Episode Report Card Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Stars shining bright above you
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.03.1998
[72virg=ins]. Piper is following my earlier advice and attempting to sabotage the small talk with Jack. Unfortunately, because of the spell, nothing she brings up -- not her susceptibility for hives, not her numerous ulcers, not her naughty tattoo -- deters him. I shall offer another tip to you, gentle reader, this one on appropriate topics of conversation for the purposes of sabotaging small talk: Cultivate a keen interest in either serial killers or disasters, both natural and man-made. At an opportune moment, discuss a pet topic at length: "So, you've got hundreds of people in full evening dress scrambling full-tilt at only three exits, two of which open inward for Christ's sake, and one of which is a revolving door, of all things, and, well, you can imagine. I mean, the revolving door immediately jammed, with some of the people losing their hands in the damn thing before either smoke inhalation or a blowtorch of flame from the lower level took them out and meanwhile, you've got hundreds of people at the other two doors, clawing their way over each other to the point where scores of people towards the bottoms of the piles were simply crushed to death while scores more vaulting themselves to the top were burned beyond recognition. I mean, do you know the sort of product women put in their hair back then? Not to mention the men. Human. Torches. No, it's true!"
Jack leans across the table and kisses her. Piper titters nervously. She then notices three or four other men flirting with her from various stations around the restaurant and bar area. Piper begins to wig.
The Laboratory Of It's Not The Fall That Blah Blah Splat. Sugar The Comatose Bong Monkey hoists himself out of his wheelchair onto a bed and starts ordering about his lackeys with nonsensical technobabble, all "thirty cc's of" this and "dream inducement level to" that. One of the flunkies has the unmitigated gall to question him, but Sugar smacks him down all, "Set the machine and give me the shot, dammit!" The lackeys obey.
Buckland's. Prue, exhausted, nods off at her desk, and...
...lifts her head to find Sugar grinning at her as the lighting becomes more saturated in golds and blues. She snatches up a letter opener and screams for help as Sugar morphs the scene around them from her office to the The Soundstage Of It's Not The Fall That...Splat. He icily asks her what she's hiding from, what with the long hours at a thankless job and everything. "I'm not hiding from innything!" she spits as the realization that she is once again paralyzed leads her to thrash about helplessly. Sugar stalks around the desk and grips the arms of her chair, pushing her around the stage so that the chair's casters flip about in the mist that rises from the floor. Nice touch. He sneers that she's powerless, and threatens to go after Piper and Phoebe "and any number of young, single women" after he's through with her, calling himself "The Dream Sorcerer" and rolling her closer to the edge. Drawing upon every bit of strength in her body, Prue launches her right leg into the air, grinding her knee into his crotch as she impales his hand with the letter opener. Sugar roars and yanks himself away from her as the phone chirps, cutting through their screams, and...