Doody and On Her

S01E07

Still smarting over the latest blow to his fake marriage, Phillip heads off to New York for a big convention for travel agents. This is mostly all just a cover to intersect with a Polish freedom fighter named Andrzej Bielawski. Bielawski is respected by the U.S. government for turning pro-democracy after his wife and children were killed. Exiled to France, he plots to form a new government to throw off the yoke of Soviet oppression. The Centre can't just kill him off for various and complex reasons, so they have to settle for ruining him and alienating him from his allies. To that end, they've also assigned Phillip's old girlfriend to the mission. Remember the one he left behind once he was assigned to Elizabeth? Yeah, her. Once Irina and now Anne, she, too, is a spy. Like Phillip – or Mischa, as she once knew him – she is increasingly discontented with her double life.

At first, their reunion is strictly professional. They're there to take down Bielawski, and that's it. Alas, Bielawski has become a priest and taken a vow of celibacy since the death of his family. Even though he is very charmed by Anne, he remains devoted to his faith. Anne drugs him and has Phillip slap her around to make it look like she was beaten and raped. Threatened with imprisonment and disgrace, Bielawski has no choice but to renounce his democratic goals and retreat into the shadows. For Anne, ruining a genuinely decent man is the last straw. She plans to leave the life, and wants Phillip to come with her. She even tells him they have a son together, conceived before Phillip went into the Academy. She still loves Phillip and he probably still loves her, and they soon fall into bed together.

Back home, Elizabeth wishes she'd killed Grannie while she had the chance. Instead, she has to continue working with her. She's assigned to bribe a scientist into funneling secrets to her, after she dons one of her repertoire of Alias-worthy wigs and pays off his gambling debts. She also spends some time at the Beeman house, chatting with Sandra about how hard marriage is and what it takes to make it work. Meanwhile, Stan is off peeling away his layers of crushing sadness and clothes to spend a little time with Nina the mole.

In the end, it's not entirely clear whether or not Anne's son actually exists or if he was a ploy to woo Phillip. Either way, Phillip decides to stick it out with his fake marriage and see if it can maybe become something real. He lies to Elizabeth about what happened with Anne, but seemingly with good intentions. As for the rest, your regular recapper will be back with the full recap.

-- Tippi Blevins

Previously: Philip and Elizabeth got their feelings hurt, first by their Soviet comrades who suspected them of disloyalty, and then by each other. Rezident Vasili got snookered by Agent Stan into taking the fall, saving Nina from suspicion.

Currently: Elizabeth is in a cowl-necked sweater, telling Paige that she already owns sixteen pairs of leg-warmers and thus cannot have anymore. At any moment, Cyndi Lauper and Captain Lou Albano are going to come bursting through that door, making this officially the Most '80s Moment. Meanwhile, Henry is digging around for the remote (Elizabeth hid it -- although who had remote controls in 1981?), complaining that the TV news is boring. Said news is reporting on Polish statesman, Andrej Bielawski, an outspoken critic of the Soviet regime who's in New York City this week to address the United Nations. Elizabeth is obviously watching closely while pretending not to watch closely, but it'd be impossible for anyone to notice, because Paige is calling her mom "incorrigible" and saying things to Henry like "silence, slave" and generally being the total worst.

Later, Elizabeth drops Philip off at the train station, and are they ever snippy to one another. In a bit of a reverse from the end of last week, Philip is the one offering a smidge of concession, but Elizabeth is the intractable one. He finally sighs and says he'll be staying at the Carnegie Hotel, causing Elizabeth to snort that she hopes he has a good time. He stresses that it's a mission, not a getaway, then says, "I haven't seen her in 20 years." Intriguingly cryptic! It looks for half a second that Elizabeth is softening, as she asks him if he has everything he needs. This time, Philip's the one who's short, snapping off a "No" and then a quick slam of the door. It's not Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, but things aren't great.

Inside the station, Philip grumpily picks up his ticket and, while a group of soldiers chatter in the background, just being a symbol of everything Philip is working to take down, his mind travels back to Mother Russia. Picture it: Vladivostok, 1958. (Actually, I don't know when and where this flashback takes place, but just try keeping me away from a Sophia Petrillo joke.) A twentysomething Philip is on a train platform when he meets cute with a pretty brunette girl. Seems a safe assumption that this is the "not in 20 years" woman he was referencing before.

The Amtrak takes Philip to New York City (obligatory digital WTC sighting: achieved), where he checks in under his own name, which is interesting. No wigs. No glasses. He's so exposed! In the lobby, he crosses paths with Andrej Bielawski and his entourage, and he eyes him warily as he steps outside to field questions like, "Is this the beginning of the end of Communism in the Eastern Bloc?" Not if Phil Jennings has anything to say about it!

After the credits/commercials, Bielawski is sitting down for a TV interview with our old pal Charles the Secret Communist Right-Wing Pundit. Charles's show has all the black-box ambience of Charlie Rose's interviews, combined with all the casual smoking of every Mike Wallace scene in The Insider. The two bond over being twin reformed Communists (so far as Bielawski knows), and basically the information we need to know about Bielawski is this: he was a devoted Commie, at some point his wife and children were killed, and now he's turned to religion in order to find strength. He declares his intentions to tell the General Assembly that "Freedom is alive in Poland" and that he intends to help the people of Eastern Europe "throw off the yoke of Soviet oppression." Philip watches this all on TV, Bielawski stating his intentions to return to Paris and establish a government in exile, in direct opposition to Moscow. So, obviously, this is what Philip is here for. To stop this guy somehow.

Back in the D.C. area, Philip's disguise-less vacation is being more than compensated for by the getup that Elizabeth is rocking at some dingy blackjack room. Jet-black Morticia wig, black leather pencil skirt, red lip, cigarette -- she's the dark priestess of Casino Night right now. At another table, a frustrated gambler gets up from his table, and Elizabeth makes note of him nearly without even having to turn around. She strides directly into the men's room and approaches the gambler at the urinal. She addresses him as Sandford, and he was apparently one of the defense-shield workers who reported to the late Adam Dorwin, last seen taking a bullet to the forehead from Elizabeth. She doesn't hesitate to make known to Sandford that she was the one who did Dorwin in. "I was very fond of him," she says, though she doesn't have the same attachment to Sandford, which has the benefit of making it easier to eliminate HIM. Sandford looks freaked for about a half a second before giving her a mirthless laugh. Calling her "Lady KGB," he says he's not even scared of her. His life is already over. "Put me out of my misery, please." Well, that takes one option off the table for her.

Back in New York, we see why Philip was able to travel under his own name: he's at a Travel Agents' Association conference. That's pretty nifty and convenient timing, I'd say. After weathering the awful glad-handing of travel professionals trying to sell him on cooperative business ventures, Philip heads to the bar... where he's joined by the same woman from his flashback. She's clearly a fellow spy because she pretends not to know him, introducing herself as "Ann." She says she's from Montreal, says Philip would like it there: "cold, trees, miles and miles of virgin forest." Y'all, Soviet dirty talk is weird. As the day's first speaker is announced and the conventioneers file into the room, Ann tells Philip, "I've been waiting for this for a long time." Okay, yes, fine, quit sexing him with your words, lady.

Elizabeth meets Claudia on a park bench, and it is intense. Claudia calls her "dear" in a way that clearly means all the "fuck yous." She begrudgingly "apologizes" to Elizabeth for the interrogation, and at one point, she pointedly takes her sunglasses off to show Elizabeth the damage inflicted to her face. Elizabeth just stares right at her and says, "I'm sorry I didn't kill you. That's my apology." Dang. Claudia fires right back, though: "Better luck time." She warns Elizabeth -- calling her by her Russian name, "Nadezhda" -- not to go throwing herself in front of any trains. "Bad things happen, not only in literature." I like how the more agitated Claudia gets, the more her accent comes out. Elizabeth warns her not to call her Nadezhda. "It confuses me," she says. "I like to keep my wits when handling snakes." Claudia is finally like, "Okay, bitch, let's just get to work." That talk about Sandford, a.k.a. "Prince," who Elizabeth says is 20 grand in the hole to gamblers and about to lose his kneecaps, or worse.

Back in New York, Philip is walking around downtown and remembering more and more about his life with "Ann." She was Irina then, and he was either 20 years old or wearing enough makeup to join the Moscow Circus. Anyway, Matthew Rhys, in his terrible (or obviously dubbed, I can't tell) Russian, excitedly tell Irina that he was accepted into the "Leadership Group," and it's all happening for them. He's optimistic, saying they'll only be apart for a year. Look how that turned out.

In the present, Philip and Ann meet "anonymously" at a hotel bar. He asks her why they aren't just straight-up taking Bielawski out. She explains that it's a catch-22: they need to remove Bielawski and thus quell the Polish threat to turn on Moscow, but they also need him alive and maintaining an illusion of Polish independence. She then asks Philip about his life. She guesses that he's married, and he tells her he has a wife and two kids. She had a husband, he died. She has one son. That's about all the catching up Philip can bear, from the looks of it. She touches his hand and tells him good luck.

After the break, Elizabeth and the kids heads over to the Beemans' for dinner. The wife, whose name is Sandra but whom I always want to call "Trish" (maybe that's HER Russian name) (OMG what if Sandra/Trish has been a spy this whole time???) answers the door and tells the kids they can play foosball in the basement and apologizes for Stan not being home yet. Paige asks where Matthew is, but he's doing homework upstairs. Also, he's not picking up children by the side of the road, so Paige probably isn't interested.

By Joe R

In New York, Charles is dining with Bielawski, and they're soon joined by Ann, who introduces herself to Andrej. And the game has begun.

Philip gets once again accosted by that travel agent from Boston, who wants to buy him a drink. But Philip has some spying to do, so he does this neat little trick where his heel kicks Boston's heel and Boston falls back in his chair, like maybe he's drunk, and while Boston is puzzling over whether he just got kicked or maybe if he really is too drunk, Philip's already exited the hotel.

Back at the restaurant, Charles continues plying Bielawski with wine and he makes sure he knows that Ann grew up in Poland. The two start speaking the mother tongue to each other ("How do you get a one-armed us out of a tree?" "Why you wave at us, of course!" "Hahaha, it's good we can laugh at ourselves!"), and Charles gets called away for a phone call from Philip. The call is purely for our benefit, so we know that the plan is for Ann to seduce Bielawski past his vows of celibacy. Oh, I guess the point of the call was also so Charles could excuse himself, leaving Bielawski to Ann's devices.

By Joe R

Back at the Beemans', Stan finally calls and predictably tells Sandra that he can't make it home for dinner. Matthew has a pretty public snit about how his dad hasn't been home for a week, and even the President has dinner with his family occasionally. "Are you sure he still even lives here, Mom?" And, look, this kid is being effectively abandoned by his dad, after years of similar neglect while Stan was embedded with the Klan. Matthew never willingly signed up for any of this, so I get it. He's entitled to his anger. But not in front of company, man! You're old enough to understand that your father never loved you without being ridiculous about it.

Back at the restaurant, Ann is recounting her family's history in fleeing Poland to Canada. She gets Bielawski to talk about how own former family life. With a bit of a twinkle in his eye, he mentions how he had a mistress, which is one of those subtle touches that let you know that he's secretly DTF despite his conversion to a "life of faith and purpose."

Upstairs, Philip changes into hoodie, while on TV, President Reagan is giving props to the Poles. "We the people of the free world stand as one with our polish brothers and sisters," he says. He's got a bit of a Rich Little thing going on, this Reagan guy.

Later, Bielawski and Ann are walking through park as it snows lightly. She's very good at subtle persuasion. She gets him to shrug off his protection simply by calling attention to it and then joking that she will protect him, targeting whatever macho instincts he has. They discover that they're both staying at the Carnegie, but before they can get into the nature of coincidence, Philip runs by (unrecognizable in the hoodie) and swipes Ann's purse, throwing her down. Bielawski fights him for a moment, but Philip runs off with purse. Security gives chase, but Philip is able to ditch the hoodie and become just another guy walking around. Bielawski checks on Ann, who has hurt her leg. She sees his hand is bloodied from punching the mugger. All is well.

At the office, Agent Chris peer-pressures Stan into heading out to the bar for a drink and leaving the work until the morning. Meanwhile, Sandra's back at home, doing the dishes and sharing some wine and conversation with Elizabeth. Sandra is really opening up about how Stan's always at work, and she can't complain because it's national security, but still. Elizabeth sympathizes that "marriage is hard." Sandra openly says she envies Elizabeth and Philip's marriage. She acknowledges she's only going by surface stuff, but they work together, they're partners -- "You're a team," she says. She couldn't see her and Stan doing that. Elizabeth is doing a whole lot of thinking during this speech, perhaps wondering just how good a team they are.

Elizabeth is having the best night of any of them, and she's basically stuck at home, folding Philip's shirts and learning that she misses him.

Elsewhere, Nina meets Stan in his car at one of their designated spots. She's somewhat perturbed that he called her there for no reason when he's clearly drunk. But when he just sort of turns to her and says her name, she leans in and kisses him. I really, really hope there's a strong of opportunism in this for Nina. That she thinks this is her ticket to quicker exfiltration. I hope it IS her ticket to exfiltration, not that I have any illusions that she's making it out of this season alive. But I'd be bummed to have to buy the fact that Nina has developed feelings for her handler, honestly.

Philip gets a middle-of-the-night call from Elizabeth, which alarms him enough to flick the light on. But nothing's wrong. She just wants to talk. About her day. She misses him, odd as that may be to hear from her. He doesn't quite know how to respond. "Come home," she begs of him, and he places the receiver down without saying anything else. But he's not angry at her anymore. He hits the light and lies back down, enough so we can see Ann on the other side of the bed. Oh, Philip, how predictable.

Elsewhere, in another den of iniquity, Stan is getting dressed while Nina parades around naked. "What happened happened," she assures him, telling him not to worry. She's not going to hurt him or use it against him. "You Americans think everything is white and black," she tells him. "For us, everything is gray." But enough about the weather and the food HEY!

The morning, we learn an important fact about international diplomacy behind the Iron Curtain: Polish political leaders have pretty decent butts. At least Andrej Bielawski does, as witnessed when Charles Duluth and the two security guards bust into his hotel room to find him passed out and naked. Charles is all, "Do you have any idea what you've done?" And of course Bielawski doesn't, so why don't you just tell us what you're saying he did? Charles hands him a file with photographs of Ann's busted face. It's a copy of the police report that says he raped her last night. And between the roofies and the mugging (and thus the bloody hand and Ann's blood on his bed), Bielawski is staring at a mountain of circumstantial evidence and a foggy head with which to process it all. So he throws himself on the mercy of Charles. "Help me, please," he says. That's all it takes, I guess.

By Joe R

Elizabeth is having the best night of any of them, and she's basically stuck at home, folding Philip's shirts and learning that she misses him.

Somewhere outside of D.C., Prince meets with Runaway Elizabeth, who informs him he belongs to her now. She tells him to relax about it, "I'm not your wicked stepmother." He gives her intel about a tech breakthrough with a laser team and hands her the information. She's clearly having fun with this one, which is nice to see.

Philip returns home to a quiet house. Elizabeth is out, and Paige and Henry are playing chess like good little children. They're too wrapped up in the game to give him a huge welcome home, but when he jokes, "Did anyone miss me?" Paige tells him he's so funny. Henry idly asks if he saw any hobos or drug dealers, then says "I love you" equally idly. I think Philip is comforted by this low-key familial situation.

That night, he updates Elizabeth on the mission. Elizabeth, then, summons the courage to take the first step: "When they tortured us, I blamed you," she says. She tells him it wasn't his fault and that she's sorry. She says she missed him, though she didn't want to. She's really struggling with her words here, but what she means to say boils down to: she wants to make it work, to make it real between them. He tells her he doesn't know if they can. "I would try," she says. "Will you try?" He takes her hand and says he will. She finally asks him if anything happened with Irina. Actually, her question is in two parts: "Did something happen between you and Irina? Do you still love her?" It seems clear that the answers to that are yes and no, but Philip just lies and says nothing happened. A well-chosen lie, so long as Irina doesn't show up pregnant in the season finale.

Joe R feels like the show is slightly better than Irina showing up pregnant in the season finale, but who's to say? He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.

By Joe R

Joe R feels like the show is slightly better than Irina showing up pregnant in the season finale, but who's to say? He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.