Day Four: 9:00 PM -- 10:00 PM

You know how Fox's promo department spent the whole week trying to convince you that Kiefer was going to die this week? I hope it won't ruin the suspense for you too much if I tell you straight off: not so much.

Previously on 24: Grayadder took a bullet for Kiefer, who said to DoDder, "It happened so fast, he was hit before I could do anything." Except he didn't say that last week. These previouslies lie! DoDder was afraid for her husband's life, and Kiefer felt just awful about it. He convinced TerrorMom to join him undercover to approach TerrorProf. ImhoTerror saw through the clever ruse and ended up taking Kiefer prisoner. "You've caused me a lot of trouble, Mr. Bauer," ImhoTerror said, except he didn't address Kiefer by name last week. Don't trust these previouslies, people. TerrorMom failed the oldest loyalty test in the book when she tried to shoot ImhoTerror instead of Kiefer with an empty gun, and she took a couple of slugs for her trouble while Kiefer was hauled away. Poor Man's Eric Stoltz, working for ImhoTerror, kidnapped, murdered, and impersonated an Air Force pilot and walked into a hangar containing an actual fighter plane. The following takes place between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM.

At CTU, the search for Kiefer is still in full swing. Potato Face notifies Bitchelle that the white van from last week has already turned up abandoned. That was quick. What did the terrorists do, park it at the police station and set fire to it? Furthermore, TerrorMom's body is inside it. I guess that answers that question. Man, what a pisser that the arc of one of this season's most interesting characters ended so unceremoniously. What makes it even more disappointing is all the interviews that Shohreh Aghdashloo did, saying that she broke her own moratorium on playing terrorists because she knew how things ended for the character, and all that stuff about how "things aren't always what they seem." Yeah, TerrorMom seemed smart until her last minute alive. Bitchelle, like me, rolls her eyes. Then she barks out a couple of orders before making an announcement to the floor at large: Kiefer's missing, presumed held by ImhoTerror, who's almost certainly planning another attack, and therefore everyone needs to work together to find "him." Coordinate with Lispy Skip. I don't know why they just don't run the previouslies on the CTU big screen at the top of every hour. Oh, wait, yes I do. Because they LIE.

In the back of a black van traveling down the road, Kiefer regains consciousness. Don't know when he lost it. Maybe he decided to grab a catnap during the ten minutes of previouslies. In any case, if he's been out of it, it might explain what he says to TerrorTeen later on. ImhoTerror's cell phone rings. Before answering it, he glances back at Kiefer, who quickly plays possum.

The call is from Poor Man's Eric Stoltz, who's got bad news: his plane has been grounded due to technical difficulties. ImhoTerror isn't trying to hear that: "Resolve this nowyour window of opportunity on the target closes in an hour." Poor Man's Eric Stoltz grimly says he understands, hangs up, and approaches the one mechanic in the entire hangar, and indeed the entire Air Force, as far as we'll see this hour. The mechanic explains he's been sent down from Hawkins FAFB (Fictional Air Force Base) to work on the plane, which is why he doesn't not recognize Poor Man's Eric Stoltz, if you follow. The mechanic says that the trouble sensor is indicating a hairline fracture in one of the plane's strut pins, and there won't be a replacement until morning. Poor Man's Eric Stoltz acts mildly put out, like he can't believe some dinky little strut pin is keeping him on the ground, until the mechanic explains that if the strut pin fails, the back end of the plane will go all Lost on him when he tries to land. The only safe way out of the aircraft would be to eject and hope the plane doesn't hit anyone on the ground. Poor Man's Eric Stoltz nods as though he surely wouldn't want that to happen. The mechanic says he's about to make his report to the Chief Mechanical Officer and "head up to Ventura for a little R&R." "Don't let me hold you up," says Poor Man's Eric Stoltz. Which is an interesting choice of words, because as soon as the mechanic turns his back, Poor Man's Eric Stoltz puts a bullet into it. Lucky for PMES that he and the mechanic had the entire hangar all to themselves, isn't it?

9:05:22. At CTU, Soul Patch is handed a report, the contents of which he relays to Bitchelle: TerrorMom has been dead less than thirty minutes, according to the coroner's report. The fastest autopsy in history aside, I'd just like to say, "duh." You were still listening in on her conversations less than thirty minutes ago. So they can assume that that period is when ImhoTerror grabbed Kiefer. Again, duh. Also, the search radius is 1500 square miles, but that's increasing by the minute. As it does. Bitchelle asks about chatter; Soul Patch says it's actually dying down, which could either mean the end of attacks for the day, or, as Bitchelle says, "The calm before the storm." All they know is that if Kiefer's alive, he'll figure out a way to contact them. Well, sure, but only if there's a nearby army to fight with. Soul Patch goes back to work. Bitchelle looks at him speculatively, then renews the conversation: "I heard Kiefer called you today," she says. Soul Patch admits it. "And that you saved his life," Bitchelle presses. "Well, we both know I owed him one, right?" Bitchelle gives him a tight smile. They do not have sex. Yet.

Soul Patch spots DoDder approaching them from across the floor, and suggests they tell her what's going on with Kiefer. "Why?" Bitchelle asks. "They're involved," Soul Patch says. Bitchelle, pearl-clutchingly: "She's married." Soul Patch, blandly: "Separated." I've got a feeling that distinction is going to be important in a later discussion between these two, albeit in a different context. Bitchelle doesn't want to tell DoDder in case they have to leave Kiefer twisting in the breeze. Soul Patch disagrees. "She's a professional. She knows that's a possibility." Heh. Good one. He's talking about the person who asked him just over an hour ago what happens to the loser in a firefight. "But hey, you're the boss," says Soul Patch. "It's your call." They might still be together if he'd said that more often.

DoDder reaches them and asks if they've heard from Kiefer. Which is odd, because last hour she didn't know he was even leaving. Soul Patch looks expectantly at Bitchelle, letting her decide how to field the question. She rips off the Band-Aid: "Kiefer's missingwe think he was taken by ImhoTerror." DoDder says, "What are we doing to get him back?" "Everything we can," Bitchelle promises. "How did this happen?" DoDder asks. Uh-oh, she's mad again. That's what that question means, you know. Bitchelle explains that no one is fully protected in the field. "Who was in charge of this operation?" DoDder demands, so she can know off of whom she needs to go rip a strip. "I was," Bitchelle says levelly. DoDder looks at her like, "Oooooh, maybe not." She just says, "Get him back, Bitchelle," and walks away rather than throwing down. Sure, she's pissed and freaked out and terrified, but she's not suicidal.

9:07:44. I am totally moving to L.A., because the abundance of abandoned real estate in that supposedly inflated market is a potential gold mine. The downside is that vacant buildings appear to breed terrorists the way stagnant water breeds mosquitoes. CTU Detroit must really have its hands full. In this scene, we find ourselves in yet another old warehouse, this one apparently serving as ImhoTerror's current hideout. Kiefer is dragged in, forced to an awkward kneeling position, and held down as his handcuffs are looped over a chain running along the wall at waist height. ImhoTerror wants to talk. "Don't waste your time," Kiefer says. There you go, Kiefer. Encourage the pissed-off terrorist with unlimited resources to get back to whatever he was doing before you showed up. In any case, it doesn't work. ImhoTerror wants to know if TerrorProf -- who, as he informs Kiefer, "has since martyred himself" -- was CTU's only link to ImhoTerror. All Kiefer will say is that whatever ImhoTerror has planned is going to fail, "just like everything else you've tried today." ImhoTerror takes exception to that, pointing out the train bombing and the meltdown of one nuclear plant. "That wasn't really your plan, was it?" Kiefer sneers, reminding everyone of the 103 power plants that didn't melt down. "That's what America will remember. That we stopped you." ImhoTerror says that America will remember DaD being held hostage, and claims that "this country will be forever afraid to let their leaders appear in public." Bwah! Kiefer can barely suppress his own mirth: "Whatever you throw at us, I promise you: that'll never happen." What he doesn't say is that in his two careers, as a death-cheating field agent and as a D.C. policy wonk, he's learned where the most dangerous place on Earth is: between a politician and a TV camera. ImhoTerror leaves the room.

In the adjoining hallway, he's approached by an IT minion. I can tell he's in IT because he's wearing suspenders. He says they have a problem: remember how they killed Poor Man's Poor Man's Eric Stoltz's whole fam damily? Well, even though they disposed of the bodies, a relative showed up at the house and called the cops, who are already looking into it. And of course, since PMPMES was a military pilot, the report will get flagged to other agencies and reach CTU "within the hour." "We have to make sure CTU is too busy to realize its significance," ImhoTerror declares. "How?" asks the IT minion. Instead of answering, ImhoTerror goes back to Kiefer to ask about TerrorTeen. Kiefer decides there's no harm in telling ImhoTerror that TerrorTeen is safely in CTU custody. ImhoTerror leaves him alone again. Kiefer notices some kind of wire junction box right near where he's chained, and tries to edge himself over in that direction.

Potato Face is having trouble doing something on her computer, so she calls Lispy Skip to ask for the password to the central server. He offers to sign her on. She declines, insisting on the password. He refuses. It quickly devolves into an argument over who outranks whom. We all have so much time for this shit right now. Girls, girls, please. You're both pretty. Well, except for both of you. Potato Face hangs up and stomps over to Curtis to get him to tell Lispy Skip that she's the boss of him. Curtis calmly tells her that since Lispy Skip took over, she's working for him. She threatens to walk, until he says she'll get a 35% increase in pay plus bonus. Damn, that's a big raise. Potato Face obviously thinks so too, but she rallies quickly: "I should be getting that anyway," she bitches. "Skip works for me." Curtis ends the discussion: "Not today." Potato Face folds and asks Curtis for the central server password, which he rattles off. It's CIS15A, in case you ever want to hack into CTU or anything.

Skip calls Curtis over, telling him that ImhoTerror's on the phone and wants to talk to the boss. Looks like the bad guy took Kiefer's advice. Curtis technobabbles at Skip about recorders and tracers, then calls Bitchelle over. She puts in her little hands-free earpiece and takes the call. ImhoTerror gets right down to business: He's got Kiefer in custody, and he wants to trade him for TerrorTeen. They have ten minutes to get clearance, and then ImhoTerror will call back with details. He hangs up, too soon for Skip to have gotten a trace. He was on the line with Bitchelle for 25 seconds, and on hold with Skip twenty seconds before that. Which is fine, because they apparently needed ninety seconds to trace a call from Saunders last season. I'm sure the show has people on staff researching this continuity stuff, aren't you? Bitchelle orders ImhoTerror's voiceprint identity from the recording confirmed, and TerrorTeen "processed" in case they need to move him. "Why is TerrorTeen worth trading for Kiefer?" Curtis wonders. Bitchelle admits she doesn't know, but she wants to meet the tactical teams in the Situation Room anyway.

Back at the ImHideout, Kiefer has managed to just get himself into position to reach his handcuffed mitts into the junction box and fiddle around in there. Way to leave him alone, you guys. Didn't you learn anything when DaD and DoDder tried to fill the TerrorDome with gas this morning? Oh, wait, all those guys are dead now. Never mind. It's 9:13:38.

9:18:05. Kiefer is still working on his DIY wiring project, ImhoTerror's just getting off the phone again, TerrorTeen's "processing" seems to involve showing him on a video monitor, and CTU folks are positioned around a conference table. At the ImHideout, ImhoTerror asks his IT minion whether the LAPD has sent the news of PMPMES's family to CTU yet. The IT minion, who's pretty well set up with a whole multilevel computer system -- essentially, for the purposes of this episode, the most sophisticated police scanner ever devised -- says that the report has been flagged and will be sent to CTU within the 15 minutes. ImhoTerror almost looks worried: "If they get hold of that report even a minute too soon, they'll be able to stop us." ImhoTerror wants to know the second CTU catches its snap.

He's right to be nervous, because CTU is doing what it does best: having a meeting. Bitchelle is still wondering why ImhoTerror wants to trade Kiefer for TerrorTeen. Soul Patch has two theories: one, there's a personal connection, and two, TerrorTeen has info that can "damage" ImhoTerror. Both wrong! But Bitchelle agrees anyway. She wants Lispy Skip to dig into TerrorTeen's history. She also asks Curtis to "push harder" with TerrorTeen, and to hurry, since she figures ImhoTerror is going to want to make the swap within the hour. She also instructs Soul Patch to watch Curtis from the observation room. The two men leave the room together at 9:19:20 as Potato Face confirms to Bitchelle that ImhoTerror's voice print confirmed his identity. Which she learned by comparing a "voice memo" from MacGuffin Factories. Too bad the EMP wiped out everything at MF HQ, huh?

On their way to the interrogation room, Soul Patch and Curtis debate how best to get information from TerrorTeen. Curtis thinks threatening the immunity deal (again) will work, but Soul Patch wants to use "physical pressure." Curtis the Conscience scowls uncomfortably, but agrees to call Eric the Torture Guy. That's when DoDder, hair down now, rolls up for a new update. Soul Patch sends Curtis on ahead, then obliges her by saying they now know that Kiefer's being held by ImhoTerror. DoDder gets snippy about not being told this before, but Soul Patch says, "Things are moving pretty fast." Unlike DoDder, he doesn't add. He explains ImhoTerror's trade proposal. "When's that going to happen?" DoDder demands. Soul Patch says that it might not, since TerrorTeen might turn out to have some value after all. Soul Patch says there's a lot to go over before a decision is made and he'll keep her posted, but right now he's got a date with Curtis, TerrorTeen, and Eric the Torture Guy.

At 9:20:36, people are getting ready in the observation room. This includes a nice shot of CTU's buffet of interrogation drugs. Soul Patch reminds Curtis that TerrorTeen doesn't know about TerrorMom's death, and Curtis steps inside with the kid. TerrorTeen asks what's going on, and about his mom. Curtis lies that she's fine, so he relaxes. Until Curtis grabs him up out of his chair and throws him against the wall. Ah, remodeling again. "Why are you doing this?" TerrorTeen whines. Well, kid, you're a terrorist, and you're in the Counter Terrorism Unit. Just be glad there's not a counter in there or your unit would be sitting on it. I'm sorry, that joke barely even makes sense to me. Curtis drops TerrorTeen back into his chair and grills him for what he knows about ImhoTerror. All the kid knows is that ImhoTerror is "the leader." Curtis turns and looks at the one-way glass. In the observation room, Soul Patch says. "Go ahead," to Eric the Torture Guy, who goes charging into the interrogation room with a syringe in his fist. "Sorrywe just don't have a lot of time," Curtis apologizes to a screaming TerrorTeen. Soul Patch watches dispassionately.

ImhoTerror calls CTU back. Lispy Skip announces the call, and as Bitchelle screws in her earpiece she hollers to the floor, "Everyone on this." People pick up phones all over the floor. ImhoTerror's first words to her are, "Union Conduit Dam. Thirty minutes." Bitchelle wants to know that Kiefer's still alive. ImhoTerror carries the phone over to Kiefer and holds it up to his face. "I'm being held in an abandoned warehouse somewhere downtown," Kiefer says, before ImhoTerror takes the phone back. "Satisfied?" he asks Bitchelle. Oh, come on, that could have been anyone's voice. Bitchelle asks for more time to set things up, but ImhoTerror disconnects. This call was even shorter than the first one, so of course Skip doesn't have a trace again. All of which is conveyed by a silent look between him and Bitchelle, in an uncharacteristically subtle moment. You're not lost now, are you?