscle-highlighting tank top. Rob tells Jeremy that every time he sees his picture, he's reminded that Jeremy is not a top model but a commercial model. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Kelly thinks that Jeremy looks like a white guy who found a shirt that was dropped to a struggling country through some sort of Save the Children campaign. Give that shirt to a child in need, son! Anyway, Kelly does NOT like it. Tyra reminds Jeremy that he was once a fat kid who got picked on, and now the judges are telling him that he's too big. She wants him to know that his body is beautiful, and that his face is too interesting for him to just be another corny commercial model. She recommends that he slim down the bulk of his arms to match the interesting beauty of his face. Indeed, standing in his tank top at panel he looks kind of like Popeye. Jeremy has a loyal social media fan base, but they're expecting more. Jeremy gets 7s across the board from the judges.
There are seven beautiful models before Tyra, but she has only five photos in her hands. And these photos represent the beauties who are still in the running towards becoming America's Top Model. And the first name she calls is Jourdan. Back on top! She has a fan vote of 7 and total score of 33. Marvin is called with a fan vote of 5.7 and total of 32.7. I should note that the little caption with all the scores that shows up at the bottom of the screen is very confused this week, and apparently wasn't told that there was no challenge. Cory is called with a fan vote of 6 and total score of 30. Nina is already crying and her eyes are SO red, like pools of blood. She should model for our friend from past seasons with the bloody eyeball fetish. Renee is called with a fan vote of 5.2 and total of 29.2.
This leaves Chris, Jeremy and Nina in the bottom three. Chris is in his own way and that angers Tyra. He's such a strong model, but he gets too much in his head, in his head, in his head. Is Tyra revisiting old-school Cranberries here? What does it all MEAN? Then there's Nina. Her last two weeks were so strong and amazing, but the competition is fickle. Sorry! And then there's Jeremy with his amazing body. But he seems a little stuck and not sure how to work his exceptional physicality from H2T. So who has the lowest score? Sadly, it's Nina. She has a high fan vote of 6.9, but her overall score of 26.9 means that she's the first eliminated. Such tears! Chris hugs Nina, and then says that he loves her and if he stays in the competition he'll win it for her. Oh shut up, you. Try being nice to her while she's actually around, and comfort her with tales other than how you're going to win the competition from which she has just been eliminated.
Poor Nina then has to stand around awkwardly while we learn if it's Chris or Jeremy who will also be eliminated. The numbers on the screen flip around, and then we learn that it is in fact Jeremy who goes, with a high fan vote of 6.7, but low overall score of 27.7. Chris is a good bit ahead of him, with a fan vote of 5.5 and overall score of 28.5. Jeremy seems to take it all in relative stride, even though he was bested by a dude in white clam digger pants and suspenders. Tyra goes up to Nina and says she's confused. Nina is too! She apologizes, and says that the whole experience was a dream come true. Tyra tells her that it still is, even though technically we've crossed into nightmare territory. Tyra then hugs Jeremy, saying that he should look in the mirror and also study pictures of Rob to see how he might work his muscles. She adds that his face is too fabulous to just do fitness. Jeremy encourages his fans to take a chance. He did, and he got to go to Bali and be constantly put down by Jourdan. Living his best life! Nina tells us that she's wanted to be America's Top Model since she was eight, which makes me feel very, very old. She was convinced that she'd make it to the end, and thinks it's strange that that didn't happen. But Nina will keep going, and hopefully will stop by the pharmacy to get some Visine on her way.
week: Cory gives Chris shit about Nina, Jourdan has some sort of medical emergency and there is a photo shoot with bats!
Bali has not yet chosen Potes, but if it wants to it can tweet her @traciepotes or email potesypotes@gmail.com.
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