Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "No Crimes, Real Peeps, Saddle Up"
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.04.2008
Wilhelmina Slater, what are you doing? Hiding in a closet while Marc shadows Connor and reports back to her. Wili whine-reminds us about how she ("that remarkably well-preserved EIC") tried to bone him in Florida last week, and actually admits that she feels stupid and silly about it. Marc advises her to talk to him, and that's not going to be happening, and then gives her the whole Eagle Eye about "Go! Now, go!" and but then it turns around on them and Wili's stuck, so she strikes a weird non-casual pose and fully goes, "Top o' the morning to ya!" They are both horrified beyond belief.
Cut to Wili screaming bloody murder about WTF and Marc's like, "You should hear some of the things that come out of my mouth when I'm around him!" They talk about how perfect and totally awesome and ruthless and smart and business-minded and impeccable and large-handed he is for a good long while, and then Christina comes wobbling pointlessly in with her demon-bearing womb. Normally I would boo and hiss at her, but the slobbery Connor lovefest was getting a little weird, so it's like the suckiness becomes homeopathic and awful Christina is the iceberg that stops the boat from going where the dragons are. Why's she there? Why's she ever there is a more appropriate question.
In this specific case Christina exists to make Wili feel guilty about ignoring her stupid baby in its stupid Scottish baby-carrying device throughout the episode, starting now. The point is Wili's awesome response to Christina's request to come to her latest doctor's appointment: "Christina, I've got a lot on my mind at the moment. And one of the reasons I hired you as my surrogate was for the fierce independence of the Scottish people. Your entire country would be insulted if I held your hand at the doctor's office. You're our Braveheart." Marc unnecessarily chimes in with "Our Braveuterus." Connor comes in to ask for Wili's company at a Ralph Lauren marketing presentation, but she babbles and babbles and babbles (babbles, I'm saying, like you never saw Wili babble) and eventually thrusts Christina at him like a crucifix, saying she has to go to the appointment with her surrogate. Marc giggles insanely at all the single nontendres ("It'd be great if we could do it together," "I'll fill you in when I get back") and just as you're thinking maybe it's best that Marc isn't so much in this episode, because he pretty much sucks this week, Wili blows your mind by striking another weird pose and "casually" calling Connor "Mate." As in "g'day." Again, everyone is horrified.