Man, Michael Johns, why do I hate you so? I still haven't figured it out. Dolly sure seems to like him, though, saying she hopes to be able to write songs for him someday. That would be enough to get me on this show, the idea of Dolly Parton writing a song for me. Shit, my DVR is totally going to cut me off, isn't it? The show's running too long. Damn it, Seacrest, this is the ONE THING you're good at. So, okay, I think I've put my finger on one of the reasons for my hatred, and it's the fact that Michael's the kind of person who will wear a cravat while singing a Dolly Parton song. "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right" is the song, and...yeah, it's pretty good. Soulful and bluesy and he keeps his arms under control. Well done. Randy thought it was "blazing hot," and Paula says he's a star, and Simon's comments will be forever lost to oblivion because Ryan Seacrest couldn't get the show in on time. Good thing we had time for that April Fool's joke, though.
I missed the rundown, too, but pretty much: Carly, Jason, the Davids, and Michael were good; Brooke was disappointing; Ramiele was competent; Syesha was irritating; and Kristy Lee was coasting. Going home? I honestly have no idea. If I were Brooke White, I'd be awfully nervous.