Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Incestual Healing
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.15.2004
Ruthie meets up with Matt. They link arms and proceed with their night.
Silly Asslee was trying to read again, and her lack of the collective brainpower required for such an activity has rendered her unconscious. Martin walks in through her open window and wakes her up. She asks what all the sneaking around is for; he says that where they're going, she won't be home in time for curfew. He says that the only rule is that she can't ask any questions, and "can [she] live with that?" Whatever drama was supposed to be created with that question is completely nullified by Asslee's response of a blank stare devoid of any signs of life.
Vic and Paris are dining at a restaurant that isn't Pete's Pizza or the pool hall. The waiter offers Vic a wine list; Vic says that he doesn't want to see it because he's an alcoholic, as if the waiter should have somehow known this and was incredibly rude to ask. The waiter asks if Vic would like a soda instead; Vic tells him that he would really like it if the waiter left him alone. Someone's food is getting spit in, peed on, and possibly worse, tonight! It kind of sucks that the one character this show manages to write with an actual personality, played by someone who can actually infuse this personality into the character, has to be an asshole.
"Flicks" is playing a movie called Solitude. That's a strange name for a cartoon from the thirties. Matt and Ruthie walk along the Promenade. You know, if Matt doesn't want anyone to know he's in town, maybe he shouldn't walk in its busiest area on a Saturday night. He also shouldn't wear a coat with sleeves that are way too long for him. If he's so poor that he can't buy a coat the fits properly, then why did he just spend the money to fly home for the weekend? And don't tell me that he got the ticket free through Mary; Mary has already used about ten free tickets this year, and I doubt she gets any more than that. Ruthie gives him the update on what his family knows about him being in town and how they're bothering the Glasses. Matt wonders why it's too much to hope for that he can slip in and out of town without having to answer a ton of questions. Ruthie says it's because their family is nosy as hell. They decide to spend the night having dinner and watching a movie. Then they hug and walk to the ticket counter, arm in arm.
At least they don't spend their Saturday nights like the Glasses, who seem to be involved some weird Jewish ritual that involves standing in front of your front door, but facing away from it, and not speaking. Maybe they're celebrating poor-directionukah? Oh, I shouldn't knock Aunt Julie; after all, she did manage to keep this episode devoid of any Cheesy Phone Conversation Split Screens. RevCam and Lucy ring their doorbell about seventy times to interrupt. "Oh! You're home!" Lucy says when they answer, sounding surprised, although, if she thought they weren't home, why did she even come to their house? "Don't you want to invite us in?" RevCam says. "Nah!" says Richard. Ha! If Richard keeps saying stuff like that and appearing on Curb Your Enthusiasm, my hatred for him may get bumped back up to mere intense dislike. Lucy cuts to the chase: they know Matt's in town, and they know he's staying with them. They just want to know why he's here, and if he's in any trouble. Richard says they can't offer them any information, just kugel and coffee. Because we Jews always have a ready supply of freaking kugel to offer any surprise guests. Richard suggests that they talk to Matt if they want information. Lucy says they'll wait and do that, then. "I think you should wait," Conehead says, apparently just a few critical seconds behind in the conversation. Lucy asks about the kugel. Richard is surprised that she knows anything about kugel. Considering that Lucy's mother once basically pissed on the Glasses' kosher diets by sneaking cream into her kugel and then serving it to them, I don't think that Richard is being unreasonable here. It turns out that Lucy just accepted the invitation because it came with the promise of MORE COFFEE! "Just come in and eat what we serve you," says Richard. Here's hoping it's poison!
Asslee and Martin walk around in the dark. "Where are we going?" Asslee whines. Martin reminds her that she promised not to ask any questions. "Right. No questions. Why did you invite me to come with you tonight?" God, Asslee, you are so freaking dumb. Why don't you just go ahead and ask if this is chicken, what you have, or is it fish, and get it over with. Martin says he wants to share something with her that he has never shared with anyone else. They're gonna do it!