We're down to the final four! In case you're wondering, Angelea is still mad about how all the hating-ass bitches ganged up on her. She is very persistent in her anger, at the least. The ladies learn that they have to write an "audition" blog for Franca Sozzani, who oversees the Vogue Italia empire including vogue.it, for which the ultimate winner will write as part of her prize package. Their assignment is to choose an outfit, find an inspiring spot in which to take photos, and write a post that includes said photos. They have drivers and translators at their disposal, and have to say where they'd like to be taken for their various photo ops. Angelea wants to go to the ghetto, Allison asks to find an abandoned building, Laura would like to find a boat dock, and Lisa requests that the driver go to the place where he'd take his girlfriend to make love. Does she really have to be so grody all the time? The girls snap their photos and head back to the house, but have limited time to write their blogs. Nigel comes and collects what they've done so far, and ships it to Franca. She declares Angelea the winner for her blog about fashion, graffiti, and the mean streets. Lisa scoffs. Angelea's reply? "Hate on, bitches."
Meanwhile, the girls head to their supersized "motion editorial" slash purgatorial advertisement for Tyra Banks' new memoir, Modelland. Tyra herself will direct. She explains that Modelland is all about how she, when she was a teenager named Tookie (yes, I just said Tookie), attended a modeling school on top of a mountain. In chapter after chapter we follow Tyra/Tookie on her journey of embracing her own unique beauty, and realizing that learning to love yourself (and smizing! And a touchable booty!) is the greatest love of all. Each of the final four models will play a different version of Tookie, in some sort of outlandish outfit. The shoot will last for two days, and the final motion editorial will be shown over the course of two panels. That's how long it is!
So, the motion editorial shoot. I have not yet read Modelland, though a kind and hilarious friend did get it for me as a birthday present. If I had, I might understand what words such as "Chapter 36: All Hail Creamy" mean. Basically, the models all run around in dresses looking deranged. At one point, Laura has to spray whipped cream directly in her mouth, which does not help with the "too sexy" thing one bit. They might as well have had her use a Shake Weight. Allison again has problems with her vampire eyes, and also wears a cat costume, and then kind of bobs around a blood orange for a while. I don't know. Angelea has to film an emotional scene that has something to do with self-worth, which makes her cry. Tyra tells her to let it out, and put it into the scene. Acting!
The second day of filming involves co-star and male model Tyson Beckford. Tyra gets in on the action, filming a scene with Tyson in which she recreates the first time she sucked a boy's thumb. A local mountain goat walks by and is like, "The fuck?" He steals the whole episode. The ladies have to film a final shot that will be used when the season's winner is revealed, and Allison's eyes actually melt right down her face.
We see the first part of the video at panel, and I think it gave me a seizure. Angelea gets big ups for her crying scene, and big laughs for her awkward running. Laura is too conscious of the cameras and also too sexy with her mouth full of whipped cream. Allison is good, but needs to figure out her eye situation. Lisa is good at the acting bits, but terrible as a human being who chose to dress herself in neon green bike pants. With such reviews, you can see why the judges had the longest deliberation ever! It took them one and a half hours to figure out whether to boot Allison or Laura. And if you thought nothing could be sadder than Tyra Banks pretending to be a 15 year old sucking a boy's thumb, then you haven't seen Laura get eliminated for a second time.
This week we don't even get a "previously on!" That's because a return to the recent past wouldn't include a plug for the premiere of a fashion film based on Tyra Banks' New York Times best selling novel Modelland. The fact that Tyra Banks has a book on the New York Times best seller list makes me want to scream, "What a world! What a world!" like the melting Wicked Witch. And join the Occupy movement. And become a communist. And build a shrine to Naomi Campbell in protest.
We're still in Crete, and the final four ride in their post-elimination mini-bus. They congratulate Angelea, who once again narrowly escaped being cut. She was saved only by what's-her-name's unmemorability. Immemorability? Unmemorableness? Anyway, Angelea is not saddened by what's-her-name's elimination, because she was a hater. We see what's-her-name giving Angelea a pointed critique at last week's challenge, and Lisa joining in because she thought it was "Bash Angelea Day." In all fairness, that's what it said on her ANTM-sanctioned calendar. We relive Angelea storming out of the room in sepia-toned flashback. Any scene that contains the exit line, "Y'all bitches," should automatically be sepia-toned. It adds a certain type of poignancy. Angelea points out that her persistence need not be called into question, because she's still here, dammit. Meanwhile, Lisa thinks that Angelea's emotional outbursts are part of a pattern. There may be more emotional outbursts to come, she warns. That's like a beacon of hope for us. As Lisa says that it's survival of the fittest and she goes the distance, we head to the opening credits.
The girls return to their abode to find Laura's best-of-week archery photo displayed as digital art. She's quite happy about the whole thing, which must foretell doom at the end of the hour. Sigh. We flash back to Laura learning that she is the runner-up -- and not the winner -- of Cycle 13, and it is the saddest three seconds of our collective lives. I mean, she was just so heartbroken, breaking down in a little southern sweet heap to Bloody Eyeball. She says that it's a huge deal to be on the all-star cycle, because she's always been a farm girl. To wit, we see Laura interacting with various cows and goats. She says that opportunities like this one don't happen to people where she comes from, then smiles and puts her hands over her very glassy eyes. Her tearful interviews are really what gave away her "toast" status throughout the episode. She says that she has the strength and confidence to be the winner, and it truly could be her this time. Except that it isn't, and she knows it, because her nose is all stuffed up. Sadness. We cut to Lisa, who says that Laura is her biggest competition. But...last week Lisa said that Laura was nobody's competition! Shut up, Lisa. We are reminded that Laura is continuously sexier than she is supposed to be. I think her problem is just that she has looked through way too many Victoria's Secret catalogs in her little farm girl life, and so is automatically going to make a blow job face when put in a giant bowl of Greek salad on the beach. It's like muscle memory at this point. Lisa adds that Laura also doesn't have as much experience as she does. That's because she's not 2,000 years old. Stifle, Methuselah.
The ladies head to a boutique called Vendemma, where Nigel awaits. He reminds them that the winner of this cycle gets to write a blog for Vogue Italia's web site. Someone didn't think that one all the way through, right? Today, the ladies will be auditioning for their future boss, Vogue Italia editor-in-chief and skeleton-in-charge, Franca Sozzani. They've all been in Crete for a few weeks and have seen the culture and the fashion, and Nigel wants the models to each write a blog that talks all about it from their personal perspectives. Their first task is to pick an outfit from Vendemma. Then they'll meet up with their driver and a guide, and are tasked with finding an inspiring spot anywhere on the island. Then, the ladies must take photos, one of which has to include themselves. Finally, they'll go back to the hotel, where they'll write their blogs. All of this must be accomplished in three measly hours. The best blogger will win a seven-night trip for two to Crete, with lodging at the Blue Palace resort and spa.
The challenge begins, and the girls start digging through the clothes in the store. Allison tells us that she's excited about the blogging challenge, but also nervous because there are so many big personalities left in the competition. In high school, Allison was an introvert with a minimal number of friends. Since cycle 12, she says, it's been brought to her attention that she might be a little bit strange. That was the most guileless delivery of sarcasm that I have ever seen! Amazing. But Allison intends to win the competition this time around. I think we can all back her on this one. If this thing comes down to a Lisa / Angelea final two, we're all going to be thrown into a very painful existential crisis.
Lisa is first in a van with her guide and driver, and wants the driver to take her where he'd take his girlfriend to make love. Lisa is going to have a great time in that studio apartment, I'm sure. Angelea, who has managed to find a giant pink hat, tells us that she's never written a blog before. However, she's going to school for broadcast journalism (when she's not being on various cycles of America's Top Model), so this is kind of in her wheelhouse. She asks her guide, "Do you know what a ghetto is?" 716 to the core, baby! Allison, who has some sort of leopard-print hood coming out of her hat, asks her driver to take her to an abandoned building. Isn't that how all of these "missing young white girl tourist" stories start? Thank goodness for the cameras. Meanwhile, Laura is still at the boutique! She thinks that getting the right outfit is the key part of writing a blog. Spoiler: Laura does not win this challenge. Laura asks her driver to take her to a boat dock. She reminds us that she has her own blog, but it's mostly pictures. Laura has been dyslexic her whole life, so the writing part is difficult. Nigel knows this, and Laura hopes that he'll take it easy on her.
Lisa makes her first stop, at a place called River Club. She tells us that she wants to write a blog about what people are actually interested in, like what the best clubs and restaurants are. That's actually a pretty decent strategy, if you don't get all Goop about it. Laura pulls up to her location to find that Allison is already there. A boat dock with an abandoned building! What are the chances? Laura goes right around the corner and poses on a rock, like a little southern turtle. Angelea tells us that this challenge is very important to her, and she hasn't won a challenge yet. She finds a more urban area of Crete, and it feels like home to her. Angelea tells us that she comes from a rough place, and that people can relate to her because she's been through so much. She poses to a wall with some Grecian graffiti, then hightails it to the house. I think that her urban core strategy is very smart, and gives her the edge of making it all a little more personal.
The girls head back to the house to write their blogs, and Allison is last to arrive. Nigel arrives to take their final product, and everyone seems like they could use more time. He tells that he's going to take their blogs to Franca, the two of them will discuss, and he'll announce the winner tomorrow. In the words of Angelea, "If you can't write a blog for vogue.it, you might not be winning all-star, okay?" With these ominous words -- and an ominous preview involving the words "best-selling book Modelland" -- we head to commercials.
When we return, there is Tyra Mail: "You want to be there. You know you do. Don't lie, dahling. THE DAY OF DISCOVERY is upon us. Can you find your SMIZE? Fierce and Love, Tyra." So, that is like the haiku version of what the Modelland video shoot is going to be like. You will run the gamut of emotion from, "Huh?" to "What the fuck?" The girls head in their van to the set of one of Greece's most popular television series, The Island. Jay Manuel tells them that they should be very excited, because they'll be directed in a motion editorial by none other than Miss Tyra Banks. Tyra shows up in her raggedy wig, distinctly unglamorous and ready to work. She tells the models that she's been working on something for the past four to five years. Which: HA. It might have taken her four years to find a ghostwriter willing to take on this insanity, but: girl, please. Haters gonna hate, which is cool, because they are my people. Tyra whips out a copy of Modelland, which I am here to tell you is a thick-ass book. In today's motion editorial, the girls will be bringing Modelland to life.
Jay then fellates Tyra for a while by talking about how the book is a New York Times best seller. The knife, it twists and turns. Tyra explains that Modelland is about a modeling school on the top of a mountain. Very few girls get to attend Modelland. And boy, are they mean to the Muggles! Er, "Nuggles." The main character is named "Tookie." Yes, Tookie. So, basically this whole thing is Harry Potter meets Facts of Life. We can only hope for a Cousin Jeri cameo. Tookie is of course inspired by Tyra's own teen self. She's gangly and awkward and calls herself a "forget-a-girl." When Tyra gets early onset Alzheimer's, this is exactly what it's going to sound like. Tyra tells us that Modelland is a fun, campy, fantastical romp through Tookie's journey of friendship and bullies and embracing her own unique beauty. Each model will represent different versions of Tookie in the motion editorial. Jay explains that the whole thing will be shot out of order, like a real movie, and that they'll be shooting for two days. The actual finished product will be shown both this week and week in judging. Too much pork for just one fork, I guess.
The girls head back to hair and makeup, and Michael Cinco is there to outfit them in his crazed designs. The girls begin to shoot their first scene, which is labeled, "Chapter 20: Run and Gun." All of them are wearing yellow dresses with very long trains, and I think they're maybe racing to gain access to Modelland. It takes 20 chapters to get to that? Maybe Tyra did write this herself. The girls run and Lisa screams at the camera for a while, and then Tyra has to tell Angelea to run like a normal person and not like an idiot trying to look like she's running normally. It's very confusing. Each girl shoots a few scenes on her own, and we see Lisa's first. It is labeled, "Chapter 36: All Hail Creamy." I mean... I don't even know, you guys. I am so confuzzled that I can't even make a joke about it. I literally have no idea what's happening. Lisa has a baby doll in the "All Hail Creamy" scene, and Tyra says that Tookie's mother is obsessed with a doll named Bellissima. Oh, well that explains it. She's also deranged, but clearly not as deranged as Tyra Banks. Lisa kind of makes love to the baby with her face, then holds it out of a doorway like she's Michael Jackson on the balcony with Blanket. Jay says that Lisa knew how to work that doorway. So far in Greece, they've worked doorways and salad. It's a real resume building experience. Tyra tells us that Lisa has an intensity, and is super strong and super focused. Can you believe she actually might win this thing? It's, like, opposite day and shit. "Chapter 45: Day Opposite."
, we see one of Laura's individual scenes. She narrates the scene as such: "A boy that Tookie is in love with wears a button, and it ends up in the garbage." Like your copy of Modelland! This scene is labeled, "Chapter 1: TO OKE." Laura flings trash everywhere, and Jay explains her performance as both frightening and comedic. He tells her that crazy is a good thing, but if you're looking for something in the trash, you're probably not going to fling shit all about. Jay and Tyra note that Laura is turning the stylized and fantastical shoot into Saturday Night Live sketch. Eventually, though, Laura finds her button. She has trash all over her face and shit. I don't know. Then Laura shoots another scene, which is a total set up. Tyra explains that Tookie is in love with not only rummaging through trash, but whipped cream. Just like Tyra herself! Laura is instructed to lay across a stone staircase, and squeeze whipped cream all over her face. She knows that it will be a challenge to make this lovable rather than pornographic. Laura squeezes the whipped cream in her mouth, and Tyra doesn't help matters by yelling, "Don't swallow! Don't swallow! Don't swallow! Spit spit spit spit." Well, now we know where she stands on those matters. Sadly for Laura, the whole thing is really disgusting. She just can't win on this one. All hail creamy, indeed.
, all of the girls participate in, "Chapter 3: DA-TAHHHH!" Then they film "Chapter 9: BZZZ," which involves swordplay and nunchucks. The models are filming outside in the sun, which means that Allison's eyes are falling out of her head. Tyra instructs her to squint. What a novel solution. Jay says that he doesn't know if Allison will stand out in the piece, because her eyes are causing so many problems. Speaking of Allison, she gets dressed up in a pretty rad cat outfit for her solo scene, "Chapter 25: One Bee-Yotchhh (Catwalk Corridor)." Why do so many words have extraneous letters? Tyra explains, "In Modelland, Catwalk Corridor is where all the bad intoxabellas -- otherwise known as supermodels -- get sent, and they get turned into cats." Oh, okay. There is an actual kitten involved, which helps matters greatly. Allison says that this whole thing is like a dream come true, and she can relate to some of the bizarre concepts in the film. Allison tooches her feline booty. Then Allison shoots, "Chapter 14: Arancia Rossa Di Sicilia." Tyra explains that all of Modelland smells like blood oranges, which is one of Tyra's favorite scents. It takes a special kind of egomaniac to envision a world that smells like her random favorite scent. Allison puts a blood orange by her mouth some, and then gets painted with blood on the lip. That apparently comes from a cat scratch, and as you can imagine Allison + blood = happiness.
, we see Angelea and Tyra discussing "Chapter 7: X-O-2." Tyra says it's a very emotional scene, in which Tookie expresses her pain at feeling unloved and unwanted. Tyra holds something that represents Tookie's pain at her father saying that she's not his, and she's not good enough, then asks, "Do you have any issues with that?" SUBTLE! Angelea takes the bait, and tells us that Tyra gave her this scene for a reason. She starts to cry, and tells Tyra that if she weren't on ANTM all-stars, she doesn't know where she'd be. After Cycle 14, Angelea gave up when things got too hard. Tyra tells Angelea to put all of her emotion into the scene. Angelea is doubting herself, because she's had to fight harder than all of the other sneaky bitches on set. She asks, "Why not me?" and says that she has the goods, too. Angelea looks out of a ladder and, with a face full of tears, whispers, "I'm Tookie." Lisa looks on and tells us that Angelea's heart is in it, but she's still too fragile to survive in the modeling and/or entertainment business. But Angelea says that when she wants something she fights her hardest, and she can't afford to let it wear her down. With those words of persistence, we head to commercials.
When we return, it's time for Nigel and Franca Sozzani to have a heart-to-heart about which model is going to be Italy's blogging superstar. They talk about Allison's piece called "Pumpkin and Persephone." Franca notes that it's short, and in fact is almost like a quote. Nigel thinks it's too highfaluting, with its talk of finding inspiration in Persephone's demise. Franca says that Laura went a little deeper than Allison, but didn't make interesting points. Franca Sozzani does not subscribe to the "more flies with honey" philosophy. She does think Laura has a certain sexy something, and Nigel points out the whole virgin/whore thing that she's got going on. Lisa's piece, "VIP in Crete and Greece" is for the critique of these literary giants. Franca likes Lisa's concept of a Hollywood girl hanging in Crete, and says that it would have been good if Lisa had compared the two types of fashion. Then there's Angelea. Franca likes her blog, as does Nigel. He particularly enjoys her passage about how the rugged streets and graffiti reminded her of the 716. However, Nigel points out that Angelea can be kind of explosive, and Franca says that's not safe. Nigel asks Franca who she'd hire and why, and she just says, "It's so difficult." I'm sure she means it's difficult because none of them are very good. How great would it be if Franca Sozzani gave an, "I choose me" speech right now?
Nigel returns to the model house with news of the challenge winner, who will also get a special something from the hotel. Nigel tells Laura that her piece wasn't gripping enough. Allison's blog was too short. Angelea talked about fashion well and had a good photo. Lisa's blog had great personality. But only one person can win. And it's Angelea! Angelea waves her hands all around and puts on the little crown she got from the hotel. "Hate on, bitches!" she confessionalizes. Indeed.
With that it's time for day two of the motion editorial. Jay introduces co-star and special guest Tyson Beckford, supermodel, actor, and bearer of impressive abs. There is an influx of hormones. He talks to the ladies backstage, and Laura is impressed that Tyson is actually a pretty nice guy. Allison is a bit quieter than the others, and unlike Game, Tyson does not fall immediately in love with her. Angelea hugs Tyson, and holds on juuuuust a bit too long. I hope for his sake that she doesn't find out his address.
We then cut to Tyra posing by some rocks for "Chapter 18: La Lumiere." She says some shit, and I can't even pretend to know what she's talking about. She's wearing a body suit with all sorts of words across it, and then is maybe choked by the wind or something. No one can say for sure! Tyra and Tyson then get to enact a scene together. Tyra explains it as such: "She's really nervous, she's never kissed a boy before. So I have to, like, suck your thumb. I'm going to do the...editorial version of that." I have but three words for that: "Chapter 24: W.O.W." It's about as hot and/or charming as you'd expect it to be, which is not at all. Occupy The CW, people, things are getting out of hand.
The girls then get to work with Tyson in the opening scene of the whole film, in which they are in they are in their yellow dresses. It's called: "Chapter 8: Welcome to T-Dod." This whole thing makes me feel viciously ESL. Tyson stands up on a cliff and waves a flag as the models have to run up a stone staircase. This does not work so well with their giant trains. A mountain goat is all, "There goes the neighborhood." We feel you, Mr. Mountain Goat. We really do. With about 25 minutes left to film, there is a very important shot that must take place. It is the shot that will reveal who is America's Top Model. All of the girls must shoot the scene, because Tyra and Jay "don't know" who the winner will be. Laura gets chills as she tells us that this is the most important thing they've done in this whole competition. Actually, I'd say it's the least important thing, since it won't be judged at all. The ladies have to pull a mask from their faces, and then hold a pose. Tyra instructs Allison not to wipe her red and watering eyes. I feel like this trip to Greece is actually giving Allison retinitis pigmentosa. And that's a wrap! Thank God, my brain is so close to actually melting.
Back at the house, the ladies get Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone is going home. Laura says that she'll be devastated if she's cut, since she has so much more to lose now. She may be sweet and country, she says, but the others shouldn't doubt her. Angelea says that the others may have underestimated her, but she can come like a thief in the night to kill this competition and win it. And with that probably-true prediction, we head to commercials. Although, you know, Angelea has been SUPER salty about this show on Twitter, so maybe she doesn't win after all. Oh God, please let it be Allison. I just don't think I can handle the alternative.
When we return, it's panel time! There are prizes, there are judges. Tyson Beckford is the guest judge, and is unfortunately wearing clothes. Tyra introduces Part 1 of the Modelland motion editorial. My concise review is, "It gave me a seizure!" Also, Allison with the blood orange wins. The thumb-sucking scene is included in its entirety, and the whole thing ends with each of the models -- including Tyra! -- saying, "I'm [so and so]. I'm Tookie." At least those are actual words. Mostly.
Angelea is up first for critique, and says that she related to the hurt and pain that she portrayed on camera. And then Tyra, modest as always, says, "She had a very serious emotional breakthrough with me." Yes, speaking the words "I'm Tookie" provided the equivalent of 15 years of therapy with a trained professional! Let's all try it! Tyra says that once Angelea opened up, she was more beautiful than ever before. Nigel was very impressed by Angelea's crying scene, and says it reminds him of a photo that Tyra shot of Angelea in her original cycle. Tyra wanted to laugh and cry while watching Angelea's footage. The laughing, of course, comes from Angelea's whack running. ALT says that Angelea came back from the depths of the well, and is looking magnificent.
Laura is . ALT says that he didn't expect her to be so strong emotionally when she's usually so bubbly and cheerful. Tyson says that Laura did a fabulous job as an actress, but that sometimes you have to forget that the camera's there. Laura broke the fourth wall with her "TO OKE" bit. Tyra tells Laura that her whipped cream scene was too sexy in the beginning, but then with Tyra's direction to spit rather than swallow it all came together.
Allison is , and Nigel tells her that he's very impressed. Tyson, however, disagrees. He says that Allison couldn't find the camera, and that her eyes darted around at the beginning. Allison is forced to explain again that she has vampire vision, but was trying to work around it. Tyra wants Allison to figure out what to do about that, since her eyes are her big selling point. When you can't see Allison's eyes, Tyra says, she loses 50% of her strength.
Finally there's Lisa. She is wearing neon green spandex pants like whoa. Lisa's backbends were impressive, as was her running. ALT says that Lisa has very strong skills and her acting was superb. Tyra thinks that Lisa did a great job too. She committed, and gave Tyra chills when she looked into the camera and screamed. We get a flash to this, and Lisa looks like a tiny rabid pet monkey. What Lisa has to work on is not looking so much like a tiny rabid pet monkey.
The judges deliberate. Angelea is the phoenix who rose up out of the ashes from the depths of darkness. I know I don't have to tell you that ALT was the one who said that. He's proud to see that Angelea can connect words and give him a narrative. Wait, I think ALT just expressed relief that Angelea isn't illiterate. He's clearly been deeply affected by Life Is Not a Fairytale: The Fantasia Barrino Story. Nigel says that Angelea is potentially a time bomb, except when she's lovestruck around Tyson. Tyson uncoincidentally thinks that she's brilliant. Lisa has talent and can perform. Nigel says that her whole repertoire is about action and movement and expressing herself. She's a performer. Tyson says that Lisa did her thing, and Tyra says that she gave Lisa everything difficult, and Lisa did it.
Laura didn't impress ALT, and he's very over the Hee Haw elegance. Nigel says that Laura is apple pie, and a lot of people will identify with her. However, Laura's Modelland performance was overtly sexy to the point of being crass. However, Tyra loves that Laura is game for anything. Tyson is a fan as well. He's not so crazy about Allison though, who he thinks should be more outgoing. Nigel says that Allison is not personable, which is a big issue. She's unusual and weird, but when she turns it on she's amazing in front of the camera. Tyra talks up Allison's catwalk corridor scene, and Nigel says that her footage overall was the most visually interesting. Tyson invokes his soul brother Willis Drummond with a "Diff'rent Strokes" explanation.
The judges continue to deliberate as the ladies wait backstage. One and a half hours later, the judges are apparently still going at it. The weird thing is that ALT seems to be advocating for Laura, and Nigel for Allison. From the sidelines, Ken Mok -- who is a fucking ringer for Jon Gosselin -- tells the judges to make a decision. This is apparently the longest deliberation ever for America's Top Model. Tyson tells Tyra to make an executive override, and she says that she doesn't override. With that, we head to commercials. I know you are dying from the suspense.
When we return, four lovely ladies stand before Tyra, but she only has three photos in her hands. Lisa is called first, which means that she had the best performance in the motion editorial and is also a finalist. Angelea is the runner-up for best performance and also a finalist. This leaves Laura and Allison in the bottom two. Laura has a contagious and bubbly personality, and people want to be around her. One of the judges said that if he were on a movie set for three months, he'd want her to be his co-star. Yes, I think Laura has a chance of banging Tyson. Angelea must be seething. However, the judges wonder if Laura is just sweet and peachy, or if she can get past cuteness and do high fashion. Allison's personality is the opposite of Laura's. She's introverted and shy, but her quirkiness makes her stand apart. So who is the third finalist? It's Allison. Allison takes her photo from Tyra as Laura looks very sad. As Tyra hugs Laura, Laura cries and says that it hurts because she wants to be respected as a good model. Tyra tells Laura that she is, in fact, a good model and was a finalist in the petite cycle for a reason. Something just got lost this time around. But what? I mean, there's no real rhyme nor reason to any of this. Laura has no regrets, and says there's no way she can be disappointed in her life. At 22, she's come so far, and people know her name and her viral video hit all around the world!
week: Finale, thank God.
I am Potes. I am Tookie. Tweet me @traciepotes or email potesypotes@gmail.com.