In the history of humanity, have you ever seen a woman get legitimately angry? I bet that would be scary. Luckily, women are just crazy and so you don't have to take their anger seriously. That's just how they are, they go nuts. That's like 95% of every episode of 7th Heaven: that women will eventually calm down, realize they were just being nutty, and apologize. And the women who actually do that, deserve what they get. Which is specifically "to be assholes." Watching the credits, it appears I've lost everyone I liked even a little. Roxanne and Allie are okay, I guess, although they could use a little time apart, and Suddenly Tammy is half of an awesome person, but I liked Tarek more than I didn't, because he was only a douchebag half the time he was onscreen, and a lot of the time he wasn't onscreen. And I miss Charmaine. And Andrea, I think she was a fuckup, but I also think that The Thing That Makes You Awesome Is The Thing That Makes You Suck. Always. Trump's successful because he's screwed up in his head, but you can't discount the success that it's brought him. That's worth something. Carolyn will micromanage your ass and she slaps caterers, and strange children, but she's also a badass and a very smart person who drove herself all the way to the point of enormous success. And I think that the things that made me like Andrea are the things that made Andrea obnoxious on this show, so I maintain that I still like her.
In the AM, Michael is told that Trump is flying in his personal helicopter to Rutgers, where they are to meet him on the practice field. He hangs up and is still sleepy enough to be feeling a little confusion and/or trepidation. As the Weasels get dressed I would like to say that in fact Executive Producer Jay Bienstock is not related to Lee in any way I can find, even though that was for one brief second the best explanation I'd yet seen. So compelling, in fact, that I am not entirely ruling it out. I would also like to say that Charmaine got her hair done last week during a time in which due to production stuff they weren't allowed to engage in task activities. And if you've seen the clip show, Tarek and Andrea didn't take part in the madness because they have class and self-respect. Although they also went on this show, so that's kind of a complicated statement. More secrets as I hear them.
The stupid helicopter comes in and it says TRUMP on it, of course, and you know what? I would like to be very, very rich at some point in my life, just to see what that's like. Basically because I love playing Monopoly, I want to be fucking rich for a while. Not forever, necessarily. And when that time comes, and I buy a fucking helicopter to take me places, I want you to send me a note, via my assistant or manservant or whatever, and I want you to write on it: "Breeding Tells." And that will be my safe word, and I will give all the money to whoever is nearby, and walk out into the world to make my way again. He comes toward them, all proud, and says loftily, "Some of you are going to be traveling that way someday." They laugh nervously, because: God. Well, Lee makes a little note on his little moleskin, and it's so awkward because some of his slacks don't have pockets that big, so he doesn't know where to keep it, but if he asked me I bet I could help make some suggestions about where he could put his notes. They head to the real field, where the marching band and the cheerleading squad practice. Trump cracks, "Let's see what the Scantily-Clad Fetish Objects look like." Um, like hungry strippers, dude. They look like...Scantily-Clad Fetish Objects? What do you even mean? Are you saying that you're so used to just acting like a horny old goat that you don't even notice that stupid shit coming out of your mouth? Is that it? Is it that you're so terribly scared of women that even coming within ten yards of them forces you to objectify them before you can keep walking?