Rory tells her mom she'll try to make it home weekend, hangs up, and walks out to the living-room area of her ridiculously well-furnished and gigantic dorm suite, where Paris is slumped in an easy chair listening to loud Sousa-esque music. "I just wanted to inform you that you're pathetic," Rory shouts over the noise. Wow, Rory is nice. Paris tells Rory that if she's pathetic, then Rory is even more so, because Rory is still in denial. About what, exactly? Well, it turns out that at some point during the hiatus between new episodes, Logan and Doyle lost interest in Rory and Paris, respectively. A major plot point that occurs off-camera? Am I actually watching 7th Heaven? I thought this show was supposed to be good.
Zack (as portrayed by Pamie's friend Todd Lowe, but who is not my friend Todd Lowe, and who shall thus be known as his original character name henceforth) and Lane stop by Sophie's Music, where the Carole King cameo tells Zack to invest in hand cream. Lane steps up to Sophie and babbles on and on about not owning too many records until Sophie tells her to get to the point. I'm not a big fan of Carole King's "acting," but I would be more than willing to have her on the show more if it means that she'll stop up some of these characters' diarrhea mouths. Lane's point is that, among all her mother's Christian albums, she managed to find one record of secular songs, and it was written by Sophie! Is it called Tapestry, by any chance? Sophie verifies that the record is hers, but doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Lane, on the other hand, thinks it is a very big deal, and suddenly wants to be a songwriter herself, and wonders if maybe she could buy Sophie a coffee sometime and get some songwriting advice? The less-than-flattered Sophie replies that if she ever has a few seconds without anything better to do, she'll consider having coffee with Lane. "It's a date!" says Lane.
Lorelai enters the diner, where Luke welcomes her as the "woman of the hour" and Lorelai tries not to snap back at him that she is the woman of the year at the very least. The "couple" share a weak hug that Lorelai initially tries to pull away from. Luke's uncharacteristic excitement comes from the fact that some travel magazine wants to do a cover story about the Dragonfly Inn. Luke has taken the liberty of looking up a bunch of the magazine's back issues and has some opinions about which of its staff should interview Lorelai. Frederick Fairmount, for example, talks more about himself than the person he's supposed to interviewing. Which, when combined with an interviewee who will talk more about herself than the Inn, would mean that approximately three words of the article will be devoted to the Inn. But it's a moot point, since Lorelai's pretty sure you don't get to chose your interviewer. ["That observation marks the beginning and end of Lorelai's comprehension about how journalism works." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai changes the subject to a new newspaper-covered hole in the diner window, which Luke blames on Taylor without going into specifics about it. Then he realizes that they're late for the town meeting, which he's suddenly eager to attend, despite never having expressed interest in a town meeting before.
I kind of wish Taylor didn't have such a keen sense of dramatic suspense, because now we have to see Lane confront Sophie about stealin' her man. Seriously, I think I've seen this scene about 7,000 times over on 7th Heaven with Lucy and her convoluted confrontations with every woman who so much as looks at her husband, so I don't want to go into great detail here. Basically, Zack isn't cheating on Lane; he goes to Sophie's Music to play banjo in a bluegrass band with some random people. He didn't want to tell Lane about it because the banjo isn't rock and roll, like she'd really care. And she doesn't. Everything is fine again.
Paris continues to beg for change in an increasingly belligerent manner. I just don't understand why no one is giving money to the shoeless girl who makes obscene gestures at and threatens the livelihoods of passersby.
Rory's still sitting around, now with several empty cups of punch in front of her. She presses a speed-dial button on her cell phone to reach Logan's answering machine. Logan's outgoing message is really obnoxious, all about his plans for the evening, which involve club-hopping with eleven people in a Hummer. The plans do not include Rory. She doesn't leave a message.
Back at the Diorama, sanitation during wartime is the topic, as local Stars Hollow manufacturer, Buff-Rite, provided urinal cakes to WWII soldiers. I guess I missed the part of Saving Private Ryan when Tom Hanks and his boys took a short break at the Front Lines Rest Stop Facilities. Lorelai's cell phone rings, and she takes off. Luke says he's seen enough of the diorama he previously seemed really excited about, and tells Lorelai he'll meet her outside. Sookie tells Luke's retreating form that she loves the diorama. "Remember the '60s?" asks Taylor's voice-over. Mannequins appear dressed in the stereotypical '60s hippie Halloween costume you know you wore.
Over by the early man display, Lorelai answers her still-ringing phone. Take it outside, Lorelai. People are trying to enjoy the diorama, and aside from what you might believe, they'd rather see that than listen to your cell phone ringtone and subsequent conversation. And I'm one of them! The diorama is the highlight of the episode! Take me back to it! But no: Sandra is on the phone, and she tells Lorelai that her article has gone over really well with everyone at the magazine -- especially the stuff about Emily, which was the "best part." Well, of course. Lorelai asks if the best part could possibly be removed from the article, "for a friend." "We're not friends," says Sandra, which is something Lorelai should have considered when she sat around gossiping with a complete stranger about her mother. ["'Off the record.' Four syllables, people." -- Wing Chun] Sandra says that their only option is to take the article out entirely, which means no cover story about the Dragonfly. ["That would not happen. Lorelai had already co-operated with the magazine on the story, and if it's already been edited, the magazine has either gone to print or is just about to, and they couldn't just drop a feature-length article; they'd be short pages. In short: ridiculous." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai hangs up and walks back to Sookie and the diorama, which is now detailing modern life in Stars Hollow. And by "modern life," Taylor seems to mean "the '50s," and by "in Stars Hollow," Taylor seems to actually mean "somewhere deep, deep in the Bible Belt." Mother serves breakfast for her perfect nuclear family. "I love Jesus," the daughter randomly says.