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Now that Kiefer's in the hands of the terrorists, they force him to give CTU a new attack profile that'll lead Curtis and his men into an ambush. Logan is having second thoughts about signing the treaty under the circumstances, as is the Russian president. In the middle of planning the rescue operation, Buchanan welcomes his new boss, Lynn McGill (Sean Astin). If by "welcomes" you mean "barely endures." McGill's micromanaging appears likely to queer the whole operation, but his tight-assedness ends up saving the day. The hostages are rescued, the terrorists are killed, Logan's treaty is signed as planned, and Kiefer and Derek bond like motherfuckers. Unfortunately, McGill still wants to bring Kiefer into custody, even though everyone else has pretty much come on board with Kiefer's assertion that he's being framed.
With all of the hostage-takers dead, the TerrorTorch is passed to a guy who was pretending to be a hostage, but is really working with the bad guys. We see the fake hostage entering some underground vault, where he and some other guys crack open a Sam's Club-sized stock of sealed canisters with biohazard labels on them. You know that's not good. Also not good? Walt chloroforms the First Lady and steals back the FLOTUS/Palmer transcript before she can tell anyone what she knows. I'm telling you right now, I'm only willing to put up with that story line for as long as Jean Smart continues to entertain me. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Well, folks, this recap represents a milestone. It's the one-hundredth episode of 24, which means that there are officially enough episodes for the show to go into syndication. Soon, it'll be all over the double-digit cable channels. Even more than it already has been, I mean. It's a little embarrassing for me, because I'm on record as having predicted that the novelty would wear off early in the second season, just like it did with Murder One. So the lesson here is that all of my predictions are wrong. That said, I predict that this season is going to suck. Hey, it's worth a try.
On to the episode. After the rescue operation had to be aborted last hour, Buchanan is now responding by taking decisive action. Specifically, he's called a meeting of every speaking role in CTU, as well as, remotely, Curtis. Cringe, terrorists! You cannot defeat Buchanan's meeting-fu! Our guys still can't get back in touch with Kiefer after their transmission was abruptly cut off. Audrey wonders if Kiefer went dark on purpose, but Curtis doesn't think so, since their call ended mid-sentence. That doesn't necessarily mean anything; it's how I got away with ditching annoying people when I worked at a call center. Buchanan says they're going to have to proceed without Kiefer. Chloe points out that writing Kiefer out of the plan reduces the likelihood of success to less than twenty percent. Buchanan basically says that if they don't try at all, the likelihood of success is zero percent. Which would be lower. Even Chloe can't argue with that math.
At the airport, Kiefer is divested of his cell phone, which a minion hands over to Beresch. Beresch asks Kiefer what CTU's plan is. When Kiefer hesitates, Beresch ominously reminds him that he knows Kiefer cares about Derek, which is why Kiefer surrendered in the first place (the question of why Kiefer cares about Derek remains an open one). Kiefer folds, saying that the plan is for CTU to storm the north entrance of the terminal on his command. Beresch is so grateful for Kiefer's help that he doesn't kill Derek. I wonder if he knows that Kiefer is the one who blew up one of his guys last hour. I mean, we know that Walt told The Man, but we don't know if The Man told Beresch. In any case, since Derek's off the table, Beresch calls for another hostage to grease. Kiefer urgently tells Beresch that this isn't going to work, since the U.S. doesn't negotiate with terrorists, but Beresch figures that a wuss like President Logan will give up on his plan to sign the anti-terrorism treaty after another hostage-killing or two on live TV. Meanwhile, a minion is hauling another hostage to his feet, a guy in a dark suit and a yellow tie. "Not him," Beresch calls. Hmm. Maybe Beresch has his eye on that sunny cravat for himself and doesn't want to get brain matter on it. A younger man in an old army jacket is picked out instead. Kiefer urges Beresch to hold off a while longer, but he is ignored as Army Jacket Guy is dragged across the concourse and forced to his knees in front of the terrorists' video camera.
At Not Camp David, Logan is wondering why CTU hasn't made its move yet. Novick says that since CTU lost contact with Kiefer, they have to come up with a new assault plan. Before Logan can react to that, they get word that Beresch is back on the air, so they turn on the tube. On the screen, Beresch says from behind his ski mask that they haven't heard from the U.S. government in regard to his demand to repudiate the anti-terrorism treaty. "This is the cost of that silence," he intones, and shoots Army Jacket Guy in the melon. Derek is now a big, wobbling pile of survivor guilt. Before ending the transmission, Beresch says, "If you sign this corrupt document, understand that you will also be staining it with the blood of the remaining hostages." For a terrorist thug, he's not without rhetorical flair.
The situation is clearly starting to get to Logan. He's wavering in his resolve to sign the treaty, and starts talking to Novick like he's his therapist. Walt cuts in and says that in signing the treaty, Logan is doing the only thing he can do under the circumstances. I really can't figure out what Walt's agenda is here; if he's really working with the terrorists, one would think he would encourage Logan to back down. Maybe he's trying to prolong the standoff for reasons we don't yet know, but which will almost certainly turn out to be stupid. Novick stares intently at Logan, but remains silent. I assume that means he agrees with what Walt's saying. I'm also assuming that he would disagree with Walt's decision to feed vital information to the terrorists, but this show has surprised me before.
At 10:06:42, the First Lady sits with Evelyn, watching TV and holding the transcript of her call with Palmer. We can't read anything on it, but I think it's safe to conclude that it doesn't match the tape Logan played for FLOTUS earlier. Evelyn, who is clearly coming around to FLOTUS's point of view on this, advises her to tell Logan right away that someone has tampered with the phone recordings. FLOTUS says this isn't the right time, what with everything else going on. "Besides," she adds dryly, "he thinks I'm unstable." And then she barks like a dog and tries to wear Evelyn as a hat. Not really. But she does tuck the folded-up transcript into her blouse. That garment's certainly seeing a lot of traffic this morning. Although she does manage to keep her boob put away this time.
As Curtis does his walk of shame back to the CTU command post outside the terminal building, Diane waylays him and starts peppering him with annoying, whiny questions. Curtis refrains from peppering her in return with small-arms fire. Instead he cuts off the conversation and climbs back into the CTU van to work on his new attack plan. I hope it involves using Diane as a shield.
Inside the terminal, Beresch and a minion are watching the news report of their latest execution on a handheld video monitor. Derek and Kiefer are still on their knees, to each other but a distance away from the rest of the hostages. This must have been an uncomfortable shoot for them, seeing as how they're in this position for most of the hour. Derek tries to talk to Kiefer, but Kiefer tells the kid to keep quiet for now. Meanwhile, a minion has returned to Beresch carrying a laminated sheet with a floor plan of the terminal. Seems like that's something they would have had, or at least been familiar with, already. I know that if I'm going to take over a public building at gunpoint, I prefer to have some grasp of the layout before I go in. To be fair, Beresch only has to give the diagram a cursory glance before he walks back to Kiefer and tells him to tell CTU to storm the emergency door south of Gate 12. Kiefer says CTU won't do that without an explanation. "That's your concern, Mr. Bauer," Beresch says, raising his gun to point it at Derek's head. Kiefer looks defeated.
Hobbit. Goonie. Notre Dame football player wannabe. And now Sean Astin is about to extend his range even further. At CTU, Chloe is furiously technobabbling at both Spencer and Edgar, when Astin walks in and recognizes her. He introduces himself as Lynn McGill from District, and says he met her at a "memory management lecture." Chloe, amusingly, doesn't remember. McGill asks for Buchanan, and Chloe directs him to the Situation Room. Once McGill's gone, Spencer comes up behind her and says, "You don't know who Lynn McGill is, do you?" Chloe neither knows nor cares, and tells Spencer to get back to work. See what I mean about Astin extending his range? Not only is he about to show his chops at playing a 24-verse bureaucrat, but he's playing one with a name that sounds like it belongs to a whore on Deadwood.
It's 10:09:27 as McGill enters the Situation Room, where Buchanan is just finishing up a meeting with a couple of randoms. As the others leave, McGill opens the door for them and gives them a quiet, awkward "Hi." Heh. Once the two bosses are alone, McGill addresses Buchanan as "Mr. Buchanan," but as Buchanan shakes McGill's hand he says pleasantly, "Lynn, please. Call me Bill." McGill says he prefers a "more formal mode of address" while in the office. Buchanan whatevers politely, and reminds McGill that they're kind of busy right now. McGill confirms a bunch of stuff that we and he already know, although it's news to him that contact with Kiefer has been lost. "That's interesting," he says inscrutably. Buchanan says that he's not clear on the reason for McGill's presence. McGill explains that "District was getting heat from the White House" regarding Kiefer's involvement in the operation, and sent McGill to make sure things run smoothly at CTU. As we'll soon learn, when McGill says "smoothly," he really means "slowly." I hope he gets a deeply rude welcome to real-time TV. Buchanan offers McGill a workstation, but McGill has a better idea: he wants to take over Buchanan's office for the day. "I just want to make sure you're okay working from another station," he says. Buchanan swallows his considerable irritation and grits out, "Fine." McGill asks Buchanan to address him as "Mr. McGill" in front of the staff, just to reinforce the chain of command. And possibly also because he's embarrassed about being named Lynn. "You know, Lynn, I'd rather not," Buchanan says, kind of awesomely. McGill says it was just a suggestion, but taking over Buchanan's office isn't. Astin's doing such a great job here that I already want to beat him down. As pushy as he is, he's also got this incredibly bland, inoffensive, college-boy manner that you just know is turning Buchanan inside out.
Just then, the speakerphone on the conference table pipes up with word that Kiefer's on the line. After confirming that Curtis is conferenced in on the call, Buchanan jumps into the discussion. While a minion holds Kiefer's phone to his prisoner's ear, Kiefer makes the excuse that he had to hang up when one of the bad guys got too close. Yeah, I'd say. You know, it's just too bad for CTU that this airport terminal doesn't have any windows or anything. As Beresch eavesdrops on an earpiece, Kiefer lies to Buchanan and Curtis that the hostages have been moved into the kill zone, and that Curtis should lead his men in at the spot Beresch specified. Curtis asks if Kiefer is near that location, and Kiefer answers in the affirmative. "I am in a flank two position," he elaborates. "Repeat. I am in a flank. Two. Position." I knew Kiefer's voice could do amazing things, but I've never heard it wink so broadly before. Neither Beresch nor any of his minions notice anything unusual about Kiefer's remark, and if Buchanan and Curtis do, they don't give it away. But then, they wouldn't. Curtis says his men will be ready in twenty minutes. Buchanan says they have thirty before the treaty is signed. Curtis promises to hurry, and to call Kiefer when his men are ready. The call ends, and Beresch is satisfied with how it went. Because he's stupid. Really, he should have been listening for anything that sounded like a signal (like I was), and Kiefer hit it so hard that I don't know how Beresch could have possibly missed it. But he did, so let's move on. Beresch tells two of his men to stay with the hostages, and leads the rest to the entry point he just made Kiefer specify to CTU. Kiefer watches them go, his gaze steely. Because if he'd really been forced to betray his friends, he wouldn't be looking at all broken or defeated right now. Bonehead. It's 10:12:34.
10:17:02. Kiefer tells Derek, "You're doing great," because as the show's star and co-executive producer, he's the only one who's allowed to talk during the act-in splitscreens. In other, less important windows, Logan looks worried and McGill talks on the phone. Buchanan calls Curtis on his cell and again asks his time frame for the assault. Curtis says it's fifteen minutes. Or, if you're keeping better track than Buchanan is, five minutes fewer than the last time Buchanan asked him, which was five minutes ago. Real-time fever: catch it! This time, Buchanan asks why it's going to take so long, and Curtis makes some excuses about the stuff they have to change in order to use Kiefer's new entry point. Buchanan wonders if it's worth changing the whole plan based on Kiefer's information, but Curtis insists that Kiefer wouldn't have advised the change if it weren't worth it. "I trust him," Curtis says. Oh, you dummies. I will cut them more slack than I did Beresch, though, because they didn't know for sure that Kiefer had been captured, so they wouldn't necessarily be looking for a signal to indicate as much. But still. Anyway, Buchanan assents, and leans on Curtis to make sure it happens on time. After he finishes up the call, a flunky comes up to tell Buchanan, "Mr. McGill wants to see you in his office." Well, Mr. McGill certainly has made himself at home, now, hasn't he? Buchanan tries to blow off the summons, but the flunky says McGill is insisting on seeing him right now. Buchanan climbs the steps to his ex-office.
Once inside, Buchanan impatiently asks what's so important that he has to leave off yelling at people to hurry up. "Sit down, Mr. Buchanan," McGill says mildly, and Buchanan snaps at him to knock it off. "Sit down, Bill," McGill says in the exact same tone. Buchanan sits. McGill stands up. Learned that in manager school, did we, McGill? McGill says he's informed the White House that the rescue operation is back on track, but he wants to review the plan in full before CTU goes into the terminal. And then Buchanan's on his feet again, bitching about McGill's "micromanaging." "If you want to do my job, just let me know. I'll go home," Buchanan snaps. McGill politely asks Buchanan not to be defensive. Buchanan grudgingly agrees to have Chloe send the plan to McGill's laptop, and starts to leave. McGill stops him: "Bill? Fighting me isn't going to increase our chances of saving those people's lives." Buchanan manages not to say, "Right back atcha, Halfling," but it looks like a near thing. Alone, McGill gives a little sigh of relief, just to let us know he's not a robot. At least, not all the time.
It's 10:19:02 as Buchanan gets downstairs and tells Chloe to send the plan to McGill. Chloe once again demonstrates her superhuman ability to always cut straight to the wrong thing to say when she responds, "Does that mean he's running point instead of you?" Buchanan mumbles that it doesn't mean anything, and starts to slump off. Audrey catches up to him to tell him that Curtis's time frame is now ten minutes. So he's already shaved off a few. Oddly, Buchanan does not start dancing for joy. Did you know that the actor who plays Buchanan is also a yoga teacher? The only thing that surprises me more than learning that is how easy I find it to picture.
Beresch is still watching the news on his portable TV. There's no indication that Logan's planning on ditching the treaty, but Beresch thinks that's only because the Americans think the rescue will succeed. "Once we kill their men, they'll realize their options have run out," he smirks to a sidekick. He and his minions stride off out of Kiefer and Derek's earshot. Now that the two star hostages are relatively alone, Derek remarks sadly, "The only chance these people had of being rescued is gone because of me." Kiefer says it isn't Derek's fault. Derek insists, "I'm the reason you went along with them. If I wasn't here..." Spot-on analysis, Derek. You may live, for now. But Kiefer assures him, "This is not over." Derek turns to stare wonderingly at Kiefer, his jaw in a flank two position.
Logan is watching the news alone in his Situation Room when Novick comes in to inform him that the rescue op is back on track. Even so, the prez is starting to get defeatist about their chances for success. Novick tries to be encouraging, but, being Novick, he doesn't really feel like spending a lot of time on it. He says it's time for Logan and the Russian president to walk out to the stage together for the treaty-signing. Logan goes outside, where President Suvarov is waiting to walk out with him. Suvarov looks almost as worried as Logan does, which only emphasizes the Russian president's resemblance to a Gahan Wilson cartoon. He says to Logan in his Boris Badenov accent, "Like you, I have staked much of my political future on the success of this treaty. If this rescue attempt fails, it will not only be rendered meaningless; it will become a mockery. And so will we." Way to talk him out of his tree, there, Yuri.
It's 10:22:02 as Walt, who has nothing better to do than spend all his time covering his own ass, knocks on the door to FLOTUS's suite and tells Evelyn that he's there to escort FLOTUS to the signing. So I guess he got rid of Aaron or something. Before FLOTUS comes out, though, Walt wants to grill Evelyn about FLOTUS's trip to the Archive Room during the episode. Evelyn starts to plead ignorance of the whole matter, but Walt goes all bad-cop on her and says that if FLOTUS got a hold of anything classified, Evelyn will not only be fired, but prosecuted as well for aiding and abetting a security breach. I'm thinking Evelyn is probably already spending a lot of her downtime on Monster.com as it is. In any case, she tells Walt that FLOTUS claims to have taken a transcript of a phone call between herself and Palmer, and that it's hidden in FLOTUS's blouse. Walt nods grimly, and FLOTUS comes out into the hallway to say she's ready. She and Walt leave Evelyn standing there in the hall, wondering if she should quit as soon as FLOTUS gets back, or before then.
It's 10:23:37 as Logan's press secretary outlines the upcoming ceremony for the assembled press corps. I hope the reporters don't mind spoilers. While waiting near the stage, Logan quietly spills a little more stress on Novick about the timing of the signing and the rescue attempt. Novick confidently assures him that it's all synchronized. Logan hopes so. He whines, "Today was supposed to be the crowning achievement of my presidency. Instead, everyone's waiting to hear what's going to happen at the airport." FLOTUS arrives at Logan's side, and they actually flirt kind of sweetly before the press secretary introduces the two presidents. The heads of state take the stage, Logan doing one of those annoying president-waves as he walks that's almost like a sideways Nazi salute. Logan? Quit that.
At CTU, Chloe tells Buchanan that the treaty signing is ninety seconds ahead of schedule, and she suggests he call Curtis to move up the timetable on the assault. Buchanan wisely realizes that interrupting Curtis isn't going to speed things up any, and snaps that their only hope is to stall the signing. After he stomps off, Spencer comes up and asks what's eating the boss. Chloe: "Nothing. I think he just realizes we're not going to be able to save the hostages." So apparently he's off to meditate. It's 10:25:22.
Commercials. Kiefer's voice is certainly excited about Intel chips going into Macs, isn't it?
It's 10:29:45. Curtis is planting plastic explosives on the wall outside the entry point Kiefer gave him earlier, Kiefer and Derek wait for something to happen, and so does Buchanan. At the stage set up at Not Camp David, Logan is launching into a fiery, angry, and possibly extemporaneous speech about how we won't be cowed by terrorists, including the ones controlling an airport terminal "just a few miles away." While the audience applauds (because it's not their asses being held hostage in an airport), Novick whips out his cell and calls Buchanan to ask what the holdup is. Buchanan says they're doing their best, and he in turn asks whether Novick can stall the treaty signing at all. Nice of him to stand around for six precious minutes waiting for Novick to call him and bring up the subject. But it's too late anyway, as Novick says: "Bill, the entire world is watching this on live television. The presidents of the United States and Russia are on stage now. This process has been set in motion!" A simple "no" would have sufficed. Maybe Novick should take the stage for a while and put on a little show where he answers simple questions with thirty times as many words as are necessary. Buchanan says he'll call Novick right back, but Novick insists that Buchanan stay on the phone and tell him the moment the rescue begins. The audience applauds again, and we hear a bit more of Logan rocking the podium. It's actually kind of an impressive performance. Or maybe I've just forgotten what it's like to watch a President who can deliver an impassioned speech without smirking.
In the video sanctum, The Man is on his phone, complaining to Beresch that it looks like they're going through with the signing. "Are you sure this is going to work?" he frets. From inside the airport, Beresch confidently assures The Man that it will. "The only reason the President is so confident is that he thinks his rescue attempt will save the day," Beresch boasts. In case you're just tuning in, Beresch would like you to know that the rescue attempt will fail, the President will be notified of that fact immediately, and there will thus be no treaty-signing. The Man wants Beresch to be sure he's ready to carry out his threat if he's wrong. Beresch brags about his men's commitment to the cause, and abruptly ends the call. Big talk for the only terrorist in the room who hasn't accessorized with dynamite.
Buchanan is in the CTU Situation Room with Audrey, ordering up more ambulances. I guess Novick let him off the line after all. Or Buchanan just put his cell phone down somewhere while he goes about his business. I would certainly never do that. Not now that I have a toddler I can give the phone to. McGill comes in to the Sit Room, having noticed that the assault plan has been "radically changed." Audrey reminds him that the new plan is based on new info from Kiefer. "Which he phoned in after being dark for nearly twenty minutes," McGill reminds them. Audrey isn't sure what he's getting at. As Buchanan irritably gets off his phone call, McGill says he's still not satisfied with everything as it is, and he wants to review all the transcripts of CTU's communications with Kiefer since the start of the hostage crisis. Hey, read the recaps, punk. I'm not doing this for my health. Buchanan says he'll send them right along, and McGill hurries back to his commandeered office as quickly as the Giant Sequoia up his ass will allow. As the Sit Room door swings shut, Chloe catches it and pokes her head in to say Curtis is calling from the terminal.
Curtis, still wiring his own damn explosives, reports that they're almost ready to move. He adds that they're jamming the detonation frequency so that Beresch can't blow up his men remotely. Good thinking, that. I'm sure Beresch's men will appreciate it.
McGill's sitting at his ninety-five computer screens, looking through the transcripts he requested. He seems to run into some kind of obstacle, so he calls up Chloe and starts politely and wordily making a request of her. She doesn't have any more time for other people's manners than she does for her own, and cuts him off to ask what he needs. He asks her to "unlock volume five," and he's about to explain why. But Chloe just unlocks it for him and hangs up. "This Lynn McGill person's really slowing things down," Chloe complains to Spencer. Spencer says that's McGill's style. Apropos of I'm not sure what, he adds that McGill generally loses twenty percent of his staff whenever he takes control of a new office. Chloe is surprised to hear that that many people quit. Spencer corrects her, "Most of them are fired." Only twenty percent? Considering that most CTU bosses get more than that killed on any given day, it sounds like McGill will be a stabilizing force by comparison. ["It's not like anyone stays 'fired' in that shop for more than three hours anyway. Downsize away, Mikey." -- Sars]
At Not Camp David, Suvarov is making his own speech, which, since his speechwriters are on the other side of the world, suffers a bit by comparison to Logan's. Logan just looks worried. Don't worry, Logan, it's not like you have to give a rebuttal.
It's 10:34:25 as Kiefer watches one of the minions run in from the back and whisper to Beresch. He can't hear the conversation, but we can -- it appears that the body of Chevensky was found, as was a key card that Chevensky had apparently stashed somewhere for the terrorists. The minion hands said card over to Beresch. Beresch stalks the floor, giving orders to his men. "Assume CTU is in body armor, so go for the head shot." It's about time somebody figured that out on this show. He wades through the huddle of hostages, ostensibly to intimidate them some more. But, soft -- it's really so he can slip that key card to that guy in the yellow tie, the one he didn't want to kill earlier. Hmmmm. The transaction doesn't go unnoticed by Kiefer, or by the musical score. Kiefer suddenly realizes that Yellow Tie is the only hostage who doesn't look scared. Besides Kiefer, that is. Which, come on, Kiefer, start looking scared. It won't kill you. I don't think. It's 10:35:16.
10:39:42. The ceremony at Not Camp David continues, Curtis's men continue to get organized, and McGill continues to search his computer screen for another excuse to fuck shit up. At the airport, Kiefer's phone is ringing in a terrorist's hand. Beresch gets set up to listen in while his minion answers the phone and presses it to Kiefer's ear. Curtis confirms to Kiefer that he's ready, and Kiefer "reminds" him that he's in a "FLANK TWO POSITION." Again, Beresch doesn't react, and Curtis doesn't sound like he's picking up what Kiefer's putting down. Probably because anvils are heavy. As a result, Kiefer for the first time looks like he's having doubts that he's made himself clear, and he hesitates. But at this point he doesn't have much choice but to tell Curtis to go ahead. Curtis begins the sixty-second countdown on the detonator wired to the wall charges. "Jack, we'll see you inside," he says, and hangs up. It's 10:43:34. "Everyone, sixty seconds!" Beresch calls to his men. They all run down the hallway to get into position, waiting to blow away Curtis's team when they come through.
As the digital timer on Curtis's wall-bomb counts down, McGill scampers down from his stolen office and into the CTU Situation Room. "Stop the assault!" McGill orders. Buchanan orders Curtis put on the phone as McGill opens his laptop to show Buchanan a transcript of Kiefer's calls, pointing out the phrase "flank two position." See? SEE? Thank God for the new guy, hey? McGill says that's an old "duress code" from back when Kiefer was still active at CTU. But now the code is inactive, which is why Buchanan and Curtis didn't pick up on it before. Their profound deafness may have also been a factor. Chloe is looking at the Hobbit with newfound respect as Buchanan tells her to pull up the old duress codes to confirm McGill's assertion. While she's doing that, McGill calmly but quickly explains that Kiefer's been nabbed and is being forced to send bad info. "If Curtis Manning's teams go in now, they'll be ambushed," he sums up. "He's right!" Chloe wails in horror. With only four seconds left (even though it's been seventy-five seconds since Curtis started the sixty-second countdown), Buchanan orders Curtis to abort the countdown. Curtis stops the clock with only two seconds to spare and tells all his men to stand down. He asks Buchanan what's wrong. Buchanan explains about the duress code they missed, and tells Curtis to return to the original assault plan and not contact Kiefer. "If Jack contacts you, buy time," he adds. McGill doubtfully asks, "You're going to outflank the terrorists?" Buchanan's answer speaks volumes: on the one hand, he's so, so tired of McGill already, and he's embarrassed that McGill just saved everyone's ass for him, but he still hasn't had enough time to completely change his attitude toward the guy, and if McGill starts in again he's going to fucking lose it. This is all communicated by Buchanan's simple "Yes." "That should work," McGill nods. Heh.
Curtis gives the order to his men to redeploy. Outside, at the command post, Diane hears one of Curtis's men responding over his radio, and asks him what's going on. The CTU guy shuts her right down. He's my favorite.
It's 10:42:27 as Beresch stands with his men, compulsively checking his watch. They're all pointing their guns down the hallway like the Rebels at the beginning of Star Wars. Except the Rebels didn't have to wait this long. Finally, Beresch loses patience and runs back over to Kiefer, sticking his eavesdropping earpiece back in place. He presses the muzzle of his gun to Kiefer's forehead and demands to know what's going on. "I don't know. You heard what I heard," Kiefer says, truthfully enough. Beresch dials Kiefer's phone and puts it to Kiefer's ear.
At CTU, Beresch/Kiefer's call comes through. Buchanan smoothly lies that there was a problem with the detonators, they're resetting them, and the good guys will be along at any minute. After the call ends, Kiefer tells Beresch, "They're in position." Now he looks sad, now that Beresch is too amped up to notice any deception anyway. They are worthy opponents for one another. Beresch runs back to his men, telling them to stay alert. Good advice, Beresch. Sucker.
Meanwhile, the two presidents are sitting down to sign the treaty. Watching the live coverage, The Man calls Beresch's cell phone. They exchange bitchy recriminations over the fact that it's come to this. "He's signing it," The Man says. "You have no choice. Kill them all." Beresch hangs up and looks over towards the hostages. Um, Beresch, isn't there something else you need to be taking care of first? And indeed, mere seconds later, a whole section of wall blows away in front of him and his men. They all fire their weapons repeatedly into the impenetrable dust cloud, stopping only when the smoke clears enough to make it apparent that nobody's there. While they're still confusedly processing this, armored agents bust through the wall behind them, guns blazing. Advantage: CTU. Actually, all of the fooferaw about where CTU was coming in has actually helped them, because they were able to add in that little fake-out non-entry and cause the bad guys to waste ammo, which wouldn't have happened with the original plan. I have this terrible feeling that we might somehow have Derek to thank for that.
Kiefer takes advantage of the chaos to shatter the nearest inside window with a well-placed kick. A terrorist falls before CTU bullets right to him, but Kiefer doesn't even flinch; he's bent on using the glass he's just broken to saw away at his bonds. I don't think that would work with safety glass, but whatever. Having freed himself, he drops to a crouch, grabs the gun off the corpse to him, and joins the battle, taking down two other terrorists his own self. He draws a bead on Beresch, who, seeing that Kiefer's got the drop on him, places his own gun to his head to avoid being taken alive. Because CTU tortures information out of people, as everyone knows, and he can't have that. Kiefer closes one eye and shoots Beresch in the arm, sending the gun flying. No catastrophic head trauma for you! ["Unless Kiefer's dishing it out himself." -- Sars] As the battle continues (with the terrorists getting a severe spanking), Beresch crawls over to the body of his nearest fallen comrade. "No!" Kiefer bellows, but Beresch quickly activates the dead guy's explosive vest and gets himself blown into off-camera, network-friendly pieces. By this point, nobody's left standing but CTU agents. I mean, the hostages are down, but they're like that on purpose. Kiefer runs to Derek to help him up, asking if the kid's okay. Derek looks forward to going home and spending some quality time with his shiny new case of PTSD.
At CTU, Curtis's voice rings out over the speakerphone, announcing that the terminal has been secured without any more civilian casualties. "Good work, Curtis," McGill says heartily. Buchanan makes sure Novick heard it; Novick did, and I'm a little disappointed that Buchanan didn't leave his phone in the break room after all. Novick congratulates Buchanan and hangs up. President Logan is looking grave and depressed at his signing table at 10:45:22, until Novick comes up to whisper in his ear. Logan stands and happily announces that the hostage crisis is over. "The rescue operation that I authorized was successful." Gosh, thanks, Logan, for saving everyone's lives. Punk. Everyone applauds, and the Russian president smiles approvingly. Maybe he should be taking notes.
At the terminal, the ex-hostages are milling about. Kiefer leads a still-bound Derek over to an armored CTU agent and introduces himself. "I know who you are, sir," the agent ass-kisses. As Kiefer borrows a tool from the agent to free Derek, he introduces the kid and asks the agent to take him back to his mom at the CTU command post outside. "What about you?" Derek asks. Kiefer warmly growls, "Come here," in a way that makes millions of viewers ovulate on the spot. Including me. He pulls Derek into a long hug and whispers, "I have to finish this. Take care of your mother." And yet, he sends the kid off without a ball gag.
That done, Kiefer's got another urgent piece of business to take care of. He turns and scans the ex-hostages, looking for the guy in the yellow tie. Of course, Yellow Tie is nowhere to be seen. "I'm missing one," he tells the viewing audience. He calls out to the remaining ex-hostages, asking if any of them saw Yellow Tie leave. Nobody speaks up, because they're only extras. "Keep the hostages here until I get back," Kiefer says to the nearest agent. So I guess I started using the term ex-hostages a bit prematurely. It's 10:47:26.
10:51:53. FLOTUS waits near the stage for her moment, Derek makes his way out of the terminal, and Diane awaits his return at the command post. Derek calls out to his mom, and there is much hugging and crying on both sides. "Jack saved my life," Derek snivels. "He saved everyone's life." ["Drink!" -- Sars] Well, except for two people. The phrase "airport terminal" took on new meaning for those guys, didn't it? Diane quietly (!) asks a nearby agent if she can see Kiefer, but the agent says he has to take them right to CTU. I don't know what the hell Kiefer could be thinking, turning Diane loose in a place that has so many glass walls. After a couple of hours there won't be anything holding up the roof.
At the treaty signing, President Logan leaves the stage to thunderous applause. Or as thunderous as applause gets when it's outside. That seems like a rare PR gaffe on his part. On his way, he shakes hands with President Suvarov, Novick, and Walt, who's smiling proudly (or pretending to). At 10:52:56, his wife catches up with him as he descends the steps, saying again that she has to talk to him. Logan tells the worried-looking FLOTUS to smile, now that "it's over." He promises he'll have time for her soon, but not now. He's all condescending to her, using that skittish-horse tone again that just pisses her off now, almost as much as it does me. "I am not crying wolf again," she insists, and just the fact that she said "again" should score her some more credibility points with Logan. But listening isn't so much Logan's thing, so he just blows her off again. "Do not ruin this moment for me," he warns her before walking off. Ass. Walt catches up to FLOTUS and asks her if everything is all right. She says it's not, and she needs to talk to Logan ASAP. "The situation is more dangerous than he realizes," she drama-queens. Walt asks her what she means, probably to find out what she knows or suspects. But, wisely, FLOTUS refuses to answer his questions. "I can only talk to Charles about this," she frets. And really, that's the saddest part of her whole situation.
At CTU, Chloe comes into the Situation Room with the good news that there are only minor injuries among the hostages. Well, except for those two gaping skull wounds. Buchanan -- who's in the room with Audrey -- thanks Chloe and tells her to start running field updates through McGill. "Okay," Chloe says, arching her eyebrows so severely that they read "Whatever" in Arabic. On her way out, McGill passes her in the doorway and gives a little "Thanks" as she accidentally opens the door for him. I'm already digging those geeky little moments of his. You just know they're not in the script. Buchanan immediately apologizes to McGill for not trusting him, but McGill turns it right around and gives Buchanan credit for helping him figure out what Kiefer was up to. McGill: "I admit I was suspicious of Mr. Bauer, but you were so adamant about his integrity that I looked for a way to reconcile the contradiction. So thank you." And then they make out. No, not really; Audrey's sitting right there. And now's a good a time as any for me to remark that for two hours in a row, Audrey was in on any number of conference calls with Kiefer and never said a word. So he probably doesn't even know that she's around, and won't until he comes face-to-face with her at CTU. Isn't it just like her to withhold pertinent information until the very moment when it'll create the most drama? Maybe I shouldn't have told her to shut up so many times last season; she appears to have taken it to heart. In which case, shut up, Diane. But back to the men in the scene. Now that McGill has been all conciliatory, it of course turns out that he wants something. Specifically, he orders Kiefer taken into custody. He explains to a surprised Buchanan and Audrey that Kiefer's still a suspect in the deaths of Palmer and Michelle, after all. "Bring him in. Now," he insists. Buchanan looks at Audrey like, It was going so well with him for about ten seconds or so.
It's 10:55:44 as Kiefer jogs back into the main concourse area at the terminal, the man-purse back in its proper place across his body. You'll notice he put himself in danger to save Derek, but kept the man-purse hidden safely away. I predict that sometime this season, he's going to have to make some agonizing Hobson's choice where he'll have to sacrifice a loved one, or a key witness, or a vital lead, or himself, or the man-purse. It'll be interesting to see how that plays out. He tells the waiting agents that the rest of the building is clear, and keeps scanning the hostages in case he missed Yellow Tie before somehow. Curtis strides in, and the two men exchange manly greetings. You'll recall that this is the first time they've actually seen each other since before Kiefer's "death." Kiefer tells Curtis that they need to start looking for Yellow Tie right away, but Curtis says he has orders to get Kiefer back to CTU. Frustrated, Kiefer tells Curtis about the key card he saw Beresch pass to Yellow Tie. "Something else is going down here. We've got to find this guy now." I'd just like to say right now that if this whole hostage thing was nothing but a cover to transfer Chevensky's key card to Yellow Tie, I'm going to be so pissed. Rent a locker, idiots. Anyway, Curtis promises to stick around and track down Yellow Tie, but Kiefer's still got to be escorted back to CTU. Kiefer realizes he's stuck, and gives a detailed description of Yellow Tie to Curtis, who promises to find him. Kiefer goes and hands over his man-purse to his CTU escort, saying, "These are my weapons." Nice try, Kiefer, but I'm still calling it the man-purse. As they walk out, Curtis gets on the comm system to have his men start looking for Yellow Tie.
Hey, I found him! He walks into some outbuilding or hangar or warehouse or something, which, given how long it took him to get there, is probably on the airport grounds. Or, given what show we're talking about, it could also be in San Diego. Yellow Tie finds himself looking down the barrel of a gun held by a bearded Russian in a leather jacket. Yellow Tie calmly pushes the gun away, and explains that his tardiness is due to "a problem with Chevensky." He shows Leather Jacket the card key, and Leather Jacket turns and leads him deeper into the building at 10:57:15. They quickly reach a large, rough hole in the concrete floor about ten feet deep. Two guys are standing at the bottom of the hole looking up at them, flanking a large metal cube about five feet on a side. The top of the cube is still covered with the powdered concrete that landed on it when the floor was broken through, so we can probably conclude that the breach occurred recently. Yellow Tie and Leather Jacket climb down the ladder into the hole, and it's clear that they're in some kind of underground vault. Yellow Tie sticks his key card into a reader on the side of the cube, and the beeping and clicking that follows is exactly what they expected. All four men don gas masks, and then lift the lid off the giant container and put it aside. Inside are twenty large Thermoses, shrouded in cryogenic mist and each with a biohazard symbol stamped on its cap. Leather Jacket runs some kind of reader device over the Thermoses and gives the all-clear in Russian. All the men remove their gas masks, and Yellow Tie pulls out his cell phone. Of course he has no problem getting a signal in an underground concrete vault. To be fair, the thing does have an antenna the size of my forearm. The Man answers, asking, "Do you have the merchandise?" Yellow Tie confirms it. "Transportation's been arranged," The Man says. "Call me when you're out." Leather Jacket is already lifting one of the Thermoses of Death out of the hole.
Split-screen time. Kiefer leaves the airport, flanked by plainclothes CTU agents. Derek takes his second helicopter ride of the morning, but this time with his mom in the back of a CTU helicopter. Thermoses of Death get transferred out of the vault. Logan enjoys his moment, a ritual which appears to entail standing around and looking blank. No wonder he didn't have time to talk to FLOTUS right then; he had some very important staring to do. The First Lady just looks worried.
In what would be a choppy edit if it occurred during a normal scene instead of in a transition out of split-screen, FLOTUS drinks a glass of water in her suite, desultorily watching the news coverage of the treaty signing that just occurred. When she hears the door open, she asks, "Evelyn, did you get a chance to speak to my husband?" The only answer is a chloroformed rag being pressed over her face by a gloved hand. Yeah! Go Evelyn! Oh, wait, it's Walt. Damn. Once FLOTUS's struggling ceases and she goes limp, Walt sticks the rag in his pants pocket, condemning an unsuspecting barista at his local coffee house to sudden unconsciousness when he hands over a fiver for his latte the morning. Walt then digs the transcript out of the front of FLOTUS's shirt, and also doesn't spill any boob. What a gentleman. It's 11:00:00.