Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rory Bores People
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.21.2003
Lorelai pouts over to the couch. "Dating's the worst," offers the recent divorcé. Lorelai says they're sitting on the same side of the table, and the conversation's going nowhere. I'd like to point out that Luke and Lorelai are sitting side by side here, and Luke's having to crane his neck to see Lorelai. Against all Lorelai logic, she says that she's just got to throw Rory out there and let her learn on her own and fend for herself. Luke says that Rory could say there's a draft where she's sitting, so she has to move to the other side of the table. Of course Lorelai calls Rory right away to help her learn things on her own. Luckily Trevor's busy making some poo mints, and isn't back yet. Lorelai then tells Rory what to ask Trevor to keep him talking (what his siblings names are -- and for some reason the one-word answer is enough for Rory). Rory thanks Luke and Lorelai for the help. Lorelai tells Luke she feels better. Luke says he wouldn't trade places with Rory right now. Lorelai says he might want to wait to see Trevor's picture before he makes that decision. Luke says that dating is a horror. Lorelai says they could order a spouse off the internet. Luke says he misses nothing by not dating, and if he hadn't dated, then he would be single right now instead of divorced. He doesn't say that, but it's true. He says if he had dated, the only difference between where he's sitting right now is that he'd have had a lot more bad nights at Tony Roma's. Lorelai says that dating is how you figure out who your best partner should be, how you learn about who you want in life. Luke says he can tell in his gut in seconds. I feel it here, he says, pointing somewhere between his gut and his crotch. Luke says he felt it with Rachel and with Nicole, and he trusts his gut. Yes, because those two ladies gave you some long-lasting relationships, huh? Neither of them bailed on you. Luke says that knowing someone will let you be is a gut thing, and very relaxing. Lorelai complains that Luke is fast-forwarding the movie. He says they won't get through it, so he just wants to get to the good parts. Lorelai complains that there are no bad parts in the movie. She pouts, and gets up to grab dessert.
The phone rings again. This time Luke answers it. It's Emily, who's a little confused that a man answered Lorelai's phone. Luke explains who he is, reminding Emily that they've met before. Lorelai begins frantically waving her arms, running back into the living room, and Luke tries to say that he's not supposed to be on the phone right now. Lorelai asks why he answered the phone. Emily listens as Luke says that Lorelai answered the phone for Rory. Lorelai says that Luke should have told Emily she wasn't there. Luke says there's no reason he'd be there without her. "Light maintenance!" Luke says that Lorelai needs to take the phone and talk to Emily, since she's broken all of the Movie Night rules. Lorelai says that dodging her mother's phone calls is an always rule. Man, poor Emily. Emily wants to know why Lorelai told Traci Lords not to speak with her. She called about doing another room, and Traci Lords blew her off, saying she'd made Lorelai certain promises. Lorelai says she never told Traci Lords not to work for her, but there was an agreement. Emily asks for a list of people that she's not allowed to talk to, so she doesn't accidentally call one again. She asks if she's still allowed to talk to her husband. Lorelai says she has no problems letting Traci Lords go so she can work for Emily. But Emily doesn't want to be responsible for Traci Lords losing a job, so she doesn't want her. "No, Lorelai. You keep her and I promise I'll never speak to her. Ever." She swears if she sees Traci Lords bleeding on the side of the road, she'll just drive by. Lorelai says she's firing Traci Lords, but Emily says that's up to Lorelai. "Consider it done," Lorelai says. "I'll see you Friday," Emily says. Man, Lorelai. She pouts back to Luke's side. They watch a little Casablanca. I try not to fall asleep.