Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Rory Bores People
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.21.2003
The strummy-strummy is in overdrive as Rory winds her way through the very fancy cafeteria. She's wearing a robe over her pajamas. How many robes does this girl get? Ah, now this is a moment I can relate to. I was always getting in right before mealtime expired, and the kitchen was always an empty wasteland. No cereal. No bagels. No fruit. Just wheat toast and milk. But I never did what Rory just did -- take uneaten food off of a tray that's about to be thrown away. Man, girl. Get a muffin at a kiosk, baby. Rory calms down when she's got the last waffle in her Styrofoam (Rory hates the earth) container, but once again is upset to find out that the coffee urn is dry. Enter Marty, who appears to have been held just off-screen by the elbows and then released as Rory turns around. He's panting for some reason. It's exactly how CuteDean used to run up to Rory and say her name to her face. I miss CuteDean. I wonder where he went on his honeymoon. Marty is surprised that Rory remembers him, but Rory says she wasn't the one passed out in the hallway, so she had a better chance at remembering. Hey, Marty. Why don't you return Rory's clothes? Marty asks if Rory would like some eggs, as he always takes enough food for ten (thanks, Marty, for starving us late sleepers with your greedy ways), because he grew up with a brother who always took the biggest piece of chicken. Rory incorrectly assumes that Marty then had no chicken at all, but the fact is Marty just always wanted the biggest piece as well. Then before Rory can duck out, Marty wants to introduce her to "The Breakfast Crew." Rory tries to say no, but Marty drags her by the arm, explaining that they're a group who decided to start eating breakfast together, and then they sort of decided they needed a name, but for some reason they don't call themselves The Breakfast Club. Marty says the club isn't official yet, since they don't have hats, not until they can decide on a color.
Rory has been pulled to the Geek Table, a very dangerous place to get sucked into for meals. Okay, I don't really know if they're geeks. One of them is really cute. But then again, I'm a geekophile. Anyway, the boys already know who Rory is, because of the robe. They compliment both the robe and the nice thing that Rory did giving it to him. The cute geek, who looks really familiar, wears a t-shirt that my sister had when we were in high school ten years ago, a fractal design. Y'all, I know what fractals are, and I know that boy's wearing them. That means I've overgeeked right here in front of you. If I didn't have a cool boyfriend, I'd be laying claim to that fictional fractal geek right here and now. But as it stands, my non-geek boyfriend, who doesn't understand any geekiness I adore past Weezer, might disapprove. Wait. He never reads these recaps. Y'all back off my new imaginary geek boyfriend. I'll name him Smitty. My new boyfriend jokes that they all took turns trying on Rory's robe, and the other geeks chortle appropriately. Marty says that it's not true, and apologizes for not giving Rory back her robe yet. One of the geeks, not my Smitty, then leans over and guffaws about Rory's bunny slippers. Social skillz, these boys are lacking. Rory says it was nice meeting them, and excuses herself. Marty follows her, saying, "I embarrassed you," like one of those characters who's from the past or the future who is just now understanding how the world works, who came from a simpler society. The geeks keep staring at Rory as she walks away. Marty explains that he has been too nervous to approach Rory since that night, since he embarrassed himself, but now that he sees Rory in her pajamas, she's much more approachable. Now that she's embarrassed herself publicly, they're on a level playing field. Run away, Rory. This Marty kid is going to continually say things that kind of piss you off and insult you, thinly veiled as compliments, forever. Just leave now while you still feel good about your hair, your nails, and your studying habits. Marty leaves (thanks for the EGGS!), and Rory carries her dry, sad waffle back to her room.