Nathan from Seattle and Rachel from San Francisco try to convince us that we are watching a live reunion. We all know that it's taped. Thus begins my agony. Rachel looks about a million times better than she did on the most recent reunion show, having grown out her unfortunate "Courteney Cox Arquette in Scream 3" bangs. She's wearing a lavender sweater and yellowish leather pants that clash horribly, though. Nathan is Nathan: a hick.
Okay, I know you all really want to know what everyone looks like, so I'll start with that. Matt, Julie, and Jamie are sharing a couch in the front. Julie has cut her hair to about shoulder-length and dyed it red. It's very much in the anime style of Willow on Buffy with the ends flipped out. She's very shiny and puffy-looking. Although I think the red hair might suit her in some way, she doesn't look good. Matt looks the same as he did during the season, but he's wearing these Elton John blue-tinted sunglasses and python pants. He also has a blue button-down shirt on with the two middle buttons done, which makes him look like he has a big beer gut busting out. Jamie looks pretty much the same, except that he has shaved his head in a Dawson's Creek season premiere Pacey kind of way. Of course, if you read Melissa's interview on this site, you knew that.
Behind them, on a couch, are David, Kelley, and Melissa. David looks bigger somehow, and he's wearing yellow-lensed rectangular sunglasses. He still looks like one of the Boyz II Men to me. Kelley looks great. Her hair is a little longer and much fuller, and she has on a halter top. Melissa also looks fabulous. Her hair is a little longer than it was during the season, and she's wearing a green sleeveless rollneck sweater with jeans. And braces!
Sitting in a chair all by his lonesome is Danny. He's got a weird haircut that I don't really find flattering, but somehow he manages to pull it off and look cute. He's wearing a blue sweater, and not a gray one.
The first question Rachel asks is about the kiss between Matt and Julie. Matt says he just wanted to get out of there. Julie giggles and says that they didn't show the part where Matt went to kiss her and she turned her head. Julie cracks herself up with that one, but no one else laughs. Nathan asks whether it's hard to watch yourself on television. Matt gives a non-answer that amounts to "Yes." Rachel asks Julie to compare Jamie and Matt in the kissing department. I think if they are hiring in the kissing department, Julie should get the job. Julie doesn't answer. Rachel tells Nathan that on-camera kisses can be trouble. Hee! See, because Nathan cheated on his girlfriend during his season. My God, Rachel and Nathan are terrible.
Rachel asks how they feel now that the show is over -- whether they feel like a Miss America who has lost her crown. She directs the question to Danny. Danny pulls a face, while Kelley comments, "Danny, do you feel like Miss America?" Everyone laughs. Danny can't describe the feeling. Melissa is thankful that she can pick up her prescription in peace. Nathan notes that they all seemed "motivated to leave on a good note," and asks Jamie if he thought some people were faking it. Jamie gives a long answer that amounts to, "No." Matt butts in and says that it was important to finish on a positive note, and that they're all friends. Everyone applauds.
Rachel asks whether anyone misses the cameras. They all say no. Nathan specifically asks Melissa, who says, "Why you gotta ask me?" She says she doesn't miss getting caught doing stupid things. Nathan asks David if he would have done things differently to avoid the confrontation at the end. David says he has no regrets. Rachel asks if they think the whole David confrontation seems unfair now. Silence. Silence. Kelley finally answers that she thinks it's "kind of crappy" to have to watch it in front of the studio audience and everyone. Also, she doesn't think it was as bad as it looked.
Nathan asks what they think of their portrayal on camera, and how accurate it was. Matt gives the party line about how it all happened, but it's only eleven hours out of five months. Matt is happy. Nathan directs the question to Jamie, who says that it's "all good," which is interesting given that he didn't watch the show and has complained about his portrayal in the past. Kelley says she thinks that things don't get explained enough. Thank you! There are a lot of awkward pauses in this thing. As we go to commercial, we see Danny greeting Paul the Blur.
On the way back from commercial, we see Kelley talking to and about Peter. Rachel says that was "so romantic." Well of course she thinks so -- she's married to Sean. Kelley says she's still with Peter, and they've talked about marriage. Nathan says that having a relationship on camera is tough, especially when you're an idiotic hick like Nathan, and he wants to know if the cameras accelerate the relationship. Kelley says that the cameras didn't really "elevate or de-elevate" their relationship.
Rachel brings up Danny, who is "such a dreamboat." Geez, Rachel, cool it! Danny says his relationship with Paul is as "close to perfect as it gets." Nathan asks how Paul reacted when he saw the Mardi Gras episode, in which Danny cheated on him. Oh, I'm sure he popped some popcorn and invited the neighbors over. What a stupid question! I mean, Danny just said they are still together, so obviously Paul didn't get pissed off enough to break up, and yet I'm sure he wasn't happy. I know Nathan didn't write the questions, but I'm going to blame him anyway. Danny answers that Paul wasn't happy. Rachel asks David what happened with Deanna, the woman he was dating at the end of the season. David gives a fairly noncommittal answer so that he can still flow all over the South Side of Chicago (which is the baddest part of town. That's probably the last time I'll be able to use that phrase in a recap). Jamie is dating someone, and he was actually dating her throughout the season, although you wouldn't know that if you watched the show. He talks about it in the book though. Said girlfriend lives in Boulder, Colorado, and Nathan's all "Nice!" Like, "Way to go that she lives in Boulder, dude! Boulder rocks! I saw Moe open for Dave Matthews there and it was such a great show! I was so wasted!" Well, that's my interpretation of Nathan's commentary, anyway. Melissa says she is not dating anyone. Rachel asks Jamie whether he will ever find anyone as devoted to him as Melissa is. What a shitty question. Jamie actually gets out of it fairly gracefully by saying that Melissa is "a wonderful, wonderful woman." Rachel asks Melissa if she ever found "that manwich." Seriously, who wrote these questions? Did they even watch the season? No one cares about these things! Melissa says that she lives in "Boystown," where all the gay men live, so they're not really interested in her. Melissa seems to have trouble speaking with the braces.
Rachel asks Matt about his "perfect girl," and Matt says he's found her and that she's in the audience. Nathan runs out to interview Meredith, Matt's girlfriend. She's really pretty. Some people have said she looks like Julie, and I can see the resemblance, but I think she's prettier than Julie, which is kind of a slap in the face. Meredith says that they met in a computer lab, and she actually calls Matt "Cyberpimp." Ew. Oh God, they were meant for each other. Nathan asks something about "an untamed beast" and my ears started bleeding so I can't tell you what Meredith said in response. Nathan asks Julie if this is an awkward situation. Well, it is now! Julie says she met Meredith briefly and she loves her. Meredith mumbles something. Matt gets a boner, probably.
Rachel asks Julie whether there is anyone in her life, and Julie pleads the Fifth. Everyone groans. Rachel brings up that Julie was suspended from BYU. Julie says that she's been doing a lot of lectures at different campuses. Nathan asks whether she subconsciously wanted a way out of BYU. Julie says she didn't use the show as an excuse to get out, and that she wasn't "overly zeal-yus" to leave or stay. "Zeal-yus"? Rachel points out that Julie's brother is a freshman at BYU, and asks whether he gives Julie the lowdown on what people at BYU are saying. Julie says that he does. Rachel presses for some examples, and Julie says that some people like her and some don't, essentially. Wow, that was fascinating. As we go to commercial, we see clips from the "Racism Is Bad" episode.
On the way back from commercial, we see the whole racist tour guide episode. Rachel asks Melissa how she feels when seeing the clip. Melissa replies that she knows her role on the show was to be "racially fixated" but that she gets a lot of mail from young kids who were moved by the show and have become more aware of racial issues because of it. So in the end, it's a good thing. Everyone applauds. Nathan asks if she's heard from the tour guide. Melissa says she heard from an MTV publicist that the tour guide sent an apology. Well, good thing, because I was losing sleep over that one. Nathan asks David why he didn't get upset when Julie used the term "colored." Yeah, why didn't he? David says, "You know what I'm sayin'?" like five times. I'm not sure what else he said. Something about being proud of what you are. Everyone applauds again. Rachel asks David if he's had reaction from the public over the incident. David doesn't know what she's talking about. Rachel is apparently unable to say the word "colored" which would have clarified the whole thing. David finally figures it out and says that people ask him why he didn't get mad, but they don't know the interaction between him and Julie. Julie pipes up and says that David understood that it wasn't the best time to approach her, and it was very mature of David not to get pissed off.
Nathan asks Danny whether he's the poster boy for the gay world. Danny says that he kind of is, and that he feels pressure not to make mistakes or say the wrong thing. Rachel asks if Matt feels the same way as a Catholic. Rachel talks about herself for about five minutes. Girl, you were on the show like six years ago. Get over it. Matt says that they were all representative of something, and that now he works for LifeTeen, and "it's awesome." He said "awesome" about ten times. Nathan asks Danny if he is "the accidental activist," as The Advocate titled him. Danny says that he doesn't want to be an activist because Paul is still in the military and he doesn't want to cause trouble.
Oh, now I see why they had to write all of Rachel's questions for her. She says, "On The Real World, it's just been a hotbed every season...just...gays." Good one. Rachel asks Danny if he feels weird that Paul couldn't show his face. Danny says it sucks, but that he hopes things will change in the future. Rachel asks if it's difficult to keep Paul's identity private. Danny says that they have to pretend they don't know each other in public and it sucks. Aw, that does suck. Stupid military policy.
Rachel asks if "living with all this diversity" has changed the way they deal with people, particularly for Julie and Matt. Matt fields this one. Blah blah blah hold fast to your truths blah blah blah stay open-minded. Rachel asks whether his religious beliefs were compromised, and Matt says that he agrees to disagree. Julie agrees. I'm not going to recap what else she said because it's exactly what Matt just said. Jamie pipes up to say that he wishes the show covered the spiritual development that went on in the house instead of the "smooching and drinking." How does he know what the show covered -- he said he didn't watch it! Liar. Plus, please let me tune in for week after week of Jamie trying out different forms of religion. That would be so fascinating.
Nathan keeps pushing the gay thing, asking Julie whether it took some getting used to because she hadn't been "subjected to it before." He acts like living with a gay person is akin to getting your wisdom teeth out. Someone needs to teach Nathan to ask a question and then stop. It takes him like ten minutes to ask each question, and then he ends with phrases like "situated to that situation." Julie says that it was different, but that she learned a lot about compassion. Matt pipes up again! Shut up, Matt! He says the same thing he's been saying.
A girl in the audience asks whether any of them would do another show like this in the future. Matt says that he wants to be on the boy band show. Melissa says that she would do one with her parents. Hey, I suggested that! I want royalties. Someone from the internet says that Jamie has "profoundly changed." Jamie says that he doesn't feel that he has, and that he hasn't watched the season (liar!), and that he was pushed into a role. While he thinks he did develop, he doesn't think he changed. Kelley thinks he changed, because they got along so well when they spent a weekend together, and Jamie is a good person, so she's sorry she didn't get to know it when she was in the house. A really scary girl in the audience asks whether Julie would go through the whole experience again, knowing what she knows now about BYU and everything. Julie says she would, because it was so much fun. Another girl in the audience asked if their friends and family act different towards them now since the show. Melissa says her mom is a Real World junkie. David says that his father is mad at some of the things he said, woo woo. Everyone laughs at the "woo woo" part. Rachel has an internet question from a girl who wants to marry him even though he's gay. Danny says that he's not interested. Rachel says that people on the internet speculate about his sexuality. Danny says that there are rumors that he's really straight, but that they're not true. Rachel reads a question for Julie and Matt, asking whether being a Christian hindered their relationships. Matt says that it helped. Of course he does. Julie says that she felt a little competition between herself and Matt over who could be more Christian, which is an interesting response. Matt says that you can't help drawing parallels. Rachel asks whether they drew strength from each other, and Julie says that they did. Nathan takes us to commercial, says, "Woo woo," and raises the roof. We see clips of the cast dancing, all of which are on the Real World You Never Saw video.
Another clip from The Real World You Never Saw as we come back from commercial. It's Danny and Kelley naked, as Adam and Eve. Rachel asks whose idea that was. Kelley says that she hoped that Danny would see her naked breasts and be overcome, but that it didn't work. Nathan says that his cast had a lot of moments that didn't make it on the show. Yeah, like the drugs and the gay sex. Oops, did I say that out loud? In a shameless plug for the video, Nathan asks Melissa about her craziest memories. Melissa says that her parents' visit was really funny. Julie says "dookie girl" and tells about when Melissa made the toilet overflow, and it's all on the video which I'll be recapping at a future point, so I'll save it for then. David brings up when he and Matt drove around in Jamie's Prowler. Matt agrees that "Dookie Girl" was a great moment. Jamie says that they went to Angola Prison, which was fun. "Fun"? Danny says that "Melissa's boobs in the morning" was his favorite moment. Rachel says that tensions can be high at a reunion, and asks whether they are truly at peace. Danny says that it'll take a while. Rachel asks what it's been like. Kelley says that your first reaction is to get angry, but then you have to "own it." Matt says "awesome" or "flavor" or something again. I don't know. I'm tuning him out. Rachel asks whether they have any regrets. Kelley says that she doesn't. Julie regrets chasing Matt down in the parking garage. Melissa regrets not killing the rabbit. Matt says that he hated the rabbit too.
Nathan asks what they're up to now. Kelley says that she's doing the college tour and living with Peter. Matt is the national spokesperson for LifeTeen. Julie is living in Huntington Beach and playing with her brother's band. Yikes! Melissa is working on her comedy career in L.A. and looking for a man. Jamie is working on Soulgear.com. David is working out so he can enter competitions and "doing the music thing." Danny is living with Paul "somewhere" and starting an entertainment career. Rachel brings up the Dawson's Creek guest spot.
Nathan asks who from their cast is most likely to succeed. David says he thinks they all will. What a cop-out. Rachel asks who the biggest flirt is. Everyone says that Julie is. Nathan asks who is most likely to appear in a tabloid, and Danny says that he already has. Rachel asks who is best dressed. Melissa raises her own hand, and says that if she didn't want to see Danny in that gray sweater one more time. Some people in the forums thought this might be a shout-out, but I don't think so; everyone noticed the gray sweater thing, not just me! Everyone cheers. Rachel asks for Worst Dressed and Julie claims it. Nathan asks about messiest and Kelley says that they all were. Rachel asks about Cleanest, and they all say Matt. Rachel asks about Most Improved, and Danny says that Julie and David both win it. Rachel asks whether they have any advice for the season. Melissa tells them not to cry on camera. Kelley tells them not to run away from the cameras because she did, and she regrets it. Didn't she say earlier that she had no regrets?
Nathan thanks them and plugs the book. Rachel welcomes them into the Real World Alumni Club. Do they have blazers? As the credits roll, Matt hugs Meredith. Melissa hugs Rachel, as does Kelley. Then it gets really crowded but a lot of women are hugging David. And that's it.