Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | 5 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Papa Was A Rollin' Stone...
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.25.2005
Mars Investigations. Veronica enters to find some foul-smelling posters of Keith's, and Keith informs her that they were found in a dumpster downtown. Veronica: "At least Lamb has the sense not to use the dumpster behind the sheriff's department." Well, he probably wanted to go someplace with some cover. Being caught pissing into a dumpster would have been counterproductive for the election effort, and I'm sure Lamb is self-aware enough to know he wouldn't be able to resist. Keith crows about the twelve-point lead he has in the polls; with that kind of margin, it sounds like the result of the election is the most foregone conclusion since Dewey defeated Truman. Keith adds that he doesn't need to roll around in the mud with Lamb. And here I thought they cared about ratings. Veronica wonders if Keith needs a photographer from the Neptune Navigator who knows how to shoot his good side. Keith: "I got nothing but good sides, baby!" That's what the spoiler whores for this show say, too.
Jackie's getting a reading at a psychic's. The woman tells Jackie that Jackie's grandmother wants to remind her that she's a risk-taker: "If it feels good, do it." Sounds like Grandma had a good time at the Homecoming afterparties too, and Jackie's statement that Grandma was married four times adds credibility to that conclusion.
Cut to the psychic telling Jackie her card's been declined. This may be the dumb question, but shouldn't she have known that was going to happen? Jackie gives what looks like an ironic smile here...
...and then Jackie walks into the girls' bathroom at school and finds Veronica, who offers her some lip balm. Given that Jackie's about to kiss up, it looks like Veronica's the one with ESP. Jackie says she's in some trouble, and Wallace said Veronica might help. Veronica turns with a look of disbelief, but the question of whether it's more at the request itself or at Wallace's signing off on it will have to wait until after the opening credits.
We pick up where we left off: Jackie explains that someone stole her card and maxed it out, and while she already called the company and explained that the charges weren't hers, she's wondering if her friend "Cora" (the girl from earlier) might have done it; she borrows Jackie's stuff all the time. Veronica asks if Jackie wants Veronica to prove that Cora did it. Jackie: "No. I want you to prove that she didn't. She's the only friend that I have here." Well, Mandy's probably available, and she could sure use the benefits of having access to a different wardrobe. Jackie produces a printout of the charges, which include a $1200 leather jacket from Nordstrom and $500 for vanilla-scented candles. Oy. There's setting a mood, and there's just nauseating your date, and if you're going for the latter, why spend five hundred bucks when you could just bring up the fact that Tom Cruise and Donald Trump have each procreated? Jackie says that Cora, if she stole the card, hit every store in the Galleria. Veronica: "Except for Unicornucopia!" What's with all the mention of unicorns lately? I get enough of animals on this show already with all the pit bulls and red herrings. Veronica notices a charge to "Consolidated Elemental Industries," and asks Jackie if she knows what that is; she doesn't. Jackie asks where Veronica will start, and Veronica tells her that she'll check to see if Cora has any of the items on the list.