There's a replay of Elise's ejection from last week, set to the strains of "Gimme Shelter." Does that mean she got stabbed afterward?
The judges enter, followed by Ryan, who claims that if we're looking for "two hours of incredible live music by the biggest rising stars in the business," we've come to the right place. Clearly he thinks I'm watching this in a hip bar somewhere with live entertainment, in which case I wouldn't be able to hear him anyway. After he brings out the top five, he tells us that the themes tonight are songs from the 1960s and "Brit pop," which are two categories that seem like they would have a lot of overlap. This will in fact prove to be the case.
Apparently the mentor thing is back, after an absence that dates back to when Dick Clark was still alive. The person Jimmy brought in this week is "Little Steven" Van Zandt, and since there are only five contestants left to fill a two-hour show, he gets a whole introductory tongue-bath, covering his gig with Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, his career as a producer and DJ, his role as Silvio on The Sopranos and a sort of "consigliore" to Jimmy Iovine himself. Jimmy tells us that Little Steven tells him he's wrong more than anyone, other than his own kids. Little Steven (who is not all that little) only has two hours before he has to get to a show with the Boss, but he's still made time to mentor the finalists this week.
First up is Hollie, who rehearses "River Deep, Mountain High" by Tina Turner. SVZ, who apparently is unable to sit in a chair frontwards, isn't impressed, asking Hollie if she's trying to please the audience. Hollie admits as much, and he tells her to get rid of that. And it looks like she does, because when she performs it live, starting out in the audience and then marching up onto the stage while she belts it out, followed by the backup singers and horn section, she's clearly there for herself. It's something we haven't seen from Hollie, namely some energy and fun, at least on her part. The judges love it, obviously, because it's basically what they've been begging her to do for half the season. Steven says it's the first time they've seen her "use [her] blues," Jennifer gives her credit for leading a big production, and after confirming that they both loved it, Randy says he did too. Way to build suspense there.
Phillip is doing a watered-down, jazzy version of "The Letter" by the Boxtops, which Little Steven likes and Jimmy doesn't. Maybe you're more familiar with the original version, or maybe you're more familiar with the Joe Cocker version, but it doesn't sound like Phil is familiar with either one, and instead came up with his own melody after reading the lyrics online. The band tries mightily to make up for it, though, with a high-energy drummer and horn section. Afterwards, the judges chat amongst themselves while waiting for the crowd to settle down, and then Randy says that even though there wasn't much melody, he loved how Phillip made it his own. He certainly did Phil it up. Jennifer admits to not knowing the song in the first place, but appreciates his performance. Steven's been sitting back shaking his head this whole time, then leans forward to say he missed the melody, but Phil got away with it. Ryan comes out and alerts Phil that his own relationship with Julianne Hough is safe, since he found out Phillip has a girlfriend. "Sweet!" Phil says happily. His cute girlfriend in the audience looks happy about the news too.
By M. Giant
Phillip is doing a watered-down, jazzy version of "The Letter" by the Boxtops, which Little Steven likes and Jimmy doesn't. Maybe you're more familiar with the original version, or maybe you're more familiar with the Joe Cocker version, but it doesn't sound like Phil is familiar with either one, and instead came up with his own melody after reading the lyrics online. The band tries mightily to make up for it, though, with a high-energy drummer and horn section. Afterwards, the judges chat amongst themselves while waiting for the crowd to settle down, and then Randy says that even though there wasn't much melody, he loved how Phillip made it his own. He certainly did Phil it up. Jennifer admits to not knowing the song in the first place, but appreciates his performance. Steven's been sitting back shaking his head this whole time, then leans forward to say he missed the melody, but Phil got away with it. Ryan comes out and alerts Phil that his own relationship with Julianne Hough is safe, since he found out Phillip has a girlfriend. "Sweet!" Phil says happily. His cute girlfriend in the audience looks happy about the news too.
Skylar tries out "Knock on Wood" for Jimmy and Little Steven, who suggest "Fortunate Son" by CCR instead. She ends up doing that, which seems like a good idea. And it ends up being good, but it could be better. Obviously we all knew she was going to countrify it up, and she does, but it's also slow and the key is too low to show off her voice as much as she could. The band is right there for her, though. They're really bringing their A-game tonight. Are they in danger of being voted off this week? After she's done, Jennifer rightly compliments her on her energy and her comfort level on the stage. Steven loved everything from her dress to her voice, and Randy calls for a shout-out to CCR before telling Skylar she's born for the stage. I guess there's just not a lot of negative feedback for the top five.
Joshua and Phillip are going to do a duet, and in an interview with Ryan, they both claim to have been horrified by the news that they were going to do a duet together. Ryan plays along, then sends them off to get ready to do "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling." Phil has to start the song and show off his shortcomings as a crooner before Josh picks it up. I can't imagine two singers with more opposite styles to have to do such an ill-suited duet. And that's not just out of the top five, that's out of all of the thousands of people who auditioned this season. But somehow they get through it, though Steven tries to convince them to hug each other or something once they're done, after seeing Josh push Phil away. He says it showed Phillip's crazy side, while showing how Josh could... hit the notes. Jennifer comments on how scared they looked (indeed, Phillip looked like an unwilling draftee on karaoke night), and Randy reminds them they just need to be who they are. Ryan thanks "Goose and Maverick" and throws it to ads. Does that make him Kelly McGillis?
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Joshua will be singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg," which is like the perfect Josh song. In fact, he has Jimmy and Little Steven happily chair-dancing during his mentoring session. Jimmy says Joshua did the impossible, "and only people with gifts can do that." I want a .GIF of Jimmy saying that. Joshua goes out and does a relatively straightforward rendition of the Temptations classic, and I'm happy to see the rare spectacle of Josh not having to Josh up a song that is, after all, pre-Joshed. After he's done, Steven calls him "one of the top two best Idols of all time," then wrecks it by leching over the backup singers. Jennifer just gushes about how much she loves him, and Randy brings up Terrence Trent D'Arby, like that's a long, illustrious career for Josh to emulate, and then there's a whole bit about the big yellow flower Josh is wearing on his lapel, which he ends up handing to the girls in the front row at Ryan's prompting.
Ryan sends Josh on his way and asks the judges who's in the lead after round one. Randy names Hollie, Skylar and Joshua, and Jennifer and Steven agree. Although Steven might just be trying to get to the commercial break as fast as he can so he can reinflate himself.
The second round of the night is "Brit Pop Hits," so it's fitting that Hollie's starting again. She'll be singing "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. Shouldn't she make it extra British by pronouncing it "Bleedin'"? She recognizes the need to connect with the song, and Little Steven advises her to keep it intimate by singing it to one person. Just make sure it's not Steven Tyler, because that will get gross in a hurry. Hollie starts out quiet and cozy, singing perched on the grand piano, but it does get bigger, with a really loooong note toward the end. She never does get off the piano, though, at least not until the song is over and the pianist gives her a hand down the stairs set up for her to get down without a parachute. Steven, who doesn't know the song, compliments her for singing tonight the way she did at the beginning of the competition. Jennifer recognizes Little Steven for his good advice, and says she noticed that Hollie seemed to have surprised herself. Randy obliquely informs Steven that the song is from an X Factor UK winner, then tells Hollie that for being this season's dark horse, she's two for two tonight. I don't actually disagree, even when Randy tells her she's peaking at just the right time. Ryan compliments her on her growth since her first audition in Austin two years ago and gives her numbers, while trying not to step on her dress.
From the audience, Ryan warns us that Coldplay will be performing on tomorrow night's show, then sits on Nigel's lap to introduce Phillip. He's doing "Time of the Season" by the Zombies. Little Steven appreciates how Phillip seems to be singing the original melody, although that might scare some people. Phil sings it on a stool with an omnipresent guitar (not the Gibson gold-top this time, though) and a tie-dye pattern spinning on the rear projection screen like it's still the '60s round. He's doing his thang, but I'm not sure he was aware of the high notes in the chorus when he picked this one out. And there are, like, four choruses in this performance. Randy says that he and the other judges were surprised to hear that Phil could actually sing the melody. I'm surprised to hear him say that, after I just listened to Phil try and fail to do just that. Jennifer says he did a good job on the verses... and also on the chorus. Steven appreciates Phil's experiment with original melody as well. Ryan gives the voting instructions for Phil, trying not to be weirded out by Phil putting his arm around him, but covering it by pretending like he's going to strum Phil's guitar while Phil's still wearing it. I'm sure that's not the only thing Phil's wearing that Ryan wouldn't mind grabbing.
Ryan introduces the three remaining girl finalists, claiming that one of them could be the first female winner in five seasons. I'll believe it when I see it. Skylar does a Hollie impression, Hollie does a Jessica impression and Jessica doesn't have an impression of anyone and so has to make do with a vague speech about girl power. The three of them sing a trio of Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher," in which Jessica is, surprisingly, the weak link. I think she even drops half a line at one point. Clearly she's focusing on the competition rather than the filler, which may or may not bite her in her skinny ass. The judges waste some more time with some positive comments that matter not at all. "Very nice job, Ryan," Randy concludes. After eleven years on this show he is still the master of the barely-sequitur.
Coming back, Ryan plugs the American Idol top ten tour this summer, and we cut to Skylar singing "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" by Dusty Springfield. But, you know, a country version. Duh. Jimmy and Little Steven crack Skylar up with their mock-bickering, and then Skylar has to sing the song on this totally smurfy stage set-up, which includes a lamppost and a couple canoodling on a park bench. But she manages to overcome those distractions and do an excellent job of belting it out. Randy repeats his remark about Skylar peaking at the right time, although he can no longer remember who he said it to in the first round, because of how demanding his job is. And then he asks, "Who were those weird people sitting on that bench and what were they talking about?" Ryan's sitting on it now that the stage is cleared, fanwanking that the couple was celebrating an anniversary or something. Jennifer just asks Skylar, "You want to win, don't you?" She does, for some reason. Jennifer gives her props for returning to the stage for her song so calmly, after having to rush off to change after her trio performance. Steven compliments her on bringing the song into the twenty-first century, and then Ryan hauls her way over to the left limb of the stage for some reason, I guess because her voting numbers won't show up in the middle or something.
By M. Giant
From the audience, Ryan warns us that Coldplay will be performing on tomorrow night's show, then sits on Nigel's lap to introduce Phillip. He's doing "Time of the Season" by the Zombies. Little Steven appreciates how Phillip seems to be singing the original melody, although that might scare some people. Phil sings it on a stool with an omnipresent guitar (not the Gibson gold-top this time, though) and a tie-dye pattern spinning on the rear projection screen like it's still the '60s round. He's doing his thang, but I'm not sure he was aware of the high notes in the chorus when he picked this one out. And there are, like, four choruses in this performance. Randy says that he and the other judges were surprised to hear that Phil could actually sing the melody. I'm surprised to hear him say that, after I just listened to Phil try and fail to do just that. Jennifer says he did a good job on the verses... and also on the chorus. Steven appreciates Phil's experiment with original melody as well. Ryan gives the voting instructions for Phil, trying not to be weirded out by Phil putting his arm around him, but covering it by pretending like he's going to strum Phil's guitar while Phil's still wearing it. I'm sure that's not the only thing Phil's wearing that Ryan wouldn't mind grabbing.
Ryan introduces the three remaining girl finalists, claiming that one of them could be the first female winner in five seasons. I'll believe it when I see it. Skylar does a Hollie impression, Hollie does a Jessica impression and Jessica doesn't have an impression of anyone and so has to make do with a vague speech about girl power. The three of them sing a trio of Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher," in which Jessica is, surprisingly, the weak link. I think she even drops half a line at one point. Clearly she's focusing on the competition rather than the filler, which may or may not bite her in her skinny ass. The judges waste some more time with some positive comments that matter not at all. "Very nice job, Ryan," Randy concludes. After eleven years on this show he is still the master of the barely-sequitur.
Coming back, Ryan plugs the American Idol top ten tour this summer, and we cut to Skylar singing "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" by Dusty Springfield. But, you know, a country version. Duh. Jimmy and Little Steven crack Skylar up with their mock-bickering, and then Skylar has to sing the song on this totally smurfy stage set-up, which includes a lamppost and a couple canoodling on a park bench. But she manages to overcome those distractions and do an excellent job of belting it out. Randy repeats his remark about Skylar peaking at the right time, although he can no longer remember who he said it to in the first round, because of how demanding his job is. And then he asks, "Who were those weird people sitting on that bench and what were they talking about?" Ryan's sitting on it now that the stage is cleared, fanwanking that the couple was celebrating an anniversary or something. Jennifer just asks Skylar, "You want to win, don't you?" She does, for some reason. Jennifer gives her props for returning to the stage for her song so calmly, after having to rush off to change after her trio performance. Steven compliments her on bringing the song into the twenty-first century, and then Ryan hauls her way over to the left limb of the stage for some reason, I guess because her voting numbers won't show up in the middle or something.
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By M. Giant
Jessica's follow-up song tonight is "You Are So Beautiful." Jimmy is worried about the arrangement being too loungy, especially with so Jessica ends up singing it live while backed with an acoustic guitar and strings instead of a piano and strings. Yeah, that roughs it up. For some reason, she's also plunked herself down on the stage behind a cluster of candles. Which would be a fire hazard with a more energetic performer, but I think the people in the auditorium are safe. Also, I'm not sure those candles are actually lit. Oh, and look, I've forgotten to remark on her singing. It's lovely, of course, and the camera gets a whole screenful of her face at the end just in case she lets a tear spill. She doesn't, but it looks like a near thing. Steven tells her she's going to be number one. Jennifer asks how they could have let her go, and compares it to when she sang "I Will Always Love You." Randy's much more impressed with her this time than the first round and talks about what a pro she is. Before Ryan can do her voting instructions, he brings her high heels over to her so she's almost his height again.
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By M. Giant
Before Joshua sings tonight's last song, Jimmy tells him that music is about an idea. Josh tells him he's thinking about "Without Love" by Tom Jones. "That's a bad idea," Jimmy cracks, more for Little Steven's benefit that Joshua's. Jimmy suggests "To Love Somebody," and after they give Joshua about fifteen minutes to learn it, he comes back and impresses the hell out of Little Steven in particular. "That was one of the greatest performances I've ever heard in my life," he tells Jimmy. Joshua sings it well onstage, too, although he looks either sad or bored while waiting to blast it out in the second half. Which he inevitably does, because he's Joshua. That earns him tonight's first standing ovation from the judges, who are blown away. Randy in particular is laughing like he's been punched in the gut and is still trying to decide if he's mad about it. He starts out with a shout-out to the Bee Gees, the ailing Robin Gibb in particular, and then talks about how amazing it was that Joshua could do that to a song he'd never heard. And if that's not enough, Randy adds that Joshua is "one of the best singers ever on this show." Jennifer compliments his voice and passion and one-ups Randy by calling Joshua "one of the best singers I've seen in fifty years." Did she just accidentally reveal her real age? She and Randy tell Jimmy not to mess Joshua's record career up, like it's a foregone conclusion.
Recap of the night's ten judged performances, and I might say that based on what we heard tonight, Phil's in real trouble for the first time. If, that is, this were purely a singing competition. Ryan opens the phone lines and flogs tomorrow night's show, and remembers at the last minute that Twitter exists. That was a close one.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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