Day Four: 6:00 AM -- 7:00 AM

Previously on 24: Way previously, in fact, because what I'm about to recap before we get to the final hour is a sort of prequel that was included on the Season Three DVD as a preview for Season Four. It'll never be shown on network TV, so unless you have access to the DVD I'm your only way of finding out what happens in the preview. No need to thank me; cash will suffice. Here goes:

The promo begins the same way that Season Three ended; Kiefer gets into his CTUmobile and starts crying like an asshole. Although the screen fades to black before he really gets going this time.

And then we get a title card in yellow 24 font over a black screen: "Three Months Later." Driscoll (remember her?) sits behind her desk in the DrisCube, reading some report or other. Looks like she's had a hot oil recently, so it's not like she didn't know about them when Season Four started. Kiefer enters the DrisCube in his casual clothes and says, "You wanted to see me?" Driscoll invites him to have a seat. He does. She makes him wait while she finishes what she's reading, which would be kind of an asshole move even if she weren't going to do what she's about to do. Finally, she comes around the desk to sit in the chair across from him. He asks how she's settling in. She says it'll take some time, but change always does. Foreshadowing! Kiefer says to let him know if there's anything he can do. She doesn't say, "Leave and never come back," but she's not far off. "I'm removing you as head of field ops," she Band-Aid-rips. Kiefer's confused, and none too happy. "I don't understand," he says. "Where do you want me to go?" "That's up to you," she says. Cold! She continues, "I've decided you're a liability that I don't want to carry." Yes, Driscoll's carrying Kiefer. That sounds plausible. Kiefer would like her to explain how he's a liability. She says, "I can look past all the off-book behavior that's been documented over the last five years, even though it's been substantial. But the fact that you were addicted to heroin? I can't get past that." Kiefer holds his temper, saying, "I incurred that habit in the line of duty. I was maintaining my cover. I came clean about it. And I haven't touched anything since I entered the program." Driscoll commends him for that, "but it's still a vulnerability. And in my judgement, that vulnerability will hurt your performance." She says she doesn't tolerate any weaknesses. Which doesn't explain why Potato Face gets to stay, but whatever. Kiefer nods and says he can understand, and he rises to walk out. Driscoll says she can help him get a new position. He stops at the door, turns, and deliberately says, "I can find my own fucking job, Erin. Thank you." And he's out.

Black Screen. Title card: "One Year Later." Three Middle Eastern guys huddle in some desert scrub at nighttime over a subtitle that reads "U.S. Mexico Border [sic]." I guess since this was never going to be shown on network TV, they didn't need a censor or a subtitle proofreader. One of them blinks a flashlight at someone who's waiting some distance away on the other side of a double layer of chain link fence. The other guy starts running. One of the guys says to the guy in the middle (a bald guy whom you may recognize from the season premiere as TerrorTurk), "Go straight across. Someone is waiting for you on the other side." Except he says it in Spanish with English subtitles. Oh, my mistake; those other two guys must be Mexicans. I was so confused by the way the show kept hiring Hispanic actors to play Middle Eastern terrorists that I assumed these guys were playing Middle Easterners as well. Sorry about that.

TerrorTurk and one of the Mexicans run for the fence. They slide down a steep embankment, kicking up a ridiculous amount of dust up into the moonlight along the way. TerrorTurk is dragging briefcase with him. At the bottom is an eight-foot concrete wall topped by chain link. Leaving the case behind, TerrorTurk accepts a boost to the top of the wall, where a gap has already been cut into the fence. He wiggles through. The Rio Grande is so not grande that it's barely a rio at this point; it's just a trickle along the bottom of the concrete riverbed, which is consistent with how dry the surrounding banks are. TerrorTurk crawls across an extension ladder that's been laid across the river to the other side. The Mexican who accompanied him to the wall climbs back up the embankment, now holding the briefcase. When he rejoins his compadre, they open the case to reveal stacks of Benjamins. Across the river, TerrorTurk drops a satchel to the man waiting below, then hops down himself and recovers his bag. They both dash over to an old sedan parked nearby. The guy with the car opens the trunk and holds out the keys to TerrorTurk, who gut-shoots him through a silencer before taking them. Now that's just rude. The man falls forward into TerrorTurk's arms, and TerrorTurk dumps the body in the trunk. Meanwhile, the two compadres from the other side finish counting their money and hop back into their van. Which TerrorTurk, using a remote control, blows to hell with a bomb he must have planted earlier. He makes a satisfied face at the conflagration across the river and slams the trunk lid as the burning hulk of the van starts sliding down the embankment. He hops into the car and dials a cell phone. "I'm in the U.S.," he says in English before hanging up, a short call even for this show. He drives off, all his loose ends taken care of except for that extension ladder and a soon-to-be-charred pile of bones, scrap metal, and money on the far side of the border. Fade to black.

Title card: "Six Hours Before Day 4 Begins." Downtown Los Angeles is pretty at night. DoDder lets herself into a darkened hotel room. "Hello," she calls softly, dropping the old-fashioned metal room key on the table to a gigantic flower arrangement. There's a figure in the dark behind her, and she gasps as an arm is wrapped around her waist. But she's quickly smiling and turning around to kiss the shadowy stranger whose face we can't yet see. Really, knowing this chick, it could be just about anyone. She pushes his suit jacket off, and he carries her to the bed, where they mack some more. After a minute or so the light from outside hits his face and we see that it's Kiefer. He stares at her for a moment, then goes back in for another snog. The screen goes black.

Title card: "He lost his job." Then: "But found a woman who loves him." Then, "It took a long time for Jack Bauer to feel good again Then Day 4 began." Then we get the two-second title sequence with the digital numerals, followed by two more title cards: "Day 4" and "Two Hour Premiere Monday January 3, 2005 on FOX." Don't miss it!