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I'd like to start this recap off by thanking one Miss Rebecca, who Fed-Exed me a copy of this episode when my parents' VCR recorded an hour of static which, while more interesting and better-written than the show it was supposed to record, would probably not have been an acceptable recap. Thank you, Rebecca! I'm so grateful that I won't reveal your full name, thus sparing you from the potential embarrassment of someone recognizing it and knowing that you tape 7th Heaven.
Vincent meets Martin in the backyard. Vincent tells him about how their silly plan didn't work. Now Ruthie is more into Vincent than ever, and she thinks that Martin likes her. Like likes her. More clumsy exposition follows in which the details of Vincent's silly plan to get Ruthie to dump him last episode are revealed, and then Martin says that he's washing his hands of the whole sordid affair, as he is "not a Camden," and so he can't lie for a good cause like they can. He is, however, very good at being a self-righteous little prick, so it seems to me that he's at least ninety percent Camden.
Weird Rose comes to Simon's apartment, even though, as Simon points out, she just left. I guess she can't get enough non-sex! In fact, she wants to meet Simon's parents, and she wants to him to meet hers, who, of course, live in Glenoak. Crawford Clown College must be really suffering these days, as all the students from its Glenoak feeder schools have apparently decided to attend an art school that is either way up in Northern California or the town over, depending on how close it needs to be for storyline purposes. Simon asks Rose if she's "sure" she wants to meet his family, who he says is "overwhelming and nosy." Rose interrupts him before he can list any additional horrible CamTraits, which is a real shame because I'm pretty sure Simon could have kept going for the rest of this episode, and that would have made my job much easier. Not to mention it would create a more realistic and better-written show than this series has ever produced. Simon and Rose decide to travel back to Glenoak, and seal the deal with a kiss.
No expense was spared for the Season Finale Edition of the Opening Credits Timewaster. It consists of RevCam pacing around the Church Office. That's it. At one point, he changes it up by looking at his watch, but I think that was more of Stephen Collins wondering when the hell his summer vacation is starting so he can get to work on his newest "erotic thriller" than it is a stage direction. Finally, Greta the CPS lady enters, as per my wishes last week. She's there to exposit the whole Asslee's parents adoption deal and to talk about those horrid foster children and their awesome crackhead mom, who has a habit of refusing to relinquish her parental rights when someone tries to adopt her kids, which someone could have told poor George before he got all excited about his new family. Greta says that the Davis mom might even try to interfere with George and Gwen's foster parent bid by asking for custody back. Whatever she does, I hope it involves blowing smoke in RevCam's face again.
“ Lucy protests that tomorrow is Sunday, the Sabbath, and she has a problem with doing things on Sunday, like looking at houses or using scissors or anything else that might cut that umbilical cord keeping her attached to Annie. ”
Annie makes a phone call. Matt's answering machine picks up after one ring and doesn't have any outgoing message. Not very realistic, but since it means I don't have to hear PC's raspy voice, I appreciate it. Anyway, Annie wants to know what's going on with Mary and Carlos, as she's having "one of those Mother Feelings" that something is wrong. I never want to hear Annie discuss her "Mother Feelings" with Matt ever again.
Kevin still doesn't know how to pronounce "realtor" as he tells Lucy that their real-i-tor has some properties to show them tomorrow. Lucy protests that tomorrow is Sunday, the Sabbath, and she has a problem with doing things on Sunday, like looking at houses or using scissors or anything else that might cut that umbilical cord keeping her attached to Annie. Kevin says that Lucy has had a problem with every single house they've looked at, and he doesn't think they'll ever move. Lucy says she just wants their new house to be perfect, and if it takes a while to find the perfect house, then that's okay. But she really does want to move. They only have this conversation twice EVERY EPISODE so it's not too tiresome. Kevin wonders how long the house-hunting process will take. "It takes as long as it takes," says Lucy. "What does that mean?" asks Kevin. "It means what it means," Lucy answers. Off-screen, Savannah cries because she hates it when people are unnecessarily vague.
Ruthie comes to the Treehouse to talk to Martin. Their discussion goes in annoying circles, because Ruthie thinks that Martin likes her while Martin thinks that Vincent told Ruthie the truth about wanting to dump her. It is pretty funny to hear Ruthie say that she doesn't want to be the reason why Martin dumps Zoe and she's sorry she has to reject him and hopes he's not too crushed by her rejection. She doesn't even notice his disgusted expression at the prospect of being with her. She packs a lot of self-esteem into that little body of hers.
RevCam and Greta talk to George and Gwen, who is actually present. I'm a little disappointed; I was hoping Gwen wouldn't be in this episode either, and her conspicuous absence would be explained with more excuses about her sick mother or going to London for job training. Greta the Eternal Optimist asks the Smiths if they really want to go through with trying to adopt the Davis children now that they'll have to endure lots of legal crap to do it. George and Gwen tell RevCam and Greta all about how they originally only intended on being foster parents to one child, but then RevCam totally screwed them over and saddled them with pre-adopting three kids whose mother is an angry crackhead. Greta uncharacteristically smiles as they recount their tale of woe and betrayal, because she takes pleasure in the misfortunes of others. The Smiths continue that now that they've met the Davis children, they can't imagine their lives without them, which is supposed to be touching or whatever, but I think they're really saying that they've lost their innocence and can never go back to a time where they were blissfully unaware of annoying children with big, bright eyes and hearts full of hope and courage despite their unfortunate circumstances. The Smiths say that they'll fight as hard as they have to for the Davis children. "What's ?" Gwen asks. Greta says that when she has a "problem" in family court, she likes to go "right to the top." Then she looks at RevCam, because in this town, he IS the top. Just ask Capt. "Do My Bidding and You'll Get Another Promotion" Michaels.