By M. Giant
The pre-credits sequence reminds us multiple times that after Skylar's exit last week, we're down to the top four. And it also replays Carrie Underwood's new single that she sang on the show last night. Which I'm sure is just a coincidence.
The judges and Ryan come out to greet an unusually noisy crowd. Ryan polls the audience on their favorite, (who this week appears to be the finalist named "EEEEEEEE!"), then brings out the top four, telling us that one of them will be the American Idol in fourteen days. But who's counting?
Ryan dismisses them from the stage, then says that the first theme will be "California Dreamin'," meaning songs by artists from California or songs about California (luckily for the finalists, there are plenty of artists from California), then the second theme is songs they wish they'd written. So how do four contestants fill two hours? Well, there's going to be a long farewell-style montage recapping each of their runs so far.
In Phil's, he overplays the modesty card, saying he never expected to make it past the first round of judging. He does tell us that his family has been encouraging, which he knows is sincere by how his brother-in-law told him how rough "Time of the Season" was. I agree with Phil's brother-in-law. Phil's California song "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival. Which is not really about California, necessarily, but CCR is from California and there are lots of surfing clips playing on the screen behind him, so I guess it counts. He's singing it sans guitar, but as another duet with that blonde saxophonist who's always auditioning for a gig in Phil's eventual touring band.
Steven tells him he's proof that "the road to success is always under construction." How many needlepoints are on the walls of his house, anyway? Jennifer liked the different vocal quality Phil used this time, and Randy, dressed like a gay used car salesman in a pink plaid sportcoat and tie with the "YO" pin, basically says it's all about having a good time. Ryan chats with Phil about his concerns about forgetting the lyrics, and Phil says he mostly got them. That's another thing about California; it's laid back.
Hollie's recap goes all the way back to her Season 10 auditions in Austin, when she saved herself from red-faced, crying ignominy by singing "The Climb" and then got cut in Final Judgment, and then came back this year to Galveston (not that we saw her at the time). Throughout the clip, she's talking about her growing belief in herself, not to mention Jennifer's. She sings "Faithfully" by Journey. It's at this point that I start to think I need to go back and make sure I understood what the California theme meant. In fact, this song is explicitly about being in multiple states, but Journey's from California, so there you go. Now that Hollie's made it to the top four (in other words, two or three weeks longer than she probably should have), she seems to be coasting a bit.
Afterward, Randy tells her she's peaking at the right time, and gets to name-drop his old Journey bandmates, which demonstrates what a canny choice on Hollie's part this song actually was. Jennifer's also impressed, saying it was beautiful. Steven is gross about Hollie's creativity being a delicate flower and how you make it bloom. Stop talking to teenagers that way, Steven. Ryan asks her about how she said she wanted to "go into character" for the song, and she yammers about how she tried to understand its true meaning. And then Ryan lets Randy give her even more compliments on her performance, I guess because he used to perform it live. The privileges of experience.
Steven Tyler selling "crispy chicken strips" for Burger King is a little too much like an animal mascot hawking fried versions of itself.
Coming back, Ryan reminds us of the finale coming up in two weeks, and then there's a segment of Jason Derulo and his sparkly neck brace working in the studio on the song that he's apparently cowriting with the entire country. And which will be performed by him on the finale. I've been trying to forget about that.
A couple of minutes of that get us to the half-hour point, so it's time to introduce Joshua, who's singing a song that he's dedicating to his dad. We get a flashback to Joshua's season ten audition (at which time both he and Randy had more facial hair, which looked gross on both of them), and the inspiring story of how Joshua's participation in Idol forced not only himself, but his whole family to overcome their fear of flying. Finally Josh starts singing "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban, who I have to assume is from California or this theme officially has no meaning whatsoever any more. It's a standard Joshua Ledet performance, starting low and slow until the gospel choir comes in halfway through... and then the key change... and the gradual cranking up of the voice -- and then the cheesy cherry on top of the sundae of cheese: the pedestal he's standing on literally raises him up.
The judges love it, of course, because they've been kissing his ass for this exact thing all along. Jennifer says she's not really surprised with the top four, "even Hollie," and that she liked the "dramma." Steven says that "courage is fear that's said its prayers," whatever that means, and Randy says that he's glad Joshua's here, "because you validate what we say." Which is what really matters. Ryan says something to Josh about Mother's Day coming up, since he just sang a song to his dad, and gives the voting instructions and goes to ads, promising Jessica singing Etta James. That should be interesting. We have the whole commercial break to try to calculate how many entire Jessica Sanchezes could fit inside one Etta James.
Jessica talks about wanting to be on American Idol since she was five. "I literally can't do anything but sing. That's why I'm here." She talks about the experience of actually getting to meet other people, which could be really sad depending on how you interpret it, and how she can't believe she's one of the last four. Her first song tonight is "Steal Away," and clearly Jimmy has given up on not letting her sing songs that are too old for her. It's all bluesy and torchy but with loud horns and not really a showcase for what she can actually do.
Rather than talking about the performance she just heard, Jennifer wants to ask her about the part of the intro-reel when she was seven years old and did a vocal growl onstage. Steven says he's working on an Etta James song of his own, and she nailed this one. The expert has spoken. Randy just likes the vibe of a sixteen-year-old singing the blues, and trots out the cliché about how Jessica can sing the phone book. Why doesn't she sing her voting numbers, then, instead of letting Ryan recite them? After the ads, Jessica tells us backstage that she's secretly 65 years old. Well, that explains it.
Ready for another awkward duet from Josh and Phil? They're doing "This Love" by Maroon Five. I don't have much to say about it, other than that I could probably do without the ebony and ivory pianos that are on the stage with them. Josh blows Phillip away again, which I'm starting to suspect is the point of the whole exercise. Phillip knows better than to try to hug Josh after this one.
Steven gushes about how perfect it was, and gives Nigel a shout-out for picking the song. Jennifer agrees that it was a good song for the two of them, comparing it to a duet by Adam Levine and Usher. Which allows Phil to claim that he's the Usher of the two of them (oh, ush, Phil). Randy talks funny while saying it was amazing. Ryan agrees with Randy, "But when I look at you, I just want to buy an ice cream." Josh says Phil was making him laugh the whole time... just by being Phil, I guess. If only it were that easy for all of us. But then after the ads, they mimic each other mercilessly backstage in a way that actually is kind of funny. For a moment I don't miss Heejun as much.
At least we're getting all the pointless duets out of the way at once (I hope). Jessica and Hollie duet on the Bangles' "Eternal Flame" while swaying to and fro on silk swings like Cirque du Soleil rookies. Somehow they each sound good, but not so much when they sing together. Probably not a duet album in their future.
Randy says it was "a little strange," and while he's talking about registers, Phil and Josh come out and steal the swings in the background during the judges' feedback. Someone in the control booth seems to be on their side, because there's a follow-spot on each of them, oscillating gently. Jennifer comes to the girls' hearty defense by saying, "It wasn't as bad as all that," and Steven says that they just didn't sing it like the guys did, "that's all." Which is the most correct thing Steven's ever said, in his implication that it just doesn't matter. He also makes a lame joke about swingers that Ryan claims to be unable to explain given the audience, but I'd go with unwilling.
Now there's plenty of time for a senseless plug of the new movie Rock of Ages, in which Tom Cruise plays a legendary rock star. I know, right? Director Adam Shankman is in the audience with cast member Julianne Hough. We get to see a whole segment of Shankman showing up at the Idol mansion and getting a tour from the top four. Adam kisses a poster of Jennifer for being in his first movie, The Wedding Planner (somebody certainly owes somebody over that one), and sits them down in the screening room so they can watch a trailer of Rock of Ages, which I already can't wait to miss. Not least because Tom Cruise seems to be singing in his own voice. But the finalists tell the needy director that they can't wait to see it. His visit's over, but the crass cross-promotion isn't. Ryan goes out to the audience to let Shankman blather even more about the movie, and then gives the microphone to his girlfriend Julianne so he can ask her a question that he says has been on his mind for a while. He reaches into pocket and... hands her a note that he wants her to give to Tom Cruise for him. Oh, Ryan, you scamp. Someone should tell him that girlfriends generally don't like being faked out as much as the finalists do.
More filler, more! All four of the finalists sing "I've Been Waiting" by Foreigner, with the gendered lyrics awkwardly switched around in a way that takes you out of the performance even more than usual. Can we seriously just get on with this thing already?
We're finally ready to start round two, and Ryan brings Phil out, shushing the audience until he realizes it worked too well. They mumble about Phil's hometown and the best Mexican food, and then Jimmy Iovine makes his first appearance tonight. Phil's second-round song is "Volcano" by Damien Rice, which Jimmy thinks is perfect, even though it's not all that well known. Most of Jimmy's excitement comes from his opinion that for the first time, Phil doesn't sound like someone else. It's a pretty spare production, on a dark stage with just Phil, his guitar, a cellist and a female backup singer who's facing upstage so the camera can get a deep-focus shot that makes it look like they're singing past each other. And I have to confess, Jimmy may have a point here. It ends up being one of my favorite things Phil's done.
Steven agrees that he's never heard Phillip sing like that before, and that it was "beeyootiful." Jennifer says not many people could have pulled that off, and calls it one of the most "beautiful, poignant moments." So I guess she's saying he did pull it off. Randy agrees that it was one of Phil's best for the whole season, and that a simple statement sometimes has more volume. Which explains a lot about the way Randy Jackson talks. Wow, look who just stopped coasting (not Randy).
The song Hollie wishes she'd written is "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. Jimmy says that Bonnie Raitt has a lot of soul and feeling -- unlike Hollie. He warns her not to oversing, and threatens to sit in the front row at the taping. That proves unnecessary, because she doesn't end up oversinging. However, there is a lighting gimmick that makes it look like she's walking across hot coals that's a little ill-advised. Plus she's got that Celine Dion belt that she can't seem to shake, which doesn't really go with a vulnerable song like this. Even so, she almost moves herself to tears at the end. Please don't be singing about Joshua, Hollie.
Steven doesn't buy it, though, saying she didn't demonstrate enough dynamic range. Jennifer says something about finding a way into the song, like how she can't make America love her. But then at the same time, she says Hollie's emotion threw off her vocal. Randy says it's a great song, but Hollie's a different kind of singer and needed the kind of song that gives her a "moment." She puts on a brave face for the post-performance interview with Ryan, saying she loves the song. Ryan reminds us to think about both performances as he gives the voting instructions (translation: even he thought this one sucked).
After the ads, Ryan plugs tomorrow night's show, which will feature a performance by Jennifer Lopez. Which seems to be news to her, almost. On to Josh's second song, which is "This Is a Man's Man's Man's World." Jimmy's still too starstruck about the memory of seeing James Brown in the studio when he was nineteen years old and had a guy coming in to comb his hair for him to give Joshua any actual advice other than "save your voice." Fortunately, Joshua doesn't seem to need it. He gets all scrunchy-faced as he takes it on, singing half of it through his teeth while backed by horns and strings. Lots of yelling and growling and not even bothering with the slow start this time. By the end, the judges are on their feet, Jenifer so moved she can only waggle her hands rather than clap.