The ongoing motif of this episode is that everybody hates Chris. They start off by hating him really hard for what they think was a fake reaction to Nina's elimination, and Renee goes so far as to say there's a special place in hell for people like Chris. Chris balks but no one else really disagrees. Even Cory yells that Chris treated Nina like shit, and brought her down by encouraging her to take on all his stupid crap. Good thing Chris isn't here to make friends, since he has none. He tries to confide in Marvin, who really wants to stay out of the whole mess, and most emphatically does not want to be Chris's BFFL. Rather, he wants to focus on his relationship with Renee, in which actual feelings are now involved! Whoa!
The challenge has to do with physical fitness, and the show basically turns into The Biggest Loser for a minute, complete with medical emergencies. Cycle 19 winner Laura is there to remind us that she exists, and she and Rob lay out some rules by which the guys and girls are asked to do a variety of workout challenges, culminating with them running 197 steps up a mountain. The first guy and first girl to the top of the mountain win the challenge, and will get to be in a "Fierce Workout" video. Renee takes it in the female bracket, in part because Jourdan temporarily loses her vision and sort of collapses on the ground. A medic is called, and then I guess she's fine. It was VERY dramatic for about 45 seconds, though. Marvin wins among the men, and as a bonus prize he and Renee get to have a spa treatment together. Renee tries not to let all this romance distract her from the competition, but Marvin is all in, evening telling us that the experience massaged his heart. MASSAGED HIS HEART, PEOPLE!
The week's photo shoot takes place in Bali's Bat Cave Temple which, you guessed it, is filled with bats. Marvin is scared, since bats are basically rats with wings. Not only do the models have to pose amongst the bats, but they'll be hanging upside down and wrapped bat-like in some sort of cloak. The bats seem to be the least of the challenge, as many of the models struggle to get an interesting pose while hanging from their feet. Marvin does well, though, and even takes a cue from Cory and tries a few poses that are more androgynous. Jourdan is strained at first but eventually gets it and does well overall. Renee gets a head rush while hanging upside down and becomes our second medical emergency of the episode. She passes out while hanging upside down, but after attention from a medic she seems to be just fine, if concerned about her photo shoot performance. Cory gets the same old "too feminine" critique, while photographer Jez Smith has to clarify for Chris that this is a fashion shoot and they're not actually asking him to just hang there and look like a bat.
Jourdan and Marvin both get great marks at panel, and are the first two to move on to the finals. It's a double elimination, leaving Renee, Chris and Cory to sweat it out amongst them. After Rob gives Cory flak about being too feminine, Cory takes a minute to speak up in his own defense, saying that he owns his androgyny and works it, and is on the cusp of a sea change in terms of what male models should be or look like. Tyra and Kelly both speak in Cory's defense, and he's the third model to move on to the finale. This of course means the end of Marvee, which somewhat tempers the dance of joy that everyone is doing to see Chris eliminated. There is also something to do with "booch blue," "sunrise smize," and "fierce fuchsia" beads, because introducing an element of the nonsensical massages Tyra's heart.
We begin post-panel, as the contestants return to their Bali house and see Jourdan's best-of-week photo displayed as digital art. Renee tells us that she does not like Jourdan's picture one bit, and thought her own very similarly posed picture was better. Renee plans to whip Jourdan's ass, as she plans to do every week. Hope is kept alive because of that one time she succeeded during the go-see challenge. Jourdan's own happiness at being in the top slot, meanwhile, is tempered a bit due to Nina and Jeremy's double elimination. She reminds us that Nina had best photo for two weeks but still managed to get cut, which shows you that you are never safe from the whims of Tyra Banks. (And I know there's the scoring system and all that, but I think we can still dole out both credit and blame to Tyra alone when we can muster up a care about it all). Jourdan invites Cory to share in the Tyra Suite with her. They're not particularly close, but Cory says that they both shared an authentic friendship with Nina. And if you can't bond over Nina's big-eyed child-like ghost, what kind of people are you?
Speaking of Nina, as the group sits in their home Renee says aloud that Nina did not deserve to go home, and neither did Jeremy. Chris stands there with his hand on his chin and asks, "So you think I deserved to go home?" Yes. Yes she does. Renee, who was never a Chris fan to begin with, was really appalled at his reaction to Nina's elimination, which was a bit overdone and, she thinks, fake. Jourdan agrees, saying that Chris has been treating Nina like crap and so all of the other models think that it was a big act. Cory also agrees, telling us that Chris was fake-crying and rubbing his eyes until they were red. They all haaaaaaaaate him with the passion of a thousand blowtorches in a thousand ovens all embedded on the surface of the sun, and Cory goes so far as to say that it's not right that such a heinous person made it this far. Renee then tells Chris that there's a special place in hell for people like him. Whoa! I guess everyone else feels the same way, as Cory says that he wanted to give Chris the benefit of the doubt but what he saw was a performance. I am just WAITING for someone to call bullshit on Chris's family sob story, too.
Chris is puzzled by all the hate coming from Cory, as the two of them have more or less gotten along (or at least not fought) during the competition. But then Cory goes off, saying that Chris brought Nina down throughout the whole competition by forcing her to take on all of his crap. And, I mean, part of that was on Nina for having a savoir complex and not realizing that this guy is a toxic tool who was distracting her from her mission of staring huge-eyed into the camera. Chris starts to say that he grew very close to Nina, and Renee interrupts to say that they're done feeling sorry for him so he should cut the bullshit. Chris dismisses Renee and turns his attentions toward Cory. Cory admits that Chris is a good model, and tells him to rely on that and stop putting on a show. He reiterates that Chris treated Nina like crap, which seems to come as a surprise to Chris. Cory brings up Chris's "betrayal" of Nina, which I guess happened that time on the boat when she couldn't participate in the challenge due to her exploding lung and Chris opted to giggle with Jourdan instead of comforting Nina in her time of need. I mean, that is indeed a dick move but I don't know that I'd go so far as to call it a betrayal.
Jourdan then gets in on the act, yelling at Chris to admit that he doesn't care about Nina. Chris in turn yells that the game is on, and also he's not there to make friends so fuck them all. I think it was implicit that Chris wasn't there to make friends, from the very first day of nut-punching. His attentions turn to the sour look on Renee's face, and he tells her that she's had only ratchet photos and should have gone home a long time ago. Maybe he should have gone home, he yells, but he's still there. And he doesn't need anybody! Not anybody! Neeeeeeeeely O'Haaaaaraaaaaaaa!
As Chris stays inside and pretends to cry, Cory, Jourdan and Renee go outside and talk some more about how terrible he is. Chris isn't sure why they all hate him so much, then wonders if it's because he hasn't let himself go and been the fun, quirky lad that he can be. Riiiiiight. We flash back to Tyra telling Chris that he was in his head, in his head, in his head, in his head, which for some reason made Chris feel better. And I mean, what would all reality shows be without participants who have personality disorders of some type or another? Chris asks Marvin, who was outside taking a swim while all this drama went down, if he feels the same way. Marvin does not want to get involved, but Chris refuses to allow him to abstain. He says he feels alone, and confessionalizes that Nina was the only one in the competition who liked him. Well, then, maybe you should have been nicer to her. He's emotionally drained. Marvin stands there, dripping wet, as Chris says that all of the attacks on him take him back to when his mom would verbally attack him. Oh, Jesus. Marvin is confused, since he and Chris have traditionally not been fans of one another. He says something about manipulating Chris, but I think that's cut and pasted from some other context so am not going to try to figure out what he's talking about.
Meanwhile, Cory, Jourdan and Renee talk about how Chris is an energy-sucking leech, but a strategic one who drains them by sucking them into his own toxic crap. Jourdan acknowledges that Chris has had a rough past, but as a person with her own rough past, she knows that that baggage is better left at home. Except for when you show off that baggage directly to the cameras approximately 300 times over the course of the season.
There is Tyra Mail! "Only the strong will smize. Fierce and love, Tyra." The group quickly comes to the conclusion that this will be some sort of workout challenge, and Cory points out that working out in Bali is difficult because it's so hot. Renee, who is a girl after my own heart, notes that working out in general is difficult. The morning, we see Marvin and Renee cuddling in bed. Renee tells us that Marvin's energy is amazing, and he's unleashed a certain part of her that she's missed for a long time. But it's getting so real -- baby-talking real -- that it's scaring her. Renee is here to win the competition, in part to honor the memory of her grandmother, and tells us that she's not going to let anything stand in her way -- even Marvin's junk.
The contestants arrive at a lovely cliff overlooking the water, and have to walk down what Renee estimates is a billion stairs. Once they're on the beach, they see Rob and meet Cycle 19 winner and fitness instructor Laura James. Laura is back to being brunette, and talks about how important it is for models to stay in good shape. And/or to eat so little that a puff of wind might knock them over. In this workout challenge, the guys will compete against each other, as will the girls, in a series of challenges. The final leg of this challenge will entail sprinting up those billion (or, in fact, 197) stairs. The first guy and first girl to grab a medallion at the top of the stairs will win the challenge and be in the "Fierce Model Workout" video with Laura and Rob. Every part of that sounds like hell, doesn't it?
The first leg of the challenge is something called "jab-jump-pose." It's exercise-y. Marvin is fastest for the guys, and Renee somewhat surprisingly wins for the girls. It doesn't help that Jourdan faceplants right in the sand. For the "H2T jump rope" heat, Cory wins and looks quite nimble in the process. Renee takes it again on the female side. The ladies have their final sprint up the stairs first, and Renee gets a three second head start due to her performance on the first two challenges. The steps are not easy, and Renee starts crawling up them. Jourdan is taking three stairs at a time to catch up, but she can't quite overcome her disadvantage. Renee grabs the medallion and collapses, though is still conscious. Jourdan staggers up to the top of the stairs, but is feeling lightheaded and starting to have blurry vision. She then starts to panic, as you would in such a situation, and sits down on the mat saying she can't see anything. Someone calls for a medic, and then we cut to commercials.
When we return, Jourdan is sitting up but saying that she can't breathe. Renee tells us that she gets that Jourdan is tired, but is perhaps being a wee bit overdramatic because she's mad that she lost. I don't know, she does seem like she could pass out at any moment. The medic puts a cool rag on her head and watches her vitals, then asks if she can see. Apparently she can, and that means she's fine. Crisis over, I guess. So then it's time for the guys to do the sprint. Marvin has the three-second head start, and is followed by Cory. Chris takes up the rear. Everyone has Jello legs, and Cory makes a good attempt at catching up to Marvin. Still, though, Marvin gets the medal. Marnee fitness is coming to you! And to help our winners recuperate, they're getting spa therapy at one of the largest aquatonic pools in the world. Marvin is excited at the prospect of canoodling in a public pool with Renee.
Once at home, Chris, Jourdan and Cory see the challenge scores. Winners Renee and Marvin each got 10s, Jourdan and Cory got 9s, and Chris has an 8. The scores are so close that it's really going to come down to the photo this week. Marvin and Renee, meanwhile, hit the aquatonic pool. It looks awesome, and in fact would be a lovely place for getting love and/or dovey with your paramour. Renee tells us that it was nice that they got to spend some time together, but she's noticed that when she's in a relationship or having sex she doesn't focus as much on the things she needs to focus on. Matters aren't helped by the fact that Marvin calls her an older woman, which in fact she is. Marvin isn't worried about a potential lack of focus. He says that he was relaxed and didn't think about the competition at all, and being there with Renee massaged his heart. MASSAGED HIS HEART! Awww, Marvin is sweet. Except for the constant boners and expired condoms, he'd make a great boyfriend. As a janitor's son, he says, this is all a dream come true.
And then there is Tyra Mail: "By now you should get your shot right off the bat. Fierce and love, Tyra." Cory is wondering if they'll get one take each. In any case, he says, they need to do what they have to do to get Chris out of the competition. Chris may in fact be done in by the sounds that Marvin and Renee make all night. It's disgusting, he says, but also he's jealous. And he's hoping that they'll be so focused on Marnee that they'll forget to do a good job in the competition. Marvin he wants out because he's tough competition, and while Renee is beautiful Chris thinks she's rude, loud, obnoxious, annoying and -- worst of all -- short. How DARE she?
The morning, Cory asks Renee and Marvin if they got funky like monkeys. Renee says she's still tired and Marvin just smiles and says, "I did my job." Cory tells us that he's living in fornication nation, and also how about the modeling? He's away from Anthony, his boyfriend of nine months, but we see them video chat as Anthony gets ready for a drag competition and/or production of Cats. Based on social media, Cory says that some people really love what he's doing and some don't, but he's proud of himself. To anyone who feels insecure, he says, you can be a queen and still be athletic, or still be fierce, or still be America's Top Model. The moment that Cory shows up on RuPaul's Drag Race I am going to lose my shit.
The models arrive at a beautiful temple, where Jourdan hears a very high-pitched squealing sound. It turns out that that sound is a million motherchucking bats! And that's because they're at the bat temple. Johnny holds a bat from his hand as he tells the models that they'll be posing with their new bat friends. Renee looks none too thrilled, and Marvin tells us that bats are like rats with wings and he is freaked out. But wait, there's more! Like bats, they'll be suspended in the air and will have to pose upside down. Jez Smith is on hand again to do the photographing. He tells them that they'll have to use their core strength to hold beautiful positions while hanging upside down and wrapped in bat-like fabric.
As the contestants head to hair and makeup, Jourdan tells us she's feeling the stress of needing to do a really good job. She grew up in the small town of Bend, Oregon without a lot of money, but now that she's been to Bali she wants to continue to travel the world and look pretty for cameras. Chris tells us that he's gotten this far alone, and that's where his strength is. He hasn't had best photo for a while, but tells us that he's ready to pull one out this week and prove that he deserves to be in the competition. Cory says that he and all of his friends have to do well so they can send Chris's ass home. Cory adds, "I can't even look at him." Renee is nervous, but Marvin tells her not to stress it since when he wins the competition he's going to take care of her. She cracks up, and Jourdan wonders how being in the competition is going to affect their relationship, especially if/when one of them is eliminated. They really do look happy as can be, though. Marvin says that his confidence is at an all time high -- he's got the girl (and can stop wasting energy going from lady to lady with an expired condom in his hand), has challenge wins under his belt, and overall is in a pretty great position.
Or, he WAS in a great position until the crew hangs him upside down for his bat shoot. Marvin reminds us that he DOES not like bats, then says that their wings are like skin which is about the grossest thing I've ever heard. And what hell bats are these that can just be hanging out in broad daylight? Marvin tells us that he was trying to keep his cool and give as many masculine poses as possible, but couldn't help to give a "Cory" pose. He says it was cool, and he understands why Cory favors "androgyny poses" since you get to make awesome shapes with your body instead of standing there like Popeye with a muscle popping out. Jez and Johnny seem to really like what Marvin is doing, and Renee agrees that it's looking good.
Jourdan is up in a red bat-outfit. Just walking in it she looks so gangly and odd, but once she's upside down…well, things get worse. Bats start screeching, and Johnny and Jez have to tell her to open her eyes. They note that she looks lost and strained. But then of course she pulls it together and starts to make amazing shapes with her body and Jez loves it. Renee tells us that Jourdan looked beautiful and gorgeous, and of course she's not thrilled about it since she wants to beat Jourdan's tall ass. Renee is up , in a light purple bat-ensemble, and tells us she's ready to start eliminating people and particularly Chris. When she starts, Jez and Johnny shout that it's beautiful and amazing. They tell her to change positions, but apparently she's stuck and is basically using the same pose for every frame. Part of this might be because blood is rushing to her head and she's starting to feel a wee bit off. Johnny tells her that she doesn't have to scrunch up all the time, since it's nice to be hung and long. And then we cut to Marvin. Heh. But he isn't able to jump on a penis joke as he normally would since he's concerned about Renee's performance. Johnny says that Renee wasn't listening to direction as well as he would have hoped. As we hear various bits of direction being told to her and bats screeching, Renees vision starts to get fuzzy. And then she passes out! We see medics unhook her and lay her down on the ground as Jourdan, Marvin and Johnny stand around and look concerned. I'm sure Chris is on the sidelines somewhere doing a tiny little dance of joy.
After a commercial, Renee tells us that she wasn't sure how she got from one place to another after passing out, but when she opened her eyes she was laying down. And then she started to feel a bit better. Chris tells us that Renee was being overdramatic, and then we see Marvin giving her comfort and snuggles, still in his bat costume. Awwwww.
Chris is in a blue bat-outfit, and tells us that he's in survival mode. He doesn't really have a home to go to, so he's intent on taking a good photo and coming out on top. He hangs there, expressionless, and Johnny just says, "…You're not doing…anything." Chris explains to us that he was posing like a bat. E.g., he was just hanging there and not doing anything. Jez calls action and Chris does nothing AGAIN, and they're like, "…Change positions, you dolt." Johnny tells him to push it and wonders why he's just hanging there, and Chris tells them that he wants to look like a bat. Jez asks the crew to bring him down, and clarifies that they are not, in fact, asking him to be a bat. They want him to be a fashion model on a fashion shoot. Johnny gives some examples of what they want him to do, and Chris is hoisted up again. And then he seems to get it, and Jez and Johnny like what he's doing. Cory tells us that even though Chris's shoot went wonky, he could hit one great pose and that would be his best photo. Jourdan, Cory and Renee look on sullenly as Chris starts to do well. Johnny tells us that the camera loves Chris and they always manage to get something good, but it shouldn't be quite so hard.
Finally there's Cory, who's ready to werQ with a capital Q. Jez tells him not to get too feminine, which is a new and surprising bit of direction for Cory. Cory is hung in his turquoise bat-outfit, and Johnny tells him to keep it strong and masculine. But Cory tells us that the way he looks lends itself to femininity, and he's just going to own it, with a bit of masculinity mixed in for balance. Jez tells us that Cory moves in quite a feminine way, but as a male model you really have to appeal to men. What about all the feminine men? Cory actually seems to be really strong, as he holds a bunch of poses that Jez considers risky. Cory prays that he has an awesome shot, and not just so that he can send Chris home.
Back at the house, Renee feels defeated and Cory tells her not to beat herself up for falling ill. He was impressed with what she was doing, but that's not enough to comfort Renee. She cries and feels helpless, and also wonders if Chris will be going home. There's skull mail, which doesn't say how many people are staying or going. The models are concerned that another double elimination is afoot. And they are right! It's always pretty impressive when they correctly apply deductive reasoning.
And then we're at panel, where Tyra and Jourdan are wearing quasi-matching outfits. There are prizes, there are judges. And there is indeed a double elimination pending! Jourdan is up first for evaluation. Kelly loves everything about the shot except for Jourdan's deformed claw of a hand, which is in fact very bat-like. Rob thinks the shot is amazing and loves how awkward her body looks. He says it's typical high fashion. Tyra is impressed that Jourdan is tooching upside down, which is apparently called upbooching. The face is great, too. Bryan says that the fans loved everything about the shot, too. Jourdan gets 9s from Kelly and Tyra and a 10 from Rob.
Cory is . Kelly loves a lot about the photo, saying that he really brought high fashion in the articulation of his hands. Rather than H2T modeling, this is T2H, which is a good thing. Rob, however, isn't a fan. He says it's too feminine, and adds that they tell this to Cory week after week but he gets brainwashed by Tyra and Kelly and their fierceitude. If Cory goes onto a set presenting himself the way he does, says Rob, people will think he's the makeup artist. Kelly yells that it depends on the brand, but Rob says he's coming at this with the perspective of a male model, and the photo is not working. Cory respectfully interrupts to speak a word on his own behalf. He says that he loves to work his androgyny, and his passion for modeling really developed after he started seeing more androgynous photos. In the past few years, more of that has been coming to the forefront. Tyra tells Cory that there will be polarity around his career, because there are people who don't care for it, like Rob, and people who care for it quite a bit, like Kelly and Tyra. She says that he's bursting open doors, and it's part of his job to change people's minds. Also, Tyra loves the photo and says that even Cory's knees are modeling. Cory gets a 6 from Rob, 8 from Kelly, and 10 from Tyra.
is Renee, and Rob likes her body but doesn't care for her duck lips. Kelly thinks that she looks like a kite that got caught around an electrical cord rather than a model. She wonders how many rolls of film they'd need to shoot to get a good picture of her, and in turn how much money that would cost a client. Tyra thinks that Renee is better than this picture, which is very amateur and "week one." Renee's social media score actually went up, though that might not be saying much. Renee gets 7s across the board.
Then there's Chris. Rob is not impressed, and Kelly says that he looks like a toddler who escaped with his Halloween costume on. Tyra, however, thinks that Chris's face looks insanely gorgeous. There was some improvement on Chris's social media scores, and one fan says that Chris looks like a superhero. Chris gets a 7 from Kelly and 8s from Rob and Tyra.
Last up is Marvin. Kelly loves the shot, saying that he looks like the chief bat in a gorgeous castle, who can also turn into a hot guy in the middle of the night and eat you alive. Marvin just smiles his big smile and says, "That's very detailed," which almost killed me. Rob talks about Marvin's amazing bone structure, but Bryanboy interjects to say that he gives the same face over and over. Tyra loves the face, though! Marvin's cheekbones actually make her fall out of her chair and Rob has to help her up. All of the judges give Marvin a 9.
All of the scores are added up, and the five models stand before Tyra. She only has three photos in her hands, however, and they represent the finalists who will walk in a fashion show representing the designs of two Indonesian designers. So who has the highest score and best photo? It's Jourdan, with a fan vote of 7 and total score of 44. Tyra talks about the important role of social media in getting Jourdan to the finals, and then hands her a string of orange beads. Oh, I'm sorry, not orange -- they are "sunrise smize." And all of Jourdan's fans, apparently, will be rocking sunrise smize. Can anyone tell me what this actually means? I am highly confused about the beads. Marvin is the second finalist, and is notified that his fans will have to rock "booch blue" to show their support. It's like Tyra Banks always has a chance to NOT be dumb, but never takes it. Marvin had a fan vote of 5.7 and total score of 42.7.
Chris, Cory and Renee step forward. Three beautiful models stand before Tyra, but she only has one photo in her hands. And that photo represents the third finalist who will be competing with Marvin and Jourdan. Chris had a ton of potential and started strong, with great photo shoots week after week. And then they got weaker and weaker and weaker. Tyra says that he stands in his own way, and doesn't let his magnificent amazingness shine through. It's never good when she improvises. Then there's Cory, the beautiful man of androgyny (????) who has created such polarity on the judging stage, as well as polarity with social media. The judges wonder if he's before his time, and if maybe the world isn't ready. One thing I know for sure is that the world is not ready for booch blue. Finally, there's Renee. She's beautiful and striking and strong, but struggles with how to put that together. Tyra says that she hasn't learned to master her face yet and it's too late in the game. But when she does manage to get a decent-faced photo, it's magical.
The scores all flip around on the screen, and we learn that the first model to be eliminated is Renee. She had a fan vote of 5.5 and total score of 36.5. Tyra tells Renee to learn how to put her face in a photo, because it's magnificent. Renee goes and hugs Marvin, then tells us that she's a little heartbroken. However, she doesn't have regrets since she tried her best. She wishes her grandmother was here to see how far she made it. Then Renee says that she'll miss Marvin, who makes her feel like a total mess in a good way. She says she's fallen for Marvin, wishes she could have kissed him one more time, and hopes that he wins.
Tyra then asks Chris if he's ready to compete to be America's Top Model. He says he's definitely ready. Tyra then asks Cory if the world is ready to see him compete. Cory in turn says that he wants to make them ready. In both cases, I think these were rhetorical questions. In any case, the god of booch blue has shone down upon Cory, Marvin and Jourdan because it is Chris who is eliminated with a fan vote of 5.7 and total score of 36.7. Cory stays in the competition with a fan vote of 5.2 and total of 38.2. Cory cries and Tyra tells him that he's going to make 'em ready, and can have a real impact if he's successful. He gets some fierce fuchsia beads to help him on his journey. Chris hugs Tyra and thanks her for the opportunity. She tells him that he let himself down, and this is all his doing. He has to go to bed tonight knowing that this is all in his control, no excuses. Chris tells us that the competition got the best of him, and he was too in his head. He feels like a failure, saying that he's been the bad guy throughout the competition, which is the same thing that happens all the time. He's disappointed with the outcome, and says he might put modeling on the backburner for a while. That's the spirit!
week: Old contestants are back! Cory has to make out with Jourdan! And Tyra has a very important announcement to make, perhaps in some sort of old-timey western saloon.
Potes is going to make 'em ready. She can be tweeted @traciepotes or emailed at potesypotes@gmail.com.