CamPound. Ruthie stares at Peter, who writes. Peter says, "This is all your fault. I should have put a stop to my mom dating this guy before they decided to get married." I think this is the quickest I've ever been stunned and stumped while writing a SevHev recap. Last week, we left off with The Guy Peter's Mom Is Dating, Dick, threatening Peter with abuse (or putting him out of the house) while sitting in church. Now, Dick and Peter's Mom are getting hitched? And Peter never said anything about the threat? And somehow this is RUTHIE'S fault? Oh, Brenda, Brenda, Brenda. Who did this to you? Ruthie makes a nasty little face and says her dad "won't let it happen." Peter says he "has a feeling that Dick won't let Reverend Hampton, or anyone else, get in the way." Yes, Dick can be unswervingly singleminded at times. Heh.
Rev's Office. Peter's Mom, Paris, and Dick (heh) sit with their wide, whitebread-toothpaste smiles on. They want the Rev to marry them, and he, like any religious leader, peppers them with questions making sure they're doing it for the right reasons. And to provide a little exposition. Dick says it's not a big deal they got engaged on the first date. He knew his first wife for years before they got married, and look how well that turned out, heh heh. And Peter? Well, he'd be threatened by any man that came into his territory, of course. Dick is "confident" he can "win him over," because he's "not just marrying Paris. [He's] marrying Paris and Peter." Oh, creepy, creepy, CREEPY! Why don't you just say you're JOINING A FAMILY instead of MARRYING A LITTLE KID? Here comes my dinner.
Credits. Seeeaa-venth heaven! When I see their happy faces, smilin' back at me...seeeaa-venth heaven! Where can you goooooo! When the world don't treat you right? The answer is hoooome! Mmmm! Seeeaa-venth heaven! Woof!
Church. Go, guitar, go! Lights up in Eric's office, as he and Chandler...Hampton pore over letters, some on foofy lilac stationery, some on the more ordinary white paper. Apparently all the letter-writers do not have beef with the shit sermons and soggy pancake breakfasts; they all want to be married by the Rev. Two words for these letter-writers: City. Hall. Eric hands a bunch of the letters over to Chandler. Then he tells Chandler to marry some of these couples. That asked for Eric to marry them. And to call on them for counseling stat, since those dates are coming up soon. And to tell them Eric can't perform the ceremony. Oh, so you can ask a man of the cloth to marry you, and they'll squeeze the religious counseling in around your date? They are so not Catholic. Chandler makes a face when Eric says that he can perform ALL the weddings and ALL the counseling if Chandler changes his mind about going home to make peace with his father before he passes away. Chandler...Hampton looks at him like, the hell? Then he waves his hand brusquely like, bring these stupid weddings ON. And wow, another head-scratcher. If Chandler leaves, Eric will willingly double his own workload? But if Chandler stays, Eric'll just pass the buck and hand over half the weddings he was personally asked to do? And Chandler, a reverend, has a dying father he refuses to make peace with? God, this show is fucked up.
Simon mops and mops. Two of the weirdest-looking people I've ever seen walk all over the newly mopped floor and begin speaking brightly. Um, these are Cecilia's parents, right? God, they're fugly. I'd say "get surgery," but it's obvious both of them have had lots, and they still look freaky. When the blonde woman says it's their twentieth wedding anniversary, I let out a little scream, and my dog goes running for the kitchen because I've seen a mouse in there for the past few days and he likes to play with it. I mean, the guy could have been married for twenty years, but this chick? What, is she from Arkansas or something? Are they cousins? You know what I mean. All I really have to say about these scary surgery twins is that Botox is poisonous, so cut it out, and I hope that whatever that guy has done to his lips is reversible. He looks like a fucking marionette! Anyway, they want Reverend Camden to marry them again, and Cecilia "She Ain't Beautiful" Ugulera says they can talk about it later. Freaky Surgery Woman leads Freaky Surgery Dude away as he protests that they've already thought about this, and they "really want to do it!" Um, who's the adult and who's the kid, here? God I hate this show. Simon pushes his mop, then says his parents renewed their vows on their twentieth anniversary. Cecilia says that his parents aren't her parents. Good, I was right. Those overly-surgery-faced freaks were her parents. I still hate this show.
Eric's Office. The phone rings. Chandler gets it, and it's a booty call from Roxanne. She's all, what are you wearing? I'm in uniform, baby. This is a code H-O-T-A-S-S, and I'm zeroing in on your location. Sorry, again, get thee to the fanfic section on the boards if you're into this sort of thing. Chandler says he's "about to disappoint" some couples by saying he's going to marry them, instead of the Rev. Roxanne feels the need to inflate Chandler's ego for some reason, and tells him that maybe the couples secretly wanted him to marry them and "didn't want to go around" Eric. Chandler growls, "I doubt it." He really growls it; he sounds like he's using one of those cancer kazoo things. Then Roxanne says, "Call me back and tell me all about it," and Chandler says, "I'll call you back and tell you all about it." The hell? I should be thankful that there was no split screen in that boring phone conversation, but they lost me with that fucked-up goodbye.
A couple walk into the office and introduce themselves. Holy shit, it's Mayim Bialik! I thought she was a scientist now, and taught voice or led a choir or something? She's acting again? And now she's appearing on THIS SHOW? Okay: who's got the dirt on Mayim "Blossom-ed Into A Woman And 'Quit The Business,' If You Believe That For A Second" Bialik? In what closet did she stash the body? Someone write and tell me, please. For those of you just reading along at home, Mayim looks EXACTLY the same as she did when she was a child actress. Same huge...smile. Same giant...personality. Gotta love that schnozz. She's wearing a denim jacket and a hat with a giant flower on it. Just kidding about the hat. OR AM I?
Anyway, Mayim and her husband, Mark, come in and ask where Eric is. Um, not here. And Chandler will be leading the counseling sessions. And, um, marrying them too. Of course, they are overjoyed. They wanted to ask for Chandler, but didn't want to offend Eric! Just like Roxanne said! And the last time they did this, Eric made them get in a fight and Mark's mother got involved! And they "still haven't resolved their differences" but they "want to get married!" Oy, with the giant smiles. I have a headache.
CamPound. Eric walks in with "that milk" for Annie, and she goes OFF on him for eating a powdered donut, the evidence of which is all over his face. I love how she doesn't assume he went on a cocaine binge. I mean, whoever does that anymore? It's all donut this and Michelob Ultra that at every party I attend. Eric says it's "been so long" since he had a donut, and he had a stressful day. Ruthie walks in and says, "Please tell me part of your stressful day was telling Dick and Peter's mom you're not marrying them?" Then she says it again. Then she says it a third time. Wow, is this Groundhog Day? I thought this recap was going fast. Oh no, she's just being extra-annoying. Peter still doesn't like Dick, she says. Eric says Dick and Paris's counseling sessions are confidential, and that he can't discuss it with Ruthie or Annie. Annie sends him off to wash his face.
Ruthie tromps off to Lucy's room. Lucy yells peevishly that she's studying. Ruthie asks when the KevBot will be home, since she has to ask him a "favor," which is "private business." Hey, did anyone notice Ruthie's shirt in this scene? It's a monkey t-shirt, and he's holding a little pennant? And he has rosy cheeks? It's like Hello Kitty and Julius got together to make a t-shirt, like, for losers, and this is the result. I know that Paul Frank and Sanrio are way too cool to allow their product on this show, but this shirt is proof positive. Lucy pries and noses, and learns that it isn't "a brother-in-law kind of favor," but a "police kind of favor." Lucy puts down her book to listen.
Lights up on the sign that reads "Glenoak Community Church." Denomination, who cares! Got God? Sure we do! BYOB(ible). Chandler sits, face creased like an old newspaper, as he listens to Mayim and Mark natter on. She says his mom hates her; he disagrees. Chandler tries to shake them off the subject of Mark's Hateful Mom, and back onto the two of them. Mayim, it seems, got engaged to some guy while on the rebound from Mark. And all told, she's been engaged to seven guys. Chandler asks if Mark has "ever been engaged to another woman, or women?" Nope. Mayim says why: "Because no woman is ever going to marry a guy with a mother like that." Mark insists that she's not that bad. I want to see this bad mom! Who could they get to play her? How about Shirley MacLaine? Or maybe Meryl Streep? That would rule. But it'll probably just be Mayim with a babushka and some powder in her hair. The phone rings, and Chandler picks it up, says "not yet," then hangs up. Roxanne was on the other end. She asks Kevin to drop her at "Chandler's," since she can "feel" he's having a bad night. Kevin thinks Roxanne should leave Chandler alone and not press him into seeing his dad before he dies. The hell? How come everyone knows about Chandler's dad but me? ["Let me bring you up to speed. He's dying. Chandler hates him. That's...about it." -- Sars]
Peter's House. Dick takes a beer from the fridge. Mmm, beer. Oh wait, it's a wine cooler. Blecch. Peter walks into the kitchen. Dick asks how his homework is going. Peter sullenly says fine. Dick says he "can drop the attitude." Peter says, almost hopefully, "And if I don't?" Wow, that is so not what a frightened person says. That's what a person who wants a fight says. And scared kids shouldn't pick fights with drunk men. Dick slides off the counter (which everyone saw in the ads, in super-scary slo-mo) and heads toward him. Paris walks in and echoes, "And if you don't?" Good timing, Mom. Of course, Peter could have just yelled, MOM! Dick says that "this is between" him and Peter, but Peter insists that she stay, since this is "between all of us." Peter doesn't want his mom to get married, since she barely knows Dick. Hee. Peter asks if Dick wants "to be [his] new dad." Dick says he knows Peter already has a dad, and that he just "wants to be [Peter's] friend." Peter is not buying it, and runs out of the kitchen. Dick lets him go, then grabs Paris in a big, huge, giant embrace, and says he "understands" that Peter feels threatened, and that he'll "never let [her] go, Paris Petrowski." As they hug, the camera tightens on Dick's eyes, which are shifty. But still. Less talking, more child-beating, please.
CamPound. Simon's on the phone with Cecilia. There is no stupid split screen. He asks why she didn't want her parents to be married by his dad; then her creepy-looking mom walks in and she gets off the phone in a hurry. Creepy Mom asks why Cecilia didn't want Eric to marry them. Oh my god, this show is like a fucking echo chamber tonight. Cecilia says that now she's perfectly okay about Eric re-marrying her parents, even though she doesn't know why they'd want to do it. Creepy Mom asks what's bothering Cecilia. Then, the scene ends. The hell?
Roxanne waits in a chair, wearing sweatpants. I'd venture to guess she's at the Camdens' guest house, but didn't Chandler say he was moving to Mrs. Bink's guest house just last week? I guess we'll see, if a creepy Camden or a strange little dog wanders into the scene. Chandler walks up and is surprised to see Roxanne, since she didn't say she was coming. He went down to the pool hall for a burger and "saw a couple of guys from the church." Oh, for god's sack. "A couple of guys from the church"? As if. He and Roxanne suck face for a bit, and I throw up a little bit in my mouth. It tastes like Cadbury Creme Eggs. Roxanne says that Chandler's brother called to tell her about Chandler's dad. Okay, Chandler's brother is with his dad, but not Chandler, the reverend? What is Chandler's brother, a saint? Is his name Jesus "Mother Teresa" Chandler? What is the deal? I remember how Roxanne's dad indirectly threatened Chandler with a gun, but what did Chandler's dad ever do? Is his dad Charlie Manson Hampton? ["His dad basically disowned him for wanting to become a minister. His dad also drove his brother to addiction, but now that Sid's recovered, he's able to forgive his...you know what? Forget it. It makes no sense. I hate this goddamn show." -- Sars] Roxanne says Chandler's dad is "going to be [her] father-in-law," and she wants to meet him before he dies. Chandler says that "now that [Roxanne] her gotten [her] way and [they're] arguing about this," he's going to say goodnight "before [he] get[s] angry, so GOODNIGHT." Dude! So not reverend-ly!
Lucy and Kevin are in bed. They are not, thank god, having married sex. She rolls over and says she loves being married to him. He says the same thing back, then kiss, and then she asks if he can run a background check on someone to see if they've been arrested before. Ruthie asked her to ask Kevin. Kevin says juvenile records are sealed, so it's not that easy. Lucy says it's not a juvenile, it's Dick. Duh. Kevin says that she should mention it to her dad, or that Peter should mention it to her dad. Wow, can Kevin ever not suck? He's always such an ass. Just last week Peter was truant from school and pummeled him, and now he's all trying to pass the buck. Lucy finally plays her trump card, a.k.a. "pleeeeeease," and Kevin agrees to run the background check on this guy he barely knows. Well, it's not like he ever has a real crime to work on.
CamPound Kitchen. Oh no. The twins. They say, "Good morning!" Ruthie walks in and says, "Is it?" SamVid says, "I think sooo...meee tooo!" Oh, it's creepy. Annie sends the twins off to make their beds. They ask, "With clean sheets, or with dirty sheets?" Oh, god. Annie says, "Dirty," then corrects herself, because they "just put the sheets on yesterday." Oh, someone kill me. Ruthie tells her mom that she gets "a horrible feeling in her stomach whenever [she] talks to Peter." Maybe you looove him? Oh no, she's "afraid for him." And she feels that Eric is "not listening." Maybe Kevin can "arrest him and put him in jail!" Annie tells Ruthie that "everything will be fine," and to trust her dad, because he's "good at what he does." She can't calm Ruthie down at all. "He WAS good at what he does. He WAS. But this is now!" Sing it, Ruthie. The sad guitar plucks away.
Paris is making pancakes. Peter walks in and asks if it's a holiday, or if she's trying to get him to like her new fiancé. She says, "The second." Wow, she made a whole pile of pancakes. How can you just walk into room piled full of pancakes like that and pick a fight? I mean, it's pancakes. He's acting surprised. Does Peter have no sense of smell? Anyway, Paris says she's staying home from work today, and Peter sullenly asks if she's picking out wedding dresses. Paris says no, and that Dick wants to take care of them, and what's wrong with that? Peter says, "We can take care of us." Sha la la laaa. Then, in walks Dick, with two kinds of syrup! Okay, I like Dick. There, I said it. Peter tries to walk out on the pancakes, saying that he and Ruthie were going to walk to school early to use the computer in the library. Dick says he has a computer "all hooked up to the internet!" Wow, Dick has a computer? Dick uses the internet? Dick is so 1999. Surf, Dick, surf. Peter huffs and sighs and grumbles and groans and you get the idea.
Church. Rev Eric walks in and does the exact thing I say when I want a treat. He says, "You want a donut?" Chandler says, "You stopped for donuts?" No, but Eric is willing to go out and get some. I always say, "You want brownies?" Or ice cream, or pudding, or whatever treat of the moment I don't want to eat alone. Unfortunately, my b.f. is virtuous, and eats vanilla yogurt and Fiber One for fun. He likes it. When I say, "You want brownies?" I want the other person to say, "YEAH!" Then I can go make brownies and know I won't be eating them all. But Ben just says, "I'll just have some Fiber One and vanilla yogurt." In conclusion, thanks to Ben, I am not a tub. Just frustrated. Anyway, Eric is trying to get a partner in crime for his covert donuts, and I am feeling him. Chandler just says, "Should you be eating donuts?" Screw you, Chandler. Eric makes the point that "we all have to do things we don't want to do." Meaning, go home and see your dad, Chandler. Chandler asks if there was a lesson in taking on Mayim and Mark. Eric says, "Mmm." Chandler says that maybe he doesn't need a lesson. Eric says, "Mmm." Chandler says that maybe he already learned his lesson, and maybe he called his dad, and maybe his dad told him not to bother. Eric looks at his desk. Chandler walks out, then leans in to ask peevishly if Eric had to give him the most difficult couple in the church to counsel. Eric watches him go, then says they're not the most difficult. Anyone want a Michelob Ultra?
Eric calls Peter's house. Dick gets it. "Is this Dick?" Hee. Eric asks if Paris and Peter can come in and discuss whatever's bothering Peter. Dick totally hijacks the conversation and says he'd love it if the three of them came in and learned "how to communicate as a family." Wow, Dick is bossy.
School. Simon and his giant eyebrows walk over to Cecilia's locker. She says there's something about her parents that "no one knows." Ooh, I love that QOTSA song. I love all their songs. I love them. Then the music gets all dramatic and we cut to commercial.
School, again. Simon says, "What?" Cecilia says that now his dad will know, then his mom, and then "once it's out, it's out. It's just so embarrassing." And how did she find out? Her "Uncle Walter." Remember, the guy who used to manage their family's cleaning service, and stole money and tried to bribe Simon, then blame it on him? I do. Simon is all, "Why are you still calling him your Uncle Walter?" She's all, "Okay. Walter told me." Because he didn't know that she didn't know. DIDN'T KNOW WHAT?!
Church. Chandler walks in, pulls out a giant sandwich, and begins to eat. Eric apologizes. Chandler hands him a salad, and pulls out a bacon burger and begins to eat that. Wow, a two-sandwich lunch. Hey, Chandler, you want some brownies? Eric asks if his father meant it when he said Chandler shouldn't come home. Chandler says yeah, and that he's learned something from living with Mrs. Bink -- that "treatment isn't easy when you're surrounded with people that love and support you. Much less people that you haven't been nice to. Maybe he simply isn't up to facing one more person. Maybe he's not ready to contemplate his life and death. Maybe he isn't going to be." Eric says maybe there "doesn't need to be a big dramatic scene." Chandler scoffs at the idea that he could "just show up and talk about the weather." Eric says they could. Chandler says that staying away might give his father "peace." Eric says, "But what would it give you?" Because if you don't act with your own interests in mind, you're not really on SevHev. Just then, Mayim and Mark walk in and say they're going to Vegas. Not to gamble, or to see a show. To get married! Hopefully by a Jon Bon Jovi impersonator. I wonder if you can get married by a Woody Allen impersonator? That would be hilarious. Chandler asks to talk to them in the hall.
Mayim is really into the Vegas elopement idea, since it means that Mark's mom is out of the picture. Mark says "she'll get over it." Mayim says, "Hey, maybe she won't even care." Chandler, taking the all-about-me thing to yet a new level, says, "I care." He wanted the mom to come in to the session to see what she has to say. Mayim is not down with this idea, but Mark likes it. "Let him have a shot at the old bag." Hey, he just called his own mom an old bag. And ooh, I'll take a shot. Mark's mother is so fat, you have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot. She's so fat that when you yell, "HEY, KOOL-AID," she jumps through a wall and says, "OH YEAH!" She's so fat, when she cuts her leg shaving, she bleeds milkshakes. She's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Get the mustard, it's Mark's mom! And she's coming in, woo. Kaboom. Kaboom. Those are the sounds of Mark's mom's faraway footsteps.
Chandler walks in to see a few bites taken out of his burger. Eric is guilty, and off to counsel Paris, Peter, and Dick.
Cop station. Roxanne wants an apology from Chandler. Kevin tells her to accept his apology, then apologize herself. She's "not doing either." She just really wants Chandler to see his dad. But she doesn't know what we know! Oh, this is so boring. Kevin takes a call and takes off without her. Good move.
Chandler sits at Eric's desk, getting info on how to pick a ripe melon from Mrs. Bink via a non-split-screen phone conversation. A woman walks in -- not Meryl, not Shirley, not Mayim in a babushka. But it is Mark's mom. She's a pretty brunette, and says she's "not afraid" of Mayim, and she "isn't afraid to share what [she] know[s]. [Mayim] is a grifter, a con artist, engaged to seven different men in seven cities." Well, Mayim don't know about the future. That's anybody's guess. There ain't no point in getting all depressed. In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine. Hey, Mark's mom! Stop all your fussin' and slap on a smile! Anyway, Mark's mom, "a mother, a woman," hired a private investigator and learned Mayim had extorted money from each of her fiancés. Well, at least she didn't murder them all. Chandler asks if Eric knew about this. Mark's mom says that's probably why he passed on counseling them. She says not to tell anyone. But then, since Chandler's living with Mrs. Bink, he "probably doesn't care what people think." God, this show is weird.
Eric sits in his home office with Peter, Paris, and Dick. Dick sings a good song about wanting to be involved in Little League ["and as a former Little League umpire, let me just say, this is concrete proof that Dick is a complete nutter" -- Sars] and loving to "fish," and Peter just says he wants Dick to leave. Paris and Dick say they "want this to work," and when Dick takes Paris's hand, Peter rolls his eyes and heaves a giant sigh. Eric sends Peter out, then suggests a child psychologist. Maybe just the writing on the wall? Eric calls "Dr. Gibson" and makes an appointment for that night. Dick and Paris leave happily, and Eric looks furrowed and concerned.
Cecilia's house. Her parents sit, facing her and Simon. They all sputter at each other for a bit, then finally it's revealed: Cecilia's parents were NEVER MARRIED! Gasp, rutabaga rutabaga, well I NEVAH! They "were meaning to" but Cecilia "came early," and they "ARE married," since they've been living together for twenty years. So, why the church wedding now? They "want to." So, Cecilia's a bastard? Aww, she's illegitimate. Aww. Cecilia's mom says she felt a "embarrassed" and "a little ashamed" for "lying to everyone for all these years." And now, they "want to" get married. They're "madly in love" with each other, have a license, and Simon says he'd "be honored to have [his] dad marry [them]." Simon? Shut up.
Roxanne knocks on Mrs. Bink's guest house door. She's got one rose in her hand. Chandler says there were "supposed to be many more flowers involved" with the apology bouquet he sent her. She just came over with the one rose to apologize to him, in person. And she doesn't want to fuck his brains out anymore. Now, she wants to wait. Until they get married. Then she goes, God, I KNEW I shouldn't have become friends with Lucy! Riiight, the married sex thing. Chandler heads down to the church, but his parting shot is that she could get to be friends with Mrs. Bink to "get a second opinion on sex and marriage." Oh, gross. He leaves, and Roxanne picks up the phone to call Lucy. Lucy answers, and Roxanne says, "You are my best friend forever." Lucy is all, "Roxanne?" Oh, boy. Roxanne says that Lucy "was right, and by telling Chandler that she wants to wait, now she feels he "can hardly wait. Worked like a charm!" Barf. Lucy asks if Roxanne is really going to wait, since she's such a ho and all. Roxanne says yes, but since she's so used to perusing guys, she's "never really given [herself] the chance to be perused." Lucy says, "I think you're gonna like it!" They hang up. I throw up. Ruthie, Annie, and then Eric walk in to join Lucy in the kitchen. What's going on? Eric can't say. They all hug each other.
Mayim explains herself to Chandler and Mark. Apparently, every bride keeps the ring when the engagement goes kaput. Except for the one guy that gave her his house. What was she supposed to do with a pig farm? And that guy that gave her his boat. What, she was supposed to take the pigs fishing? And the ring she only got three or four grand for! Silver can really look like platinum. Chandler asks if Mark still wants to go to Vegas. He says no.
Dick, Paris, and Peter sit with the counselor Eric sent them to, Dr. Gibson. Dick goes on and on about how he wants to be a family. Dr. Gibson interrupts him, then asks Peter if Dick ever threatened him. Peter comes clean and tells them what Dick said in church last week. Dick is all, what? Dr. Gibson calls Dick "a classic abuser," and describes how controlling he's been acting and how he made Paris doubt her parenting skills and already got her to miss work, then picks up the phone and says, "We're ready now." Kevin and Eric walk in. Dick sputters that they better have proof of what they're saying. Kevin says that Dick's ex-wife filed a restraining order against him, which Dick is on parole for having violated. And Dick isn't to come near Paris or Peter ever again. "Don't call, don't write." Eric says Dick is welcome in his office anytime, though. All the while, Paris is sitting there like, huh? What? When did my life become a soap opera? When you moved to Glenoak, that's when. Dick stands up and asks Eric if he'll help him like he helped out tonight. Eric says tonight "was about Paris and Peter." Hey, remember that really awesome episode of , when Steve made a new friend named Dick who did a lot of drugs, then OD'ed at the PPAD (like River Phoenix at the Viper Room, God rest his soul) and Steve threw a bong and said, "WHO LEFT THIS POT PIPE HERE!" Then Steve tries to smoke a bowl and Brandon stops him, and Steve cries out, "Dick's dead, Dick's dead, Dick's dead!" God, I love that episode. This is not that good. Dick walks out. Um, he still lives door to Paris. Paris? Get a home security system. Good thing you already have a dog that hates Dick. Paris finally gets a word out: "How did this happen?" Dr. Gibson says, "Oh, it happens. These guys know the game and you don't even know you're in one!" And Peter? He's a "really good judge of character," so "listen to him time." ["But...but...HE'S DATING RUTHIE! Oh, I give up." -- Sars] Dr. Gibson suggests they all "hang out there and talk" for a while, since this had to have been "quite a shock." Yes, let's have a real heavy rap, let it all hang out, what do you say? The phone rings, and it's for Eric. The scene ends with a close-up of Eric's face.
Cecilia's parents are getting married RIGHT NOW. No dress, no party, no guests, just Annie and Simon and Cecilia. Eric tosses on his robe and gets to the verse. The end.