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Previously on 24: Senator Keeler had "proof" that Palmer lied to the police in the form of Alan Milliken's prescription bottle. Brother Palmer offered to try to steal the bottle from Lady Mac, because he is stupid. Soul Patch was ready to trade Spawnders for Bitchelle, but Kiefer put a stop to that so he could do the trade his way. Spawnders lost her nerve, the swap went south, and Saunders made a break for it, but Kiefer captured him with the help of a couple of handy fighter planes. Kiefer demanded to know where the remaining eleven vials of the virus were, but Saunders wasn't inclined to share. The following takes place between 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM. Kiefer sounds glad that he doesn't have to give two morning times with the same amount of emphasis on both "AM"s for a change.
Things have calmed down under the Sixth Street Bridge. Soul Patch is giving a statement, firefighters are hosing down Saunders's burned-out helicopter, Saunders's henchmen are in body bags on the pavement, Special Agent Charlie Brown is getting a new bandage on his perforated hand, and Spawnders is experimenting with some new blank expressions. Kiefer approaches a CTU agent who's fiddling with a confiscated laptop. The agent tells Kiefer he's working on pulling the locations of the missing eleven vials, which is going to be tricky. Of course. Kiefer walks around to where a handcuffed Saunders is standing and asks where the vials are. Saunders tells him that he's wasting his time; he doesn't have the information in his laptop. Awfully nice of him to share that. Kiefer asks again. I'm just going to type a number every time he does that, preceded by the letter K. So we're at K2 now. Saunders boasts that his couriers are true believers in his cause, and it looks like he was serious about his motivation a few episodes ago. Too bad, but it's too late to do anything about that now. Kiefer reminds Saunders of the eight hundred victims at Inn Fection, and Saunders blows them off as the "first casualties." Kiefer wants to know "what happened to" Saunders, and all he gets is a smug smile and a lot of whining about how he was abandoned by the people he worked for. Yeah, that would suck, but you knew going in that that could happen, you crybaby. Saunders reveals that his men have been instructed to release the virus at noon, and that he'll only stop them if Kiefer agrees to his terms: he wants to be on his private plane from Van Nuys to North Africa. Ooh, how exciting! Just imagine flying to North Africa: you get off the plane at the North Africa Airport, you see all the signs saying "Welcome to North Africa," hear people speaking North African everywhere. Kiefer's not up for that, so Saunders tells him that in that case, hundreds of thousands will die. He reminds Kiefer that the Bosnian Secret Police couldn't break him in two years, and wonders if Kiefer will be able to break him in less than an hour. Kiefer looks as if he'd like to try. Maybe it would help if someone got him a box to stand on; it's hard to intimidate someone who towers over you. Kiefer steps out of Saunders's earshot and calls for Spawnders into his walkie-talkie.
“ Spawnders tries to prevail on Saunders to abandon his plan, but he insists he's doing it for her sake, to make the world a better place. Well, it'll be a less crowded place, in any event. ”
A tall, shaven-headed guy in a suit walks up to Soul Patch and asks for his gun. Soul Patch hands it over. Cue Ball then orders Soul Patch frisked, and two other agents spin him around to comply. Special Agent Charlie Brown sees this and steps up to Soul Patch's defense, but Cue Ball isn't impressed. Kiefer approaches as well, and when Cue Ball announces that Soul Patch is being taken into custody, Kiefer apologetically tells Soul Patch there's nothing he can do right now. Soul Patch puts on a brave face as he's led away in handcuffs. It's 11:06:40. Kiefer's order for a fresh, hot Spawnders arrives promptly, and he asks her to try to talk her dad out of his plan. Kiefer gives her a little pep talk, neglecting to mention that her life may depend on her success. Spawnders approaches her father, who has the decency to look embarrassed about the imminent conversation. Spawnders tries to prevail on Saunders to abandon his plan, but he insists he's doing it for her sake, to make the world a better place. Well, it'll be a less crowded place, in any event. Spawnders gives up on him and storms off in disgust. Kiefer, seeing this, tells his walkie-talkie to "get the choppers ready."
It's 11:09:01, and Lady Mac is sunning herself on the porch of her fabulous beach house when her phone rings. It's Palmer. I notice they've pretty much given up on that "please hold for the President" routine. Lady Mac doesn't seem too impressed that Palmer's calling her, even when he says he might be ready to match Keeler's offer. Palmer tells her it's in both their best interests to discuss it, and he would be right if he weren't lying. He prefers to discuss it in person rather than on the phone, and names a local baseball field to meet her at in twenty-five minutes. She makes noises about the short notice. To his credit, he doesn't fold. He even claims that he's got a busy schedule, and if he has to change meetings around, people will notice. At least he's getting better at lying. Lady Mac acquiesces. I wish someone would point out to her that murderers tend to go to jail longer than accessories-after-the-fact.
Palmer hangs up and immediately calls Brother Palmer, who is parked across the street from Lady Mac's house. Foxton is pacing outside the car, so it's clear that they aren't making out. Why does Brother Palmer have his own car? We know it's not Foxton's car, because we saw them leave that behind in the garage last week. Did Brother Palmer drive to Los Angeles from Washington, D.C.? And if not, why would he have bothered to rent a car in L.A.? I would think the Chief of Staff would get to ride in the Presidential motorcade. But whatever. The Brothers Palmer remind each other why Brother Palmer is there with Foxton, and Palmer promises to keep Lady Mac out of the house as long as possible. So I'm thinking ten minutes, max. He hangs up, ordering Brother Palmer to "Find it." So much for plausible deniability.
“ Saunders seems to twig to what Kiefer has in mind. Spawnders doesn't, so she has to ask why she's there. Kiefer says, 'Ask your father. It's up to him.' That's cold. Spawnders just says, 'Dad?' Way to remind me of Sofia Coppola at the end of Godfather III, there. ”
11:10:51. Kiefer leads Saunders, flanked by two agents, up the steps to Inn Fection. Less than two minutes ago they were still at the Sixth Street Bridge. Damn, did they travel by helicopter or slingshot? A large plastic umbilical has been set up at Inn Fection's entrance, and two gas-masked agents are standing guard. Hazmaticians are visible through the front window, as are dozens of covered bodies. Kiefer lectures Saunders, but Saunders has more gnomic excuses. I'm so tired of terrorists who spend more time hatching their evil schemes than thinking of why the schemes are necessary in the first place. Kiefer's not any more interested in Saunders's justifications than I am, and goes right into K3. Saunders isn't frightened at the thought of being put inside Inn Fection; he's prepared to die for his cause. Actually, Saunders, you'd be dying with your cause, since you're the only one who knows what you want. Via walkie-talkie, Kiefer gives an order to Special Agent Charlie Brown, who leads Spawnders out of the helicopter we just saw take off in the background less than a minute ago. It's back on the ground when they get out, drat the luck.
As they approach, Saunders seems to twig to what Kiefer has in mind. Spawnders doesn't, so she has to ask why she's there. Kiefer says, "Ask your father. It's up to him." That's cold. Spawnders just says, "Dad?" Way to remind me of Sofia Coppola at the end of Godfather III, there. K4 comes with the explicit threat of putting Spawnders into Inn Fection. Saunders is shaken, but he's denying that Kiefer will actually do it. Spawnders looks shocked and betrayed. She thought they were friends! K5. Saunders tells Kiefer he "can't do this. You're a government agent." Tell that to the guy whose head he put into a bowling bag last season. Kiefer orders Spawnders brought into the building. Special Agent Charlie Brown doesn't look too pleased at having to kill an innocent (if annoyingly passive) young woman, but he sucks it up and follows Kiefer's order with barely any hesitation. Spawnders struggles as Charlie Brown hands her off to the guards at the entrance, while Saunders struggles with his "conscience." The guards drag her into the plastic umbilical while alarms go off and disinfectant mist pours in. Kiefer says to Saunders, "Everything that happens to your daughter is because of you!" Saunders screams at Kiefer to get her out of there while Spawnders screams at Saunders. K6! K7! Kiefer grabs Saunders by the throat -- reaching up pretty high to do so -- and says, "When she's infected, I'm going to make you watch her die." He turns to watch the entrance; one of the guards has his hand on the door handle. Saunders caves, and Kiefer closes his eyes in relief before turning around to face Saunders again. K8 is pretty quiet. Saunders says that each of the vials is tagged with a GPS locator chip, so they can all be found in one episode without doing a lot of expensive location shooting. Or maybe he gives a different reason. All of the codes are in his head. Kiefer is surprised that he memorized all eleven. I think that would explain why he didn't have enough brain space left to think to get his daughter out of CTU's reach before he put his plan into motion. Kiefer orders Spawnders brought out of the tunnel. She's stopped screaming, but I don't think she and Kiefer are going to be friends anymore. It's 11:14:29.
11:18:42. Brother Palmer and Foxton stake out Lady Mac's crib; Palmer stands around, because it's not like the capture and full cooperation of the guy who had him by the scrotum a few hours ago is anything he needs to hear about; and Spawnders appears to have regained her composure, if by "composure" you mean "catatonia." CTU has set up a little workstation outside Inn Fection, including a computer that's tracking the signals coming from ten of the eleven vials. Kiefer wants to know why one signal is missing, but Saunders doesn't know either, since he handed over the right codes. The eleventh courier is in Los Angeles with instructions to release his vial o' virus in a public place. Kiefer dispatches some agents to escort Saunders (New! Improved! Now With 100% Cooperation!) to CTU so he can give a description to a sketch artist. Spawnders is to stay at Inn Fection lest he change his mind. Kiefer then gets Adam the Woman Hater on the blower to have him do a search on Wild Card. Kiefer then asks after Tony's replacement at CTU, and Adam tells Brad Hammond, who has just arrived at the office, that Kiefer's on the phone for him. Hammond jumps to answer it. Yeah, who's the real boss? Hammond's pretty much up to speed on what's been going on, and he reports that the coordinates of the ten known vials are being disseminated to law enforcement, National Health Service, and hazmat teams around the country, so Kiefer isn't going to have to fly all over and chase them down himself. Kiefer gives Hammond the skinny on the eleventh vial. Hammond asks if Kiefer thinks Saunders is telling the truth, and Kiefer says, "Right now he believes we're willing to kill his daughter if he doesn't cooperate." Kiefer, everyone believes that. Kiefer's got another item on his agenda: he wants Hammond to cut Soul Patch a little slack. Hammond refuses. Kiefer reminds us all what went on during the first half of Season One, and Hammond tells him the circumstances were different. Kiefer points out that "the outcome will be the same. We will prevail." Kiefer goes on about how the "operation began a year ago" and Gael gave his life and Kiefer became an addict, like, way to remind everyone of the earlier, suckier parts of the season, Kiefer. Hammond has had all the tongue-lashing he's prepared to take from a subordinate, and he hangs up the phone. He's kind of a hard-ass after all. Maybe we should call him Hammer.
“ Meanwhile, we're supposed to believe that Brother Palmer is torn between his duty to his brother and his feelings for Julia, but all I'm picking up on is his desire to wrap up the phone call so he can get down to breaking and entering. Or maybe he's just pained at seeing Gina Torres reduced to this kind of pathetic begging. I know I am. ”
It's 11:21:27, and the agents who arrested Soul Patch enter CTU and parade their prisoner through the office in handcuffs. Potato Face glares at him like a three-year-old told to make a "mad" face. Bitchelle watches through a half-open door, visibly aware that he put himself in this position to save her. Soul Patch gets led into a holding room and uncuffed, Hammer right behind him. Soul Patch asks to talk to Bitchelle, but Hammer refuses. I think that taking Kiefer's call a minute ago used up his entire hourly ration of agreeable. Hammer tells Soul Patch that someone named Plachecki is coming over to take his statement. Would that be the same Plachecki who was supposed to take Spawn's statement two hours ago but never showed up? Soul Patch might be in there a while. Hammer offers Soul Patch a lawyer, but Soul Patch says he did what he did. Hammer drops the bomb: what Soul Patch did is punishable by death. Treason's a bitch, don't you know. If Soul Patch has something against lawyers, he looks like he's prepared to get over it. Hammer lays it out for him: "You facilitated the escape of a man who was responsible for the death of Ryan Chappelle and almost a thousand civilians, and who was contemplating killing millions of others. Then you tried to neutralize the only leverage we had over him by giving him back his daughter." Well, when you put it like that, obviously it's going to look bad in the personnel file. Soul Patch asks for the bottom line and Hammer, glaring at Soul Patch in that "I'm the big, bad boss man doing you a big, bad favor" way, says that even with Hammer in his corner, Soul Patch's best-case scenario is twenty years in prison. I'd hate to see what would happen if Hammer was actually mad or something.
Brother Palmer and Foxton are still stewing in the car outside Lady Mac's beach house, commenting that she's taking her time leaving so she can keep the President waiting. It's 11:23:42. Brother Palmer's cell phone rings; it's Julia Milliken. Oh, Brother Palmer. When will you learn that caller ID is your friend? Julia is all in a tizzy because the police are coming to arrest her in her husband's death. The police are buying Lady Mac's story. I guess they'll believe whoever the President of the United States is backing up. Must be nice to live in that world. Foxton taps Brother Palmer on the arm and points at the house; Lady Mac is finally leaving. Meanwhile, we're supposed to believe that Brother Palmer is torn between his duty to his brother and his feelings for Julia, but all I'm picking up on is his desire to wrap up the phone call so he can get down to breaking and entering. Or maybe he's just pained at seeing Gina Torres reduced to this kind of pathetic begging. I know I am. By now, Lady Mac is out of sight and Foxton is outside the car, waiting for Brother Palmer. He finally hangs up and heads across the street with Foxton, jacket in hand. What, he's worried that the walk back to the car after ransacking his ex-sister-in-law's house is going to be nippy? We get a brief cut back to poor, hung-up-on Julia, clearly getting a terrible idea. Back at the house, Foxton is executing Brother Palmer's terrible idea, getting them through the front door with little difficulty. As they walk in, donning rubber gloves, Brother Palmer comments, "The Chief of Staff of the President of the United States, and I'm committing a burglary." Foxton deadpans, "It's an historic moment." Foxton is now my favorite character in this entire plot line. Brother Palmer tells Foxton that Lady Mac can never know they were there. Foxton assures him that she won't, as long as Brother Palmer does what he says. ["And as long as forensic evidence collection suddenly stops existing, becausewhatever." -- Sars] Brother Palmer tosses his jacket over a nearby chair and they get to work. I'm expecting him to eventually forget it there in a panicked departure, but I don't know the half of it.