Episode Report Card Jessica: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fake Plastic Snow
By Jessica | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.29.2006
Elsewhere at the party, Christina drags Santa into the ladies' room to do it. I hope THEY have condoms. And I am happy to tell you that that is the last of Christina that we see this week. That is about as much Christina as I can take, and I'm not even sure why: I don't dislike the actress at all. I do think that I like Marc and Amanda so much that Christina is kind of superfluous, especially now that Betty and Amanda are sort of friendly, and because it's not like Christina is really all that helpful. Shortly after Christina disappears into the bathroom, Marc comes racing out, gagging: "I thought it was bad enough watching Santa come down the chimney." It sounds dirty, but doesn't make a ton of sense when you think about it. Not only is Marc scarred by Santa Sex, but Wil and Hitman have found him. "Well, hello there," says Wil. She seems very serious and angry, and tells Marc she's been looking for him everywhere: "Will you please come with us?" DUM DUM DUM. "Love to," gulps Marc, and takes a huge swig of his booze.
Back in Daniel's office, Erin Underwear is basically trying to seduce him, all talking about, you know, her underwear and stuff. Betty isn't there to save him, either -- she's cutting a rug out on the dance floor. She looks over and sees Erin plant one on Daniel. She's horrified, but Amanda pops up and races in there to save the day: "Daniel! ARGH! ARGH! DANIEL! I NEED YOU, THERE'S A FIRE IN-- oh, screw it. Just stop kissing that tramp. You are practically engaged." Daniel kind of ignores her, but looks down at his hands. "Dry as a bone," he says to himself, and then tells Erin she's beautiful (Erin: "I know"), but that he's in love with someone else. "Her?" Erin asks, nodding at Amanda. "Because I'm sure the three of us could, uh, work something out." Amanda? Intrigued. But out of luck. "Not her," says Daniel. Betty watches all of this with interest. Erin Underwear storms out.
Queens. Hilda, wearing sunglasses, brings in a still-lit reindeer head. "I am so good," she says, removing the glasses. In the living room, Ignacio and Justin are wrapping gifts. Justin eyes the reindeer head apprehensively as Ignacio reminds Hilda that Gina's parents are off on a cruise to Alaska and that she's all alone for the holidays. Maybe Hilda could give Gina a break? Hilda scoffs, and the power goes off. Outside, someone screams. The head, amusingly, is still turned on. "Santa?" asks Justin.
But it's actually Gina, who's sitting on the Suarez front stoop, all their Christmas lights wrapped all around her body. "Well, if it isn't the bitch who stole Christmas," Hilda says, and smacks her. Gina whines that she thinks her leg is broken, and Hilda tries to help her up, but somehow ends up sitting next to her. "Why does it always have to be such a competition with you, Gina?" she sighs. Gina reminds Hilda that it's been this way ever since Hilda stole her "Electric Youth" routine and won Miss Junior Teen Queen. Well, I would still be pissed about that, too. "I can never win with you," Gina concludes. Hilda sasses that she should stop trying, but is overcome by a wave of Christmas spirit and invites her in for nog. Gina sort of nods, and then she totally lights up as the power comes back on. I mean, she literally lights up. Not her face. "It's a Christmas miracle!" Justin cries from inside.