By Lady Lola
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Lemon hopes to run on the treadmill to fit into her bridesmaid dress for Cerie's wedding. Instead, she must run around like a chicken with her head cut off when Tracy announces Grizz's engagement, and it becomes clear that the role of best man is in contention. Tracy childishly insists Grizz choose him, even though Grizz wants Dot Com for it. Tracy finally spills to Lemon that he's taking a bullet for Dot Com, who is in love with Grizz's fiancée. (And wouldn't you guess her name's Feyoncé?) Lemon thinks it's all sorted until Grizz makes her read Tracy and Dot Com a letter expressing his unwavering desire to have Dot Com take on the duties. Seeing Dot Com's anguish, Lemon ultimately gives Grizz a much-needed, Jenna-inspired pep talk about the wonder and weirdness of love (see below). Dot Com is off the hook, but somehow Lemon manages to rope herself into being the "woman of honor" on the same day as she is part of Cerie's wedding party.
Jack has his own bird to deal with -- a peacock named Argus that Don Geiss bequeathed to him in his will. Argus, you see, was there during all of Geiss and Jack's bonding moments on Geiss's veranda. He is the last piece of his mentor that Jack has left. Therefore Jack is damned if the bird will fall ill. He commissions Kenneth to drop all his other duties and tend to the bird. Kenneth swears he hears Argus cluck out the words senpai and kōhai, i.e. Geiss and Jack's Japanese nicknames that translate to "master" and "pupil." Jack deduces that Geiss has implanted his spirit in the bird. They two old friends share a couple glasses of scotch, remember the good times, and Jack finally says a proper goodbye to his role model.
Jenna, meanwhile, finds herself one odd bird of a boyfriend named Paul (Will Forte). Hoping to avoid the dramatics of the past, Lemon and Pete decide to follow Paul to a dive bar and meet his alter ego, 'Gina (sounds like "try-nuh") Baloney. And in case you've never met Jenna, clearly she knows about Paul's nighttime escapades. In fact, she met him at a Jenna Maroney impersonator contest ("...in which I placed fourth," she brags). Yes, my friends, Jenna has succeeded in the heretofore impossible. Bitch is dating herself. It was only a matter of time, I guess. Lemon thinks this development is weird, even for Jenna, and questions 'Gina's motives. She confronts shim, finds that 'Gina is pure of heart, and gives her blessing -- just in time for some Jenna-on-'Gina make out action and a truly disturbing duet of "All By Myself."
Want more? The full recap starts right below!30 Rock. Lemon moans to Jack that she just got her bridesmaid dress for Cerie's wedding. Apparently Cerie has instituted a built-in weight limit by ordering the dresses in Vietnamese size 2. Lemon vows to beat the dress at its own game and has joined a support group -- or, as Jack calls it, "a suicide cult." Speaking of death, Jack says he got a call from Don Geiss's estate lawyer because Jack's in Geiss's will. Jack is excited at the prospect of having a piece of Geiss's legacy. Lemon is, too, but mainly for the "only on TV" home hospital equipment. Credits.
Studio. Tracy announces Grizz's impending nuptials. Assuming it'll be him, Tracy urges Grizz to announce whom he's chosen as his best man. Grizz says he hasn't chosen yet. Tracy does not take this well and walks off sulking.
Lemon moves on to fret about telling Jenna they can't run a Kardashian-themed skit she's pitched (apparently Jack is BFF with Lamar Odom). When Lemon breaks the news to Jenna, the diva herself is surprisingly cool about it. Then she asks how Pete's son with the broken arm is doing. Lemon immediately knows something is amiss and asks, "Are you soaking your tampons in vodka again?" Jenna spills that she met a guy who's made her really happy. Pete foolishly thinks Jenna's new romance might lighten the load for them a bit, but Lemon knows better than that. She reminds him of Jenna's crazy relationships (and crazier boyfriends, including but not limited to a sniper). She says they've got to put the breaks on this courtship or, like all the others, it'll end up biting them in the ass. Or, in Pete's case, the stomach.
Geiss's will reading. Everyone's in attendance: Cathy, Mrs. Geiss, the mistress, Jack, the secret Canadian family, the secret attic family, et al. Cathy inherits an heirloom pocket watch that she has already destroyed by plunking it in her mouth. And, the moment we've all been waiting for: Jack inherits Geiss's beloved pet peacock Argus. And boy is he a beaut. Jack nearly wells up with the sentiment of it all.
30 Rock. Grizz interrupts as Lemon tries to pour herself into the bridesmaid dress. He says he hopes his engagement isn't too awkward given their "sexual past," then asks Lemon to break the news to Tracy that Grizz has tapped Dot Com to be his best man. Grizz appreciates how in sync they are, saying "We really were the Sam and Diane of this place!"