Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Papa Was A Rollin' Stone...
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.25.2005
In another homeroom class, Corny -- sitting behind Logan, who is in turn behind Jackie -- nominates Veronica, causing that 09er bizzotch Ashley to say that her ass would make a better Homecoming Queen. You'd think her parents' infidelity and divorce would have made her wit a little sharper. Corny stoner-dorks that Veronica is "smokin' hot," and Mandy pipes up, "Remember when she helped me find my dog?" I do, in fact, but that could have something to do with the fact that I wrote approximately ten thousand words about it. Mandy goes on to remind us that Veronica found Polly the Parrot as well, and from her tone and demeanor, I think the perception of Veronica as "smokin' hot" has officially crossed gender lines. A snarky comment from Logan does nothing to derail the Mandy Loves Veronica Train, as she tells Jackie that if Jackie ever needs any help, she should ask Veronica. Jackie laughs, all, "I'll keep that in mind," proving that, given later events, sarcasm is the mother of invention. Is there anything it can't do?
Outside, Wallace is sulking at a table when Jackie appears with another girl and fairly good-naturedly bitches about all the things you can't do at the Homecoming Dance. Her rather pretty friend says that the afterparty is really the point, and Jackie gushes that she's actually looking forward to the whole affair, but when she tries to get Wallace's attention, he bails to talk to Veronica. Jackie's friend babbles on about clothes, which is really all you can do when your friend is giving her boyfriend the Manson Lamps. We cut away before we get to see if gabbing about fashion can outlast seething hatred. And I was kind of curious, myself.
Veronica is repeating back the news that Wallace's "bio-dad" is some sort of "Donnie Brasco renegade cop." If that's the case, Wallace, make sure you never ask him to take off his shoes. Wallace asks Veronica to keep the information to herself just as Jackie appears, her death rays giving us an answer to our question. I wonder if her friend ran out of outlet stores to talk about and finally disintegrated into a fine powder. Jackie faux-happily asks if they're planning her surprise party. Veronica greets her evenly, but Jackie storms away, and Wallace runs after her to "take care of that." I hope you "took care" not to spend that two hundred bucks in one place, Wallace.