Episode Report Card Jessica: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fake Plastic Snow
By Jessica | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.29.2006
At home, Betty is freaking out to Hilda about her Sexy Henry dream. Hilda tells her to chill. She once had a hot dream about "the pimply guy who owns the Bakery on 85th," and that it didn't mean anything. So true. Just last night, I dreamed that I was dating Evil Dr. Will Kirby, and it totally doesn't mean that I'm hot for -- oh, except for how it totally does. ["Dude, you could totally do worse." -- Wing Chun] Betty rightly points out that there's a big difference between dreaming about Henry and dreaming about the grody bakery guy -- namely that Henry is hot, and that Betty went out with him once. Hilda, very firmly, tells Betty just to go to the Pro Buy office holiday party with Walter -- doesn't that sound like a kick? -- and forget about her dreams of making out with handsome, charming, smart Henry. As long as Betty doesn't jump Henry's bones, having hot sex dreams about him is totally harmless: "Avoid this Henry person and everything will be fine." Then she starts screaming at Justin to hurry it up.
Enter Ignacio, who is magically not in prison, despite having been dragged off by INS last week. He notes that Hilda has "the vocal cords of a large cat." "I HEARD THAT," she yells from the foyer. "And the ears of whatever animal hears best," Ignacio adds. "A dolphin. It's just something I know," Betty tells him. She then gasps and clasps her hand over her mouth, disgusted with herself for quoting her hot sex dream to her father, as well she should be. Finally, we get some exposition about the Immigration Situation: Ignacio has been assigned to some program called ISAP. They're sending over a case worker next month, so we can all forget about it for the rest of the episode and concentrate on how cute America Ferrera and Chris Gorham are together.
There's a crash and a scream outside. Justin runs into the kitchen, breathlessly reporting, "Accident! Mom. Gina. Christmas tree." Justin has literally grown two or three inches since last week. Hilda and Gina tumble into the house, yelling at each other. Gina claims that Hilda ran over her Christmas tree, and Hilda retorts that she was aiming for Gina. Betty covers Justin's ears as the ladies continue to bicker and threaten each other with grievous violence, until Hilda tosses Gina out bodily. "Oops," says Hilda cheerfully to her family cheerfully, shrugging.
Mode. Wil is doing her holiday decorating, polishing a very chic menorah, which is sitting next to some Jesus-y paraphernalia. Marc swings in with bagels, and wonders if Nico is coming home for Christmas. Wil explains that Nico is spending the holiday with her father, in Dubai. I hope her father is some kind of Sultan. Do they have Sultans in Dubai? Maybe I'm thinking about Brunei. Oh, what does it matter? This show is hardly harsh realism. "Besides, you know Christmas mornings for me are all about martinis and Valium," says Wil, as Marc takes a big bite of bagel. "Yum!" he says. "You KNOW I always eat that one," Wil reprimands him harshly. Marc silkily comments that he thought they were sharing everything, now that he knows about Fey, to whom he refers as "our mysterious friend." Wil is appropriately chastened and says, "That's right."