Episode Report Card Jessica: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.05.2002
Cafeteria. Jen follows David and Jack to a table, yelping all the way that Jack and Pacey's apartment is just like the one in My Two Dads, mostly because of the spiral staircase. Girl, please. The apartment in My Two Dads looks like a crack den compared to Jack and Pacey's. They all sit down. David says that he doesn't know if Pacey and Jack are busily embroiled in "whose sperm is whose battle," but, if not, would Pacey like to go out that night? Jen's jaw drops, she's so impressed by David's honest approach. "The gays have it so easy! Straight boys are never so…straight," she twitters. I'm just pretending that line never happened. Anyway, blah blah blah, David and Jack decide to go with Jen to see The Worst Punk Band In The World at Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Jen speeds that maybe they should bring Blandy along with them! Jack makes a face like he sat on a tack, but David -- because he's straightforward, if not straight -- just up and tells Jen that Blandy doesn't really date. "What, does he just jump right into the sack?" Jen giggles. David looks sympathetic and explains that Blandy doesn't date at all. "His life is sort of complicated…I shouldn't really talk about it," he says discreetly. Jen presses him for information, saying that it "can't be that bad." Jack rolls his eyes. "Jen, stop using my friend as your Deep Throat, please," he asks. Jen and David both raise their brows at him, and he sputters that they need to forget he ever said that. Jen's about to go back to badgering David when Blandy himself approaches. Jen leaps up from the table and invites them to come to the bar with them. "It's Audrey," she tells him. "You know Audrey." Blandy looks over at the boys. "The one that's guaranteed to entertain," Jack clarifies. Blandly dryly indicates that he recalls. And he's in. Jen's about to perform a joyful cartwheel when she sees Professor Unambiguously Closeted walking through the crowd, looking for Jack, who promptly but politely excuses himself.
They go outside to talk. Professor Unambiguously Closeted apologizes for interrupting Jack's lunch, but Jack shrugs that he has plenty of time to eat. "So, class today. How about that?" Professor Unambiguously Closeted asks. Jack's only response is a quizzical look. Finally, Professor Unambiguously Closeted explains that he feels guilty about "taking away the college experience that [Jack] deserve[s]." What? How? By denying him the opportunity to bang his professor? Jack simply says that he plans to keep applying himself to his classes. Professor Unambiguously Closeted awkwardly exposits that the upcoming week is reading week, then finals, then he -- Professor Unambiguously Closeted -- is gone. And he'd like to see him at the book signing. Jack promises to think about it, and Professor Unambiguously Closeted runs away. Jack looks nonplussed. Reading week? I think we got a day at UCLA -- probably because we were on the quarter system and thus pressed for time. Of course, I probably would have spent reading week sleeping in and then waking up to bemoan how I wasn't supposed to oversleep. Actually, I sort of relived my college years today. My big plan was to wake up early, run some errands, do some cleaning, and knock off my recap. Instead, I slept until noon and watched television all afternoon. I actually found myself staring blankly into the refrigerator and announcing aloud, "I have so much work do to," before pouring a handful of Goldfish into my mouth. It's like November 1996 all over again. Thank God we didn't have the kind of easy access to the internet then that I do now. I never would have gotten any work done. Checking your email is a much less convenient procrastination tool when you have to walk to the computer lab to do it.