Day Four: 4:00 PM -- 5:00 PM

Previously on 24: Well, actually, if you watched that promo during the last break of tonight's American Idol, which Fox clearly put together for the benefit of all the new viewers that this show was likely to get with its new lead-in, you're probably more up to speed with what's going on than you would be from anything I could tell you. Thanks, Fox, for rendering me totally superfluous. Except I will mention that AIIIEEEE!sha gets her own freeze frame with her name in the previouslies, so we know she's fucked this hour. The following takes place between 4:00 PM and 5:00 PM.

Kiefer's dashing around the hospital parking garage on his cell phone, voting for Constantine as many times as he can. No, he's actually talking to Driscoll, who's got him on speakerphone in a meeting with Team DoD. Kiefer explains that TerrorDad is keeping TerrorTeen hostage because he thinks that TerrorMom will spill everything if he kills their son. But the truth is that TerrorMom's cooperation will dry up if TerrorTeen dies, so Kiefer's got to rescue him. See? With all that exposition frontloaded at the start of the episode, you didn't need my update anyway. It's worth mentioning that they've got TerrorDad's driver's license projected on the screen at CTU, and the sickly grin he's wearing in his photo cracks me up. That must be one of his less impressive "I wasn't just lurking behind the door" smiles. DaD says Kiefer's got whatever he needs -- "Just get that kid." Before hanging up. Kiefer asks Driscoll to have someone do a thermal satellite scan of the hospital's basement. Like they have all day. "You're running out of time. Save my son," TerrorMom reminds him. Yeah, Kiefer -- how do you like it? "Bring her with us," he says. "We're going to need her." Agent Castle grabs her by her good arm and drags her backwards until he impales the back of her head on the camera lens. Ow.

TerrorDad has found his way to a laundry room, where he's busy giving his son a bitch-slapping. "You're not my son," he spits. Oh, way to confuse all those new viewers. They yell at each other. It's all very fraught. "Now I don't even recognize you," TerrorDad says. Dude, you didn't beat him that bloody. Keep at it. "Will that make it easier for you to kill me?" TerrorTeen says, as if that's a really good burn. TerrorDad, instead of chirping, "Yep!" pulls out his cell phone and its signal-scrambling restraining bolt. TerrorDad gets through to ImhoTerror pretty quickly. He has to explain his current situation, which he seems pretty embarrassed about. Luckily for him, ImhoTerror doesn't seem to feel like yelling at him too much when he realizes that TerrorDad is fucked anyway. Shaky-voiced, TerrorDad asks how much longer it'll be before the other reactors melt down, and ImhoTerror explains that since American programmers are working to counter the MacGuffin, it's taking a while. One to two hours, depending on what else the writers have going on week. TerrorDad promises to hold off the fuzz as long as he can. "I know you will," says ImhoTerror, and hangs up. So ImhoTerror's not sending in the cavalry, I take it.

While Kiefer, Soul Patch, and a small army of heavily armed government agents stroll through the hospital hallways and cause any number of codes, Driscoll calls Kiefer with the news that they've located two warm bodies in the basement laundry room. Hey, remember about five hours ago when Lispy Skip said that a thermal scan for the TerrorDome wouldn't work because of all the heat interference from the nearby power switching stations? Kiefer must have turned off every non-human heat source in the hospital for this scan to have worked so well. I just hope he remembers to turn them all back on. As for TerrorDad's hiding place, there's only one way in, except for a laundry chute running from the third floor that Driscoll figures is just about Kiefer-sized. Kiefer jumps on his walkie-talkie to tell some guys to meet him on the third floor with "a fast line and a rappelling harness." I understand that CTU field teams have to carry with them anything they might need, but sometimes I feel kind of bad for the guy who has to drive the semi. Kiefer also tells Castle to "put her into play," where "her" = TerrorMom. I don't know what "into play" means yet.

Lispy Skip's got a conference room all to himself when Driscoll comes in to ask for the latest timing estimates on the down-melting nuclear plants. The figures are forty minutes old, which displeases Driscoll. Skip apologizes, saying, "I've been a little upset about my mother." Driscoll tells him to put his emotions on hold for a little longer. "My mother just died, Ms. Driscoll," Skip says. "I can't put that on hold." So I guess she did die. As far as Skip knows, at least. I wish that after Skip's mom had killed herself, DoDder would have come up to Skip and said, "Hey, what you said to me before really hit home. I had to pull a lot of strings and promise to make some dispatcher a Joint Chief of Staff, but someone's on the way to pick your mom up now." Alas, this show hates me. Driscoll, rather than dragging Skip down to the clinic where her daughter nearly died a few hours ago, apologizes for being "callous." He promises to get his shit together as soon as they're done with the impending meeting. Which meeting consists of these two plus DaD, who enters, saying, "Bring [the new viewers] up to speed." Skip explains that they're working on fighting the MacGuffin and slowing the meltdown of the five remaining plants, but they're not going to be able to stop it. "So that means we still have to find the MacGuffin," DaD recaps. Driscoll explains to DaD that Kiefer's got TerrorDad cornered at the hospital. Which DaD knows, and which Driscoll knows DaD knows, because she was present when Kiefer told him. Who wrote this exposition, Ryan Seacrest? People, quit dialing in your votes and pay attention. You're being rude to the rest of the class. DaD brings up AIIIEEEE!sha, and Driscoll says she "sent Curtis to interrogate her." Because preventing an agent's personal feelings about a suspect from interfering with his judgment is less important than keeping the black people together in the same storyline, I guess. This subplot is brought to you by The Man.

It's 4:06:48. AIIIEEEE!sha's awake and getting "hooked up" to that nifty elastic wristband polygraph that CTU has. Is it still a polygraph if it only has one sensor? Wouldn't that make it a monograph? Curtis comes into the room. "I want to call my lawyer," is AIIIEEEE!sha's opening. Curtis doesn't exactly hop to. "I do have rights," AIIIEEEE!sha says. "TerrorGringo had rights too," Curtis non sequiturs. And then he has TerrorGringo's corpse wheeled in on a gurney. He flips back the sheet covering TerrorGringo's face and AIIIEEEE!sha recoils in horror. Well, who knew Curtis had such a flair for the morbidly dramatic? I guess he's tired of being limited to PowerPoint presentations all the time. Let's hope we can look forward to future CTU briefings where the visual aids will include the steaming, irradiated corpses of nuclear reactor crews. He tells AIIIEEEE!sha that the people who killed TerrorGringo are the same people who blew up her car. "Even if we let you go, you'd be dead in fifteen minutes." There's the door! But the only one leaving is TerrorGringo on his gurney. Curtis tells her that her "only chance to survive is to tell us what you know." AIIIEEEE!sha, demonstrating those brilliant room-reading skills that have carried her so far, says, "I want a deal." "You get to live. That's your deal," Curtis snaps. Wow, that's a pretty good deal. AIIIEEEE!sha agrees to cooperate. Curtis starts asking questions, but AIIIEEEE!sha doesn't have any answers, other than explaining that TerrorGringo sent her to CTU in order to "cover his tracks" if that "became necessary." Way to plan ahead there, TerrorGringo. She was in place for, like, three hours before you put her to work on that. Even though AIIIEEEE!sha doesn't have any names that can help Curtis, she says she can get them from TerrorGringo's computer in his office downtown. But it can't be accessed externally; it requires a thumbprint ID from either TerrorGringo or AIIIEEEE!sha. "Since he's dead," she finishes, "it'll have to be mine." She doesn't look too thrilled about leaving the relative safety of CTU. Hey, just have someone bring Curtis a Thermos full of ice and a pair of pruning shears and everyone's happy.

Agent Castle hauls TerrorMom over to the hospital laundry chute where Soul Patch is helping Kiefer get set up with his spelunking equipment. Kiefer explains to her that they've located the TerrorMen in the basement, and Soul Patch is going to take her down there and have her call her husband and try to keep him on the line as long as possible. She readily agrees, happy to hear that her son is still alive. Kiefer and Agent Castle finish getting Kiefer ready to plumb the depths of the laundry chute, an operation which for some reason requires both of them to do some fiddling with Agent Castle's groinal area. I knew there was something going on between those two. At 4:10:06, Kiefer dives into the chute headfirst, hanging upside down and looking pretty limber for a guy who just got run over by a car twelve minutes ago. Over his headset, he whispers directions to Agent Castle, who slowly lowers him into position.

Soul Patch and TerrorMom take up position in a stairwell, and Soul Patch hands her a cell phone, reminding her to keep TerrorDad on the line as long as possible. Helleeeew?

TerrorDad's busy rummaging through a locker of cleaning supplies (?) when his phone rings. TerrorMom begs for her son's life, which starts him off on a rant. He must be pretty pissed off, because he's got to realize that his wife wouldn't be calling without the permission, if not at the specific instruction, of the agents holding her, for reasons that can only be to his detriment. And yet he launches into a selection from Poor Man's Robert Davi's Big Book of Boring Radical Terrorist Tirades while Kiefer uses a nifty telescoping dental mirror to establish the positions of the two figures in the room below him. Kiefer whispers that he's ready to go. He gets lowered headfirst on his Mission Impossible harness, gun at the ready, and quickly rights himself once he's on the ground. It's a pretty big room and there are shelves and lockers everywhere, so neither TerrorTeen nor TerrorDad has noticed his entrance. Kiefer unclips himself from the cables and takes up position behind a cabinet, instructing Agent Castle to reel the harness rig back in. Sadly, TerrorDad's yammering isn't so loud that he doesn't hear the even louder clang of the harness frame against the edge of the laundry chute. Kiefer makes an "oh shit" face, as if anything that shuts up TerrorDad right now could be bad. I don't think Agent Castle is going to be getting any more groinal fiddling from Kiefer on this day. TerrorDad carefully moves towards Kiefer's position, drawing his gun as he goes. TerrorDad comes around the corner to receive a perfectly-timed, straight-armed backhand to the nose that sends him sprawling and his gun skittering across the floor towards TerrorTeen. Kiefer orders TerrorDad to his feet and tells him to put his hands on his head.

In the stairwell, Soul Patch starts down the steps.

TerrorDad, uncooperative to the last, rushes Kiefer. Soul Patch hears it on his earpiece and raises the alarm: "Hostile's engaged!" Castle brings TerrorMom down the stairs after Soul Patch. Kiefer and TerrorDad grapple while TerrorTeen grabs his dad's gun from the floor. You think he'll help Kiefer? That would be pretty cool of him, wouldn't it? But before he does, Kiefer prevails over his opponent all by himself with a vicious head-butt, and TerrorDad's on the ground again. Kiefer says he doesn't want to kill TerrorDad (no shit) but he will. TerrorDad slowly gets up and interlaces his fingers atop his head on Kiefer's orders.

The Patch Brigade makes its way through the basement towards the laundry room.

Kiefer and TerrorDad just stand there staring at each other for the few seconds when Kiefer would normally be reaching for his cuffs. But, of course, they're really only waiting for TerrorDad to get shot through the chest from behind. Which he does. The bullet looks like it barely misses Kiefer as it exits. TerrorDad looks at Kiefer in horrified confusion and coughs wetly a couple of times (translation: "Kids today, huh?") before collapsing on the floor. Yes, TerrorTeen killed him. Now that he was subdued and no longer dangerous. Fucking moron. Neither he nor Kiefer lowers his weapon, and now they're pointing them at each other. "It's okay, son," Kiefer says in a tone that very effectively hides exactly how pissed off he must be at this kid right now. "Put the gun down. It's over." There's a standoff, because of course Kiefer doesn't know how long it takes for TerrorTeen to let go of a gun once he's holding one. Soul Patch picks that moment to burst in, and together they convince TerrorTeen to disarm.

While Soul Patch cuffs the kid (I guess that immunity won't kick in until later), Kiefer checks for TerrorDad's pulse, which naturally isn't there. This is the second time a vital suspect has gotten shot out from under him in as many hours. Kiefer seriously needs to consider a new arrest protocol: "Drop the weapon! Put your hands on your head! Put on this bulletproof vest! Do it now!" Agent Castle, who I'm going to start calling Agent Discretion in a minute, brings TerrorMom on into the room with her dead husband and Oedipally freaking out son. Kiefer descends on her and demands to know where the MacGuffin is. "I don't know that," she says, "but I can give you an address where much of the work behind today's attacks was done." Kiefer's right up in her grill, saying that wasn't the deal. She insists that's all she knows, and rattles off the address. It would crack me up if it were the address of the TerrorDome, but nothing doing; "It was the last place I saw the men who were going to take possession of the MacGuffin." How long ago? "Yesterday." Kiefer dispatches advance teams to the house, with instructions that nobody goes in until they get there. Sure, he's always rushing other people, but he's got no problem making them wait around for him. Selfish. "What about these two?" Soul Patch says. "Until we know she's not lying," Kiefer says, "they come with us." Everyone heads out of the room, leaving TerrorDad to rot on the floor. Presumably with his cell phone that contains records of a shitload of calls to ImhoTerror, who has the MacGuffin, and whose location Lispy Skip could triangulate in ten seconds. Never mind that! Gotta go! No time! It's 4:15:02. Don't you love it when everything from the week's preview is taken care of in the first act? It makes me feel so unspoiled for the rest of the episode.

4:19:13. AIIIEEEE!sha sits in interrogation; DaD's running another meeting at CTU where they're no doubt covering a number of other facts we (and they) already know; andumTerrorTeen is in the hospital laundry room. Does Kiefer know he went back? Anyway, at DaD's meeting, Curtis has been explaining to DaD what AIIIEEEE!sha told him about her needing to be present to access the files on TerrorGringo's computer. DaD asks if Curtis believes her. Curtis: "I'm not sure. The polygraph indicates that she's telling the truth. But in my opinion, she may be a sociopath." DaD asks from beneath raised eyebrows, "Are you a psychologist?" Curtis demurs, but he says he's had "dealings" with her. By which he of course means "humpin' and pumpin'." DaD asks him, "[Humpin' and pumpin'] that might affect your judgment?" Curtis denies it. DaD asks for suggestions as to their move. Driscoll offers, "I can spare an operative from the cyber unit." Since when? "And a security team," she adds. DaD asks what DoDder thinks, because somebody has to once in a while. DoDder thinks Curtis should go with AIIIEEEE!sha. Huh. Why do you suppose she wants him dead? Driscoll says she needs Curtis at CTU, but DoDder and her stupid mouth say, "Someone with experience needs to examine [the data] firsthand." What, there's nobody else with "experience" at CTU? Weak. No way is DaD going to agree with this. "I agree," DaD says. Oh, never mind. Driscoll stink-eyes DoDder, then she and Curtis leave the room. On the way out, Curtis says to her quietly, "I don't like this." Most of us don't like our death sentences, Curtis. But Driscoll says those are the orders. "Get it done and get back here as quickly as you can." Poor Curtis, soon to become a Handsome Black Agent in the field. We know how Driscoll feels about people who try to walk off the job, so his only options are to undergo some kind of horrible disfigurement, or attempt to change his race a la Michael Jackson. But I repeat myself.

Driscoll heads into the CTU clinic, where Special Agent Breck is perched on the end of a cot, looking like her cat died. "You all right?" Driscoll asks. Special Agent Breck nods. "Anything you need?" "I'm fine," Special Agent Breck lies. Driscoll says, "You understand I had no choice. You were identified as a threat to security and I acted accordingly." That is the worst apology ever. "I would have hoped you had more faith in me," Special Agent Breck says, looking her awful, awful boss in the eye for the first time and giving us a good look at her smeared makeup. Driscoll says she does have faith in Special Agent Breck on a personal level, but she couldn't ignore evidence brought to her by the Secretary of Defense. Special Agent Breck wonders what happens now. Driscoll says Special Agent Breck can go home and rest, or, if she's up to it, Driscoll can use her on the floor. After being mistakenly tortured by my boss, I think I'd hold out for a third and much, much better option. One that involved ice cream, at the very least. Special Agent Breck says she'll go back to work. Driscoll thanks her and leaves, followed by an exceedingly ambiguous stare from Special Agent Breck.

4:21:52. As AIIIEEEE!sha rolls down her shirtsleeve so she can put that flight attendant jacket of hers back on, she's explaining to Curtis that getting the computer files shouldn't take long: "Five minutes to get up to his office, five minutes to download the data." "So we're looking at a fifteen-minute operation?" Curtis says. He really doesn't want to go out there, does he? He warns her that he'll "take action" if he thinks she's stalling. She looks less nervous than I would, considering he just picked up a pair of pliers from the table. He tells her to "raise your leg. Don't make me do it for you." She obeys. You think he's going to take a toe? No, it turns out that the pliers are used to attach a locator to her ankle. She makes some noises about his trusting her, and trying to reassure him that she's feeling all helpful-like inside now, but he's not hearing it. He just wants to "retrieve the data your boyfriend hid and put you in jail for treason." She overplays her shitty hand by laying one on his shoulder. "Get your hand off me," he rumbles. She does, wondering why none of the usual stuff is working on this guy. Try "he wasn't my boyfriend." That always gets people on your side.

DaD approaches DoDder at her temporary workstation to passively-aggressively tell her that the local DoD office is shorthanded at the moment, but he can't go over there himself. She volunteers to head over in his place. Whatever; it's just a cheap way to get DoDder out of the office. After what she did to Curtis, she deserves no better.

You know who does deserve better? Lispy Skip, who welcomes Special Agent Breck back to her desk and gets a fairly chilly greeting in return. She must not be aware of his role in getting her sprung, or she'd bypass her chair and dive right under his desk. Instead, she just wants to be brought up to speed. Skip does so. It's nothing you don't already know, except that although Special Agent Breck is still pretty shaky, her ponytail and bitchface continue to be fully functional.