M. Giant
B-
344 users
A-
Before we get started, I just have to clear something up. In the first recap of the season, I mentioned that Kiefer was rocking a "greasy brown mullet" in the DVD prequel, and never said anything different when he turned up in the season premiere. So at this time, I'd just like to assure our readers who aren't actually seeing the show that Kiefer's hair this season is perfectly presentable. It's so short all over that it almost looks brown, and occasionally you can catch a glimpse of where his bald spot's going to be before too long. I realize this isn't all that vital a piece of information, but it's just that, if you're reading this someplace where the season hasn't begun yet, I didn't want you thinking that Kiefer was still running around looking like the dissolute uncle of his own character in The Lost Boys. Now, on with the show.
Yellow Tie and the Yellowtones have been busy during the previouslies. They're loading the Thermoses of Death -- which have the biohazard symbol stamped on the side as well as on the top -- into much smaller crates to a panel truck parked inside the hangar. It's a lot like the truck Beresch blew up a couple of hours ago, but in addition to not being blown up yet, this one's blue and it's got a catering decal stuck t-- wait, two of the guys are peeling it off to reveal a S.W.A.T team stencil on the side. Sneaky terrorists. That should be illegal. Yellow Tie and Leather Jacket load the crates and themselves into the back of the truck, while the other two guys don S.W.A.T. jackets and caps and hop in the front. Impersonating law enforcement should also be illegal, I think. And stealing biochemical agents should definitely be illegal. Or maybe that's just me that thinks that. In any case, they all drive out into daylight.
Kiefer's riding in the back of a CTUmobile with two agents in the front. The female agent in the shotgun seat apologizes for having to bring Kiefer in, and marvels at his ability to stay invisible for a year and a half. Kiefer says he wasn't invisible enough. I blame the mullet. The chick agent answers her ringing cell phone; it's Curtis, for Kiefer. He asks Kiefer for the most likely exit that Yellow Tie would have used during the distraction of the firefight at the end of the last episode, and Kiefer tells him. Curtis relays that info to the AV guy who's hooked in to the airport terminal's surveillance cameras, and has him pull up the footage from the relevant place and time.
At an even more relevant place and time, the fake S.W.A.T. van carrying Yellow Tie, the Yellowtones, and a bunch nerve gas pulls up to the airport security gate, stops at the checkpoint, and easily fools the unsuspecting guards into letting them pass. In the back of the van, Yellow Tie tells his cell phone, "We're away."
Smiling for some reason, Evelyn comes back into the First Lady's suite to find FLOTUS splayed out on the bed, dead to the world and looking as if she'd been dropped there from a great height. Evelyn, alarmed, tries unsuccessfully to rouse her boss, then calls for help. "Get a doctor now," she tells the Secret Service agent who comes running. Except she kind of swallows the "now," making the line sound like she was telling the Secret Service agent to do something else a minute ago. Combine that with the smile, and I may be formulating a theory as to why she hasn't quit already.
Curtis and his AV guy have managed to locate some ten-minute-old video footage of Yellow Tie, skulking among the airport's hangars. They track Yellow Tie's movements, right up until he disappears into Hangar BB. Curtis asks if that hangar's been searched yet, and the AV guy says it hasn't, since it's "outside the secured perimeter." Wait, outside the perimeter? Then how did Yellow Tie get past -- oh, never mind. Curtis quickly rounds up a posse of armored CTU agents, and they all hop onto the running boards of a nearby CTUmobile which peels out for Hangar BB. On his way, Curtis calls up Edgar for some technobabble to kill the thirty seconds it takes to cover the distance to the hangar. At 11:06:02, Curtis and his men dismount the CTUmobile outside the building, and quickly enter, weapons drawn. Of course, once inside, they learn what we already know: the bad guys left five minutes ago, and now there's nothing left but a giant hole in the floor that contains the world's largest Igloo cooler, which in turn contains nothing but twenty empty slots for Thermoses of Death. The bad guys didn't even pull up their ladder or turn their work lights off. Man, the only thing worse than a terrorist is a wasteful terrorist. Curtis tells his men to fan out and look around, but it's Curtis who finds the big lead: a dead rat. Also, another dead rat. Curtis prods the nearest deceased rodent with a loose fragment of something, and determines that, yes, that is definitely an ex-rat. He gets on his comm unit and calls for a forensics team. "Tell them they'll need a full bio pack with spectrum analyzers," he adds. Someone's going down! Aw, I had no idea Curtis was such an animal lover.
At a vacant lot somewhere (presumably) nearby, Yellow Tie (no longer wearing his yellow tie, but not yet endowed with an actual name) and his men meet up with a driver who's waiting to a parked semi. There's talk of "transport" and "customs" and a "port," and it's all very mysterious while we try to figure out what they could possibly be up to. And then Yellow Tie snarls, "The Russians will understand the consequences of occupying our homeland when we turn Moscow into a graveyard." Oh, give it all away, why don't you?