Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT My Lover/Myself
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.29.2010
s stare each other down.She makes her way into the kitchen to find Jenna. She digs to find out whether Jenna's privy to Paul's moonlighting gig. Unsurprisingly, Jenna is aware. In fact, that's how she and Paul met -- at a Jenna Maroney impersonator contest, in which Jenna was not a judge but a participant. Lemon scrunches up into what Jenna calls her "judgmental badger face" and says this is weird even for Jenna. Jenna tells her they won't be speaking until Lemon gets on board. Pete pops out from behind a wall and rubs it in Lemon's judgmental badger face that she's in trouble.
Upstairs, Argus is still awake, but Kenneth is confused. He knows all the peafowl calls by heart (and we get a taste of some), but he's never heard one say "senpai and kōhai." An astonished Jack quickly jumps to the conclusion that Geiss's soul has transplanted itself into Argus. He wonders aloud if such a thing is possible. Kenneth sagely says, "Sir, I think that there's a lot about this world that we don't understand -- like the afterlife... or how bread turns into toast."
Downstairs, Lemon acts surprised as Dot Com reiterates his Feyoncé-loving conundrum to Lemon. He asks her to sort things out. She reluctantly agrees, then receives a sneaky call from Kenneth in which everyone is codenamed "Badger." Not sure where that's going, but I'm sure we'll know soon enough.
Lemon walks out into the hall and sees Jenna. She catches up to her only to find that it's actually 'Gina. Lemon confronts shim about its motives. 'Gina insists, "I am the luckiest shman in the world" and that (s)he "would never tuck my penis again if Jenna asked." You see, while 'Gina gets the pleasure of listening to Jenna's musical voice as she rants at her cleaning lady, (s)he doesn't understand what Jenna gets out of their little romance. Lemon finally sees the light, acknowledging that 'Gina is a perfect companion for Jenna because "she finally gets to love herself." As proof, Jenna creeps up to them and excitedly asks what they're talking about. Her, of course. Lemon gives the happy couple her blessing and starts to leave the two lovebirds alone. Unfortunately, she doesn't get out in time to miss Jenna and 'Gina playing tonsil hockey, and Jenna grabbing 'Gina's boobs. Ladies and gentleman, the world's first I-sexual.
Upstairs, a tousled Jack fortifies himself with scotch before asking Geiss's spirit, via Argus, to give him a sign. The bird hops off its perch toward the liquor cart. Jack takes that as a sign Geiss wants a drink, so he pours the bird a double. As the bird dips its head and clucks obliviously, Jack addresses his senpai. He says Geiss was like a father to him and that he wants to live his life to make him proud. "I just wish you could be here to watch me do it," he sighs. Argus paternally touches his plumage to Jack's knee, and with that Jack may have finally addressed his underlying bereavement.
Back downstairs, Lemon finds Grizz sitting on the stage with his head in his hand. She tells him it doesn't matter who's his best man because "love is weird..." (cut to shots of Jenna and 'Gina in flagrante) "and sometimes gross." She tells Grizz to focus on the love he shares with Feyoncé, to cherish it, and maybe not leave it alone with Dot Com. A few minute later, she's corralled the guys to announce that she'll be serving as Grizz's "woman of honor" and will be speechifying in a dashiki. Did we mention that Grizz is getting married on the same day as Cerie? And a third person that I've forgotten. Recapper, you suck!
Bonus! Jenna serenades a mirror to the tune of, appropriately, "All By Myself." The mirror's reflection is -- you guessed it -- 'Gina. The camera pans up to reveal the shman in all its glory, dressed identically to Jenna. They come together to hog the power notes equally, stopping only for a repulsively wide-mouthed kiss. You guys might have to Hulu this one because I'm not sure words can do it justice. And I'm not sure they should, frankly. Until then, you know the drill...
Inheritance Tact
Jack: I just received a call from Don Geiss's estate lawyer. Apparently I've been named in his will.
Lemon: I know this is a difficult time for you, but word of advice -- if the will says you have to spend the night at a haunted house, you better hope that everybody else there is black guys and sluts.
Jack: I just want something to remember the man by -- his pen or his tie clip... maybe that boyhood sled he held so dear. I believe he called it... "Sleddy." Something that I can then pass on to my protegé.
Lemon: Any chance it's one of those bendy hospital beds?
Jack: Maybe! He did have three.
Lemon: He was such an amazing man!
Death at the Nuptial
Lemon: Another wedding?
Pete: Life is like TV. Testing tells us that people like weddings, births, and episodes where a character dies.
Lemon: Dumb.
Guy in Background: My heart! [Crashes to ground.]
Tracy's Momma Jokes
Tracy: I thought Grizz might want to take this time to announce who's gonna be his best man.
Grizz: Ummm, I haven't decided yet.
Tracy [mockingly]: "Ummm, I haven't decided yet." You sound like my mother talking to the Planned Parenthood lady! Seriously, which one of your rich and famous friends with Hepatitis B are you going to pick?
Grizz: Let's not do this in front of everybody.
Tracy [double mocking]: Let's not do this in front of everybody? You sound like my mother being pulled on-stage at a 2 Live Crew concert! Damn, my mother had problems.
Geiss Cubes
Lemon: What a weird gift.
Jack: Not at all. When Don was first taking me under his wing, he and I would sit on the veranda of his home in Connecticut, talking about business, politics, how to avoid getting paper cuts while making love on a pile of money... and our friend Argus would strut proudly through the garden. We three peacocks felt like we owned the world.
Dream Bally
Lemon: Paul is getting weirder. We have got to step it up.
Pete: You know what we should do? We should follow him! I don't care how long it takes.
Lemon: What's going on? Your kids have a play tonight?
Pete [dejectedly]: Oklahoma. They couldn't find cowboy hats big enough for my kids' heads, so they're just wearing turbans.
Lemon: It's on. When Paul leaves, we follow him CIA-style. And afterwards I go to the gym. [Everyone within earshot laughs heartily.] Words are the first step on the road to deeds!
Smack Talk
Lemon: Hey, dummy! What are you doing to Grizz?
Tracy: Whoa, you watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand. [He reveals the back of his, which has a sign on it that reads, "Please be nice to me."]
Lemon: You gotta grow up about this best man thing.
Tracy: Liz Lemon, I don't even wanna be best man. Why would I? Show up on time? Not lose the ring? Keep my shirt on through dinner? Pshhhhhh.
Experimentation for All, I Say!
Lemon: Jack, I just found out that Jenna is dating a guy who does a drag show -- as her.
Jack: Lemon, what is with this food layout? Kenneth says he needs some sumac bark and shrub yellow root to make a poultice for Argus.
Lemon: How is your thing weirder than mine?
Jack: I am not letting that bird die. For God's sake, if we can put an ear on a mouse's back, we can certainly make a peacock immortal.
Jenna-tation Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
Lemon: Hey, Jenna, so nice to meet Paul. Interesting guy. How much do you know about him?
Jenna: Well, I lost a toe ring in him, so I'd say a lot.
Lemon: No, I mean what he does at night. And what he wears there. And who he's being?