Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There's No "I" in Kiefer -- Oh, Wait.
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.14.2006
At CTU, Audrey reports to Buchanan that the DoD is still giving the all-clear to airspace over Not Camp David. As they watch the live coverage of the descent of the Russian president's helicopter, Buchanan also gets Spencer to confirm that their agents on the ground are also noticing nothing amiss. "But if they're going to attack the helicopter, it's going to be now," Spencer adds.
In other splitscreen windows, the helicopter positions itself over the landing pad, Logan stands on the lawn watching the landing, and The Man watches the news. Buchanan, Audrey, and Spencer are also riveted to the coverage on the CTU big screen, and how reassuring to know that when terrorists strike on our soil, the government's elite counter-terrorism experts will be watching it on a fake cable news channel. Here's where we get our first good look at the helicopter, revealing that Logan has made the Russian president ride in Marine One to get there. That's a nice touch right there on Logan's part. He may be overly concerned with PR, but at least he's good at it. Everyone watches and waits for the helicopter to blow up or something. But instead, the door opens, the stairs come out, and a Marine in dress blues descends the steps to the grass. He's immediately followed by the Russian delegation, which consists of the Russian president, the Russian president's wife, and the Russian president's forehead. They walk across the lawn and shake hands with Logan, completely without incident. "Our intel must have been wrong," Buchanan tells Audrey. Audrey just looks at him, like, Way to jinx it, there, buttmunch.
In his video sanctum, The Man watches, satisfied.
It's 8:57:42 as Diane and Derek are in their car, on the road to leave the airport. A crossing guard stops them, which gives Derek time to notice that black panel truck parked in front of the terminal. As he watches, the back door pops open, disgorging its payload of duffel-bag-bearing longhairs and Bald Guy 2.0. "Do you see those men?" Derek asks. "That's where Jack went." Oh, so an hour and a half with an ex-CTU guy and he's suddenly Derek Huxley, Boy Super-Agent?
Inside the terminal, the longhairs stride in and take up position in a way that even a Boy Super-Agent can tell is rather sinister. In fact, while I was watching this, even my soda was like, "Dude, that's not good." Derek Huxley, Boy Super-Agent realizes, "Something's wrong. I have to warn Jack." And he hops out of the car and starts running towards the terminal. Um, if you want to warn Kiefer, how about asking mom to hit "redial" on her cell instead of running towards the heavily armed Eurotrash? Worst Boy Super-Agent ever. Diane gets out and tries to give chase, but the crossing guard won't let her leave her car there. She panics, whinily.