At NOA-TV, Kelley is being filmed saying that she most admires her parents for their perseverance. In an interview, Matt explains that they are each going to answer five questions that will reveal their personalities. Matt tells the camera that his favorite book is Imitation of Christ by Thomas A Kempis. I have a momentary flashback to my sophomore year of college when I had to read The Confessions of St. Augustine and Imitation of Christ and the writings of Thomas Aquinas, and frankly, I was bored stiff by the whole thing. ["Ditto." -- Wing Chun] Sure, in the history of the world and of philosophy, those writings were all important, but doesn't it seem a little pretentious to claim it's your favorite book? And as a Christian, shouldn't your favorite book be a little thing we like to call "The Bible"? Melissa says that the thing she loves most about New Orleans is Magazine Street. In an interview, Matt says that answering these questions helps the viewers learn about the "correspondents and hosts without telling all." Were they supposed to hide the fact that they were on The Real World while doing this show? That's what Matt's comment says to me. Plus, why do the viewers need to "get to know" the hosts and correspondents? That seems a little egotistical. When I turn on Dateline, I don't hope for a little vignette about Jane Pauley's life. Well, actually, I do because she's married to Garry Trudeau, and he's a personal hero of mine, but you know what I mean. Pretend I said Stone Phillips instead of Jane Pauley. Yeah, that's the ticket. Stone Phillips.
Okay, this is the most horrific part of the season thus far, so prepare yourselves. It all starts out innocuously enough. David comes in to tape his "Five Questions" segment, and sits down with a keyboard in front of him. The keyboard is a little suspicious, but I think maybe he's going to answer one of the questions by saying he enjoys making music and playing a little something. In an interview, David says that he's a "creative-type person" and he "doesn't want to jus sit there and say, 'My name is...' with pictures flashing" and that he "has to make it something." Throughout this interview, we see footage of David making that terrible constipated face he made in the first episode when he was making up a song for Julie, and after the interview is over, we find out that he is SCATTING! I know you think I am kidding, but I'm not. I'm totally serious. He's all Ella Fitzgerald: "Doobah, dweeee! Dwat doo dow!" There's nothing wrong with scatting per se. I mean, my favorite TV theme song, The Tick, is just a bunch of scat, really. It's just that David should not scat, especially if he's going to make those ridiculous faces. Like, this is how he wants to be introduced to the viewers. Then it gets worse. He starts singing! He even tells us in an interview that he started off with a "scat and sing" to introduce his personality. He sings an "original" song, and the lyrics are,
Come on, be my baby tonight.
Come on, be my baby tonight.
I've seen the way you've treated other thugs you've been with.
Come on, be my baby tonight.