Smallville TV Show - Ambush - Smallville Recaps, Smallville Reviews, Smallville Episodes | TWoP

Recapped by Tippi Blevins · Aired 2010-11-05

Lucy Lane walks up the steps, clad in an outfit better suited in its skimpiness to a July 4th picnic than to a Thanksgiving dinner. She teases him about the General's chore list. "He likes to test Lois's boyfriends," she says. "He's convinced they all have something to hide." Well, judging by the ones we've seen on this show, he's certainly not wrong. But he's still a dick about it. So far, Lucy says, none of the boyfriends has passed. Clark is confident he'll pass. Lucy strips out of her apron and saunters up to him. "You've grown into quite a man in the past six years, Clark." Clark sees through her attempts at skankery and suggests she help Lois out in the kitchen. He leads her toward the stairs, but she grabs him and plants a kiss on him. Naturally, Lois enters the scene just in time to see them locking lips. Clark sputters. "Lois, your sister just... uh..." "Ambushed you," Lois offers. She's unsurprised. "This has 'Lucy' written all over it, in backstabbing bitch-berry lipgloss." Maybe it's Maybelline. Or maybe she's a tramp.

Lois drags Lucy out of the barn, scolding her for her attempt at coming between her and Clark. She tells Lucy to make herself useful and sends her off to the store for ice. Lucy rolls her eyes, clearly unappreciative of the fact that she still has eyes to roll. Lois returns to the barn to find Clark chopping wood with his bare hands. "'Chop and stack one cord of wood,'" he recites from the list, with just a hint of mocking in his tone. "Sir, yes, sir!" He whacks another chunk into neat, fireplace-ready logs. "Careful Dad doesn't catch you making with the kung fu, there, Paul Bunyan," Lois says. Ugh. Clark apologizes for the kiss, but Lois doesn't blame him. Although, now that she thinks about it... "You can put out a burning building, but you can't contain her hot lips?" she asks with uncharacteristic meekness. "She surprised me," Clark says, although he's more surprised that Lois hasn't stood up to her father. He wonders if Lois agrees with his Vigilante Registration Act. She assures him she doesn't, but she begs him not to make her choose sides. "I thought you were somebody who stood up for what she believed in," he says. He compares her to her father for making choices based on fear. Lois shoots back: "Hey, just because you don't have a--" She bites down on the last word before she can say it, but he guesses she was going to say "father." He's stinging and doesn't hide it. Lois takes a shaky breath. "What I'm trying to say is that you haven't had to deal with a family for a really long time," she says. "All you have to answer to is yourself!" For some reason, he doesn't remind her of his secret agent mother, super cousin, the asshole father who just disowned him or the dead father who sometimes helps him with chores. Lois tearfully tells him he's going to have to deal with her family if he wants to be with her. When he doesn't say anything, she sighs and leaves Clark to mull things over alone.

By Tippi Blevins

Meanwhile, that harlot Lucy has stopped at a gas station for ice. "I'm surprised the General's daughter would leave herself open to attack," a voice behind her says as she's bent over the freezer. Ew. She turns to face Rick Flag, now wearing Army fatigues. "Always watch your six, Ms. Lane," he says. He introduces himself as a colonel and flashes some ID at her. He tells her he needs her help. Because she is dumb, she listens to what this creepy man has to say, which is that General Lane is in danger. "We need to get him off that farm and away from Clark Kent," he says. Lucy scoffs at the idea of Clark being dangerous. Flag tells her that Clark is a vigilante sympathizer. He's helping people who want to stop Lane from completing his mission. Lucy thinks about this for a while, then asks for proof. Flag gives her an envelope with instructions to give it to her father. "Why not deliver it to him yourself?" she asks, popping the only kernel of common sense she has inside the Jiffy Pop bag that passes for her head. He says, "We don't want to arouse Kent's... suspicions." What a weird place to put a pause, Mr. Flag. He tells Lucy to say she found the envelope on the farm because it's safer, somehow, to lie to him. She thinks for a while, but eventually takes the envelope from him. Flag holds up a pen and asks her to plant it on her father. "It's a homing device," he explains. "It'll help us track and protect him." Weren't they tracking him at the beginning of the episode? Why the need for a homing device now? Lucy looks like she's finally going to be smart about the whole thing, but then Flag says the magic words: "The U.S. Army is depending on you, Lucy, and so is your father." Eager to be her daddy's hero, she takes the pen.

Watchtower. Night has fallen, but Tess and Oliver are still hard at work. Tess has intercepted a Suicide Squad transmission. "ASSASSINATE HERO TARGET IN SMALLVILLE" blinks in red on her computer screen. She tap-taps away, trying to decode the message so she can figure out who Flag is targeting. When her efforts don't produce instant results, Oliver rolls his eyes. "Come on, Chloe would have this finished like yesterday." You know, on the one hand, I'm sort of glad for the continuity of Oliver pining for Chloe, since this show is sort of notorious for just forgetting characters from one episode to the . On the other hand, he's being a big jerkface. He and Tess bicker a bit. He thinks about all the time he spent there with Chloe. He admits it's hard for him to be there with someone else. It's not like y'all are rutting like elk or anything. It's just work! Tess understands. "But at some point, you need to start treating me like I am on your side." These people are jerks, Tess; this is how they treat the people on their side. She gets back to work while Oliver waits impatiently.

By Tippi Blevins

In the kitchen, Lois is doing an admirable job of putting together the Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey looks golden brown, the cranberries appear to have been turned into a chunky relish. Clark walks into the kitchen. She immediately lays into him for not putting up with her dad for one day like she had asked. Clark very reasonably tells her that Sam had him investigated by the Pentagon. There were surveillance pictures of him with Kara. Further, he's pretty sure that Lucy planted them in the loft. Speak of the harlot, she's just walking down the steps into the kitchen, with Sam in tow. They both have their bags with them. "I thought it would be a good idea if we all went to your place tonight," she says. "Without Clark," she adds with a snitty look in his direction. Lucy gives her daddy a kiss on the cheek, sneaking the homing pen into his pocket as she does so. "Come on, let's go," he says to Lois. Lois tears up. "That's an order, young lady." She looks back and forth between her men, begging her father to stay and work things out. He refuses. He says Clark is dishonest and has dangerous friends. He tells Lois one more time to come with him. With an apology to Clark, she leaves with her annoying family.

In the Suicide Squad's black van, the monitors show that the General is leaving the farm. Goatee confirms this for us, in what now sounds like a vaguely Spanish accent. Flag is pleased, as this means Clark won't be able to rescue him. He uncovers a small rocket emblazoned with the American flag on its side. "Clark may be faster than a speeding bullet," he says, "but I bet he can't outrun this." He gives the missile an inappropriately salacious look. This guy is just all about the inappropriate.

By Tippi Blevins

Talon. Lois shows her annoying family into the apartment. She pleads with her father to talk things out with Clark, but Sam won't budge. He thinks Lois will get hurt when Clark "finally pays the price" for having vigilante friends. Lois tries to argue that not all the vigilantes are bad. Sam reaches into his pocket for his cellphone and pulls the homing pen out at the same time. He deposits the pen onto a nearby counter and starts dialing the NSA to do more digging into Clark. Lois finally finds a little piece of her spine and proclaims her love for Clark. "Everything you need to know about Clark is standing right in front of you," she says, her voice thick with the threat of tears. If he wants to know about Clark, all he has to do is ask her. It's her opinion that matters. "I'm staying with Clark," she says. The tears spill over. "And if you love me, you will respect that." Sam, for once, has no bluster to offer. Lucy quietly leads him away from the apartment. Naturally, he leaves the homing pen behind.

In the Suicide Squad van, Goatee readies the missile. Flag recites (but thankfully does not sing) lines from "The Star-Spangled Banner" to mark the occasion. "Missile is locked on target, sir," Goatee says, reverting to the generic Eastern European accent of earlier. At the same time, the Watchtower gang have assembled in their favorite phallic hangout. Clark is in his new red leather jacket, but it's unzipped so that the shield looks kind of like the two halves of one of those "best friends" heart pendants. He's looking at the screen where "ASSASSINATE HERO TARGET IN SMALLVILLE" is still blinking. "There's only one tattooed hero at that address," Oliver says. Clark looks at the screen, thinks about it for a while, and goes "I'm the target!" Have a cookie. Tess thinks it's odd that Flag would try to kill him rather than recruit him. She thinks Flag, having fought side by side with the super-powered, identifies with them. "To him, you're all freedom fighters," she says, "and he would attack anyone that threatens that." And yet, he tortures superheroes. Way to show the love, bud. Tess rattles off a list of those Flag might attack in his psycho zeal: "Presidents, senators, the military..." That makes Clark connect the dots between General Lane, the Vigilante Restriction Act and Flag. Clark zips away.

Flag launches the missile by simply pushing a big button that anybody could have bumped into. "God bless America," he says as it zips into the night sky. Sam and Lucy are walking to their car outside the Talon when the missile hits the building. Inside, the explosion hurls Lois and all her worldly possessions halfway to kingdom come. Suddenly everything slows to super-duper-slo-mo as Clark runs in. Lois falls incrementally toward the floor. A toaster does leisurely cartwheels through the air. The fireball expands at a glacial pace. As soon as Clark grabs Lois, everything speeds up again. The explosion rocks the Talon, blowing out the windows. "Lois!" Sam cries. I bet it smells like coffee for miles around now. Sam watches the fire with sad eyes. He seemed like the kind of guy who would go running in for his daughter, safety be damned. It's just as well he didn't, because Lois appears beside him as if by magic. He and Lucy embrace her. There's a whooshing sound and then Clark's symbol appears in flames on the wall of an adjacent building. Couldn't he make the symbol smaller, at least? Or maybe use a water-based paint instead of burning it into stuff? That can't be easy to clean up. And it seems like such a glory hog move. Sam is stunned to realize that the Blur saved his daughter's life. Does he not read the paper when he's keeping tally of Lois's bylines? The Blur saves her all the dang time!

By Tippi Blevins

Kent Farm. It's still night. Lois is still wearing the same clothes. The explosion did wonders for her hair and makeup. She looks flawless! She's back to her kitchen duties, trying to put together Thanksgiving dinner even though it must be past midnight by now. Lucy comes down the stairs, apologizing for nearly getting Lois killed. She promises to replace all of Lois's lost possessions. Lois is doubtful. She doesn't know if she and Clark can trust her again. Lucy, defeated, picks up her bag and walks toward the door. Lois softens. She understands trying to protect their father: "Our larger-than-life hero needing someone to protect him? Who wouldn't want to do that?" Lucy tearfully explains that she just wanted their dad to see her as more than a troublemaker. Well, congrats! Now he sees you as a troublemaker and an idiot! Well, I do, anyway. Lois admits she sort of liked Lucy as the troublemaker, because she was "finally able to be the good one." They hug and cry and promise to share their traveling pants or whatever the hell.

Watchtower. Tess is hard at work when Oliver shows up with a peace offering of beer and Chinese takeout. "I thought you said no happy hour," she teases. "Yeah, well, I'm still on the clock," he says with a chuckle. They talk about removing the tattoos; Dr. Hamilton is looking into it. In the meantime, feel free to lead the Suicide Squad to Watchtower! It's not like Chloe faked her death to keep them from finding out the team's secrets or anything. Tess and Oliver laugh about being friends... friendly... frenemies! "We survived tax audits and typhoons, Tess," Oliver says. "I think we're practically like family at this point." Aw. She raises a beer and toasts: "From the middle of the ocean to the top of the city." Oliver looks sad. He explains that now that everyone knows who he is, someone might follow him to Watchtower. There are those who count on Watchtower for secrecy and safety. "They didn't step out into the limelight like I did," he says. He realizes he can't go there anymore. Tess sympathizes with what a hard decision that must have been for him. It's his last tie to Chloe. He says, "Watchtower's in good hands, Tess." Tess smiles, flattered. Now eat your Chinese food before it gets cold!