Previously: Tyra joined the final five girls for dinner, where they played along and pretended she was Oprah. At go-sees, the girls met South Africa's fashion elite and discovered that Keenyah is ruthlessly competitive, and also a big fat hoss. In the end, Christina couldn't overcome her ice queen reputation and was sent away to find herself some lips. Four girls remain! Who will be eliminated tonight?
We are in Cape Town, at the Rozenhof restaurant. Brittany spears some food off of Keenyah's plate and proceeds to eat it. Keenyah gives an exaggerated and irritated "Thanks, BRIT," and Brittany returns an exaggerated "You're WELCOME." And if I were Brittany, I would avoid taking food from Keenyah, because if her hunger is not sated, she might start to gnaw on Brittany's thigh while Brittany sleeps. Naima interviews that Keenyah and Brittany have formed a close friendship, and that Kahlen is Naima's best friend in the house. And I kind of love Naima's Mohawk, but when it's completely straight up and a little fluffy she looks like the Heat Miser. She's...too much! Naima talks about how hard it was for the girls to critique each other during the challenge at panel. We flash back to Keenyah saying that Naima has the least model potential because of her "shell." Keenyah interviews that Naima doesn't have an outgoing personality, and that "people aren't going to relate to her as much as they're going to relate to, like, Brittany. Or, you know, to [Keenyah herself]." In fact, people from all over the world stop Keenyah on the street and tell her how humble she is. And how her sports bra with a tube top over it indicates that she is on the cusp of cutting-edge couture. Fucking Keenyah.
Keenyah lectures that the whole point of the challenge was to see how much the girls had learned, and that she was going to pinpoint every flaw that the judges would notice to demonstrate her knowledge. As evidenced by the "she looks like she has dirty...in her underwear" comment, which was actually plucked directly from Nigel's brain. Kahlen interviews that Keenyah always puts herself first, which is annoying. To wit, Keenyah says that she didn't care at that moment in the competition who was her friend. Brittany starts to make a point, and Keenyah snottily says that Brittany shouldn't interrupt her. Brittany tells Keenyah not to get rude with her like that, and adds that Keenyah cuts people off all the time. Keenyah says that she's getting better about that, but still isn't done with her sentence. Brittany interviews that, at this late point in the competition, the girls are starting to get annoyed with each other. Oh, I know how they feel. At the table, Brittany puts a mock gun to her head and pulls the trigger.
Tyra Mail! "In this modeling competition, every step counts. Be ready at 9:45 AM." Keenyah says, "'Every step counts'? How obvious is that?" Kahlen, her mouth full, asks what it means. Keenyah is unable to resist the allure of delicious foodstuffs even when currently being chewed by others, and asks, her eyes glazed over, "Is..is that that chocolate thing?" Keenyah interviews that eating makes her feel better, and that she doesn't know what kind of syndrome she has. I think it's called "lazy fat-ass disorder," a.k.a. "Banks Syndrome." She asks Kahlen again about her treat, and Kahlen says that it's a chocolate muffin before once again asking if Keenyah thinks that the challenge have to do with runway. Keenyah can't take her eyes off of the muffin. And I don't mean that in a Michelle double-entendre way. She asks for a piece (of muffin) and Kahlen obliges. Keenyah can't concentrate at all until she has the muffin in her mouth, and then she finally says that she does think it will be a runway show. Kahlen interviews that, despite the judges' advice, Keenyah totally isn't watching what she eats.
“ Naima says that she's always been a quiet person, and that dancing gives her an outlet for self- expression that doesn't involve speaking. I wish that Keenyah would get one of those. ”
Brittany interviews that she doesn't dance at all, and especially doesn't work the African tribal dance. We see her attempt it, and she's sort of gangly and awful. Kahlen looks terrified, and says that when things get too hard in her life, she gives up, because she doesn't ever want to fail. Perhaps that explains the perilous condition of her weave. The girls break and talk with the troupe, saying that it's their first time in Africa. Keenyah says that it's good for her to come there, and adds, "Not that it's more important to me than them because they're not black..." Naima interjects, "I'm black." She interviews that Keenyah kept talking about her blackness and being the only black one, which was offensive because Naima, who is biracial, was sitting right to her. Keenyah tells the troupe that, being black, she always wanted to get to Africa before she died. And given what's to come, I'm surprised she didn't call it "the country of Africa." "Welcome home sister," says one of the dancers. Keenyah interviews that people are saying "Welcome home" to her and not to the other girls, which makes her feel good and, I would wager, special.
Jackie tells the girls that they will now be performing their dance in front of an audience. Kahlen fears being humiliated. Well, then, let me be the first to tell her that she picked the wrong reality television show to be on. This dance performance is a challenge, and they will be judged by Alfred Hinkle, the director of Jazz Art, and also special guest J. Alexander, who comes dancing out in an orange outfit last seen on Dorothy Zbornak. Yay! It has been too long since our last encounter with Ms. J. The girls get outfitted in their costumes, which are not particularly flattering. Kahlen looks distressed. The seats in the performance space fill up. Backstage, Kahlen says that she hates dancing and hates this challenge. Dancing and the challenge reply, "We hate you too, bitch." She starts to cry, and says that she never wants to dance on stage in front of people, and is frustrated. The combination of tears, outfit, and hair tucked back in her hat serves to highlight her enormous buck teeth and the fact that she's secretly not that pretty. Commercials.
When we return, Keenyah explains that the challenge has to do both with how well the girls have learned their choreography and how well they can move in general. She says that she's going to roll with the challenge and see how she does. The girls crawl around on the stage and then start to dance with the troupe. Each girl gets a solo. Brittany's includes a shimmy, to the surprise of no one. Her arms and legs flail in the manner of Elaine Benes. She interviews that the audience didn't much like her dance, and that she doesn't blame them. See, Brittany knows that she can't dance but has a sense of humor about it, which is what makes her cool. Then comes Kahlen, an intense look in her eyes. She says that she was nervous and uncomfortable, but that she "acted" the whole time. This makes me hate her a little. Brittany interviews that Kahlen never thinks that she "did good," is "doing good," or "does good," but that she always does...good. Well, well, well. Keenyah says that she feels honored and blessed to learn African dance. She says once again that it's important to her and that she's the only black girl. Cut to Naima. She says that she's always been a quiet person, and that dancing gives her an outlet for self-expression that doesn't involve speaking. I wish that Keenyah would get one of those. The crowd cheers. We see a shot of Ms. J in the audience. That man's legs are a wonder. How does he get them so shiny? The performance finishes, and Keenyah says that she feels good about herself.