Previously: The girls learned that they were going to South Africa. Much screaming and jiggling ensued. Christina tried to warm up her chilly personality by posing as an ostrich, while Keenyah packed on the pounds and was stereotyped in an elephant getup. In the end, Michelle couldn't handle the stress and was finally sent packing just as everyone was getting tired of she-nis jokes. Five girls remain! Who will be the to go?
African music and scenes of wild animals, lovely beaches, and exotic villages welcome us to Cape Town, South Africa. Naima and Brittany discuss how great it is to be in South Africa, and in the top five. Suddenly, in comes Tyra pushing a room-service cart. "I bring food! I bring food!" she says. This is followed by an off-camera opening of the lid and Tyra yelling, "I ate all the food! I ate all the food! Can someone get these bitches some damn more food?" She is outfitted in a silky green bathrobe over black pants, because one of the main perks about being a Victoria's Secret model is that you get to keep all of the ugly clothes. Tyra jumps on Kahlen's bed to wake her up. The girls eat and Tyra asks them how it feels to be in the final five. Keenyah says that having everyone comment on how her physique most closely resembles that of Louie Anderson was a wake-up call for her. Tyra says that she's struggled through the same thing. Oh really? I hadn't noticed. Keenyah says that she's "bringing it" now. Well if "it" is fifteen extra pounds, I concur. Tyra asks if the girls feel like they have changed throughout the contest. I know I, for one, feel much, much dumber. ["Great smoky eye, though!" -- Wing Chun] Naima says that she feels completely different, and interviews that, growing up, she was a really angry kid, due in part to her parents' divorce. She got into the party scene for a long time, hit the bottle, and generally felt lost. We see photos of Naima with bright red hair to emphasize the undeniable craziness. Tyra says that trying to forget all that she has gone through is stifling Naima's personality and making her into a "shell of a person." As a contrast, Tyra is free with her emotions because she can't find a shell big enough. Naima says that she sometimes tends to be soft-spoken and meek because she doesn't want to relive her uncomfortable past.
Brittany says she's happy that the girls all get along and that none of them is backstabbing or conniving. Cut to Keenyah looking particularly conniving. Brittany tells Tyra that all of the girls really are friends. Oh, the sweet, sweet kiss of death. Kahlen -- whose rat weave is actually working for her today -- gives a little speech where she says that being around the other girls has been beneficial to her, since she's on the road to discovering who she is. She starts to tear up, or possibly Keenyah has spat hot sauce in her eye. Christina tells Tyra that she's trying to be more open to the judges so as not to appear so reserved and cold. She interviews that she's always been taught by her mother to be strong and confident, which may come off as icy. Tyra tells Christina to pretend the judges are sitting in their underwear. And really, it all kind of works until you get to Nol Flamb (shudder). Keenyah says that Tyra would be beautiful in her underwear, so that's not going to help. Tyra laughs, because she loves it when someone says she's pretty. There is a group hug, and then Tyra leaves, running and twirling out the door crazily with her giant ass trailing behind.
“ Cabs race around town, and the whole scenario is not nearly enough like Crazy Taxi. ”
After Tyra leaves, Keenyah heads back to the buffet. Kahlen interviews that Keenyah almost got eliminated because of her weight problem, and the girls joke that it would be bad if Tyra came back in and saw Keenyah chowing down on seconds. Kahlen interviews that Keenyah took the criticism of her fat self very hard, but hasn't really been making much improvement on her choices. Flab is not fab, Keenyah! Gratuitous shot of chicken bones. And then, Tyra Mail! "Step out on the Cape Town and be seen. Show 'em what you're working with." The girls try to puzzle it out.
Morning, and the girls head off in their blue van. They end up at an office where they meet Jackie Burger, the fashion director of Elle South Africa, who is lovely with a lovely accent. A picture of her husband Hamilton resides on her desk. We then are introduced to Paola DeVito, who is the CEO of the National Association of Model Agencies and is stern and kind of butch. Today, the models will be heading out on go-sees, which are opportunities to meet with clients. Jackie says that go-sees provide some of the most important interactions the girls will ever have in their careers. In contrast to the shoots with Jay Manuel, which are some of the least important interactions that they will ever have. Kahlen sports some bright blue eyeshadow. Paola says that they have ten clients lined up for the girls to see. They'll be judged on how many clients they visit, as well as on their personality, portfolio, look, and professionalism. These criteria are listed on a pink Post-It-like squares at the bottom of the screen for emphasis. The girls are given a list of the clients. Paola says that they can see all or none of the clients, but the one thing they must do is be back to the office by 4:30. In a bit of unrestrained foreshadowing, we cut to a shot of Naima. Each girl gets a taxi, which I think is unfair. I think that they should have to walk barefoot through the hot, burning desert if there is no subway system in a foreign language to confuse them. Christina says that the list of clients includes photographers, agents, and designers.
The girls head off in their cabs to different locations. Christina interviews that it's a race against time, and that the models all want to see as many people as possible. Naima interviews that she wants to win the competition, and that she knows she must show her personality or go home. She gives the cab driver an address, which takes about an hour. Her slow speech patterns are doing her no favors in this particular challenge. Cabs race around town, and the whole scenario is not nearly enough like Crazy Taxi.
“ Janice thinks Christina's pose in the photo sucks. Tyra says that the Wall Street Journal proclaimed 'the hunch' to be the new 'it' pose in modeling. Well, since it's coming from such a respected fashion publication, I'm sure that's totally true. ”
Tyra thanks the girls for their honesty and says that they need this type of insight to get to the level. When they get out into the modeling world, which is filled with sharks (and at this I can't believe we don't get a shot of Janice), the girls will need to know the strengths and weaknesses of their competition. And now it is time for the judges' evaluation. Tyra thinks Keenyah is catty, and that she gave her critique as if she was the best. She notes with surprise that no girl said that she was the one with the most top model potential, which is apparently what the judges were looking for. That is kind of a trick question. The judges critique Keenyah's shot. Janice says that Keenyah's body pose is weak, but her face is gorgeous. Flamb says that she's pretty, but doesn't show fashion. Flamb says that Christina's critiques were boring, and Janice and Nigel both add that she was robotic. A beautiful robot, but a robot nonetheless. Paola says that, as an agent, she doesn't know how she'd sell Christina, because she's not feeling anything from her. Christina turns on the waterworks to try to convince the judges that she has a soul. Janice thinks Christina's pose in the photo sucks, and that she's lost her ankle. And this one is totally Jay Manuel's fault. Tyra -- ever coming to Jay's defense -- says that the Wall Street Journal proclaimed "the hunch" to be the new "it" pose in modeling. Well, since it's coming from such a respected fashion publication, I'm sure that's totally true.
Flamb says that he thinks Naima's beautiful, but that she's like an egg that needs to be cracked. The shell! The shell! She confesses that she holds back because she doesn't want to revisit the anger of her past. Janice likes that Naima's soft, sweet voice is gone, because now she's getting a sense of the real Naima. Nigel and Janice agree that Naima's critiques were brilliant. Flamb thinks her face in the photo looks dead. Tyra harps on Jay's point that Naima only looks good in profile or three-quarter shots, but loses it from the front. And in this particular photo her face does look awfully smushed.
Kahlen was very accurate on the critique, which was impressive. Nigel calls Kahlen's photo "angelic." Tyra says that the photo they are seeing is great, but that Kahlen didn't have very many good ones to choose from during her shoot. Nigel warns her not to get too complacent.
Brittany's critique sucked, says everyone, and it appears as though she hasn't learned a thing. Nigel is impressed and hornified by Brittany's photo. Janice thinks that it's amazing. Tyra says that women will want to be Brittany, and guys will want to be with her. Nigel says that it's a sex bomb shot, and Janice says that he's just a "big old...horny...judge." That's what they all said about Wapner.