Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "No Crimes, Real Peeps, Saddle Up"
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.04.2008
"I couldn't help but notice you looking at us -- and by us I mean me." They act all creepy and sketchy, and ask if the girls are enjoying the art. "Well, I wasn't... Until I spotted the two best-looking pieces here!" Betty does a great abnegation of this train of thought, all, "Okay, we out," but Amanda jerks her back in line. Betty admits to the Euros that she likes this one piece, and the guy is like, "What a coincidence! I just buy this one!" (Translation: "I will leave your raped corpse in Central Park to be discovered by joggers.") They talk about going to dinner, and Betty tries desperately to find a way this is evil, so Amanda pulls her off to the side for yet another talking-to. Betty points out that they are obviously serial killers, and Amanda goes all purring and awesome: "Betty, if we're gonna write this article, we have to live it. That means everything: Fun, art, fashion, sex." Betty says there isn't going to be any of the latter, and Amanda whispers, "Isn't there?" again. It's again awesome. She big-sister guilts Betty about how they're partners and Betty is a writer and they have to work together, and Betty's like, "Fine. Let's grip it and rip it." Amanda is appalled.
Och. The sound of clinking ice cubes, It's like a Scottish lullaby!" Wili toasts the bundle of whatever, and Christina calls bullshit finally. "You haven't even given a second's thought to raising this baby, other than its stake in the Meade empire." Christina, and didn't we always kind of know this, is one of the people who acts just as drunk as the people she's with, even sober. She points around Wili's living room at all the dangerous pointy electrocutey things: "Dead baby! Dead baby! Dead baby!" They talk about whether Wili even wants the baby, and she points out how Wili didn't even want to go to the appointment until Connor showed up and she commenced acting weird and dumb. Because it's Christina it takes twice as long as a normal person, but she eventually figures out that Wili has a crush on him.
Wili launches into another iteration of the Why Connor Is Perfect For Me speech, and ends on a sad note: "I finally meet the perfect man, and I can't have him. I may as well just resign myself to never having a man around." (Also sad: Wili says for the first of multiple times that her real fear about the Meade Child is how bad she fucked up her daughter, and how she doesn't want to make the same mistake twice.) Christina says now is not the time to swearing off men, because the baby is a boy. Wili feels a sudden happiness as the baby turns real inside her mind, but clamps down on that shit faster than you can say "family history of arson."