Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chris-Mas
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 08.02.1998
Em City. Rebadow tells Hill that Ryan is coming back that day, and that he heard Ryan had cancer. They look up, and are surprised to see Sinead O'Connor walking toward them. Oh, my bad -- it's Ryan. Well, he does have that girlish figure. Everyone stares at him like he's The Creature From The Black Lagoon, like they've never seen a shaved head. In Oz. Lord. Although if he was afraid of showing weakness, I'm not sure why he chose to make his return to Em City looking like a refugee. He could have waited a day or two before going bald. Anyway, Ryan makes it to his pod, kicks Kirk out, and spews in the toilet. Peas for lunch, I see.
Ryan tells Schibetta he wants to work in the kitchen again. He tells Ryan to forget it, and Pancamo calls him "Cancer Boy." They walk off like he just told the funniest joke in the world. Stick to facial expressions, Chuckie. Some skinhead asks Ryan if he's trying to look like his bunch. Ryan: "Yeah, I'm trying to be uglier." It's not working. Skinhead asks Ryan what's wrong with him, and that he heard it was cancer of the balls, and that the doctor cut them off. Ryan and Adebisi exchange a "long time no see, lover" look during this. Skinhead goes on that what he heard can't be true, as Ryan never had any balls to begin with. Ryan decks him. Mayhem ensues, and the hacks drag Ryan off, to...
...McManus's office. McManus threatens Ryan, who's sporting a nasty gash on his head, with the Hole. McManus, for once you've got my full attention. Ryan's all, bring it on, but unfortunately, McManus says that in his current condition, he might catch something and die, and as much of a gyp as that is, he's probably right. By the way, Gloria is there as well, looking concerned for her boyfriend. She puts her hand on one of his wrists (which are cuffed, by the way) and tells him that he's got six weeks of chemo left, and she and McManus decided it would be best if he spent them in the ward. That conversation probably went something like this:
Gloria: Tim, I know you and I went on like, one date, but I know you'll give me anything I want, and I get the vapors when I'm within 50 feet of Ryan O'Reily, so do you think you could leave him in the ward for several more weeks?
McManus: Certainly, Gloria. You're quite right that I can't deny a female staff member that I've dated anything. Well, except Officer Claire, but she'll be the exception that proves the rule. How about a kiss to seal the deal?
Gloria: You're disgusting.
McManus: I love it when you debase me.