Ryan walks down a line of the Top 24 on a dramatically lit soundstage, saying the guys are going to be performing live tonight. Then suddenly we're in the noisy auditorium packed with cheering fans, or whatever word you want to use, and an announcer much better than the one on The X Factor introduces the judges and Ryan, who comes out onstage in a three-piece suit with no tie. Very disco.
Ryan shows off the new stage, which has fancy lighting and architecture and an open-air tech booth that I'm sure the cameras will be catching at every opportunity, and about as many seats as you had in your high school's theater. Ryan tells us that the new American Idol will be crowned right here on this stage in just a few short months. Yeah, I'll decide how short they are, Seacrest. He goes on to say that after tonight's two hours' worth of guys singing and tomorrow's two hours' worth of girls singing, we'll have to watch two hours of the top five from each group being chosen, and then each judge gets a wild card to create the top thirteen.
Ryan greets Randy (in a Clown Dracula dress shirt), Jennifer, Steven and the female half of the Top 24, who don't even get to sit down and have to stand between the judges' table and the edge of the stage. Finally Ryan brings out the male semifinalists: Reed Grimm, Adam Brock, DeAndre Brackensick, Colton Dixon, Jeremy Rosado, Aaron Marcellus, Chase Likens, Creighton Fraker, Phil Phillips, Eben Franckewitz, Heejun Han and Joshua Ledet. Ryan reminds us that another guy will be brought back this week, and we'll find out who later. Will we find out why?
But first, all of the semifinalists were sent home with cameras to capture their home life. We start with Reed Grimm in Ellsworth, Wisconsin, who shows off his backyard stretching to the horizon, the local delicacy known as cheese curds, and his two preschool nieces for whom he apparently serves as primary caregiver and whom he can't wait to get away from.
Tonight he's singing "Moves Like Jagger," which I remain convinced only became a hit because so many people spent so much time trying to figure out if it's serious or not. Reed's version doesn't help with that; it's all slow and jazzy and loungy and the audio cuts out at one point before his drum solo. Yes, I said drum solo. He lopes around the stage like a big goof, having a great time. He's a weirdo, but he'll be fine.
Randy says it was a little wild, but it was a nice choice. Jennifer agrees that it was a good start to the show. Steven gets his audio dropped too late for us to miss him saying "ass," which he meant in a good way anyhow. Ryan gives the voting instructions, says the lines will be open for two hours, and reminds us that it's an 866 number. Which I know all of from The X Factor. Doesn't anyone on that show mind this one copycatting it like this?
Back from the ads, Ryan stands behind the judges' table choking on the hairspray cloud coming off of Steven, Jennifer and to a lesser extent Randy. We meet Adam Brock's family back in Washington, PA, including his baby daughter. Nice house, Adam! He cooks dinner in his kitchen, plays his piano, and dances with his daughter in front of a mirror. He also shares that he's been told there's a large black woman trapped inside his body. And she's about to make an escape attempt, as Adam plans to sing "Think" by Aretha Franklin.
He starts off fairly restrained, with little of the loud growling that got him here, but he has time to build up to that. So it's a little surprising that he never really does. We see his family in the audience holding up signs like "Brock On" and "Brock the Vote." The judges don't have any negative feedback, and would rather talk about Adam's self-bestowed nickname, "White Chocolate." They talk about it a lot.
On to DeAndre Brackensick, the kid from San Jose with the falsetto voice and the Kenny G hair. We get to see his high school, his house and his family, including a sister who sings with him, loudly.
He sings "Reasons" by Earth, Wind & Fire, all soulful and pretty and shit. Mostly in falsetto, of course, including one big high glory note. So far everyone's holding up really well. Jennifer keeps hollering DeAndre's name by way of feedback, until she gets interrupted by Steven. They both compliment his voice, and Jennifer reminds us all that DeAndre blew it last year and she's glad he's back. Randy says he's one of the most "commercial" competitors they've had in eleven seasons, which he means as a compliment, which tells you everything you need to know about American Idol. Ryan brings a couple of tween fangirls up to stand to DeAndre during the voting instructions, who then follow DeAndre off the stage. And as long as he'll let them thereafter.
Time for Colton Dixon, from Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Of course we already know one of his family members, his sister Schyler, whose spelling I'm not looking up again. He shows us his parents' house and wooded backyard, which sometimes has deer that he thinks Skylar Laine would happily come and shoot. We also get to see him do his hair -- in time lapse, fortunately.
He's singing "Decode" by Paramore, starting out behind the piano as usual but eventually getting up so we can check out his Corey Hart outfit in all its retro glory. It's pretty shouty and dramatic and he ends up on top of the piano, probably scuffing the shit out of it.
Randy says he's glad Colton is back to be their "indie alt rocker." Jennifer liked the heartfelt piano part, but calls him a "relevant artist." Steven says he didn't make it last year, but reuses the phrase "relevant artist." Colton confesses to Ryan that this was pretty risky, given how he normally stays behind the piano. And if he'd broken it this time, that would have ruined his whole night.
After the voting instructions and ads, we return to see Ryan and Jeremy Rosado perched on stools off to one side of the stage. Ryan asks how Jeremy picked a Sara Bareilles song (translation: are you gay?), and Jeremy handles the question graciously. We get to see Jeremy's house in Florida, with his original audition number () taped up on his wall. We also get to see the infectious disease clinic where Jeremy mans the front desk. People there seem pretty happy and supportive, and not at all suspicious of how a flu bug wiped out half the Hollywood round the year the receptionist from the infectious disease clinic went there. I mean, I assume they've checked the inventory.
Anyway, Jeremy's singing "Gravity," complete with starfield images projected all over the stage, which recalls the video for this song but is much more soulless while costing several times more. Jeremy does a good job, causing both Jennifer and Steven to tip their heads back and close their eyes like Glee's Principal Figgins.
Steven gives Jeremy props for being the supportive cheerleader to all the other contestants and says he should be the American Idol just for that. Cool, are we done then? Jennifer gushes about his voice and calls him "Jer-bear" like she saw his coworkers doing on the video, and Randy talks to him about being one of the great "sangers." Then Ryan puts up a freeze frame of Jennifer and Steven's "faces melting" during Jeremy's performance, a choice of words which may be a little close to home in Steven's case.
Back from the ads, Steven says he's "as confused as a baby in a topless bar," then mocks Jennifer for her Oscar dress. After that, Ryan has to do some major judge-wrangling before he can introduce the Aaron Marcellus clip, just one second too late to cut off Jennifer saying, "There was no nipple!" We follow Aaron around New York, teaching voice and learning dance, and then Aaron sings "Never Can Say Goodbye" by the Jackson 5.
It's a little rough in spots, but only by the standards that have been set up until now. And yet one big high note at the end -- that's so long that it takes him a half-second to actually hit it -- brings the judges to their feet. They've got nothing negative to say, so I guess that falls to me. Ryan has a few awkward moments of silence with him onstage before doing voting instructions.
is Chase Likens, who you may or may not remember as the country singer from West Virginia. His video shows us his townhouse apartment, his bike and his ride to school at Marshall University, where he's in the theater department. He also shows off some whistling skills and his horses, which he informs us you have to feed and water. Wow, you learn something every day.
Chase sings "Storm Warning" by Hunter Hayes. It's a dumb-ass song, but he does a good job with it. Nice country voice, and he hits all the notes. Steven compares Chase's looks to those of Brendan Fraser in The Mummy, and adds that the mummies at home will love him. That joke gets the reaction it deserves. Also, Steven Tyler should try to avoid mentioning mummies whenever possible. Jennifer compliments Chase for showing America who he is, and Randy compliments his range. Are we ever going to get a decent faceplant tonight? Not that the judges would notice if we did.
Creighton Fraker is up. He explains how he left Brandon, South Dakota for New York City, where he shows us his apartment and acts goofy around town like an "It Gets Better" video for Sesame Street.
Creighton sings "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper, sitting on a stool and surrounded by so many spots of different-colored lights the stage looks like a giant tank of glowing vomit. Eventually he steps down for the big finish, putting his whole heart in it. Which is good, because this is probably the last time he'll get to sing on this stage.
Jennifer talks about how she can't believe half the guys are going home this week, which means she agrees that Creighton is probably going to be one of them. Steven says he made the song his own, and Randy says that whatever happens, Creighton can definitely sing. They're already detaching from this dude. And speaking of detachment, Ryan talks to Creighton about his birth dad, who just told him to be himself. No word from his other dad, the preacher, on that subject.
Time for Phil Phillips, the pawn shop worker from Leesburg, Georgia. We get to see his small house and large family and his difficulty filming himself. For his song, he's got his guitar to sing an unrecognizable, saxophone-heavy version of "In the Air Tonight." I'm not even sure he always knows where in the song he's supposed to be, but eventually he pulls it together and lets out a big yell at the end.
Jennifer blabs about coming back from the road talking about certain people, and that Phil Phillips was one of them this year. Steven says Phil finally hit his stride, even though that was probably the worst thing we've seen him do. Randy says he didn't love the melody change, and has to shout over the boos to say he's a big fan of Phil and his guitar. Ryan's down in the audience with Phil, Sr., who of course is so proud of his kid he nearly forgets to push up the sleeves of the sport coat he's wearing over his T-shirt.
Eben Franckewitz, the mini-Bieber, is up . Since he's 15, his at-home video shows him going to school, goofing around, doing chores, and talking about following his dream. He's singing "Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele, which turns to be...not a good song for him. It doesn't really show his range, at least the way he sings it, and it's not a good match for his high, reedy voice. But the judges loved it, except for a few flat notes in the middle. "Which is totally fine," Jennifer assures him. Clearly the voters are on their own here. Steven suggests Eben listen to some blues records. Eben nods like he knows what either of those two words means.
Back from ads, Ryan stands among the Top 24 girls to remind us there will be a guy brought back for no reason and then introduce Heejun Han. We see his town, home, and mom in upstate New York, the latter of whom obligingly does a happy-dance for Heejun's camera when he asks her (in whatever language they speak at home) to imagine him in the Top 24. Heejun tells an interviewer, "She loves to dance, she loves to sing, but she's not good at all. You're not going to air that, are you? Oh my gosh, she's going to kick me in the head." We see some of the developmentally disabled people he works with, one of whom says he was good and then tells him she's saying that because she's his friend. No wonder he's so grounded.
Heejun sings "Angels," starting low and slow and building gradually, but eventually he deploys the voice. He's going to have to work on that accent, though. All three judges like his voice, but they agree that it wasn't the best song to show off his range. Ryan and Heejun reprise their "What are you sweating" bit like they're Abbott and Costello, and then Heejun shares his views on angels, which are slightly less comedic.
Ryan tells us that some people have nicknamed Joshua Ledet "Mantasia." We visit his hometown of Westlake, Louisiana, whose food he misses so desperately that he asks Randy to invite him over for dinner. Joshua's singing "You Pulled Me Through" by the artist Ryan calls "our own Jennifer Hudson." The judges look like they're at church, and he sounds pretty awesome, if a little heavy on the vibrato. Big finish and standing O from the whole house, including the judges.
Randy promises crawfish to everyone and talks about how much he loves Joshua. Jennifer is at a loss for what to say, and tells him it's a privilege to be there hearing it. Steven's blown away, yammering about the song being a journey. The judges goad Ryan into giving Joshua a fake punch for being so awesome, and after the voting instructions we've still got fifteen minutes left. That's because they have yet to reveal who's coming back after the ads. For what it's worth, Joshua doesn't look entirely thrilled by that whole concept.
By M. Giant
Back from ads, Ryan stands among the Top 24 girls to remind us there will be a guy brought back for no reason and then introduce Heejun Han. We see his town, home, and mom in upstate New York, the latter of whom obligingly does a happy-dance for Heejun's camera when he asks her (in whatever language they speak at home) to imagine him in the Top 24. Heejun tells an interviewer, "She loves to dance, she loves to sing, but she's not good at all. You're not going to air that, are you? Oh my gosh, she's going to kick me in the head." We see some of the developmentally disabled people he works with, one of whom says he was good and then tells him she's saying that because she's his friend. No wonder he's so grounded.
Heejun sings "Angels," starting low and slow and building gradually, but eventually he deploys the voice. He's going to have to work on that accent, though. All three judges like his voice, but they agree that it wasn't the best song to show off his range. Ryan and Heejun reprise their "What are you sweating" bit like they're Abbott and Costello, and then Heejun shares his views on angels, which are slightly less comedic.
Ryan tells us that some people have nicknamed Joshua Ledet "Mantasia." We visit his hometown of Westlake, Louisiana, whose food he misses so desperately that he asks Randy to invite him over for dinner. Joshua's singing "You Pulled Me Through" by the artist Ryan calls "our own Jennifer Hudson." The judges look like they're at church, and he sounds pretty awesome, if a little heavy on the vibrato. Big finish and standing O from the whole house, including the judges.
Randy promises crawfish to everyone and talks about how much he loves Joshua. Jennifer is at a loss for what to say, and tells him it's a privilege to be there hearing it. Steven's blown away, yammering about the song being a journey. The judges goad Ryan into giving Joshua a fake punch for being so awesome, and after the voting instructions we've still got fifteen minutes left. That's because they have yet to reveal who's coming back after the ads. For what it's worth, Joshua doesn't look entirely thrilled by that whole concept.
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By M. Giant
After the break, Ryan spends very little time building up any suspense at all before revealing that the returning singer is...Jermaine Jones. Seriously, it took you longer to read that ellipsis. But I suppose Jermaine still has to have time to sing. Ryan tries to interview Jermaine while the audience laughs at their height difference, even with the extra-tall hair Ryan's rocking tonight. Jermaine tells the story of getting the call -- which his mom almost didn't answer -- and how thrilled he was to get to come back. Of course, nobody told him he was going to have to wear that big plaid bowtie.
Jermaine takes a seat on a stool, which makes him almost the same height as Ryan, and sings "Dance with My Father" in his big, deep voice. Randy talks about Jermaine's unique voice and Jennifer agrees, and Steven thanks him for showing everyone how why they asked him back. Well, yes, except for rule-wise.
Jermaine's mom comes out onstage in a hand-painted shirt with her son's name on it, so you know the cameras were pretty motivated to steer clear of her before the big reveal. Ryan gives Jermaine's voting numbers (which don't end in 13), and we get to see the clips of tonight's performances. Some of which I had forgotten already. That gives the guys plenty of time to line up to Ryan on the stage so he can ask Randy how America should vote. Neither he nor Jennifer are any help at all, of course. Ryan opens the phone lines and tells us to vote. Aw, too bad the lines are already closed by the time I'm done watching this.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.
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