Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Papa Was A Rollin' Stone...
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.25.2005
Alicia throws open the door of Mars Investigations and stares at Keith. I hope he's hungry, because from the look on her face, it might be time to start thinking about what would make the perfect last meal. Alicia says she'll take the papers, thank you VERY much, and Keith regretfully hands them over while asking why Alicia didn't tell him Woods was a cop. Alicia says she was trying to protect her son: "I was young and scared and Nathan Woods was scary, violent, and high." Keith doesn't doubt that assessment, but thinks Alicia should have warned Wallace. Alicia: "You are giving me parenting advice?" And that just goes to show that there's no statement so provocative that the judicious use of italics can't make even worse. Keith wonders what the hell that's supposed to mean, but Alicia bites out that she protected Wallace's childhood instead of selling it out: "I will not invite chaos into my house." Sorry, Alicia, but that defense only works with vampires. (C'mon -- I'm warming up here for an imminent guest-star appearance.) Keith points out that Alicia only succeeded in postponing the chaos, which causes Alicia to take her leave as Keith processes the fight. Harrowing scene, but you might have improved everyone's mood if you'd cracked a window, Keith. When you're with your significant other, you don't want there to be any reason for her to think of a word with "dump" in it.
Sac-n-Pac. Woods finds Wallace, who launches into a rather melodious rendition of "Papa Was A Rolling Stone." Hey, Percy Daggs can really sing! And that's not the only hidden talent he's revealing this episode! (No, I'm kidding, but really, his acting has come a long way in a year.) Woods says he's not there to defend himself, and that, in truth, he doesn't remember much about those days. I guess he remembered not to tell anyone in the clink he was a cop, based on the fact that he's still alive and all. Wallace asks why it took so long for Woods to try to find him, but Woods says he did in fact try, for years. He couldn't get Alicia's mom to tell him where she was, but she did tell him Alicia was pregnant (like, thanks, Mom), and she promised to pass along his letters. He hands Wallace a bunch of said letters, which are all addressed to "Wallace Woods" and marked "Return To Sender." Wallace says that Alicia told him she offered Woods a choice between his job and his family, and Woods counters that if such a choice had been presented, he would have chosen Wallace. Of course, he was so high at the time that he couldn't have told Alicia and Nell Carter apart, so maybe Wallace should take his words with just a grain or two of salt.