Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chris-Mas
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 08.02.1998
No-Nonsense Judge enters Glynn's office, where a handcuffed Beecher is waiting. She thanks him for seeing her. Beecher: "Well, you know, it's a nice break from getting fucked up the ass." Okay, forget the beard. You win. The judge isn't fazed, and gets down to business: She tells Beecher that she's been a judge for sixteen years, and in that time only one decision she's made on the bench has ever haunted her: the one involving him. She goes on that she always prided herself on being fair, on administering justice blindly, but in his case, the fact that he killed a little girl, was a member of the bar, had had a prior arrest for drunk driving, and the utter senselessness of the crime conspired to make her quick-tempered and spiteful. Beecher looks like this speech is getting to him in spite of himself. She admits that she may not have given him a fair trial, and that she now thinks the punishment she meted out exceeded the crime. Just as a sidebar here, if she was so obviously biased, shouldn't Beecher have appealed? I'm no lawyer, but in my understanding, appeals are designed to correct errors of law, and if she misapplied the law, wouldn't he have had grounds? Anyway, she starts to stammer an apology, but Beecher laughs sardonically and notes that she used all her judicial power to crush him, but in the end, he did kill a little girl, and he doesn't know whether the punishment is fair or unfair. He rants that the man he was no longer exists, and that he can't forgive her, no more than the girl he killed can forgive him. He stands and turns to McManus, and snarks, "Yeah, this was very therapeutic, thanks." Which just goes to show that even when you're telling off your mortal enemy, there's always time to insult old Timbo. Beecher leaves, and No-Nonsense Judge breathes, "I'm sorry."
Beecher has a nightmare involving No-Nonsense Judge and Kathy Rockwell (the girl he killed) and eventually flashes back to the accident, only this time when his younger self looks at the windshield, it's his present self lying on it. Beecher wakes up with a yell, which, uh, arouses Keller as well. Keller tries to touch Beecher comfortingly, but Beecher swats him away, calling him a "fucking faggot." That's no way to talk to your future boyfriend, Toby. Oh, by the way, Keller's shirtless here. Yeah.
And if you liked that, the next shot is a naked Keller in the shower. Yeah, I'm thinking they knew what they were doing with this character from Day One. Beecher joins Keller in the shower. Not like that. Well, not yet, anyway. Beecher apologizes for calling Keller a faggot, which is interesting timing, considering that Keller is clearly checking him out. Keller easily tells him to forget it, and reiterates that he owes Beecher. He goes on that they should stick together, as they're not part of any of the main groups in Oz. Keller says that they're out there with their "dicks swinging in the wind," and by this time he's moved so close that, were that literally true, they'd be butting heads, if you take my meaning. Keller says they should trust each other. Beecher says it's hard for him to trust anyone, and Keller says it is for him too, but they should see what happens. Beecher agrees. Beecher, run while you still can! And I mean that quite literally!